5.25

im sorry that im still thinking of you when you make her yours

I thought, we had a good thing going.  I would rather see your smile, than to see a million stars on the sky.  I would rather spend my time with you, than to wander aimlessly in the library. 

Seeing you, being frustrated about us.  It breaks my heart,  I would rather be crying in the bathroom, than to see you break apart.  I would rather send my soul to hell, than to see your eyes water. 

Dear, lover.  Please understand that I didn’t break you on purpose.  It is solely, me, trying to be sacrificial. But ended up wrecking you more than I anticipated. 

a heart that was presented to me, vulnerable, tempting, mysterious; tempting me to keep it, accepting them as a promise; a promise to keep them safe and sound.

i took it, i thought, i could handle it; i thought i kept it safe, gave it love, holding it preciously in my hand, i concentrate hard to not let it fall, but I tripped and fell.

all that is left, are fragments. i return it to its owner, all that i did to keep it safe weren't remembered, all that will be left, is how i broke her heart.

I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I can’t help but to feel sad to see that you are happier without me in your life. 

 I know I can’t give you what you want, but I still want you to be here.  Even if it wrecks our heart, I want you to stay right here with me. 

This is a selfish mood, but aren’t everyone selfish? Wanting something from others, disregarding their feelings; Doing things that are only beneficial to them, and solely themselves?

Please bear with me with my selfish request, and just say for one more moment.  

You told me to deal with reality, But you don't know how much I hate it; Having to be hurt again and again.

You told me to be decisive, bur being indecisive was my decision.

I know you always want the best, and this is why, I left.

I remember the sunset that we both shared on our first date, the way you look at me so loving yet curious. I miss the way that we use to talk all night, always denying that we were sleepy. I walk around the mall that we always went, reminiscing every single detail.

I wish I had the guts to tell you how I felt there and then, those three words that should be said right then.

I wish I told you how much I love your brown eyes that tell stories, your smile that lights up my world, your warm touch that feels like home.