kayla may

Growing up, I struggled with a lot of mental health issues including depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and other personal struggles throughout my life. I know that many other children and adults also struggle with similar things. Children have so many things to cope with, the same as adults, but the worst thing about it is that most children lack the ability to understand the gravity of what is actually happening around them. They are able to understand something is wrong or something doesn’t feel right, but they can’t quite grasp the situation as a whole.

The mental illnesses children and even adults face is an extremely prevalent issue in today’s society. Children have to cope with family issues, struggles with personal things, school, and even problems in our world that they don’t truly understand, but still manage to cause problems in their lives. 

My teddy bear was named love you bear. He was the last present my parents got me for valentines day before they got divorced. He was dressed like a little devil with red horns on either ear, a red cape, and a little red heart he was holding with both hands that said: “love you”. I have so many memories and stories buried in the heart of my bear. I’ve lived through so many stages of my life with my bear by my side. 

Having a teddy bear or another comfort object can be instrumental to a child’s ability to cope with things going on in their lives. Often, a comfort object will be tied to a sense of safety or a time in their life that brings them comfort (before anything ever went wrong and it always felt safe.) For me, I got my teddy bear back in a time when I had so many good childhood memories (honestly some of my only good childhood memories). I have memories of Christmas scavenger hunts, easter mornings, family game nights, and vacations. Being able to relate hugging or laying with my teddy bear to those feelings of family and safety offered a sense of relief from reality even when I didn’t understand what that meant. 

That beat-up little bear may not seem like much, and maybe he wasn’t really, but the feeling I got when I held him after a long day or even a good day was all I needed as a kid. Honestly, I can’t remember what it felt like when things were bad as a kid except for a few short flashes of memories holding my bear to fall asleep. I do, however, have lots of memories of my bear as I grew older. Specifically, throughout the worst relationship of my life. I was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship and it was hard to deal with, but every once in a while I got to lay down and go to sleep with my bear in my arms. I was living away from home and didn’t have any connection to my family or anything else I knew my whole life, but I had my bear. Almost all of the time during that relationship, especially while I was living away from home I felt as though I had lost myself, but I would hug my bear and for just a second I was brought back. I got quick memories and flashes of emotions, safety, and comfort that I didn’t have anywhere else. From the outside, that bear who was missing a horn and had a torn-up cape didn’t mean much, but to me; that bear saved my life.

#tbt reminds me of my childhood bear I lost a couple years ago :(( miss you fur-ever love you bear

Some people may look at this and think “Okay and what does this mean for me?” or “why should I care”. There are a couple of different reasons to care about the connection between emotional support objects and mental health issues beginning with the comfort you can feel if you dig your old teddy bear out of a box somewhere, and ending with the way you can help your future kids deal with the changing world around them. 

In an article about teddy bear culture, Donna Varga discussed the significance of gifting teddy bears in certain cultures, “It was not just an item of childhood pleasure, but in stories, it was presented as capable of bringing emotional and material comfort to children, and being able to comfort them from adult vagary.” 

In an article titled ‘Teddy Bears’ Provide Comfort During Crisis, about local hospitals requesting teddy bears for patients after the loss of someone, the author states “Some bears address infant loss, some general loss for people who lost older children," said Tyson. 'This was born out of the loss of a child, but there are certainly a lot of other applications for it.". (Concepcion, 1). This article proved the need for teddy bears and the fact that they can provide real help to those who need it.

Where’s the Science?

You may be wondering what scientific facts truly prove the connection between coping with mental illness and comfort objects like a teddy bear. Australian Psychologist Lorraine Aldridge discussed the connection between psychology and stuffed animals on her website where she mentions the “lifting of their self-esteem and boosting of their sense of worth.” She also mentions the connection between comfort objects and good-feeling hormones such as oxytocin and serotonin. Lorraine Aldridge states “When present in certain part[s] of the brain, oxytocin decreases stress and anxiety levels.” on the connection to stress. In an article titled “The Real-Life Science of Stuffed Animals, Children, and Stress Reduction” the author elaborated on the previous quote stating “serotonin contributes to feelings of well-being and happiness by stabilizing mood.” 

In another article about what makes a teddy bear comforting authors stated “Our study revealed that the emotional bond shared with a teddy bear is a predominant factor.” (Tribot et al., 1). However, the authors also went on to discuss other key characteristics with respect to the bond, “...we identified characteristics that play a significant role in the perception of comfort, which lies in a combination of visual, olfactory, and especially kinesthetic characteristics.” This shows the true bond children share with their teddy bears or other comfort objects with the science that lies behind them. 

I personally have many friends who still have their comfort object, whether it was an old blanket or stuffed animal. They don’t look like anything special but people have held onto them for their entire lives and have them in their rooms until they have a rough week and decide to sleep with them for a night. However, I have also noticed an overall attitude to adults still having to use their comfort objects: shame. Many people feel like they will be made fun of or laughed at for the old teddy bear they have in their room. According to a 2017 survey, around “half of  America's adults still have their childhood stuffed animals.” This study proves how common and normal it is for someone to still hold onto things like comfort items from their childhood.

For some people, such as myself, that comfort comes from a teddy bear. For me, and many others according to science AND personal experience, a teddy bear can provide not only a sense of comfort and safety but also a connection to childhood innocence and memories of a simpler and calmer time. 

There are so many terrifying problems in our world that we are forced to deal with and cope with as children and adults. There are struggles and hardships, but there is also good and peace throughout our lives. Something I always remember when I’m struggling is that things can’t stay bad forever, life finds a balance. Life is hard but we all know that. On the bright side, there are things, large and small, sometimes stuffed, that give us the little bits of comfort we need and there is no shame in needing a little bit of help every once in a while.