MJ.

Hey little one,

I wish u were proud of me at least maybe at some point. We have been through a lot. I'm sorry, I couldn't protect u. I failed u. I hope u cherish everything u have there. I don't know how to tell u this but we were very sad and lonely here. We've been used, played with and laughed at by the people we loved. Ironic, huh? Everything we never wanted to lose, is always lost. Believe it or not we already died. August 4, 2025 is the day we died. No one notices because there's no body, no blood but we did die. We're not supposed to be here this long anyway, so i guess that's it, right?

U know what, we were once excited about our future. We once said that we will never have a child, but we almost did! And we were so happy about it. We already have picked out a name. We're excited to have a family of our own. We are closer to God than before. We always call for Him and we're very very grateful. Those were the days, the happiest we've ever been! We're genuinely happy there, Mau. Really really happy. For the first time ever, we were excited for the future. YOU. ME. US! Those days, we were full of love. Excited to wake up, thankful to have woken up. Truly, truly happy.

Well, I guess so much for being happy. That only lasted 3 months. What a joke right? I'm sorry. I should've known. I should've learned the pattern. From the very beginning we weren't allowed to be happy. We weren't allowed to look forward to the future. I'm sorry, I got our hopes up. I thought that this will be our time. That finally, after waiting and waiting and waiting, this will be our turn. Our turn to experience all the good in life. Maybe not all the good but at least some of the good in life, but NO.

We fall into our lowest, my dear girl. We stopped believing in Him. We got tired of all the lessons and just accepted that we are a filter. That's our job. To filter the bad so that the good can come to others. We're full of anger and hatred here.

I'm sorry, little one. I am not the one who you wanted to become. I tried to kill myself. I overdosed on antidepressants, cut my wrists, starved, and didn't sleep. My plan is to take me out of the game. I hope one day, you'll find in your heart to understand why I did all of this. I'm just tired of everything. Maybe life isn't for us? Maybe we're here as pawns for other people's happiness. Well maybe at some point at least we're useful.

Please do not rush to grow up. Please cherish all the smiles u have, my dear one. Cause when you're here all the goodness, kindness and genuine smiles we have will be long gone.

Love,