All-American, a play in one act
JANE enters through the revolving door, exasperated and wearing blue jeans and a red shirt.
JOE: Jane, I was wondering if you'd be in today.
JANE: I have an emergency. You need to help me out, please. Well, let's just say my mom is in town and I'm in dire need of a certain something...
*Long pause*
JOE: I saved the last slice of pecan pie for you especially.
JANE: Thank you thank you thank you. And I really need a coffee chaser.
JOE: Anything for you, Jane. Oh, look, here enters Jerry.
*JERRY enters*
JOE: Hi Jerry. How goes the big job?
JERRY: We can talk later, Joe, I gotta get a slice of pastrami.
JANE: *Furrows brow and puts hands on hips* Jerry, you had pastrami yesterday.
*Long pause* *Joe blinks nervously* *Somewhere in the distance a dog barks*
JERRY: What can I say, I'm a hog for that pastrami.
*Joe and Jane laugh*
JOE: Okay, one pastrami slice to go. *Points at Jerry* But if you go three days in a row you at least gotta try the tuna melt I've been working on.
JERRY: *Long laugh*
JANE: Is this the one with the top secret special formula?
JOE: *Puts hands on hips* If I told you the recipe, I'd have to kill you, and that would mean no more pecan pie!
*Long pause* Hey, Jim!
JIM: *Peeking from around the kitchen* What, Joe?
JOE: How long until that pot roast is ready?
JIM: Probably another 30 hours or so, Joe.
JOE: Well, shoot. Oh, and I need an order made, I need a pastrami, a large mug of hot coffee, and a slice of pecan pie.
JANE: And a hot dog?
JERRY: *Looking at watch* Isn't it a little early to get your dog on, Jane?
*JANE Laughs violently* *Joe takes his baseball cap off and wipes his forehead with it*
JOE: JIM?
JIM: What?
JOE: Okay, I need a pastrami, a large mug of hot coffee, a slice of pecan pie, and a fresh hot dog.
JIM: Okay.
JOE: I don't know what I'm gonna do with you two.
JERRY and JANE simultaneously: We love your food Joe. Thank you so much.
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