A Wound that needs a Dressing

The past few weeks I've been dating different girls and had no luck so far in terms of finding something that is worthwhile. Until I met that one girl a few days ago. Intelligent, funny, cute smile, great sense of humor and fantastic hobbies. This girl made me question everything I know about love.

Have you ever wondered about your relationships and how they came to be? I realized that most of my relationships were a product of me not caring and going for the next best thing. This girl however is the first person I meet that makes me actually want to fight for something and makes me forget about everything. Once she is around me the whole world shifts and I cannot stop to listen to her.

After meeting her a few times I was so sure about us having great chemistry, but now I'm doubting everything. Even tho we spent a whole day together laughing, cooking, and flirting, only I saw those meet ups as a date.

The feeling of finally finding somebody you actually want to be with and then it being snuffed out is twisting my insides right now. I can't concentrate on my studies anymore and am questioning my ability to actually find a fitting partner.

What is chemistry if it doesn't lead to anything? Are we meant to be only friends? Or am I just supposed to stay alone and let women have their ways with me until they're tired of me or I become tired of them.

I'm so sick of being a soulless object in a relationship I don't care about. I just want to be with somebody that makes me care again and feel loved. I just want to be with that one girl.