LET ME GO.

I don’t understand how they can just disappear. It’s always one suck, a brand new lipbalm and the only lighter that fucking works. It’s the pits. I want to go through this blackhole and live in the land of quality bics. I’m back in London, how far do I have to go to get this light Margs? 

Don’t make me think about all the tubes of lipbalm I’ve “misplaced” over the years that managed to make it into this mysterious black hold of lighters and other small handheld items. Because that’d be an even bigger number than the lighters! The Westin! I’m staying here for the next little while for Barbie filming.

Whoa whoa…you’re telling me you don’t love me and my Sebastianisms?

Sebastian, whoever told you that I did in the first place..they were clearly lying to you! I hate to be the one to break the hard news to you.

Do you ever wonder where lighters go? One minute there in your purse and the next they’re straight up gone. How can I possibly lose so many lighters in one life time? I really don’t fucking understand it.  Is there a blackhole somewhere that houses all the lost socks, lighters and lip balms? If so take me there. 

Do you have a light? I need a smoke. 

That legitimately has to be the only logical reason they all somehow disappear and then magically reappear in somewhere far as hell from where you originally lost them. This black hole pops up in the house, in cars -- literally the most random of places, honestly. But unless you’re in London, that light might have to wait.