can i come home now?

or who else would it be? stuck in that same cycle mid-june. it’s been months since this. onwards - the part of it all where I feel bad* enough to need to put words down on paper about it. I need need need to remember because I will forget. I want to make you want me I want everyone to want me I want I want I want. I am a bottomless pit of want and need and please please and "I’m sorry I’m like this really I’m trying not to be" and i worry for everyone who steps too close. *perhaps bad is not the right word. maybe there's no word at all - just me feeling enough or at all. maybe i'm the one with a bird pecking at my liver each day

at night too, even if sometimes it’s sad