shitfuck

A laugh escaped his own lips, lacking any humor at all to what she had to say. “Right, right, I forgot. If it’s not for trouble you’re here to fuck me. Sorry, my bad, should have seen my options.” Alright, maybe he needed to tone it down, but he refused to be played over and over again. Maybe it was his fault for still being in love with her, but knowing that, she still took advantage of it– of him, didn’t she? So was there truly any difference between their morals right now? He was close to sending her out, close to sending her away because he’d be damned if he decided to help her. He promised himself that this was the last time, and the door was just a few steps away from them, but he didn’t.

While hearing her out, his brows furrowed more in concern than anything else. “What the hell Max?” he questioned before gesturing her inside. “Talk to me, what’s going on?” and there he goes again falling into the same rabbit hole he promised to stay away from. one day this woman would be the death of him, and if truth be told, he’d die just for her. Something he would never admit to aloud. “I’m going to need more than that. You know how this works, you give me names and I take care of them.” like always.

“Could you just put your fucking ego away for one second and listen to me” Max was uncharacteristically serious, eyes rimmed red as she struggled to even begin to find the words she was looking for. This was her own fault, she knew that- the number of times she had more or less toyed with the boy. Never out of malice. She was in this weird purgatory between wanting him and knowing she didn’t deserve a man like Micah. Not after everything she had done to destroy the perfect relationship they had before everything turned to shit.

She couldn’t look him in the eye because she knew his reaction wasn’t going to be anything she desired. Going to him not only put herself at risk, but Micah as well which was just an added bonus to this mess she had managed to get herself in “Not this time” another huff of humourless laughter left her, the fear on her face more real that it had ever been before “This isn’t just running coke for trailer park Ted” Hands ran over her face and through her messy hair, legs forcing her to pace around the room as she gathered the courage she needed to say the name of the man she was currently stuck working for- trying to figure out how to explain how she even got into this mess "Big Tony’ He would know the name, the kid got himself into his fair share of trouble. But Micah would know even more so what kind of connections Tony Simone had and just how dangerous this was.

Was he angry? No doubt. Did he love her? That much had been obvious hadn’t it? Yet she had to run off again and he was sick of it. He was sick of always needing her and wanting her. Importantly he hated himself that despite the way she made him feel, he would always, a l w a y s come back to her if she needed him. What was wrong with him? No, what was wrong with her? Why was it that he couldn’t move on?? Why did she have such a hold on him? He could have been out of here, away from this damn town, yet here he stuck by. All because of her. 

He could tell she was on edge, but when was she never? He could tell something was wrong but he promised himself he wouldn’t speak up to help her, to be there for her, so he waited. He waited for her to talk. Call it pride? Or ego? He just couldn’t take this anymore. So when the set of words came out of her mouth, he did his best to remain calm. “Is that all you came to say? What do you want me to do, Maxine?” he asked instead. “–I’m going to need more than that because you’re always in trouble.” He didn’t mean to sound so bitter, but he was still angry and he wasn’t sure who to blame. Her or himself for allowing this to happen all the time.

She had thought for a long while that it was simply best to try as much as she could to stay out of his life. Since her accident, her own had changed dramatically and she couldn’t seem to stop spiralling downward. This was the final straw though, the time when everything became too real and she needed to step back and away from the life she had been living in so naturally, she found herself at Micah’s doorstep, begging for his help because she didn’t know where else she could go “No” she stated, a heat in her voice “You always think I’m in trouble. There’s a difference” 

Again, she found herself falling silent, thinking that maybe coming here was a mistake. She could have easily continued on with her life, going down the path she had taken but there was a firm line on the ground she had never wanted to go over and she had. Maybe she wasn’t as in control of things as she always thought she was “I wouldn’t have come to you if it wasn’t fucking serious” Max continued, a huff of humourless laughter escaping her. She hated this- hated how much she needed him no matter how much she tried to survive life on her own. Hated having to go to him for help “This is real trouble” her voice cracked even though it was hushed “Like the kind of trouble where if the wrong people knew I was talking to you my body would be found in the river in a couple of days”

He wasn’t expecting company, hell he wasn’t even sure what time it was so when the constant knocks just continued, he reluctantly got out of bed without glancing at the clock. Then it was his doorbell; “I’ll be right there!” he shouted– hopefully loud enough for the person to hear. He didn’t bother grabbing a shirt, or pants for that matter since he wasn’t given a choice. As he opened the door, he had to blink a couple of times to make out the person on the other end and his irritation grew into concern when he saw Max standing there. “What the hell?” should he be angry that it was the end of them after new years? Yes, but he found himself stepping aside so she can come in. 

“I’m not some sort of giglo you can come to just because you feel like it so if this is some sort of booty call, i’d appreciate it if you can at least – call.” not that it mattered she she always did things her way anyway. “What’s going on?”

As the door opened, Max glanced around her once more, icy eyes piercing the darkness around them before she pushed past him and stepped into his home leaving him to close the door behind her. “This isn’t a fucking booty call” she snapped, knowing very well he had every right to be angry with her considering how she had left things with him. Again. Max had a bad habit of fucking the two of them up worse than how it had been before they interacted, her stubborn demeanour always getting the best of her no matter how much she knew he was the only person for her. She couldn’t make eye contact with him, already felt him judging her.

Max paced for a moment, fingers picking at the beds of her nails as she did when she was anxious. She wasn’t sober. Hell, she rarely was these days. But that didn’t change anything in that moment. Finally, she stopped, turning to face the boy with a look of complete and utter defeat “I’m in trouble, Micah”

He would have loved to strip her of her clothes just then, but again the women’s bathroom wasn’t a place to take your time. Not when there could be people waiting for access in a few moments– something that hadn’t crossed his mind until just now. He did slow his movements, just enough until she was at a comfortable position before his lips greeted her own, trailing down to her jaw line and lightly biting her. If he could, he would have left marks all over her, but again, this wasn’t teh place he wanted to be; Her moans excited him– because it wasn’t just a noise for him, unlike the other women he had been with in the past. This meant more– this was as close as it was to getting personal with her, something he had missed for a while now; As her hand came between them, he made sure he wasn’t fully blocking her view, even if it meant breaking the close proximity between them. But he did pull back, to make sure she was alright; A hand trailed over to her neck, trailing down just enough to tug on her top. If he had pulled at a button or so, he didn’t care in that moment. Again, he had to mentally chastising himself for choosing this place of all places where he couldn’t do much. His thoughts were pushed away when her fingers met his lips and he instantly sucked on them, savoring her taste. He trailed his hand down just then, mimicking her actions as he began to rub her clit with his thumb. The pressure was building within him and he wanted to release, but not until she did. 

There was a part of her that wished they were somewhere else. His car- his place- her place. At this point, it didn’t matter she just wanted to be with him, if even only for a night. She wanted to feel his skin on hers again, leave her own little marks over his perfect skin- claim him, to take the time to remember all of the things she had loved about him in the past- still loved about him now. And she wanted to see him as he unfurled due to her, watch his eyes roll into the back of his head as he buried his entire length inside her, his teeth dig into his own lip with every small movement. The lighting in the bathroom did not do him justice in the slightest and for a split second her mind lingered on the words ‘next time’. Next time there would be better lighting, next time they’d be more private. But they both knew next time wouldn’t happen. This was their conclusion, the moment where they would both be allowed to move on with their lives. That was the lie she kept telling herself, at least. “Micah,”  her breath hitched as his hand slipped between them, eyes locked on his as his touch made her entire body tense. Fingernails dug into his bicep, her head hitting the wall behind her, gaze moving from Micah to the ceiling as she put her entire focus on not allowing him to push her over the edge- something he seemed to be exceedingly good at “You need to slow down”

She didn’t hold back from moaning, and that only aroused him more. To know that she enjoyed this as much as he was enjoying this. There was no time for the soft or tender kisses–not here anyway, not in this moment anyway and while he’d regret choosing this place of all places, he’d make it up to her. That was teh thought going through his mind, instead of the one that usually told him she’d run– again. He was so sure in this moment, that she’d stay, that tomorrow they’d talk this over and it will be alright. It’s probably why he felt as if this were perfect at the same time, because he wasn’t thinking through this clearly enough. He knew her like the back of his hand, that she would run the first chance she got, because that’s what she did– yet he couldn’t find hismelf thinking of those thoughts as he thrust into her. The whispered word against his ear only encouraged him to do just that. A low moan was elicited from his own lips against her neck before he sucked in the sensitive skin between his teeth. He had no issues in leaving a mark–not that he was thinking straight about the next day to begin with. His tongue ran over her neck, up to her ear, biting down on her ear lobe lightly as he thrust into her harder, faster as she had instructed. God he was so in love with her, if only she knew;

She was overrun by nostalgia. The way he smelled- felt- held her- all of it reminded her of times part of her wished she had never run from. How they couldn’t wait until they were somewhere a little more private than the ladies room at the Moonlight Bar. How, no matter how much time seemed to pass, they had always still wanted nothing more than each other. Hell, even now as Micah slammed into her over and over again she was reminded of never really wanting anyone else. He knew her, his movements just naturally hitting every sweet spot that was buried deep inside where no one could see. The way she moaned his name over and over as he slammed into her was the closed thing to ‘i love you’ she was brave enough to release. She adjusted herself slightly, propping her legs up higher so he had better access, pulling the tight skirt up so it sat around her waist and freed her legs just a little more and giving her room for her fingers to glide between the two of them. She was soaked, Max had already known that as a finger slipped on either side of his moving member, stretching her with each quick thrust. She pulled her hand back out, resisting the urge to flick them across her clit in order to slip them gently into his mouth. 

The rushed movements were encouraging– because again, it only proved that she did want this. That she wasn’t about to run off, that she was here, but it also made him impatient because it had been such a long time since he had a taste of her. It was unfortunate that they weren’t in a better setting because he’d have no problem in taking his time with her. Savoring those moans and gasps he’d cause; For now, he wrapped an arm around her waist, moving her from the sink to the wall, carefully placing a hand behind her head so he wouldn’t hurt her in the process. His free hand trailed down to her skirt, pulling it up until the thin material of her underwear was in view. His lips reattached to hers as his hand slid between her thighs, trailing up until his fingers touched the fabric of her underwear.  He couldn’t help the grin that formed on his lips while into the kiss because of how wet the material was, and that, itself was good to know that he still had an affect on her. He’d gloat later, for now he wanted to feel her around him, clenching him, which is why he pushed the thin material down her legs as far as he could before positioning himself between her legs. Pulling away from her lips only to trail his kisses down to her neck. And once she had him released, he didn’t wait much long before pushing himself into her, his teeth sinking into her neck ever so lightly as he did so . One hand being used against the wall to brace himself, while the other just beneath her leg as he continued thrusting into her, hard and slow.

In their time apart had gone a little wild, made her way through a good amount of Williamsburg’s worse kind of men in an attempt to fill the void that was left behind when she lost him. There was a time when the two of them were happy as could be but that time was nothing more than a distant memory now. A past they could never go back to but the way he was grabbing her now nearly made her glad they could never go back. The second his pants were undone her hand instantly wrapped around his girth while the other pushed his pants down enough to release him. Both of them were heated, her hand massaging his member, his trying to force her panties down her legs so he could get to her. Maxine moved her hips from side to side, wiggling to help him achieve his task and the moment he did she found herself being thrust against the cold wall. Micah didn’t even tease her, the moment he was free she was lifted off the ground and he forced himself inside her. She didn’t even try to stifle the moan that erupted from her, it was clear that neither of them cared if anyone knew what they were doing within those thin walls. Her hips moved to meet his, a heated moan escaping her each time he entered her. Her head tilted up slightly to allow him better access to her neck- allow him to leave whatever marks he felt like leaving on her “faster” her voice was nearly a whimper in his ear, her pulsing walls craving him.

Did he care that they were in a public place at the moment? No. The fact that she didn’t pull away only meant she wanted this just as much as he did. Her words only sent chills down his back and he wasn’t sure if it was because of the door that kept opening to the place, or the fact that he considered them more than just her drunken words. He kissed her back with the same fervor, only tightening his grip around her even as she began pushing him through the crowd. He didn’t care about the bodies they were pushing through because in that moment it was just him and her. Together; Like old times. It was until his back hit something–or someone that he had to pull away. A quick apology was mumbled at the people they had disturbed before he reached down for her hand and led her to the only place he could think of. The bathroom; With the chaos going on right now, he doubt anyone would be in the bathroom so once he pulled her inside– the girl’s bathroom no less, he pushed the trash against the door with his foot, just enough to jam the knob so no one would try and enter. But soon enough he had her pulled against him, with her back against the sink, and his lips against her own. Even after this long, she had the affect to drive him crazy, and he wasn’t sure if he loved it or hated her for it. He bit down on her lower lip, just enough for her to remember the next day, while his hands trailed up her shirt. His fingertips probably cold against her warm skin in that moment. God he missed her, but he wasn’t sure what this was. Or if he should be thinking too much into this.

The only time there wasn’t a line waiting for the woman's bathroom in a crowded bar was right at midnight on New Years. That was where they were lucky and while every girl in that room would hate them as they shamelessly exited later that night, she didn’t care. Maxine kept on  his heels, hand locked with his as he pulled her into the washroom and forced the trashcan under the handle of the door so that anyone who needed to enter would be blocked. They had the small room all to themselves. He didn’t even give her time to breathe and maybe think this through before his lips crashed down on hers, teeth bumping against one another as her body was pinned between the counter and his body. Max pushed him off her a little. Only enough so there was space between them for her hands to start working on the button to his jeans until it popped open. She was frantic, as if she couldn't get him inside her fast enough. His fingers on her skin force goosepumps to scurry across her skin, the moan that tried to escape her muffled by his lips.

She didn’t push or pull back, in fact she came closer, which was enough to know that she wanted this as much as he did. Yet the only thing he didn’t understand was what was it that she wanted? A night of fun, or something more than that? He wished he could read her mind, rather than wait for her next move. She wanted this now–that much even he could guess, and maybe it was alright to blame it on the alcohol. The rational side of him told him to stop seeing that they were both under the influence, but the irrational, the part that wanted this told him that it was alright.  His arm tightened around her waist, and his thoughts were cut off when the count down began to a new year. What do you want? Her words resonated in his mind and just before the countdown reached to one he had leaned in and pressed his lips against hers in response. Her. He wanted her, but it was more than that. He needed her, because that’s how he got through the day. To know that she was safe, with him. If seen from an outsider’s perspective, they would call this toxic but he didn’t care. Weren’t some things just worth fighting for? She didn’t have to say it, and he’d never force her into anything, but why  give up an opportunity? Perhaps this was wishful thinking, but here’s to hoping for something good for the new year.  Pulling away from the kiss, just enough to be able to speak, Micah brushed his lips against her own. “You. I want you.” Now how she’d interpret it would be up to her, and in that moment, he wished they were someplace private.

Fuck. If she was being honest she wasn’t really expecting him to have such a reaction to her words. They were already a complicated mess of toxicity and abuse, this little mishap would probably only make it worse. Unfortunately for Maxine, her rational side was basically dormant at this time. The second she noticed him moving into her, she did the same, falling in the natural sync they had always had together. Their lips met and the entire room around them burst into joyful cheers. It was cliche but she didn’t care. Hands moved up his body to rake through his thick curls before he pulled away and left her momentarily breathless. Bright eyes once again darted between his chocolate hues, unable to focus on them both due to just how close he was “I’m yours” they were close enough that her lips touched his when she spoke, voice barely notable over the chaos that was ensuing around them “I’ve always been yours” she added before pulling his lips back down onto hers- breathing him in, tasting him, taking in every little bit of him before the night was over and they were back to hating each other for no real reason. She started pushing him through the crowd, lips still on his like she was completely and totally desperate for him- they needed some privacy. 

Would it be fair for him to take a crack at that statement? Because from the times he recalled, things she did was anything but good–not that he was complaining. Instead, he just allowed her to speak, while finishing the bottle of beer he had with him. Did he enjoy the close proximity between the two? Absolutely? Should his mind be wandering at this moment? No, but he couldn’t help his thoughts. The fresh scent of her against him– it had just been so long since she’d been this close, he couldn’t help it. Not really. At her suggestion, he raised a brow. “Careful now, I don’t want you stepping on my toes.”he teased but nodded in agreement. The only reason why he chose to dance was– well again, it had been so long since they had been this close. So why not? Taking her hand, he led her towards the middle of the bar, before pulling her towards him, a hand instantly resting on her hip, and the other trailing up her arm slowly. “Should I be glad you might not remember this in the morning?” the last thing he wanted was for her to run and avoid him again– as if he hadn’t noticed. Again, he just wasn’t going to ruin this moment by bringing it up.

Maybe this was a bad idea- being so close to him she could smell the Carona on his breath and the musty scent that instantly brought her back to better times. There was a time when she thought that they were proof that true love existed, that they would be together until the end of time and then still, even then, they would find their way back to each other one way or another. Or maybe it was a good idea- to get all the pent-up frustrations out of their systems so they could finally move on. Max wasn’t really sure and she wasn’t really in a state to truly think about what she needed as opposed to what she wanted. “I remember everything” her tone was more serious than it had been before like a switch had gone off. It was the voice with a confession that would never be spoken lingering on the tip of her tongue. Her petite frame moved closer to his, body flush against him as they moved to the beat of the heavy music that was playing “What do you want, Micah?” Max knew what he wanted but she wouldn’t make the first move. It wasn’t her right to take that step after everything she had done to deliberately hurt him in the past. If he wanted to go through that all over again, it was on him this time.

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t surprised that she was actually talking to him and not being a smart ass like she usually was, but he didn’t want to ruin that moment. Instead, he kept close–just so they could hear each other better over the loud noise. That’s what he wanted to tell himself anyway; When she questioned about whether or not this was work related, he shook his head. “Actually-” he nodded towards the group of guys he left behind at the bar. “–I was dragged out here tonight but since everyone was going to be here, I figured I might as well too.”

Should he mention how he was expecting to see her here too? Or how he was only here because he wanted to be sure that she was going to  be alright? “Tell me you’re not the one driving tonight, if you’re going to be drinking?” he was only teasing, yet he made a mental note not to drink too much incase she needed a designated driver. He shouldn’t be drinking, but maybe he needed the liquid courage? At least around her and he wasn’t sure whether he should call this irony or stupidity. She had the power to make him feel angry, nervous and happy, but in this moment, it was more nervous than anything else. “How about you? Here with friends or on your own?” it was a stupid question, but it was better than just standing there awkwardly. Or maybe standing there in silence would be better? “Let me buy you a drink.” he decided, he’d skip on the awkwardness and just act as if they were friends. Like old times. What was wrong with being friensd with an ex? Nothing right?

Max was already pretty far gone though anyone who knew her wouldn’t expect anything less. Micah would know better than anyone- especially in more recent months. She moved forward slightly, resting her arm on his shoulder she looked at him, light hues darting between his dark eyes “I’m a good girl, Micah, I took a cab here and everything” She was a little too close considering their history and usually she wouldn’t be so carefree about it but with the alcohol in her system, her defense mechanisms were depleted and there she was acting like nothing had ever happened. Her hand absently brushed through his thick curls as she spoke, eyes kept direct contact which in recent memory was something she avoided at all costs “I’m with my ‘friends’ tonight” Max didn't really have friends anymore- the ones she did not really the kind of people one would want as a friend. He would understand what she meant “But I’m just here to have fun- we should dance” It had been a long time since she danced, even at a party like this but maybe a new year could be a new start for her. “You love to dance, remember?”

@maxinewinters

As if he didn’t know the Moonlight Bar and Brewery isn’t where she was going to be. Perks of having a private investigator for a father yeah? Alright, that and after the shooting he did kind of use his own methods to keep an eye on her. One he’d prefer if she didn’t know about due to obvious reasons; It was hard to get a hold of her, especially after the incident, and he respected her enough to give her that space, but the more he did so, the more he felt like she was slipping out of his reach. Fortunately he did have other things to work up, but more than that he needed to see her. Talk to her; And tonight, minutes before the ball would drop, he was laughing along with the guys from work while his eyes scanned the bar for her. 

She’d be here, or she was here, either way, he was going to find her and talk to her. A joke about something was being passed around, but Micah couldn’t find himself to laugh along with it. Instead as he searched the bar for the familiar face, he was greeted with familiar faces except for her own. Disappointment was setting in, if it were for the fact that as the door had swung open, a few people had entered. It was then that he saw the familiar pair of eye she was trying to look for all night. 

She was heading to the bar, and after excusing himself from the guys he called the bartender over for a couple of beers before heading towards Max’s direction. A beer held in each hand, he pushed past the crowd until he approached her and rather than meeting her with the usual snark he would, he just smiled. “Hey, glad I saw you before the clock struck twelve.” Honestly, it was just good to see her in general. Finally seeing her walking, and being out–sure she should have been staying in, but it’s not as if she’d listen, so it was just good to see her. Out of harm’s way–he hoped.

Maxine’s life had been a little less chaotic than normal since the shooting. She kept herself safe- allowed her body to heal but there was no way in hell she was going to miss one of the most magical nights of the year. Especially since she was completely and totally through with her medications and was able to get back out there and do what she did best once again. Life had been too quiet for too long but with that came the absence of a certain boy she had no desire to see since the awkward encounter they had with each other after the shooting. 

She knew he would be there that night, almost everyone in town was there so it only made sense that on occasion she had seen his face in the crowd. Max was already drunk- barely a care in the world- dancing with nearly anyone who decided to dance with her. The year was almost through and the cares she had were going to be left behind. At least, that was the plan.

Pushing through the crowd, Max made her way to the counter to get yet another drink. Something she probably didn’t need but it had been a while since she went hard. She deserved this. “Rum and coke” she nearly had to yell at the bartender for him to be able to hear it. It would take a minute before the drink was ready. The bar was packed, after all- the people who were stuck working were. Turning to face the party while her drink was prepared, Max was greeted with a familiar face. It took everything inside her not to roll her eyes as he leaned in so she could hear what he was saying to her “Crazy year, huh?” after everything he had done for her the least she could be was civil. She was drunk and maybe a little nostalgic and maybe the tiniest part of her missed him “This isn’t your usual scene- work?”