❀ ❛ HEALING HANDS ! ⁽ᴬᴾ⁾

been cheated on | been bullied | told a horrible lie | stolen something of value | overdosed on drugs | been drunk | passed out | cheated | bullied | punched someone in the face | been beaten up | broken a bone | been admitted to a hospital | had a near-death experience | been drugged | done drugs | smoked | kissed someone you weren’t attracted to | bled severely | killed someone | had an attempt on your life | made an attempt on your own life | lost someone | loved someone | gone without food for over three days | gone without sleep for over three days | been tortured | been slapped by a parent or higher up | been abused by someone who should have loved you | had a panic attack | been in a car accident | had sex | had sex with a stranger | been raped | felt raped | passed out from pain | cried yourself to sleep | spent a whole day in bed | hurt yourself | taken your anger out on yourself | taken your anger out on someone you love | been used | felt used | used | been terrified | played a cruel game on someone | been dominant | been submissive | been forced to smile | been misgendered | felt too many things at once | laughed when you felt like crying

        ‘ you’re certainly both, ’ kakashi agrees, even he leaves unspoken that sakura is also the scariest out of his students ( all three of them had long since surpassed him – even kakashi hadn’t gotten away without any dirt on his clothes after this sparring session, after all – but he’s especially proud of how sakura has progressed throughout the years, even though he really hasn’t had much of a helping hand in helping to train her ). 

        he smiles underneath his mask as his eyes curves upward in his usual eye-smile as he stretches out his shoulders. ‘ that was fun – it’s nice to be able to stretch after sitting behind a desk all day. ’

            It  always  makes  Sakura  GLOW  when  her  sensei  agrees  she’s  his  favourite  student,  just  as  it  had  never  failed  to  bring  a  smile  to  her  face  as  a  young,  impressionable  genin  with  stars  in  her  eyes  and  CRIPPLING  self-doubt.   She’s  always  felt  closest  to  Kakashi-sensei,  even  if  she  hadn’t  been  his  focus  as  a  teacher,  because  he  taught  her  the  one  lesson  that  had  shaped  her  as  a  person:  those  who  don’t  follow  the  rules  are  trash,  but  those  who  abandon  their  comrades  are  worse  than  trash.   Kakashi-sensei  may  haven’t  taught  her  everything  she  knows,  but  he  gave  her  valuable  life  lessons  that  formed  her  CORE  being  as  a  person.   Without  him,  she  might  not  have  even  sought  out  Tsunade’s  tutelage.

        ‘ hell yeah, we did !! ’ grin brightening in response to sakura-chan’s own, naruto raises his hand for a high-five, proud in all of their accomplishments – individual and team-wise. they’ve really come a long way from genin who didn’t really know anything about the ninja world to, well, where they are now – revolutionising the ninja world after everything that’s happened. ‘ we’re awesome high five ! ’

SPEED.          I  am  not  fast.   Really,  I  am  absolutely  the  slowest  ever.   I  try  my  BEST,  but  between  a  minimum  of  40  hours  a  week  at  work  and  commissions  and  my  own  professional  writing  (deadlines  are  a  bitch)  I  just  tend  to  vanish  occasionally.   I  also  run  several  other  forums,  communities,  and  servers  that  I  have  to  be  somewhat  active  in  and  that  kind  of  can  murder  my  desire  to  write  or  be  around  others.   That  being  said,  I  do  at  least  try,  and  I  promise  you  if  I  like  a  starter  or  reply  that  I’ve  drafted  it  and  mean  to  get  to  it  as  quickly  as  possible!   My  IMs  are  also  ALWAYS  open  if  you  think  my  slow  ass  is  being  too  slow — I  promise  I  won’t  feel  rushed  unless  you  actually  come  @  me  screaming,  LOL.

REPLIES / DRAFTS.          I  try  for  oldest  drafts  first  but  if  you  honestly  believe  I  will  always  answer  my  oldest  owed  threads  first  you  are  a  BOLD  individual.   I  kind  of  follow  my  muse,  so  like  while  I  owe  Satan’s  Naruto  a  reply  from  over  a  week  ago,  I  responded  faster  to  Satan’s  Kakashi  after  like  a  day  just  because  Sakura  wanted  to  sass  her  favourite  old  man.   It’s  just  how  I  work.   I  try  not  to  stress  over  dates  and  I  want  you  to  never  feel  that  way  about  me  ever.   You  can  come  back  four  months  later  with  a  reply  and  I’ll  cheer  you  on.   I  stan  roleplayers.   Y’all  out  here  doin’  WORK  for  free.

STARTERS.           I’m  bad  at  starters  but  I  will  always  try.   If  you  make  me  a  starter,  I’ll  give  you  my  first  born  in  GRATITUDE.   I’ve  always,  always  struggled  to  not  ramble  while  setting  the  scene — which  makes  me  terrible  for  starters  with  new  people,  because  I  don’t  wanna  scare  someone  off  with  a  1k+  word  starter.   I  write  a  LOT.   I  know  I  do.   I  try  not  to  but  hfjkdjhfg  it’s  really  hard.   Please  just  be  patient  with  me  if  I  owe  you  a  starter.   It’s  an  actual  test  of  will  (HA)  for  me.  

INBOX.          Send  me  everything  but  don’t  be  surprised  if  it  takes  me  actual  months  to  reply.   I  treat  asks  like  chances  to  write  DRABBLES  or  to  expand  on  a  relationship  of  whatever  variety  between  our  muses.   I  literally  hoard  things  in  my  ask  box.   I  love  dropping  drabbles  on  the  dash  and  I’ve  been  told  that  I’m  “out  of  control”  or  “writing  novels”  but  honestly  I  think…  inbox  drabbles  are  the  best  part  of  writing  for  me?   I  love  it.   I  love  any  partner  that  just  sends  me  unprompted  things  to  expand  on  in  my  inbox,  and  honestly  I’ll  ultimately  feel  WAY  closer  to  a  partner  willing  to  indulge  that  aspect  of  my  writing!

SELECTIVITY.          I  am  selective  as  can  be,  but  I  am  honestly  trying  to  be  better  about  it.   I’ve  spoken  about  it  in  length  a  lot  here,  but  I  have  some  ANXIETY  in  relation  to  the  Naruto  fandom  and  as  such  am  hesitant  to  branch  out  within  it.   I’ve  been  getting  better  thanks  to  encouragement  from  those  who  are  understanding  and  it’s  been  a  real  challenge,  so  I’m  sorry  if  it  ever  comes  across  like  I’m  not  interested.   I  just  need  to  move  at  my  own  pace  for  it,  honestly.  As  for  why  I  may  not  follow  you  back,  my  RULES  have  a  list  that  can  better  explain  that  for  you.

WISHLIST.          I  have  a  post  right  HERE  and  will  reblog  and  add  to  it  as  I  think  of  more!!

HONEST NOTE.          I’ve  said  it  before  and  I  will  say  it  again:   I’m  not  actually  that  mean  and  I’m  sorry  if  my  rules  make  me  seem  that  way,  but  I’ve  had  BAD  BRUSHES  with  the  Naruto  fandom  (not  the  rpc,  just  the  general  fandom)  and  have  struggled  with  being  around  others  in  the  fandom  as  a  whole  because  of  it.   I  will  not,  however,  go  against  my  own  comfort  to  make  someone  else  feel  better.   I  am  also  NOT  a  part  of  a  “group”  just  because  we  have  matching  URLs.   I  am  exclusive  with  a  few  different  blogs  with  matching  URLs,  but  this  is  only  because  they  know  my  Sakura  inside  and  out — and  most  of  them  aren’t  even  mutually  exclusive  with  me,  it’s  just  for  my  OWN  comfort.   None  of  them  write  in  my  canon,  which  is  Okay™  by  me,  and  so  I  ask  that  you  treat  me  as  an  indie  blog  because  that  is  what  I  am.

       ‘ … y’know, i miss the days where you were a cute little genin who would cling to every word i say, sakura. ’ actually, now that he thought about it, he didn’t think sakura really did that at all – he’s pretty sure he lost any kind of respect she had for him the moment he pulled out a porn book during their first bell test. ( although, he’s kidding anyway – he’s proud of sakura’s achievements throughout the years and how strong she’s become, even if she essentially got there without his help ). 

         ❝ Oh,  Kaka-sensei,  don’t  be  so  dramatic              we  both  know  I  ALWAYS  knew  better  than  to  cling  to  the  words  of  an  old  pervert. ❞     Her  smile  is  fond,  if  a  little  exasperated,  and  Sakura  chuckles  softly  as  she  crosses  her  arms  and  leans  against  the  now-crooked  training  post.   The  training  ground  is  more  than  a  little  destroyed,  practically  in  SHAMBLES,  but  she’s  managed  to  keep  even  a  speck  of  dirt  off  of  her  clothes  in  the  aftermath,  a  smug  expression  painted  firmly  on  her  face.   He’s  technically  right,  though — as  a  genin  she’d  idolised  him  and  never  would  have  tried  to  shatter  him  like  an  old  vase  during  a  training  exercise…  but  she  hasn’t  been  a  genin  in  years,  and  she’s  always  quick  to  remind  her  team  just  how  FAR  she’s  come  since  then.  

                      IT’S  LUMIE  LOVIN’  TIME!   This  is  partially  out  of  a  challenge  and  partially  because  I  wanna  love  on  Lumie  anyway.   See,  I’ve  mentioned  it  a  few  times,  but  I  have  an  extreme  wariness  of  the  Naruto  fandom — not  because  of  anything  the  rpc  ever  did,  I  didn’t  even  know  anyone  in  the  rpc  when  I  started,  but  because  I  am  a  fanfiction  writer.   I  dunno  if  y’all  have  ever  seen  how  NASTY  the  Naruto  fandom  can  get  about  accepted  fanon  and  hated  characters  like  Sakura,  but  let  me  tell  you  that  my  patience  was  worn  so  thin  that,  before  I  archived and rebooted,  I  actually  had  a  HARD BAN  on  Naruto  characters,  period.   Because  I  was  absolutely  scared  stiff  of  this  fandom.   However,  I’ve  been  slowly  warming  up  to  the  Naruto  rpc,  and  I  have  to  give  credit  where  it’s  due  to  @kazefist

         See,  Lumie  was  an  ABSOLUTE  stranger  to  me.   Lumie  and  Satan  were  friends,  and  I’ve  been  mutuals  with  Satan  for  close  to  three  years  by  now,  but  I  had  never  met  Lumie  and  had  no  idea  who  the  Minato  that  followed  me  was.   But  Lumie  goes  completely  ABOVE  AND  BEYOND  to  make  sure  people  feel  wanted,  appreciated,  and  included…  Lumie  liked  all  my  posts,  replied  with  encouragement,  and  just  generally  felt  like  they  were  trying  to  make  me  feel  better  as  a  whole.   Like  yes,  I  have  my  friends  who  joined  me — or  re-joined  in  some  cases — in  the  rpc  but  it’s  different  when  a  complete  stranger  tries  to  reach  out  despite  my  admittedly  really  mean  rules.   I  know  I  come  off  as  mean  and  rude,  but  it’s  honestly  because  I  actually  get  SUPER  anxious  about  this  fandom.   The  thing  is,  with  people  like  Lumie  and  Lis  being  so  welcoming  and  sweet  and  supportive,  I’m  warming  up  to  the  idea  of  “fandom”  and  branching  out  of  my  comfort  zone.

         So  there’s  my  omega  gross,  Lumie — I  love-love  you  because  you  make  me  feel  welcome  and  at  home  in  a  place  where  I  was  absolutely  terrified  of  being.   You’re  incredible.   I  am  absolutely  the  embodiment  of  “I  just  met  this  person  yesterday  but  if  anything  happened  to  them,  I  would  kill  everyone  around  me  and  then  myself”  over  you.   You’re  a  fantasticly  talented  and  devoted  writer  and  an outstanding  person  and  I’m  super,  super  grateful  I  got  to  meet  you.  <3

         ❝ I  owe  you,  huh? ❞     A  light  BLUSH  colours  her  cheeks  as  delicate  fingers  grasp  the  flower’s  stem  with  the  utmost  gentleness,  cradling  it  as  she  lifts  its  petals  to  her  nose  to  partake  in  its  fragrance.   Sakura  remembers  everything  Ino  ever  taught  her:  how  to  wear  her  hair,  what  colours  suit  her  best,  how  to  stand  up  for  herself…  and  EVERYTHING  about  flowers.   One  time,  Ino  had  gone  through  a  phase  when  they  were  much  younger,  still  in  the  Academy,  in  which  she  had  tried  her  hardest  to  memorise  every  single  flower  and  its  meaning.   Of  course,  Ino  didn’t  have  the  sort  of  MEMORY  Sakura  did — she  couldn’t  recall  specific  memories  or  events  at  whim,  after  all,  not  like  Sakura  always  has  been  able  to  do — so  she’d  eventually  dropped  the  endeavour  and  had  begun  recalling  flowers  at  her  own  pace  instead.   Sakura  REMEMBERS,  though;  she  can  pull  forth  memories  of  looking  at  different  flowers  in  the  Yamanaka’s  shop,  can  recall  what  Ino  had  diligently  read  from  her  flash  cards  with  near  perfect  clarity.

         Ino  hadn’t  just  left  any  pink  flower.   Oh,  no…  Ino  had  left  her  a  TULIP.

         ❝ A  declaration  of  love… ❞     she  murmurs  softly,  blush  DARKENING  as  bright  green  eyes  flutter  closed  with  another  quiet  sniff  of  the  flower  in  her  grasp.   She’ll  later  adamantly  deny  the  dreamy  sort  of  smile  on  her  lips,  the  way  her  HEARTBEAT  sped  up  at  the  thought,  and  she  knows  herself  well  enough  to  know  she’ll  question  such  a  message  at  a  later  point  in  time…  but  for  now?   For  now,  Sakura  will  allow  herself  this  moment  to  titter  to  herself  like  a  FLUSTERED  schoolgirl,  giggling  in  her  own  little  world  as  she  practically  skips  to  her  little  kitchenette  to  find  a  vase  and  some  water.