steven fucking rogers

Steve laughed, rolling his eyes. “What, Audrey Hepburn? Man, she was way out of my league. My batting average with women is still pretty awful, even after all this time.”

He looked out of the windscreen, smiling slightly. “You always had a way with the girls. Even after the serum, my luck is bad.” He looked to Bucky. “But I got you, and you’re better than a hundred beauty queens.” Here, in the car together, he could be as honest as he wanted. He had never stopped loving Bucky; sometimes it was the only thing that had kept him going. Getting Bucky back after Thanos. He’d had the nightmare of watching his best friend turn to dust a hundred times, helpless to do anything but stand there as it happened.

“But have you seen Sophia Loren during her prime? She was just drop-dead gorgeous.”

God, that eyeroll Bucky gave to Steve saying he was better than beauty queens must have exhausted him. How could someone roll their eyes with their entire body? Who the fuck knows but Bucky just did it. Steve was so dramatic.

Bucky thought back on Katherine, Audrey, Sophia, Ingrid and all he could say was, “They don’t make ‘em like they used to.” He rolled his eyes towards Steve and he smiled a little while looking at him because Steve was Steve. They didn’t have to make him like they used to. He was still him. Still Steve. Still that stubborn punk. Bucky got real lucky that Steve still wanted him around after everything. Even luckier than he wanted to be with him. Bucky was shocked. Every day he woke up next to Steve he was surprised it wasn’t a dream. It was very surreal for him.

“I was gonna get you a ‘Rogers: The Musical’ shirt, but figured you’d strangle me with it. I can’t believe they made that thing, Clint had said he’d turned off his hearing aids during it. Sometimes that opening number just pops into my head and I want to throw myself off a building.”

“You’re going to make due with soup and tea until that fever breaks,” he said sternly. For a ninety pound asthmatic, Steve had a good stern voice. “Radio said snow’s gonna last through the night, and I ain’t sending you back out into that.”

He fussed over the blanket he’d wrapped Bucky in, making sure he was covered but not smothered. “Besides, it’s about high time I started paying you back for all the times you took care of me. I got a long way to go.” Steve grinned and settled back into the couch, leaning into Bucky’s side.

“So, you want the radio, or want me to read somethin’ to you?”

Bucky looked so damn miserable. It wasn’t only because he didn’t feel well. He had worked a lot that week and he had some extra cash and he wanted to enjoy the snow while walking around the city with Steve, hot cup of coffee in their hands. He thought it was sweet and he’d gotten Steve that new coat for Christmas so Steve wouldn’t freeze to death. He thought it was nice. But here he was, shivering, blue and with Steve taking care of him! He had failed. 

“See if anything’s good on the radio?” Bucky liked dancing so he really liked music. He brought his legs up on Steve’s couch, curling onto the side of it and resting his head against the arm rest.

“I always figured that after you married Ingrid Bergman, you’d be set for life,” he teased. “And you’d treat your old pal Steve to a bit of Hollywood.”

He sipped his soda again and grinned. “I think it’s better we waited, now we got all these highways all over the place, makes drivin’ easier.”

Steve went silent for a moment, then asked, “What’s on your mind, Buck? You look like you’re a million miles away.”

“You mean after Catharine Hepburn left me for a woman?” Because young Buck was convinced she liked women after she kissed one for a film. Ignorant kid he was. But speaking of Hepburn, “You know she died in 2003? I could’ve had a chance.” Because Bucky was in and out of ice a lot in the 1990s so he could have totally tried to fuck Katharine Hepburn. It was such a silly idea. The old lady sleeping with The Winter Soldier. “How could would that had been?” Crossing one out of his list. He laughed at how ridiculous it was but had he had the chance? Bucky would have taken it.

He looked out of the windscreen, smiling slightly. “You always had a way with the girls. Even after the serum, my luck is bad.” He looked to Bucky. “But I got you, and you’re better than a hundred beauty queens.” Here, in the car together, he could be as honest as he wanted. He had never stopped loving Bucky; sometimes it was the only thing that had kept him going. Getting Bucky back after Thanos. He’d had the nightmare of watching his best friend turn to dust a hundred times, helpless to do anything but stand there as it happened.

“I told you working out there in all that snow was gonna catch up to you,” Steve chided gently, peeling the soggy, cold clothes from Bucky’s frame. He tossed them off to the side, then bent to pick up a large towel to rub the dampness from his skin. 

Steve then helped him dress in a spare shirt and trousers that Bucky had left over there months ago. The taller man was still shivering, and Steve left the towel draped over Bucky’s head as he hustled off to the hallway to open a closet. He brought back a spare blanket and wrapped it around his friend, then steered him to the couch and made him sit. “There. Stay put, I’ll put more coal into the heater and get some soup heated up.”

It was so strange, with their positions swapped. Normally it was Bucky nursing Steve through one of his usual ailments; taking care of his friend seemed strange. But he was going to do his level best to care for his best friend.

Steve managed to get some more coal into the heater, then bustled off to the kitchen to put a pot on the stove and fetch some leftover chicken soup from the fridge. A lifetime later, the soup was heated, and he poured it into a mug and brought it over to Bucky.

It was a good thing he had planned on staying the night with Steve because Winifred Barnes would have given her son a verbal ass whooping for not being more careful. She was a mom, after all.

He fussed over the blanket he’d wrapped Bucky in, making sure he was covered but not smothered. “Besides, it’s about high time I started paying you back for all the times you took care of me. I got a long way to go.” Steve grinned and settled back into the couch, leaning into Bucky’s side.

Steve popped open the can of Coke and set it into the cup holder in the middle console, opening a second as he lounged back into the passenger seat. They had both decided to start their trip with heading down to DC, to do the usual museum and tourist thing. Steve hadn’t been back there since Project Insight crash-landed into the Potomac. Since he’d discovered his best friend was still alive.

He sipped his soda and turned to look at Bucky’s profile as he drove. He seemed relaxed, and to Steve it felt like centuries since he’d last seen his best friend (lover, soul mate) so at ease. 

He sipped his soda again and grinned. “I think it’s better we waited, now we got all these highways all over the place, makes drivin’ easier.”

Steve smiled and pulled Bucky closer, arms circling his waist. “Was hoping you’d say that.” No more talking now, just kissing; he leaned back in to resume where he had left off.

The sum of Steve’s kissing experience whittled down to one secretary, and Bucky. The secretary had caught him off-guard, and it hadn’t been bad, but it was nothing compared to kissing Bucky. Years of longing that demanded to be fulfilled. Who cares if it would get him drummed out of the army? That was highly unlikely, given his role as Captain America. He was more concerned for Bucky’s future. He didn’t have the backing of senators to wipe away any transgressions, and Steve would not jeopardize his best friend’s future. He wanted to be able to go back home, to New York, and forge a life with this man in his arms.

Bucky had taught him well, and Steve knew all the little places to kiss that made Bucky moan. If they only had a few minutes before having to face the world, he was going to make the most of that time. His lips strung kisses along Bucky’s jaw, then his neck, and he sucked on his skin just enough to draw up redness that would quickly fade. As much as he wanted to mark the sergeant, he knew Bucky didn’t have an alibi to cover any potential Steve-caused hickeys.

Somehow, in the midst of all this kissing, Bucky took the role of the dame in the situation. His back was against the wall, his head tilted back, exposing the skin of his neck to Steve’s lips. It almost felt like Steve was starving for him. Which, you know, maybe. Steve had been deprived of making out all his life. Poor guy only knew what he’d seen in movies, or seen Bucky do, and the couple of weeks experience with his best friend.

And you know what? Bucky was fine playing the role of the dame because Steve was making him weak in the knees. Shouldn’t be surprising. Steve always was a quick learned and he had a really great teacher.

One hand left Bucky’s hips to pick open the buttons of his shirt, tugging the collar aside to bare the skin to Steve’s insistent lips. He bathed the area in hot kisses before setting his teeth against his skin. He was careful not to use too much pressure so as to actually hurt his lover, but there would definitely be a bitemark. No one would ever get close enough to see the set of the jaw was too wide for a woman.

“Maybe I just really like kissing you, Buck,” he retorted with a grin. He started over to his friend, but spared a glance to the door.

“We’ll be along, you guys go ahead without us.” He called to the door, taking the snort of acquiescence from the bowlered soldier as answer enough. Steve waited for the heavy footsteps of the Commandos to head down the hall, then moved in to kiss Bucky without warning. Wasn’t that why they were skivving off from the rest of their squad? He was going to make the most of every moment the two men had to themselves. Besides, they had years of kissing to make up for, in Steve’s opinion.

“We’re gonna have to reschedule that park date.” That’s what Bucky was going to call it, a park date. Those were the lowkey dates he had with girls. Wednesdays weren’t date nights, there wasn’t much to do so he’d take her out for street food and then they’d sit on a bench talking. The girls liked it and Steve was going to love it because he could have all the food he couldn’t have before.

The sum of Steve’s kissing experience whittled down to one secretary, and Bucky. The secretary had caught him off-guard, and it hadn’t been bad, but it was nothing compared to kissing Bucky. Years of longing that demanded to be fulfilled. Who cares if it would get him drummed out of the army? That was highly unlikely, given his role as Captain America. He was more concerned for Bucky’s future. He didn’t have the backing of senators to wipe away any transgressions, and Steve would not jeopardize his best friend’s future. He wanted to be able to go back home, to New York, and forge a life with this man in his arms.

“Don’t sell yourself short, Buck, you’ve earned plenty of accolades in uniform. You survived that POW camp, you’ve had plenty of injuries patched up. You’re one of the best damned soldiers out there fighting for America.” He said all of that so fervently, because he believed it. Bucky stood head and shoulders above anyone else except the other Howling Commandos, and that wasn’t just Steve piling compliments on his boyfriend. 

“But yeah,” he went on, slightly bashful now. “I think it’d be great if we stayed together. I couldn’t think of anyone else I’d want to spend my life with.”

“Steve, I got captured.” A lot of them did, but Bucky took responsibility for it. Still, he didn’t spill any government secrets. He didn’t say a damn thing no matter how much he was pressed or how much torture he had to withstand. He still didn’t think he deserved any medals. “Stop kissing my ass, Steve. You’ve had me since we were ten. You don’t have to try so hard.” He did not want the compliments, especially ones he felt he didn’t deserve.

He finished getting dressed. Standing in front of the mirror now fixing his hair with his fingers, there was a knock on the door. A couple of knocks. A couple of annoying knocks. Followed by Dum Dum’s voice, “You guys coming or what?”

Steve tucked his shirt in and laughed. “I’m not sure I’m brave enough to try the swing dancing. I just got used to being able to run and not lose my breath after two steps, and you want me to go all Fred Astaire? On thing at a time, Buck.”

Brooklyn. Home. Steve didn’t want to get ahead of himself, but if he and Bucky could be together, winning the war didn’t seem too far-fetched. Hell, with Bucky at his side, Steve felt like he could take on the whole Nazi war machine and send them all straight back to the devil. The future held endless possibilities.

“Me either,” he smiled. “We’ll probably have to do a tour or something after we get back and the president weighs us down with all those medals. You can move in with me, so long as the landlord hasn’t rented the place out from under me.”

“So you’re telling me Captain America is brave enough to storm a Hydra base but not brave enough to try swing dancing?” Bucky was teasing and it was clear in his tone. He turned away from Steve, grabbing a long sleeved button down shirt and slipping it on. He began to button it, starting at the bottom and working his way up. He was looking down at the buttons and his hands as he did it rather than at Steve. He was listening to him though.

Bucky laughed at the mention of medals. “Oh yeah because I’ll be getting so many of those.” He joked. He didn’t see that happening but America’s golden boy here? Yeah, Steve would get his medals and Bucky hoped he was there to see it. They’d be well deserved.