I have only ever been in 2 relationships in my 24 years of living. Each one had moments that made me feel as though it was truly a romantic relationship. Even thogh the end was sour, the ride along the way was sweet.
My first ever relationship was in Highschool. I was about 16 and was known as the jokester. I never expected anyone to be smitten by me cuz I never liked to think I was cute enough for that attention. The way I looked and act didn't feel right in my mind for someone else to look at me and say 'wow, I wanna ask her out.' And yet here he was, asking me out on a Band trip.
I decided why not? He was a good friend and someone who made me laugh. He even had glasses, which I am always attracted to. Anyways, the thing that stuck with me all these years was our little gimmick. I'm not sure if my future relationships will have one, but I'm hoping so. Everytime one of us would say 'What can you do?' the other would say 'What it do, 42.' I can't remember for the life of me why we started that but I remember how much I loved it. It was something that was ours. Obviously things ended fairly quickly, about 6 months in. I wouldn't date another person until 4 years later.
For the second relationship, there is something you need to know. First of all, we had met years ago at a band competition. About the same time my first relationship ended, funny enough. We weren't flirty, but we did exchange phone numbers. And through the years we would randomly send silly memes to one another. Until one day he messaged that he was near the area and wanted to hangout.
I'd be lying if I said I wasnt a nervous wreck. A man I hadn't seen in almost 4 years suddenly wants to hang? But I decided to meetup. It would be interesting to catch up and see what he had been up to. When we met for the 2nd time in our life's, it felt awkward but weirdly comforting. We hungout for about 6 hours together before I had to head home. And that's what started it all. He was easy to talk with and I felt comfortable being my balls-to-the-walls self with him. And he had glasses, those damn cute glasses.
Our first six months he would always did something that scared the crap outta me. He would do spontaneous trust falls. And when I tell you everytime I was breathless when he did it, I swear I think I learned a lot of breathing techniques because I would hyperventilate so much (just kidding... Sorta)
The reason it scared the hell outta me was because I was worried I wouldn't be there one of those days. That one day I would be busy with something else and he would fall and hurt himself. I never wanted to let him down or ever let him feel I wouldn't be there. Because even though it scared me, I was also really happy. Happy that he would trust me like that, at least that is how I want to see it. Though, maybe I should have tried to do a trust fall with him. Maybe that would have helped me in the future when I figured out I couldn't trust him fully? It's still a sensitive memory but I know that I appreciate that I had something with him.
I needed to write this, and I just wanna know if anyone else has these memories of their ex? Or even their Significant Others right now. I didn't mention one because we were never official but he and I had a few memories that make me smile. And while things are different, I do appreciate those moments with each of them.
I'll always look back at those bittersweet memories with a tender smile.
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