Court

Welcome to my master list! All of my works will also be posted to my Wattpad account (mattyriddlegf)

*= smut/NSFW

Mattheo Riddle oneshots

-Ravenclaw Distraction *

-Bonnie and Clyde (Halloween)

-New Year's Kiss (New Years Eve)

Nicholas Alexander Chavez oneshots

-Red Carpet

Series

The Stupid Closet series* | M.R.

Starry Sky series | M.R.

(chapters marked with * will include smut)

(Edited by my beautiful friend @littlesheck925 🤍)

Happy release day (even though it’s not Sunday and it’s way late lol)! I appreciate all of the love and support I’ve received for this series, I can’t believe it’s over!

I’m trying very hard to get your more stories and content in the future but I’m also balancing school and multiple jobs so please be patient with me!

Enjoy!

—————

“He did what?” Ginny asks, sitting up on her bed.

Ginny and Hermione look at each other before looking back at you.

“He seemed in a hurry but he didn’t tell me what he wanted, I figured after potions-” Hermione explains.

“What happened in potions?” Ginny questions.

“Mattheo punched some fifth year” Hermione shrugs and then turns to you, “what did happen after you two left though?”

“Uh-” you hesitate, “not much, it was just…I don’t know, it was nice to be alone with him like that again”

Ginny raises her eyebrows and looks away as she smirks.

“What?” you ask them, waiting for an explanation.

“You still love him,” Hermione insists.

“It doesn’t matter” you shrug, pursing your lips.

“Mattheo literally just poured his soul out to you, he definitely loves you” Ginny says before adding, “that had to have been really hard for him to do.”

Ginny’s statement sticks in your mind that night, preventing you from going to sleep at a decent time and then swirls in all of your thoughts the following day. You stay distracted even during classes. Mattheo’s confession mixed with Ginny’s statement made for a long day.

Slytherin plays Gryffindor today in the last quidditch match of the year, the cold wind making everyone’s cheeks turn rosy red.

“Have you talked to him?” Ginny asks, bundled up in thick layers.

You don’t respond, instead just shaking your head. You had gotten up painfully early and decided to go up to the astronomy tower to see the sunrise. A large part of you was hoping that Mattheo would come up there but he hadn’t by the time you had to leave to go get breakfast.

He hadn’t been at breakfast either which was a little weird but you see him on the quidditch pitch ready to play, easing the small amount of worry in your gut.

The match starts while you sit with Ginny, Hermione, and Luna. Luna, being the little kooky she is, told you that she saw Mattheo leave the castle this morning and not come back until right before the match.

“It’s particularly odd that he was gone so long,” she said.

You don’t respond but during the entire match, you wonder where he could’ve gone to and why. He didn’t owe you an explanation or anything considering the last time you two talked, he confessed his love for you but you still want to know.

You want to know everything about him.

As soon as the match ends with Harry catching the snitch just before Draco, the three of you hurry back into the Gryffindor house, going straight up to your dorm. You decided that the guys could catch up with you guys to celebrate later, you just wanted to get inside to warm up.

As you walk up the stairs to the dorms, you pull off your coat, stripping down to just a long sleeve and jeans.

Ginny and Hermione follow you as you run into the dorm, instantly seeing a small black velvet box and a note lying on your bed. You stop in your tracks, Ginny bumping into you, causing Hermione to bump into her.

You stare at the box before moving your glance to the note next to it, addressed ‘Sidra’. It was from Mattheo.

Ginny and Hermione both stay back as you walk slowly up to your bed and grab the note first. As you unfold it, you see Mattheo’s handwriting.

‘I know it’s not the same but your father is always with you, no matter what. He loves you just like I do. -M.’

Your brows furrow as you set the note aside and pick up the velvet box, opening it to reveal a necklace, exactly like the one you lost. Exactly like the one your father had given you before he died.

You hold your eye up to it, the sight of Venus showing. The only difference you notice as you move it in your hands is an engraving on the back with your nickname ‘Sidra’.

Ginny and Hermione walk up and read the note as you stand there, stunned, unsure what to do.

“Oh my god.” Ginny exclaims, her jaw dropping.

She hands you the note as you look over to them. They smile at you before you leave the dorm without another word, heading straight for the slytherin house.

As you reach the corridors, Theo is standing there talking to a girl when he looks up and sees you.

“Bellissima!” he says as you walk up to him.

“Have you seen mattheo?” you ask out of breath.

“He’s probably still in the quidditch locker room, he always takes forever” he explains.

“Okay, thanks” you say, immediately turning on your heels to head out there.

“It's cold out!” he shouts down the hall until you wave him off. You hear a laugh ring out as you turn the corner.

You reach the locker room, a few random people straggling outside but overall pretty empty.

You push through the tent entrance, Mattheo facing the other way, just sitting there.

You pretend to cough, catching his attention. He turns around and as soon as he sees you, he stands up.

Without a word, you go up to him and crash your lips on his. It only took him a second to reciprocate, wrapping you in his arms as your arms found his curly, sweaty hair. The kiss is sloppy and fast, the two of you touching every part of each other like you’ve been waiting for this to happen your whole life.

When you come up for air, you say, “I can’t believe you did this”

You pull the box and the note out of your back jeans pocket and hold it up for him to see.

“I know how much it meant to you” he shrugs nonchalantly but he lets a smile creep onto his face.

“Do you know how much you mean to me?”

He doesn’t respond right away, instead grabbing the box out of your hand and taking the necklace out. You turn around and hold your hair up as he puts the necklace around your neck.

His touch sends a chill through your entire body despite the cold, causing you to shiver.

As you turn back around, he takes off his sweatshirt and hands it to you. As you pull it over your head, he starts, “I think I’ve loved you ever since you bossed me around on the first day of potions, I was just too scared to admit it”

“Mattheo-”

“I know I really fucked up but I wasn’t lying the other day when I said hooking up with you meant a lot to me. It was the first time…” he hesitates, “the first time I actually cared. I didn’t want you to leave that night and as soon as I woke up the next day, I wanted you to be there.”

“You were my first” you shrug, “and it was hard to feel like I was just one of your many. I thought you didn’t care”

“I’m so sorry” he says, pulling you into him. You melt into his arms, letting all of the emotions you’ve felt since the beginning of the school year out.

“I love you” you say while tears wet Mattheo’s shirt, him not letting you go at all but rather his grip tightening, squeezing you just a bit instead.

“I love you” he returns, “I’m not leaving ever again”

You back away and before you can wipe your tears with the sleeve of Mattheo’s sweatshirt, he does it for you with his thumbs.

“Smile for me?” he asks, looking at you with his big brown doe eyes.

You smile for him, just like you did the other day but this time it was genuine, real.

“There she is, that's my girl” he smiles back, “you good?”

“I’m good” you nod your head, still being held by his hands.

It hadn’t happened the way you wanted it to but honestly? You wouldn’t trade any of it for something else. You wanted something different, something new and you had gotten something even better. Your love and your friends.

You and Mattheo go outside that night, bundled up in coats, to sit near the willow tree. It was a cold, clear night, the stars all showing in the sky.

“I spent a lot of time out here the past few weeks” you say, looking at Mattheo.

“And?” he looks back, “what do you think?”

“Not a single one was this starry” you look up to the sky, seeing all of the constellations.

“I love you Sidra”

“Love you matty”

I am so sorry I have not uploaded the last chapter of Starry Sky and that I have not been active. Firstly, my schedule has been overwhelming lately to say the least.

Secondly, I haven’t written anything for tumblr after Starry Sky and I’ve been feeling guilty about it. I love Mattheo + the HP world so much and want to write more but just haven’t lately.

Happy release day Sunday! It's finals week for me and then I'm done with the semester yay!!!! Next week is the LAST chapter of this story, I cannot believe it! Enjoy :)

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“I think I’m ready to go,” you say.

Your left side is still touching his right side and his hand is still on your knee. Somehow, you’ve sort of melted into him. You pull away and stand up, feeling the disconnect.

He stands up after you and walks up to you, grabbing both sides of your face. He uses his thumb to caress your cheeks, wiping the drying tears off.

You don't dare look away as he says, “smile”

You give him a fake toothy smile and close your eyes, his hands remaining on your face in the process.

“There she is” he smiles, “you look good”

The smile disappears, leaving you staring at him for a second before stating, “come on”

You close your fathers old office door, flicking a quick charm to lock it back up.

“You don’t have to go back with me…” you trail off.

“I want to.” He states. You knew by the look on his face that he wasn’t going anywhere, at least not yet.

You roll your eyes but don’t protest as he starts to follow you back to the Gryffindor house. 

The fat lady opens when you say the password, your friends all standing in the common room. They instantly look towards the entrance and see you, walking up to you and Mattheo.

“Are you okay?” Ginny asks as she hugs you.

“I’m fine” you say, wiping your face that now had drying tears.

Mattheo stands there, not saying anything, letting you have a moment with your friends.

Harry turns toward him and says, “can we talk?”

Mattheo’s glance turns to you for a second before looking back to him, “uh, sure”

You watch them walk off, far away enough to have a private conversation without you hearing anything.

“I know we don’t get along all that much but I’ve been thinking about it for a while” Harry pauses and looks at Mattheo before continuing, “she isn’t sad just because you broke her heart, but because she lost her best friend.”

He continues, “she lost you and she never imagined losing the one person who understood her that quickly.”

“But she has you guys…” he shakes his head, rejecting Harry’s statement.

“It’s not the same.” Harry shifts his weight, “Look, I’ve known her since year one here and I’ve never seen her like she has been with you this year. There’s something different about her, she’s…it’s like her dad is back.”

Mattheo’s face contorts when Harry says this, the statement leaving a burning sensation in his heart.

“I really fucked up” he admits.

“For what it’s worth, I think you’ll find a way to make it up to her” Harry smiles pitifully before walking back to the Gryffindor house, leaving Mattheo alone. 

You’re still standing outside on the stairs, staring at Mattheo. He looks at you longingly before leaving.

“What did you say?” you ask Harry as the two of you walk in.

“I just thanked him,” he shrugs, not really giving you an answer. 

The next few days of class are spent looking for your necklace anywhere it could’ve possibly dropped. Nothing is found, which saddens you more and diminishes your hope by the end of the school week.

It’s Friday as you sit down in potions class next to Hermione. Mattheo is doodling in his notebook, silent and alone as always when his ravenclaw partner walks up to their shared table and starts yelling at him.

You watch closely as Mattheo stays silent with his jaw clenched, his dead eyes in full action.

“Is this why that cute little Gryffindor girl switched partners? Did you drive her away too?” Upon hearing the mention of you, Mattheo stands up, swinging his right fist at the kid's face.

The Gryffindor holds his nose, now dripping blood, “what the fuck?”

Mattheo starts on him again when you spring up from your chair, reaching him before he can hit the ravenclaw again.

You settle your hand on his chest and look up into his eyes, “Matt.”

He takes big deep breaths, full of adrenaline as he looks at you.

You grab his hand to look at it, his knuckles bruised and bloody. This isn’t the first punch he’s thrown lately.

You hold it up for him to see, “we have to clean this up”

His glance moves to the ravenclaw holding his bloody nose before it moves back to you, “fine.”

He walks out of your grasp and leaves the room, everyone around you watching.

Hermione has her eyebrows furrowed out of concern, “I’ll tell Snape, you go”

“Thank you” you smile politely before practically running out of the classroom to catch up with Mattheo.

“Matt slow down” you say as you run up to him.

“I’m sorry” he says, tears in his eyes.

Instantly, your eyebrows furrow. You had never seen Mattheo cry, you suspected it takes a lot for him to show emotions in front of anyone.

“Come on” you grab his left hand and pull him into the girls bathroom for more privacy and to clean off his hand.

You grab a cloth and wet it before you start wiping at his bloody knuckle. You look up at him, tears still in his eyes, “I’m feeling deja vu”

“We’ve been here before huh?” he says softly.

You look at him for another moment before you look away, back down at his hand, “he wasn’t worth it, you know”

“I know,” he responds, “thank you…for stopping me.”

“Always.” you respond simply. You tilt your head, concentrating on cleaning his wound but you can feel his stare on you.

“All done” you set the wet cloth down on the sink and finally reciprocate eye contact.

“Have you found your-”

“No.” you respond, shaking your head.

He looks at you softly, a complete change than in the classroom, “I’m sorry”

“It’s fine, there’s nothing you can do about it so…” you trail off shrugging, deep down still hurting over it. It felt like one of the last few pieces you had left of your father.

“We should get back” you say, smiling fakely before walking out of the bathroom and back into the potions classroom, Mattheo following behind you. 

The ravenclaw is gone, most likely seeing Madam Pomfrey in the infirmary, leaving Mattheo with no partner for the class.

Throughout Snape's lecture, you can feel Mattheo staring at you, you don’t dare look back. 

After class finishes, you and Hermione head back to your dorm but Hermione leaves almost immediately, going to the library to scout out a new book to read.

You decide to fold a load of clean laundry that you’ve been neglecting for some time, letting it sit in the corner of your side of the room.

You grab your laundry basket and only set it on your bed before you hear a knock at your door, startling you.

You go up and open the door to Mattheo pacing in front of it, “how did you-?”

“Hermione let me in” he says as he walks into your dorm, gliding past you. You shut the door before you turn around.

“What’re you doing here?” you ask, confused as ever.

"Look, I like being alone and I like smoking and drinking and getting into fights but then you came around and I just wanted to be near you. That had never happened to me before and I pushed you away and that wasn't fair to you but I was scared"

"Mattheo-" you start, shaking your head. You couldn't hear this.

"Please let me say this." He begs, staring at you with his big brown doe eyes.

You don't respond, letting him continue.

"I didn't want to like you. I honestly thought you would be this insufferable little brat but you aren't. You're intelligent and soft spoken but you aren't afraid of putting me in my place and you care deeper about everything in your life than I ever have for just one thing..." he  hesitates, "and I love that so much about you."

Tears well up in your eyes but you refuse to let them fall down your cheeks, making your vision blurry.

"I didn't want to like you but I did. And then without me even realizing it, I fell in love with you. When you told me you loved me, I panicked. Nobody has ever loved me in my entire life and-" he stops.

"and?" you question, wanting him to finish.

"and I didn't know what it felt like. I didn't believe that it could happen to me. Especially from someone like you."

"Matty" you pout breathless.

"I'm sorry" He says plainly, watching you closely, "I just-"

"stop. Please stop. I can't hear this" you plead with him, " you didn't want me, you completely shut me out" you're full on sobbing at this point.

You continue, "I don't just sleep with anyone"

"I know," he says, his voice low.

"it meant a lot to me and-"

"I know." He interrupts, "it did to me too."

The two of you stare at each other for what feels like eternity until your cries become quieter. You want to forgive him so bad but you didn't want to hurt like that again...hell you're still hurting from it.

"I want to believe you..." you trail off.

"Then believe me." he repeats in a soft voice.

"I don't know if I can" you say, shrugging, "at least not yet"

He purses his lips and slowly nods his head after you give your response, like he’s trying to accept it.

"I'm sorry." he says like he's pleading, begging for you to forgive him and fall into his arms.

You wipe the tears on your cheeks as he looks at you one last time before leaving.

Happy release day Sunday and happy Thanksgiving weekend! I cannot believe this but there are only TWO chapters left after this one! I really appreciate all of the love and support you've given this story.

Enjoy!

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For as long as you can remember, your most favorite possession in the whole world has been the necklace that your father gifted you. Not only was it so perfectly you but it always made you feel closer to him and was the last piece of him you had with you.

You reach for it while reading in the Gryffindor common room only to notice it's not there. The necklace is missing.

It’s early in the morning, before anyone else is up as you go back into your dorm and frantically search for the necklace, hoping it's hidden in your sheets or in the bathroom.

It can’t be gone. You had worn it every day since the day he gifted it to you and never once has it come off. You feel an emptiness settling in your stomach as you continue to ransack your area of the room.

Tears start to well up in your eyes when it doesn’t turn up, giving you the most aching pain in your stomach. 

—---------

“Where could she be? She was gone when we got up and she didn’t show up at breakfast…” Hermione trails off, telling Ron, Dean, and Harry the situation.

“Maybe she’s out by that stupid willow tree she loves,” Ron mentions. 

“We’ve already checked there and the library. She’s not there.” Ginny mentioned.

“Something’s wrong.” Harry says, catching the attention of everyone, “I can feel it, she wouldn’t disappear like this.”

The air is silent as everyone tries to think of a solution, wondering where you could possibly be.

“ I have an idea.” Ginny says but pauses, “but none of you are gonna like it…hell I don’t even like it.”

“What is it?” Dean asks.

Ginny looks around at the others before sighing and finally admitting, “Mattheo would know where she is.”

“No way, he broke her heart” Hermione immediately protests.

“Listen, if I had a better idea, I’d give it but Riddle was around her more than any of us this year. He probably knows her better than anyone.” Ginny defends her suggestion.

“She’s right.” Harry admits, “she ran into him last week and all I know is that when she came back, she was completely disoriented. She clearly still loves the guy.”

“So we just ask the dark lord’s son for help?” Ron asks, irritated.

“We don’t exactly have a choice, do we?” Ginny snaps at him.

“Alright fine, but who’s going to ask him? I’ll sock him if I see him so…”

“I’ll do it. Alone.” Ginny looks between the rest of the group as they nod reluctantly.

“He was in the great hall when I checked in there.” Hermione mentions quietly, motioning her to go.

Ginny starts walking away until Dean’s voice stops her in her tracks, “are you sure about this?”

She looks back before responding with a simple, “yes.” She turns back around and leaves the Gryffindor house, heading straight for the great hall.

When she reaches it, she opens the doors to find Mattheo sitting at the slytherin table among his friends, drawing in a notebook.

Without second guessing, she walks up to him. Every single person at that table goes quiet, looking at her as Mattheo turns around to look.

“Can we talk?” She asks before looking around the table and then back at Mattheo, “privately?”

“Uh…sure.” he responds clearly confused.

As he gets up from the table, Ginny walks back out of the great hall, back into the quiet, secluded hallway.

Mattheo asks, “what’s going on?”

“We can’t find her. “Ginny states quietly, in an urgent manner.

“What do you mean you can’t find her?”

She rolls her eyes, “as in she’s been missing all day and we don’t know where she went.”

He furrows his eyebrows, his entire expression changing to worry.

“We checked in here, the library, outside, anywhere we could think of.” Ginny continues, “look you’re not my favorite person but I’ve run out of options and…I have a feeling you know her better than any of us.”

He purses his lips thinking it over for a second before he finally responds, “I think I know where she could be but…I need to do this alone.”

Ginny squints her eyes, unsure at first, but realizing that he’s right. He should do this alone.

“Alright, fine.” Ginny nods, signaling Mattheo to go.

He starts to walk but Ginny says one last thing before he leaves, “she still loves you even if she says she doesn’t.”

Mattheo’s face twitches ever so slightly before he nods and takes off.

He immediately jogs towards the astronomy tower, thinking you are up there. You always go there for fresh air and the two of you had shared lots of…moments up there.

As Mattheo gets closer to the ladder, he notices the door of your father’s office slightly ajar. Nobody else would probably notice but he does, noting the quiet sobs coming from inside.

He pushes the door open slowly, careful not to make any noise but the creak betraying him.

“Go away.” you say in tears, not bothering to look up. It doesn’t matter who it is, you don’t want to see anyone right now.

“I’m not leaving.” Mattheo's voice rings in the air.

You look up, separating your head from the rest of your body crouched together, “what are you doing here?”

“What happened?” he asks as he walks up to you, ignoring your question.

He sits down next to you, his right leg touching yours. The closeness would normally alarm you but you couldn’t focus on it at the moment.

“I lost my necklace.” You say shakily, “you shouldn’t be here.”

“I am here as long as you are.” He rests his hand on your knee.

“Why are you even here in the first place?” You ask, a cold tone slipping out.

“What, I can’t be there for a friend?”

“We’re not friends.” You interject, “not anymore.

He takes a minute. The comment stung but he didn’t show it before he responds, “Ginny asked me to find you”

“And how did you find me?”

He looks into your eyes and shrugs, “because I know you better than anyone else”

The silence hangs in the air, the two of you just looking at each other. It felt so nice to pretend like the falling out had never happened and that the two of you were still the best of friends. But it did happen. You weren’t friends anymore.

“Yeah well, I wish you didn’t.” 

It was the truth but it felt more harsh now saying it out loud. 

He doesn’t respond right away but you can sense his demeanor change, affected by the statement.

“I deserve that I guess” he says quietly and looks down at his rings, pouting, “I’m sorry you lost your necklace, I know how much it meant to you”

You turn your head away, letting tears fall down your cheeks silently until he grabs your chin and turns back towards him, “I’m sorry.”

It felt like he was apologizing for more, at least you were hoping he was but it wasn’t enough. Your heart was broken more today because of the necklace, but it had been broken already.

“Why are you here?” you ask again.

“I already told you-”

“That Ginny sent you, yeah I know…but what’s the real reason?”

He doesn’t respond, but now he couldn’t quite meet your eyes anymore.

“Why can’t you just admit it, Mattheo?” you shake your head, asking him barely above a whisper.

“I got a letter from my mum…in Azkaban” he states, changing the topic once again.

You don’t respond, just looking between his eyes, waiting for him to continue.

“and I got into a fight with Theo.” He looks away, “everything is just shit right now”

“you don’t say…” you trail off, thinking of how your life has gone back to nothing the past few weeks. The air is quiet, signaling another lull in conversation. This didn't happen between you two.

“I’m proud of you for coming in here…” he pauses, “I know how hard it was for you.”

You look him in the eye, eyebrows squinted, “thank you. I didn’t know where else to go”

Mattheo’s face twitches with pain after you admit it. He knows that if you were still close, you would have gone to him.

Hi everyone! I'm sorry I missed another week, school is super tough right now lol! I hope you enjoy this one <3

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You let everything that's happened in the last few days slip out, starting with the kiss that broke you and Dean up all the way until you walked into the room tonight. Despite Dean knowing, you’ve been holding everything inside and it was taking a toll on you.

“You slept with him at the party?” Hermione asks.

“You told him you loved him?” Ginny asks simultaneously.

You just nod, feeling like you’re out of words for the moment.

“I knew something was up in class today but I didn’t want to say anything because well…” Hermione trails off.

“Because I've been a bitch” you say in a whisper.

“You have…but we didn’t know that you were full on in love with the guy” Ginny adds. Leave it to her to be blunt.

“I feel so stupid” you cover your face with your hands, suddenly embarrassed, “you guys warned me and I didn’t listen”

“We didn’t want to be right.” Hermione says as she walks up and hugs you, letting you cry up against her.

This wasn’t supposed to be the way that it goes. None of this feels right.

The three of you hear a knock at the door.

“That’s probably Harry and Ron.” Ginny says. She looks over at you as if she’s asking a question.

“You can let them in,” you say shakily, nodding your head.

She walks up to the door and opens it slightly, “hey guys just…be gentle.”

She opens the door all the way and instantly, the guys see you and are worried.

“What’s going on?” Ron asks.

“She told Mattheo that she loved him and he broke her heart.” Hermione recaps, conveniently leaving out the sleeping with him part, thank god.

More tears leave as Harry pulls you in for a hug, Ron right next to you.

The room is quite silent for a while until Ginny checks her watch, “guys it’s time for dinner”

“You guys can go, I’m gonna stay here” you say, looking around at the group.

“We don’t have to go…” Harry offers. Ron offers a funny look but Hermione pinches him forcing an ‘ow’.

“Seriously, I’m fine.” you try to smile but it looks forced. Your friends offer one more look of pity before leaving to head to the great hall, leaving you alone again.

You could’ve dealt with Mattheo rejecting you and going back to just friends but to completely lose him? That’s not something you were bargaining for. But to be completely truthful, there really is no way to go back to ‘just friends’ with him. You honestly weren’t even sure if you had ever truly been just friends with him, it had always felt like something more.,

Not now. Your thoughts say, bringing your insecurities to the surface, something that had not happened since before you met Mattheo.

Did he not want you because of the sex you two had? Were you bad or just inexperienced? Maybe that was it…he did have a reputation and maybe you weren’t good enough for him.

You’ve never been good enough.

These thoughts drown your brain, forcing you to spiral into a state of seclusion and isolation.

The following weeks are all the same, you avoiding Mattheo and basically everyone else in the world. You and your friends had made up but they were constantly trying to cheer you up and keep you busy. You appreciate their efforts but it isn’t going to change anything.

You go back to the same routine as you always have in the past. Studying, reading, eating, and sleeping. Nothing new, nothing different anymore.

You’ve seen a few glances of Mattheo here and there throughout the last couple weeks and everytime it feels like you were stabbed through the heart.

“Are you okay?” Harry asks, breaking your train of thoughts.

You look away from the book in front of you finally, “sure”

“Look, I know you really liked the guy but you can’t keep going on like this…” he trails off.

Earlier today, you had seen a girl hanging all over Mattheo in the great hall, it was the first girl you’ve seen with him since…you.

“I’m fine, really. I just wasn’t expecting to see him like that yet.” you shake your head, trying to convince him.

“I know things didn’t go the way you wanted but try to think about how your life was before you knew him”

You zone out for a second before responding, “that's the thing…I didn’t love who I was before him.”

Harry’s eyebrows furrow out of concern. This is how every conversation has gone- your friends trying to cheer you up and you completely shutting them down. Every argument they made, you had a comeback for it.

“I’ll be right back, I have to go to the bathroom” you say quietly before standing up and walking out of the library without another word.

You walk through the castle, staring at your ring as you fidget with it until you run directly into someone. Instantly, you recognize the hands that grab your arms and the scent that wafts into your nose.

“Hi” you say breathless.

“Hi” Mattheo responds, steadying you.

“I uh- I saw that girl with you earlier” you admit, immediately regretting it.

“April doesn’t matter, she’s just too touchy for her own good” He takes a moment to look at you before adding, “I’m not with her.”

“Well you’re allowed to do whatever you want so-” you stop.

“Sidra-”

“Mattheo.” The use of your nickname pulled at your heartstrings for a single second before you realize you need to stand strong.

Mattheo sighs, his hands dropping from your arms reluctantly. “You look tired,” he says, almost like an apology.

You cross your arms, more to hold yourself together than anything else. “Yeah well I haven’t slept much lately”

A long silence settles between you. For a moment, neither of you speaks. You just stand there, in the middle of the corridor that once felt like the center of your world. His eyes are softer now—full of something you don’t want to name. Regret? Guilt? Longing?

It’s not like small talk works when someone’s broken your heart.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you,” you say, more to fill the silence than anything else.

“I wasn’t expecting to run into you either.”

You almost laugh at that. Of all the places in the castle, of all the times—now? When you were barely holding it together?

There’s a pause where it feels like he might say something important—like there’s something he wants to ask or explain. But it never comes. Instead, he just looks at you like you’re a memory he doesn’t know how to forget.

“Anyway…” you say, voice too sharp, too final. You can’t do this. Not today. Not yet.

“Right. I should…” He gestures vaguely behind him, though it’s unclear where he was even going in the first place.

You nod and start to walk past him. You don’t look back. But you hear it, barely above a whisper:

“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

You stop in your tracks for half a second, breath caught in your throat. But you don’t turn around. You just keep walking—heart pounding, chest tight—leaving the words and Mattheo behind you in the corridor.

Because whatever that moment was supposed to be… it wasn’t enough.

You don’t even go to the bathroom, directly beelining back to the library. You sit down by Harry when he instantly notices something is wrong.

“You look like you just saw a ghost…” He looks at you with concern.

He was right— it had felt like you were talking to a ghost, not to Mattheo. It was so…disconnected.

Happy double release day Sunday ;) enjoy!

----------

You sit in history of magic class, bored out of your mind. Potions was next and you were hoping you’d be able to talk to Mattheo even if he’s already switched partners so your anxiousness was getting to you. Plus, Professor Binns is incredibly dull.

He passes out the graded exams from last week on famous and historical duels, setting your paper down firmly. On it, you find a D…dreadful. You had just failed the test.

You flip your paper over before anyone else can see it. You never receive dreadful’s on exams, this isn’t like you at all.

You sulk a little more, still trying to listen to the rest of the lecture before being dismissed for the last period of the day. Suddenly, you’re reminded of the situation and you almost completely forget about the bad grade.

You walk into the classroom slowly – a lot of the students already at their table. At your normal spot, it’s not Mattheo sitting there but Hermione. Great.

You walk up and sit down before she asks, “why’d we switch?”

“Uh, I guess Snape thinks Mattheo doesn’t need a tutor anymore” you shrug, telling a simple lie.

“But-” she starts before Mattheo walks past your table and heads to where Hermione used to sit.

Snape begins class by assigning a potion for you to concoct before letting you loose to find the ingredients. Hermione starts to get up and go towards the shelves but you notice Mattheo stand up and head there so you grab her arm and stop her, “I’ll go”

“Okay” she says quietly, watching you as you walk up to the shelves next to Mattheo.

“Can we talk?” you ask him quietly, trying to not cause a scene.

He looks at you for a split second but doesn’t respond, continuing to grab what’s needed.

“Mattheo, please? Dean said-” you start

“Dean said?” he snaps.

He walks off before you can even react. Clearly that touched a nerve.

You head back to your table and go through the process of making the potion with Hermione, it surprisingly goes really well between the two of you. You’re not sure if it’s because of the awkward encounter last night but Hermione doesn’t bring up Mattheo at all. It’s still slightly stiff between you two but definitely better.

You walk back to your dorm together, Hermione splitting off to go see Ron. You settle on your bed, starting to work on various homework. When you open your textbook, you’re reminded of the bad grade you received earlier today…the large red D mocking you at the top of the paper.

You set it to the side and start studying, determined to not let that happen again, when you get a knock at your door.

You get off your bed and walk up to the door, opening it to see Dean standing there with his lip bleeding.

“What happened?” you ask, your eyes widening.

“How should I know? Mattheo found me after class, threw a punch, and left!” he exclaims.

“Mattheo did this?” you ask, taken aback.

“Yes. Didn’t even say a single word before he walked away.” he explains.

“Dean I’m so sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with him…” you trail off, shaking your head. You were appalled. You have always known that Mattheo was prone to getting into fights but with Dean? Was this because you mentioned his name while talking to Mattheo in class today?

“I’m gonna go wash it off, I just wanted to let you know.” he smiles pitifully.

You nod, “thanks”. You shut your door as he walks away.

You weren’t sad anymore, you were utterly furious. What the hell was Mattheo thinking?

Luckily you had an idea of where he would be. You could always count on finding him sitting on the bench outside of the potions classroom, near the slytherin house. He always says that it’s quieter than the common room or his dorm.

You make your way back down to the dungeons and as soon as you turn the corner to the correct hallway, you see him reading with his right knuckles slightly red from the apparent punch.

“What is your problem?” you ask, practically shouting as you walk up to him.

“I don’t know what you mean” Mattheo purses his lips, shaking his head but not looking up from his book.

“Dean just came to my room with a busted lip. Care to explain?”

“Did he trip over his ego or something?” He still doesn’t look up.

“He told me you punched him. What the fuck Mattheo?” you yell as you snap his book shut, forcing him to look up at you.

You continue, “you rejected me, remember that? It wasn’t the other way around.”

“I’m aware.” he says with a death stare, finally standing up.

You laugh out of frustration, bringing your hands up to your forehead, “oh my god, this is unbelievable”

“It's cute your boyfriend came crying to you” he says coldly.

“You know damn well we aren’t together.”

“Oh you made that perfectly clear the other night in my dorm” he retorts.

Your eyebrows raise in shock as you take a step back. You feel like your heart has not only been ripped out of your chest but stomped on repeatedly too.

“Fuck you.”

He stares at you with a stone cold expression even as you look back at him.

“You know what?” You’re right. It’s not worth all this. You’re not worth all this.” you continue out of rage, “I have lost everyone I care about, my grades are slipping, I literally have never felt more alone in my entire life!”

You can sense a shift in his demeanor instantly. His eyes soften just slightly and he shifts his weight ever so slightly too.

You almost laugh out of frustration, tears starting to stream down your face, “you were the only person I had left Matt. I defended you to all of my friends and now they hate me.”

“Well maybe your friends were right then.” he says quietly back.

“I guess they were.” you retort back, your energy gone. You stare at each other for a moment, both of you out of breath from yelling, “you said I’m supposed to hate you? Well there you go, you just lost me.”

The air is silent, him just staring at you. Not a cold stare but one that looks like he’s desperately begging you to stay. But he doesn’t say it. His jaw clenches as he looks away and avoids making eye contact with you again.

“I have to go.” you say. You start walking away but then pause before you round the corner, “just leave me alone.”

Mattheo doesn’t say another word before you leave him standing there, in the middle of the dimly lit hall.

You walk quickly through the hall, holding in tears. You didn’t want to cry anymore out in the open.

When you finally reach your dorm, you shut the door behind you, standing up against it as you let it all out. All of those held in emotions.

The sobs only carry on for a second by the time you realize Ginny and Hermione are both in the room, now paying attention to you.

“I made a big mistake” you mutter out barely in between shaky breaths.

Hi everyone! I am sooooo sorry nothing was uploaded this past week! Because of that, you all are getting 2 chapter releases today to make up for it <3

Enjoy!!

----------

You were in complete disbelief. You don’t want to believe that your friends have been right about the dark lord’s son all along, you want to be right. You have to be right about him.

Before now, you had never allowed yourself to get close to anyone outside of the friend group. Even Luna Lovegood has just become a friend and it’s only because she hangs around the rest of your friends. 

Because of this, your friends couldn’t know. Not yet at least. Maybe there was still some way you could convince Mattheo to change his mind, maybe even just forget about your little confession and go back to friends. 

But could you be ‘just’ friends with Mattheo anymore? The answer is no but you didn’t want to say it or even think it.

You spend the rest of the day avoiding your friends, hiding under the very same willow tree that Mattheo and you sat under recently except this time…it was just you.

You stay there until dinner time, heading to the great hall with your head pounding and your heart sinking.

You sit down near Neville and Harry, trying to avoid Hermione, Ginny, and Dean to the best of your ability.

“Where have you been all day?” Harry asks you quietly, “I went up to your dorm after breakfast to talk to you but you weren’t there”

You take a moment to respond, “I’m sorry, I lost track of time reading out on the grounds.”

“Are you okay?” he asks, Ginny eyeing you from across the table.

You glance at her and then back at Harry, “why wouldn’t I be?” you fake a smile.

You see Harry’s eyes shift away from you so you follow them, stopping at Mattheo standing across the room. He was on the way to the slytherin table but stopped in his tracks upon seeing you.

Your face starts to contort until you realize you can’t show your emotions in front of your friends. Before you have the chance to look away, he awkwardly back steps before picking up his pace, walking out of the great hall completely.

The group around you just watched the entire encounter but Harry nor anyone else at the table drags on the subject. For the first time ever, you are grateful that they didn’t want to talk to you about Mattheo.

When dinner is over, you walk back to your dorm with the group but not a single word is said between you, Hermione, and Ginny. Without Mattheo to go to, you were now feeling terrible about the awkwardness between your friends. 

“I’m gonna go read in the common room” you mention to them as you grab your book and head out.

You walk down to the common room in a sweatshirt and pajama pants and sit down on the couch near the fireplace.

There’s other gryffindors in the common room but after reading for a while it has died down.

“That was so cold but so fun, do you think we’ll get in trouble?” You hear some younger gryffindors.

You turn your head to see them walking in with towels wrapped around them, dripping water as they walk up to their dorm. They had been in the black lake.

You try picking up your book again but now you can’t focus. The image of you and Mattheo in the black lake together keeps replaying in your head as you stare at the crackling fireplace.

You think about how his eyes roamed your body once you were undressed, how his curls were still curls even after jumping in the water, and how he encouraged you to jump in even though you were afraid.

“You told him,” Dean’s voice startles you from behind.

“What?” you ask back, the memories in your mind now scattering.

“You told him you loved him, didn’t you?” He asks again, “that’s why it was so awkward at dinner”

You look away from him, settling on the book in your lap, “I don’t need a lecture right now Dean…”

He walks to the other side of the couch before sitting down, “I’m not lecturing…what happened?”

You look back up at him and contemplate telling him some made up lie for a second before deciding to just tell him the truth and let your feelings out.

“I told him I loved him…” you pause, “and he hates me.”

“I highly doubt that” he almost laughs before he realizes you’re being serious.

“Then why is he going to tell Snape to switch partners and why did he leave me standing there in tears?” You question, looking at Dean, “maybe I can change his mind tomorrow.”

“I’m sure Mattheo could forget about it, I mean a hundred girls have probably said that to him already…” he says passive aggressively.

“you were right, he was just acting so I would sleep with him.” you say very quietly, almost not wanting him to hear you.

Dean doesn’t respond right away, “you slept with him?”

You can’t quite meet his eyes anymore as you respond in a whisper, “yes.”

The air is silent with nothing but the sounds of the fireplace until Dean finally says something, “Am I the only one that knows?” he asks.

“Yes.” you hesitate, “please don’t tell anyone.”

“They’re gonna find out” he laughs, “I mean if you guys act like that every time you see each other…”

“Please.” you beg of him.

“Alright. Fine.” he responds, nodding, “but you need to tell them soon.”

You nod as he stands up and walks back to his dorm. You look back at the fireplace, hoping you would be able to talk to Mattheo again tomorrow.

You head back to your dorm to see Hermione reading and Ginny in the shower. You set down your book before getting into bed.

You turn your lamp off and turn to your side trying to fall asleep but not able to. 

‘Here’ Mattheo holds out his hand with the grape flavored taffy, waiting for you to take it.

The two of you were taking a break from your study session for a tough exam in potions, now sitting up at the astronomy tower.

‘What, you don’t like it?’ you laugh, grabbing the piece from his hand before you start to unwrap it.

‘It tastes like straight shit’ he grimaces just thinking about it.

You pop the candy into your mouth without any hesitation, forcing a reaction from Mattheo.

‘That’s so fucking gross’ he shakes his head, ‘you’re sick’

‘It’s not that bad’ you laugh more.

‘I can’t believe you like grape, we can’t be friends anymore’ he starts to pull out the rest of the grape taffy from the bag for you.

‘Oh are we friends now?’ you ask. It certainly felt like you were friends at this point, you had just shown him your father’s old office and had gotten through a little tiff after he had asked you about being a virgin…that's what friends do, right?

Still, you had not expected him to outright say it.

‘All of your other friends certainly think we are’ he squints his eyes curiously, ‘what do you think?’

‘Hmm’ you hum, pretending to think about it but already knowing your answer, ‘we’re friends’

‘We’re friends then.’ he smiles slightly.

Now that you think about the exchange, your hurt feels like it’s being ripped out. It had been so easy to talk to him and spend time with him and now…nothing.

You fall asleep going over what you could possibly say to him tomorrow to change his mind and go back to how it was before.

Happy release day! Sorry for missing Sunday again, school is kicking my butt right now lol. I'm so sorry for this one in advance...

Enjoy!!

----------

The next morning , you wake up to an empty dorm, Hermione and Ginny likely down at breakfast.

Your head instantly pounds, the hangover from last night setting in. You look around the room as you sit up on your bed, recalling what happened.

You and Mattheo had sex. Plain and simple. It was everything you had ever hoped for, it’s like you could still feel it in your soul somehow. You stand up slowly, heading for the bathroom before getting ready for the day.

You look quite rough as you stare into the mirror in front of you. Your hair was jostled and unruly and you had slept in your dress, not bothering to find a change of clothes last night before you went to bed.

‘Holy shit’ you pant as Mattheo climbs off you, letting you catch your breath.

‘Are you sure that was your first time?’ he asks as he walks over to his dresser and pulls on a shirt and some shorts.

‘Absolutely sure’ you confirm, nodding as you sit up on his bed. 

He finds your bra and panties before finding your dress on the floor and handing them to you to get dressed, smirking.

You pull on your bra, trying to clip it from behind but struggling. Mattheo walks up and grabs your hands, sending a chill down your spine before he grabs your bra and clips it for you. His movements are slow, like he’s taking his time touching you as if he doesn’t want the act to be over yet.

‘Thanks’ you muster out in a whisper as you turn around to face him. The smell of mahogany wafts off of him, filling your senses as you stand just inches away.

‘I’m honored to be your first’ he coos.

‘And I'm honored to be your…” you trail off, ‘how many people have you slept with again?’

‘Ha-ha you’re very funny, I’m not telling you’ he rolls his eyes playfully.

‘Please? For me?’ you beg, bringing your best sad puppy face.

‘That’s not gonna work you know’ he smiles, ‘but it’s very cute’

You squint your eyes, ‘worth a shot’. You sigh, ‘I think it's time for me to head back then’

You come back to reality, your head still reeling. You have to tell Mattheo you love him.

You get ready for the day before heading down to the great hall to grab a quick breakfast. Hopefully you’d be able to avoid Ginny and Hermione with the fight yesterday still fresh.

You walk up to the gryffindor table and grab a muffin off the table without saying a word. You turn around to leave when Harry speaks up, “Hey join us!” He was being genuine, motioning for you to sit down between him and Hermione, who is completely ignoring your existence.

“I don’t think I’m wanted here.” your glance moves over to Ginny who is staring a hole through you, “We’ll talk later.”

You look at Harry again, smiling slightly before turning and walking away, out of the great hall and back into the hallway. You unwrap your muffin until you run into someone.

“Shit” you hear an italian accent as he grabs your arms and steadies you.

You look up to Theo, Mattheo’s best friend.

“Oh hi bella” he smirks.

“Hi Theo” you smile.

“You disappeared so fast last night, we never got to finish our dance” he says.

“Yeah, uh-” you pause and tuck a hair behind your ear.

“It’s fine. I won’t make you say it.” he hesitates, “I saw you sneak out of our dorm.”

“Oh.” you nod.

“Hey don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me” he responds laughing.

“It’s not a secret” you instantly correct him.

“Oh I just figured because you’ve been hooking up and haven’t told anybody…” he trails off.

You clench your jaw, laughing, “uh we hadn’t…”

He furrows his eyebrows, surprised, “he must really like you then if he waited that long.”

You smile just slightly before he continues, “Blaise was waiting for me but I’m sure I’ll see you again bellissima.”

He walks off, entering the great hall. The memory of last night still lingers on your skin as you think about what Theo said.

You stand there for a moment before taking a deep breath and heading to the clocktower courtyard to enjoy your muffin in peace.

You round the corner to see the back of Mattheo who’s sitting down with his sketchbook, sitting on the edge of the well.

Your stomach fills up with nervousness when you see him.

You walk up and sit next to him as he looks up from his sketch.

“Hi” , you smile.

‘Hi” he says, looking at your muffin, “why aren’t you in the great ha-”

“I ran into Theo” you interject, pursing your lips.

“Oh God, what did he say?” he rubs the bridge of his nose.

“Not much, just that he saw me sneak out last night” you laugh.

“That fucking idiot, I’m gonna kill him. I told him not to say anything to anyone and I even included you in there and-”

“I love you.” you say as he rambles, becoming quiet immediately.

“What?” He asks barely loud enough for you to hear. The air is silent for way too long, unsettling you. This wasn’t the reaction you had been hoping for. Of course you weren’t planning on leading the conversation with your reveal but it just slipped out.

“Mattheo I love you. I’ve been thinking about this a lot and-”

“No you don’t.” He interrupts.

Your face contorts, confused, “What do you mean I don’t? I know what I’m feeling” you almost laugh. You couldn’t believe this.

He stands up, his jaw clenching, “You don’t love me. You’re supposed to hate me and I’m supposed to hate you. That’s how it's supposed to be.” You stare at him, refusing to believe what he’s saying.

He continues, “We can’t do this anymore. Last night should’ve never happened.”

“You’re kidding me right? What happened to our nicknames and lying under the stars and 3 hour long study sessions?” you stand up finally as your voice raises to a shout, “I slept with you Mattheo.” 

A tear falls down your cheek but you don’t dare remove it as he avoids returning the eye contact for the first time ever. What is happening right now?

“I’ll talk to Snape and have him switch partners.” he says quickly, almost like if he doesn’t, he’ll change his mind.

“Matt…” you trail off quietly. 

He finally looks you in the eye and his face twitches just a bit but he stops himself, “don’t follow me”

He takes off into the castle without another word, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You can’t do anything but feel the tears in your eyes build up. This is exactly what your friends were warning you about. They knew this would happen and you had given Mattheo the benefit of the doubt. You wanted so badly to believe he could be a good person, that he wasn’t his father. You were wrong.

Happy release day! I am SO sorry for missing last week, I've been crazy busy! I hope you enjoy this one, it gets a little spicy ;)

----------

You smile at Theo, “thanks for the dance”, before walking away with Mattheo to the drink table.

You pour another strong drink for yourself as he begins to talk, “hey, are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” you shrug your shoulders as you set the bottle of alcohol down, starting to sip out of your now full cup.

“I don’t know, you tell me” he insists.

“I’m fine.” you pause, looking at him, “now are you going to be like this all night or can we have some fun?”

He watches you for a moment before finally responding, “alright fine.”

You walk back to the couch area, sitting down next to Mattheo as the rest of this posse sits either on the floor or seats surrounding you.

“You’re dating Dean Thomas right?” Pansy Parkinson asks, pointing at you.

You perk up at the mention of Dean’s name before you realize you have to respond, “oh uh- yeah” You notice Mattheo shift slightly in his seat after your answer.

“Don’t worry about Pansy, she just likes to gossip.” Blaise Zabini mentions from the chair straight across from you.

You smile before looking at your cup.

“Is Potter as insufferable as he really seems?” Draco rolls his eyes.

“What about Hermione and Ron? Do you know if they really fuck because I think-“ Theo starts until he’s cut off

“Ok fuck off. All of you.” Mattheo states, stopping the questions.

You weirdly liked Theo and Blaise didn’t seem too bad but you were thankful for Mattheo cutting them off.

You continue to look at the cup in your hands until you hear a whiny voice speak up behind you, “Mattheo!”

“Oh God, here we go.” Theo chimes in, sipping his cup as the girl walks up behind the couch.

“Hi Mattheo” the girl says flirtingly.

“Hi Zelia” he responds, trying to ignore her.

She leans over and places her arms over his shoulders, “how’ve you been? We haven’t well…hung out in a while”

You turn your head to look at the girl after you roll your eyes at her insinuation.

“Yeah, I’ve been busy,” Mattheo says, staring at his cup in front of him.

“Well it doesn’t look like you're busy now if you want to-” she starts.

You interrupt, “maybe he doesn’t want to sleep with you”

She turns to face you, “who are you?”

“I’m Mattheo’s friend…and who are you?”

“I-”

“Wait, let me guess.” you smile and pause before you continue, “you were the meaningless booty call, right?”

She drops her jaw in shock and looks around at the group around you as they try not to laugh.

“I would just go if I were you” you smile innocently before she walks away.

“Alright, I really like her,” Theo laughs.

“Yeah, where have you been all of my life?” Blaise adds.

“Alright that’s enough” Mattheo grabs the cup out of your hand and sets it on the table in front of you.

Mattheo then grabs your hand, forcing you to get up and follow him. He leads you up the staircase and away from the party, walking into his dorm. He doesn’t let go of your hand until he closes the door behind him.

“Ok what the hell is going on?” he asks, raising his eyebrows.

“Why do you think something is going on?” you ask defensively.

“Because this isn’t you. You don’t act like this.”

“Why does everybody keep saying that to me?” You raise your voice in frustration.

“I know you. What happened?” he insists forcefully.

“Nothing.” You respond, standing your ground.

“Don’t bullshit me.” He says quietly, changing his tone, “I know you’re lying to me.”

You stare at him as he looks at you with those big doe eyes of his, taking a deep breath before responding, “Dean and I broke up.”

“Since when?”

“Since this morning.” you respond plainly.

He doesn’t respond, just watching you carefully.

“Stop looking at me like that” you laugh, nervous all of a sudden.

He purses his lips and looks up to the ceiling jokingly making you giggle for a second before you ask, “was that the girl you hooked up with last week?”

“Are you jealous?” he asks.

“Does it make a difference?” you respond with a question.

“You are jealous.” he smirks.

You roll your eyes.

“No, it’s hot actually.” It’s starting to hit you at this moment that you two are standing so close to each other.

“Yeah…right” you laugh, not believing his statement.

He doesn’t laugh with you but instead continues to stare at you, looking between your eyes and your lips.

You go quiet, reciprocating the intense stare with each other.

“I like your friends” you say barely above a whisper.

“They like you too…” he pauses, “how could they not?”

In this moment, you realize something that you had been suppressing because you didn’t want to prove your friends right. You love Mattheo Riddle. 

It had happened slowly but it was hitting you all at once as you stare at him in his dim dorm room, only lit by a single lamp in the corner of the room. 

“You okay?” He asks, bringing you back to reality.

You couldn’t tell him. At least not right now. But you wanted something else and you’re set on getting it tonight.

Without a word, you slam your lips into his as he stumbles back from the contact. He catches himself, placing his hands on your cheeks as you toy with the hem of his shirt, untucking it from his pants.

“Woah, woah, woah” he grabs your hands, stopping you. 

“What?” You ask, catching your breath.

“You’re drunk…” he trails off.

“No I’m not.” You retort, tilting your head, “I promise.”

“Are you still-“

“Yes.” You respond. You and Mattheo hadn’t talked about it since that one, single time but you were still a virgin.

“Are you sure?” He asks, looking into your eyes for the answer.

You take a moment to look back at him before responding, “yes, I’m sure.”

His grip on your hands loosens, allowing you to free them and start working on his buttons, undoing his shirt one by one until you reach the bottom.

After he tosses the shirt to the side, he grabs you with his hands landing on your ass as he walks backwards until he reaches his bed, falling back onto it.

Now on top, you straddle him as you both sit up. His hands hover near the hem of your dress, riding up around your waist before he slowly pulls the dress up and over your arms before it's off completely.

Mattheo looks at you, taking you in like he’s seeing you for the first time ever. Instinctively, you cover yourself with your arms, suddenly aware of your nakedness.

He gently grabs your arms and pulls them away, holding them, “Sidra, I’ve already seen you like this…you don’t have to hide from me.”

You connect your lips with this, this time more soft and sensual. He unclips your bra in the process until you have to come up for air, standing up off the bed.

You stand there, catching your breath as he undoes his belt and then his pants until there’s nothing left.

Nothing left but the two of you.

Hello everyone, happy release day Sunday! Enjoy this one!

----------

The next morning, you wake up super late, trying to avoid talking to Hermione or Ginny. After they head down for breakfast, you finally get up for the day.

You need to tell Dean about the kiss with Mattheo…you want to tell him but you were honestly scared. This was a new situation and you didn’t exactly know how to handle it.

You stay in your dorm and read a book while laying on your bed but your mind is elsewhere, trying to mentally prepare what you’re going to say to Dean. Trying to go over every possible situation in your head, the anxiety only grew until Ginny walked in, pulling you out of your own thoughts.

You glance at her before you close your book, get up, and walk out of the room. The two of you still aren’t on speaking terms and it seems like it’s permanent at this point.

You stand outside of your dorm, with your hand still on the knob as you realize, it’s time to talk to Dean. You need to start getting ready for the Slytherin house party soon and couldn’t put it off any longer…that kiss was consuming your every thought.

You walk over to his dorm, knocking on the door. Neville answers but immediately calls for him upon seeing you standing in the doorway.

Dean walks up to the door, purses his lips, then closes the door behind him.

“I have something to tell you…” you trail off.

“You kissed him.” he reveals the topic for you.

“How did you-?” you start to ask.

“Hermione was in the library and she saw you guys.” he explains shortly.

You look at him for a moment, mentally preparing yourself, “I’m sorry.”

“You know it’s funny, I’ve been waiting for this for weeks. I just didn’t want to believe it would actually happen.”

“It was just one kiss and it won’t happen again.” you shrug, not knowing what else to say, “seriously, it’s over. I promise.”

“No it’s not. I have a feeling it’ll never be over.” he practically whispers, “we’re done.”

“Dean…” you trail off, begging him to stay, “can we talk about this? I-”

“No, we can’t. Stay away from me for a while, I need some space.” he says before he wipes his hand over his mouth, “you know he’s only doing this to get in your pants.” he adds. Then, he walks back into his dorm, closing the door in your face.

You try not to let the tears building up in your eyes fall on your face but you fail. As the tears fall down your cheeks, you decide to go outside and take a walk for a bit. There was no chance you were going back to your dorm, Hermione and Ginny would just lecture you about everything.

You go to the willow tree that Mattheo took you to the other night and you sit on the ground, just like before. 

You felt absolutely terrible about kissing Mattheo…but at the same time, it’s like you could still feel it on your lips. It was a feeling that you didn’t want to leave.

You stay outside for longer than you probably should considering it’s chilly weather now before finally heading up to your dorm, thankfully with nobody else there anymore. 

As you start getting ready, your thoughts are going a million miles a minute.

I’m so sick of this. I’m sick of my ‘friends’ and of Dean and of being a gryffindor. I want something different, I need something different.

You walk to your wardrobe, looking for the skimpiest thing to wear…you want all eyes on you for a change.

In the corner and never worn, you find a black dress, exactly what you wanted. It was simple, with long sheer sleeves and a low scoop neck but you had bought it a few years ago a size smaller than you are now which makes the bottom hem shorter than you ever wear.

You put it on, letting your wavy hair fall over your shoulders. This was a new look…but you love it.

You suspected the rest of the group was already down at dinner, which meant you had a little bit of extra time before you needed to head to the slytherin house.

You stare into the mirror, looking at yourself for a moment before grabbing two of the few makeup items you have, mascara and lipgloss.

You apply the mascara carefully, the nerves coming back. You had no idea how Mattheo’s friends would react to you coming, let alone the rest of the slytherin house.

“Where are you going?” Ginny asks behind you.

You turn around to see Ginny and Hermione both standing in the doorway, staring at you.

“Uh-” you hesitate as you apply the rest of your lipgloss, “a slytherin party.”

“Wearing that?” Hermione questions.

“Yes?” you say sarcastically, already annoyed with the conversation.

“Hermione just leave it, she’s too cool for us now.” Ginny mentions.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” you ask, facing them again with your full attention.

“Going to a slytherin party,  wearing a tight, short dress, breaking up with Dean…it's like Mattheo made you himself.” Ginny raises her voice, “we don’t recognize you at all anymore!”

“Maybe that’s a good thing. I didn’t like who I was.” You say matter of factly.

“Is this all because you like Mattheo?” Hermione speaks up.

“What?” You ask, not believing what she just said.

“You want to sleep with him, right? It just makes too much sense.” She adds.

“That is none of your business. You are way out of line and you know it.” You say defensively.

“So it’s true?” Ginny asks.

“Why does it matter? Even if I do want to…sleep with him, I’m not doing this because of that. God forbid I do something for me.”

“He’s manipulating you.” Hermione states coldly.

“No, he’s not. That would be you two.” You pause, “I have to go, I’m already late.”

You walk right past them and shut the door behind you. You stand there for a second, taking a deep breath before heading to the slytherin house.

Fuck them. You are furious.

You make your way to the slytherin house and have no issue getting inside surprisingly.

The slytherin common room is huge and beautiful with a view of the black lake through large arched windows. The room is crowded with people, the lights low and music playing loudly.

You make your way through the crowd until you see Mattheo leaning back against a wall, talking to his friends.

You walk up to him, taking the nearly full cup in his hand and downing it.

“Hello to you too.” he furrows his eyebrows confused.

“I like her.” Theo says, laughing, clearly impressed.

The strong vodka taste burnt on its way down but you don’t mind. That’s exactly what you need right now.

“Hi” you say when the cup is finally empty, handing it back to Mattheo.

Theo speaks up, “Do you want to dance? It seems like you have some energy to let out” he laughs.

“Guys come on” Mattheo starts until you grab Theo’s outreached hand. 

Blaise laughs as Mattheo clenches his jaw, annoyed at the attention you were giving his friends.

You wrap your hands around Theo’s neck as you start a conversation, “you and Mattheo are super close, yeah?”

“It seems like you guys are closer than we are lately” Theo laughs, “he’s always talking about you”

“I’m going to pretend that that doesn’t scare me,” you reply, smiling.

“Nothing bad, I promise, he like loves you or something” Your heart flutters for a second before Mattheo places a hand on your shoulder.

“Can we talk?”

happy release day Sunday ;) enjoy this one hehe

----------

It’s a little over a week later, the slytherin party you were attending is coming up fast. Just one more day and you were still nervous about the reception of you being there. Mattheo insisted it would be fine but the nerves were still there.

It’s Friday, meaning you didn’t have a study session with Mattheo, leaving your afternoon open to work on whatever school work you needed to. 

You walk back to the gryffindor house, heading straight for the desk in the common room. You were avoiding spending a bunch of time in your dorm lately so you didn’t have to run into Ginny and Hermione.

You wanted to forgive them so much but they hadn’t apologized to you about judging both you and Mattheo and you had no intention of apologizing for them. They knew you were upset and made no attempt to make it up to you and honestly? It was making you second guess your entire friendship with them.

You set down your books on the desk and sit down before turning the small lamp on and getting right to work. 

As you start to write your paper, your mind starts to wander to yesterday’s study session with Mattheo, your focus dwindling by the second.

‘You’re late’ you say as Mattheo walks up to the desk in the library.

‘sorry , I had uh-” he pauses, “I was doing something’

‘Uh huh’ you watch him as he sits down next to you. You can’t help but notice the way his curls are slightly tousled and his lips are a shade more pink than normal.

Without another word, the two of you bring out the astronomy textbook, talking about moon phases. Mattheo had told you that he wanted you to teach him more astronomy, he said something about how the way you lit up when you talked about it.

As you talk to him, telling him about the next blood moon happening, your glance keeps falling to his especially pink lips until you lose your train of thought.

‘You okay?’ he asks.

‘You just hooked up with someone didn’t you?’ you blurt out.

‘What are you talking about?’ he asks, furrowing his eyebrows.

‘That’s why you were late, you just had sex.’ you reiterate.

‘Why does it matter?’ he scoffs, instantly defensive.

You don’t respond right away but then speak up, stuttering, ‘it doesn’t I guess…just-’ you stop.

‘Just what?’ he asks, leaning forward, stopping just inches away. His cologne was wafting off of him, infecting your nose. The smell of whiskey and cologne made your head spin.

‘I don’t know… never mind’ you finish, backing down. At first, you wanted him to admit it but now that you were thinking about it, you weren’t sure if you wanted the answer.

You turn back forward and start to look for your place in the textbook before he speaks up.

‘Jealousy looks good on you’ he practically whispers.

You turn back to him and the eye contact between the two of you instantly makes your stomach flip upside down.

You pretend to cough so you can turn your attention back to the school work, all of a sudden nervous. 

“Hey” you hear a voice behind you, forcing you to come back to reality.

You turn around to see Dean, who pecks you on the cheek, “hi”

You smile before you turn back around, trying to focus on your work. You had a large load and it was a tough subject, and obviously you weren’t getting much done. Not to mention, you and Dean were in a weird place right now.

You and Dean are okay but it has just gotten…stale. The animosity with you and the rest of the group at the moment didn’t help at all either. He kept trying to convince you to forgive them and honestly? It was just making you more angry with them all.

The common room suddenly gets really loud, the quidditch team dispersing throughout the room.

“What’s going on?” you ask, furrowing your eyebrows.

“Harry let practice out early so we have some time to kill before dinner” Dean shrugs, “what’re you working on?”

“Muggle studies. We have to write a paper and it’s due by Monday.” you sigh. This week had been tough, potions and charms both had big exams so you felt behind on your work, it had been really piling up.

“Well, don’t expect it to be any more quiet than this, the team is still buzzing about our match over the weekend.” Dean laughs.

You bite the inside of your cheek, you have to focus on this paper and get it done, “I’m going to head to the library then”

“I think Hermione is there, maybe you can catch up with her” Dean mentions casually. The two of you had barely talked in the last few weeks and Dean, Ron, and Harry were trying their hardest to “reunite” the girls of the group.

“Oh I’m sure that would be lovely.” you roll your eyes, “I’ll see you later”

You give him a quick peck on the cheek before grabbing your books and heading towards your designated, shared spot in the back of the library.

Thankfully, the environment is much more quiet, actually allowing you to think and put words on your paper. You get maybe ⅔ of the way done when suddenly, a paper drops onto the desk in front of you, blocking your paper.

You turn around to see Mattheo standing behind you, “what is this?” you ask.

“Look at it.” he urges you. You glance back at the paper he dropped before realizing it was the potions exam the class took this week. 

Your glance moves its way to the top, noticing Mattheo’s name written before landing on a large E written in professor Snape’s handwriting.

You gasp and let out a scream louder than acceptable in a library as you stand up and hug Mattheo, throwing your arms around his neck.

“Exceeds Expectations? I’m so proud of you!” you excitedly say as his arms melt into your hug, wrapping you up.

“It was all you” he responds quietly.

You back away but stay wrapped up in his arms before you retort, “I didn’t take the test, you did.” 

He lets a smile slip out before the two of you fixate on each other’s eyes. You don’t realize just how close you are to him until your eyes settle on his lips, merely inches away from yours.

Before you know it, you lean in, placing your lips on his. It only lasts a split second before you jerk back, surprised at your own action.

“I’m so-” you start until Mattheo grabs the back of your neck, pulling you in for a second time.

This kiss was intense, sensual, and sloppy, like both of you needed it to breathe. It was…intoxicating, like nothing you’ve felt ever before. Dean certainly didn’t kiss you like this…

Oh my god, Dean.

As the thought crosses your mind, you back away, “we shouldn’t be doing this.”

Mattheo replies, “tell me to stop.”

You don’t respond right away, the kiss still lingering on your lips.

“No, this isn’t right. Not now.” you say again, finally confirming your thoughts. You didn’t want to cheat on Dean, you couldn’t.

He backs away, respecting your wishes, and watching you carefully.

“I’m sorry. I have to go…I’ll see you tomorrow”

Happy release day Sunday! Thank you for all of your support, comment on any chapter to be added to the tag list! Things are moving along quickly ;)

Enjoy!

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You wake up early before your alarm goes off, allowing you some extra time to read before having to get ready. You were still going over a million different scenarios in your head, thinking of the best way to approach Dean with the situation.

You’re sure that it would turn into a fight no matter what but you were at least hoping to avoid it being bigger than it needs to be.

You decide to leave the room before Ginny and Hermione wake up and head towards Dean’s dorm. You look at the floor as you walk, practicing what you’re going to say to him until you run into someone on the way.

“Dean” you stutter as he grabs your arms, holding you from falling down.

“Hi.”he says as he watches you. He doesn't smile like his normal self.

“Uh, I was just on my way to see you.” you pause, “we need to talk.”

“Right, where were you last night? Ginny said you got into a fight and then you disappeared?” He questions.

“I needed to get some air” you roll your eyes, “and by the way? Thanks for airing our private business to your ex-girlfriend.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t need to if you would quit hanging out with that-”

“Finish that sentence.” you stare at him, crossing your arms.

He gets closer to you as someone walks by down the hall, “look, just stop sneaking around with him.”

“Dean, the only reason I didn’t tell you was because we were already fighting about it. I just didn’t see the reason to make you more upset.”

“Imagine how I felt running into you two like that. How would you feel if Ginny and I did that?” he asks.

“Looks like you and Ginny already are doing that” you pause a moment before continuing, “and you know that’s completely different.”

He stares at you but doesn’t respond right away, leaving you in an uncomfortable stance.

“You had no right telling Ginny.” you say quietly, trying to sound tough.

“I only told her because she asked me where you were.” he pauses, taking a breath before continuing, “I was mad so it just came out.”

You shake your head as you change the subject, “I’m not going to stop hanging out with Mattheo.” 

“I know,” he replies plainly.

“Then can you stop pestering me about it?” you ask him. 

He purses his lips, “fine.”

“Good. Thank you.” you take a breath of relief.

“On one condition.”

“And what’s that?” you ask, furrowing your eyebrows.

“You go out with me to Hogsmeade this weekend after our quidditch match.” he smiles.

You smile back, “sure, I can do that.”

He pulls you in and kisses you before pulling away, “good. I look forward to it.”

“I was just heading down to the great hall, wanna join?” You ask. You were tired of fighting with Dean and if he wasn’t going to pester you about your friendship with Mattheo, you wanted to have him around again.

“Yeah, sure. I have to wake Neville up but I’ll catch up.” he smiles, pointing towards his dorm.

You nod as he backs away to go back to his room. He turns around before you walk away and leave the gryffindor house.

You head down to the great hall to grab a quick breakfast before classes. You sit at the Gryffindor table next to Seamus and Ron, the others hadn’t come down yet (thankfully). 

As you spoon through your oatmeal you look across the room to see Mattheo reading the Daily Prophet. As he flips the page, he notices your glance and returns it.

You hold eye contact for a moment before Dean walks up and grabs your chin, turning your face towards him and kissing you.

It’s a slow kiss and it lasts longer than it should for being in the great hall. When he finally pulls away, you glance back at Mattheo. His jaw is clenched and his eyes are still fixated on you, now with a deadly stare.

He rolls his eyes and looks away, returning his attention to the newspaper in his hands. Weird.

“Have you talked to Hermione today?” Ron asks as he’s spreading jam on a roll.

“Uh-” you hesitate, “no, we haven’t talked for a while.”

“Right…” he trails off.

You find your gaze back over to the slytherin table, Mattheo’s seat now empty. Dean says something that snaps you back to reality and turns your attention back to your friends until Ginny walks in the room.

She watches you carefully as she sits down across from you.

“I’ve gotta go.” you say simply, standing up. You peck Dean on the cheek before walking off without another word. You had forgiven Dean but Hermione and Ginny were still in boiling hot water.

You walk back to the gryffindor house to grab your books before you head for class. As you’re looking through the chest at the end of your bed, a fifth year knocks on the slightly open door.

“Yeah?” you ask.

“There’s someone here for you, the fat lady won’t let him in…” she trails off.

“Oh?” you ask, furrowing your eyebrows. You grab your book and follow her down to the common room.

You walk out of the Gryffindor house to see Mattheo arguing with the fat lady.

“Hi” you say, catching your attention.

He turns to you, with blood on his knuckles and a small cut on his lip, “I got in a fight.”

“Mattheo I literally just saw you” you say, tilting your head.

“It just happened,” he retorts, “I told you you’d be the first to know.”

You squint your eyes, processing the situation, “alright, come on.” you start to walk towards the empty girls bathroom that nobody uses. Luckily, Moaning Myrtle hasn’t been making appearances lately.

You set your books on a nearby sink before grabbing the closest towel and wetting it, “come here.”

He walks up to you, stopping just inches away. You grab his hand gently, lifting it up from his side before you start to wipe the blood off of his knuckles. He jerks at the touch at first but you hold his hand, making him stay still.

“So why’d you get into a fight?” you ask, watching what you’re doing instead of looking up into his eyes.

“It’s not important” he says back, watching your every move.

You glance up at him, “Matt.”

“Sidra.” he retorts, returning eye contact.

“Was it because of Dean?” you ask quietly, “I know you saw him kiss-”

“The boyfriend is allowed to…” he pauses, “kiss you. I just don’t have to like it.”

“Right…” you respond so quietly, you can barely hear yourself say it.

You wipe as much blood off of his knuckles before re-wetting the towel and looking at him again, “you don’t have to compete with him-“ you start.

He interrupts, “I’m sorry you’re missing first class for me.”

You stop your movement and stare into his eyes before starting, “I don’t mind.”

He doesn’t respond but maintains eye contact, making your stomach turn upside down.

“All better” you say as you set down the now blood-stained towel.

“So everything is okay between you two?” He asks.

You smile lightly and nod. At least things were okay for you and Dean…not so much Hermione or Ginny.