Let Me Roast You

You're too boring to roast.

There's so much to work with here but what bothers me most is your weird chin.

I would hate watching you eat corn on the cob and also you can't spell.

Nice clear shower curtain, ya pervert!

You're definitely the craigslist killer.

Your hair looks like part of the painting behind you.

I can tell you have a lisp.

So you're Orlando Bloom's weaker twin that didn't get enough nutrients in utero?

Why do y'all look like giants in a dollhouse?

You look like John Krasinski: the awkward years.

You're the most disappointing mermaid ever.

That landscape has the same hairline as you.