Maybe Babee?

I've read that a lot of women have a list of 'what not to say' to someone that has just had a miscarriage. I was determined not to have a list. No one knows what to say, and honestly nothing can be said to make it better. So I took on the theory that saying something accidentally inappropriate was better than saying nothing at all (e.g. You can always have another baby). As long as they were trying to be comforting, I took comfort in it. Well tonight I've added one thing to my 'Things not to say list'. At a work function and a friend had to leave early because her child became sick. A 'friend', who knows our situation, looks at me and says 'At least you'll get to keep your social life'...Gee, thanks!

After our miscarriage I thought all I wanted was for my body to go back to normal. I felt that my small bump and full breasts were nasty reminders of what we had lost. Now the are gone they literally and figuratively feel so empty.

So nervous to go back to work today. My colleagues have been amazing, but I'm worried I'll just be a big ball of years all day! Needs to be done though, I need some normality back.

First run post miscarriage. It was hard. My lungs hurt, my legs hurt but it was actually nice to have something other than a broken heart hurting.

I worry about getting pregnant again after our miscarriage. I just feel like he was our miracle baby. We used all of our luck getting pregnant with him. I don't know that we'll be as lucky second time around. We dodged PCOS, one fallopian tube, ovarian vein incompetence and uterine arterioveonous malformation to create him. Now he is gone, can we defy the odds again?

10 dpo and tempted to test! My period is due late tomorrow/early the day after. The test I have say up to 5 days before your period is due, but I'm assuming that's based on a lp of 14 days (not 11 like mine). Still, today comes within that time frame.

Had my cranky pants on today! I was busy rushing around all day, getting ready for a get together at our house tomorrow. By tea time I was exhausted and managed to spill it everywhere before I even had a chance to serve it. And I lost it. Had to go sit outside for a while and take a few deep breaths. How embarrassing!

Keep having dreams of getting a bfp this cycle. In one dream, I took a cheap internet test and initially thought it was negative. Then I realised I was looking at the wrong part. So I looked at 5 tests I had binned and they were all positive too. In another dream, I was on tumblr trying to draft my post to announce my bfp. I struggled and struggled because I felt like a fraud. All this time I've been posting about how hard it will be and bam, first shot. I didn't want to post it because so many beautiful people on here have been trying for far too long, and I didn't want to break their hearts. Then I woke up thinking I'd dreamt about these things for a reason. So at 8dpo I took a cheap test. Obviously it was negative, but I know it was way too early to test. I just couldn't help myself!

Today is 6dpo and I'm not feeling any different. Aside from bloating and fatigue (which are quite 'normal' for me) I no longer have any early pregnancy symptoms. I know that means nothing, and it is still possible. But I feel like I needed the reality check because I was a little too confident. At least this way I won't be too disappointed if AF arrives.

Today is 5dpo (according to my bbt) and for the second time in 3 nights I woke up at 3am feeling really queasy and strange. This morning I had another bbt spike that was much higher than usual and another positive opk. I wish I could stop reading too much into these things! Trying not to get my hopes up too much...but what are the chances of getting a bfp first shot with PCOS, pelvic congestion syndrome and one blocked tube?

My temp as been up for 4 days now. And for some unknown reason I decided to do another opk. It was the most positive I have ever had ... Really confused now!

Woke up at 3:30 this morning with pins and needles tingling through my body. I then felt the urge to vomit, had the shakes and could feel my heart racing. After a few minutes the nausea disappeared, but I still felt off. I spent the next hour going back and forth to the bathroom. I managed to get back to sleep, and I've now woken up feeling okay, but still odd. No idea what caused this ... Could it be sperm meets egg? I sure hope so!

Oh man, going mental already. Ovulation a hasn't even been confirmed, and I'm on the lookout for early pregnancy signs....how do people stay sane during the two week wait?

Temp was up this morning. Fingers crossed it stays that way so we can officially being our first two week wait! (Who am I kidding, totally doing internet cheapie pregnancy tests at 10dpo!)

My sister in law is 36 weeks pregnant. I've been following her pregnancy with an app that tells you what is happening with Baby and what you should do each week. One of the comments from this week was to spend time in the nursery each day, thinking about how your life will change. It almost brought me to happy tears and it's not even me. I'm going to be an emotional, hormonal mess when it's my turn!