Agent Payne

Thank goodness the holiday season is almost over. I’ve been locked away in my room trying to avoid this jolly fest as much as I could. I don’t know how much more I can take but what I can tell you is that I’m one Christmas song away from fighting someone.

Dude! That’s because you haven’t heard the right Christmas song. No worries, I don’t think they’ll play them anymore though. Be ready for lovey dovey stuff after New Years though, just saying.

Every year I forget how much harder it suddenly is to find midnight snacks when the rest of you go home for the holidays. It’s like everything closes four hours earlier just because ASU’s not in session, you’d think that other people in this city get hungry at weird hours, too. But anyway, if you’re in town and you wanna feed me, you could give Venus and Buffy a run for their money as my best friends. And if you’re not in town but you got some life hacks on how to save my rumbling stomach right about now – well hey, I’m all ears for that, too. 

This is why you have to stock up, Vitani. I have a section in my dorm room just for snacks...not even Noa knows about it and he's my roommate. It's all the best snacks ever and drinks for this particular reason. Well that and sometimes a guy gets too lazy to go out and find his own food. I'd be willing to share but you'll have to come up with the next epic adventure we will go on.

I can’t believe Christmas is over with and New Years Eve is tomorrow. Feels like just yesterday we just had Thanksgiving. How was everyone else Christmas? Anyone got any New Years resolutions ready?

That just means more parties, you know what they say time flies fast when you’re having an epic time...or something like that. Christmas was dope...those ugly sweater parties are such a great time. It’s hilarious. My New Years resolutions are to keep being me. Start getting more wild but keeping it safe. How about yours?

You know what’s mcfucking stupid? Sharing my birthday with New Year’s Eve. I don’t know why you guys act like something dumb like a new year is better than the birth of a Zevon, but hey, have fun being lameazoids.

I don’t know man, because New Years has never called us ‘lameazoids’. Dude what does that even mean? Anyways you can always tag along, I’m sure they will include your birthday as well. Unless you’re pulling on of your pranks on them, then that’s a big maybe.

So, as one of Auradon’s self-proclaimed party experts, I’d like to give you guys some advice for the new year: 

I thought Bash was the party expert around here? I mean I won't lie your make a few good valid points there, except the New Years resolution part. Some people aren't as adventurous as us, but that's okay. As long as they do something they have never done before that's all that matters right?