blinding lights

For a moment, Max was sure they’d gotten their wires crossed, that the other man was referring to someone else. Because, really, he only recognized his counterpart in a vague, far off sort of way. He narrowed his gaze at the other man, tried to place the face in the memory, to pin it all in place… And then.

“The suit! You were the guy in the suit. Yes, I remember you now!”

Valentine’s Day had, in truth, been a rare moment of weakness, for Max. It had been right on the heels of his sibling ditching him for the millionth time — when he thought they were finally going to be on good terms after their most recent fight, up and disappearing without a word, and it was, well, it was a romantic holiday, and he was divorced. While he wasn’t sobbing his eyes out — as if he’d ever, Max wasn’t exactly feeling particularly cheery that evening, either. It would explain, though, why he drank so much at a public event. 

Had he said anything embarrassing then? “I hope I wasn’t like, weird. Or whatever. You know.”

Matty couldn’t help but laugh lightly as he brought up the suit he’d wore. Honestly, he remembered a lot of people commenting on it. That night had been a whirlwind of emotions and trouble, he to this day remembered getting his ass almost kicked after some of WIll’s shenanigans. There was just a lot going on, but he remembered the other guy since he seemed to be in a really chill mood compared to the rest of the partygoers. 

“Dude, if you were, I’ll admit I don’t remember much. I had a lot going on.” Matty admitted playfully, shaking his head. Besides, Matty was such a weirdo when he drank, he became almost as creative as when he smoked weed so he probably wasn’t the best company either. “I remember you mentioned a girl though. Someone you met but you didn’t know her name. You couldn’t...oh, you couldn’t find her right? You wanted to know who she was, if I remember correctly.”

x

                    Max felt like he was living two lives, most days. During the daylight hours, he could be found in a work uniform, hands coated in the slick, shiny sheen of oil. Or, maybe, on a slow day around the shop, he’d be over at Retrograde, hands wrapped in bandages, a punching bag bearing the weight of his frustrations. At night, though? He was almost always in all black. Sometimes a t-shirt, sometimes something a little nicer. A watch, always. And clean, always clean. Clothing felt like a costume  — had to be, with a profession(s) like his. 

                    So, with his nightly costume on, Max headed to the beach. A particularly self-conscious ‘client’ had insisted meeting there, with the daytime crowds now clearing out. And while the currently faceless, unsaved number in his phone would be able to maintain their dignity, Max felt like a ridiculous asshole with his boot-clad feet sinking into sand. 

                    He was almost startled by a man speaking over his shoulder, gazing swinging over in the direction of the sound. Brown hues squinting, focusing, Max realized he recognized the man; he worked at Sea of Ink. Puzzle pieces were aligning. Except, what was he saying? 

                                        “Oh, honestly, I hadn’t even, uh..” he spared a chuckle, “Hadn’t even looked. Hey, I know you, don’t I? Well, sort of.” 

Valentine’s Day had been quite the night for Matty, between his shenanigans with his best friend Will, what happened between Matty and Nina and how drunk he was; it was hard for him to remember all of it. But one look at the man and Matty remembered some of their conversation. He could be wrong but he thought that the other male had mentioned his red suit and how different it was or something. 

Again, it was a long, crazy night that he barely remembered. So he could be wrong. “Oh yeah, you’re right. Oh, damn. I hate to say this but I don’t believe we said each other’s names that night, right?” It was embarrassing to admit, but he assumed that his drunk state would let the other know what he meant. He had no recollection of their actual conversation, but he did remember his face and that he had been good company for a short amount of time before he disappeared.

STARTER: @mattyrazo​ LOCATION: Sea Of Ink TIME: 6:00 PM

For Carina, the promise of seeing her best friend put a smile on her face like no other. While the romantic tension had definitely risen between the two of them as of late, there was no doubting the fact that they enjoyed each other’s company and she couldn’t wait to see what the tattoo artist had whipped up for her. 

As she entered the shop, Carina could feel her heartbeat quicken and and a toothy smile spread across her face. For somebody who knew her so well, she was absolutely positive that Matty had picked something she would love. “I’m here for my 6 o’clock appointment with a Mr. Matias Razo. Do you perhaps know where I can find him?” the woman teased as she approached her friend, barely giving the man a chance to answer before she was wrapping her arm around his frame. 

Liking someone was nerve-wracking, let alone liking someone that you have already been with and decided to become friends with. Matty never expected things to happen like this between them; after all, he knew that he had hurt her a lot when they dated years ago, and he was content with them being friends. Anything to make sure that she was happy and that she was in his life. Things had definitely turned around after Valentine’s Day and honestly, Matty was happy with it. They had promised each other to let it flow and that’s what they were doing. They were still Matty and Nina, best friends, but now there was a never-ending tension back in their interactions. It was almost as if that spark had never left, honestly.

He was equally giddy and nervous about showing her what he had drew for her, an original design just for her that no one else would ever have. Especially made for her and with her in mind. A smile appeared as he watched her step into Sea of Ink and Matty walked around the front desk to greet her, hugging her gently and kissing the side of her head. “I heard that he’s waiting for a very important client today, so he might be too busy to see anyone else, ma’am.” He retorted playfully as he pulled away from the hug. “I’m really glad that you’re punctual, if I wait any longer to show you the design, I think I might lose it.”

                  ◇─◇──◇─────◇──◇─◇

Helin wasn’t expecting just a deep and thoughful answer from Matty. Mostly because she doesn’t know him. Putting her judgmental-self aside, she decides to take a note from Matty’s book. Dark gaze settles upon the horizon, taking in the moment and the beautiful colours. The golden and bold colour’s of the setting sun sparkles like liquid fire against the waters of Mystic. Helin has to admit that it is a beautiful sight, though she can only handle the brightness for so long before she silently begins to dig into her purse to put on a pair of tinted sunglasses. The orange gold stretches far and wide, the colour of fire and tangerines. ❛ It’s quite the sight. ─ What’s the foot traffic like down here? Tourist and civilian wise? ❜

Dark brows raise, stretching over her sunglasses. ❛ You live here? ❜ Helin can’t help to repeat, not expecting that to be his answer. Her eyes flicker to where Matty directs towards ; a rickety old dock coupled by a few boats. ❛ What’s that like? ❜ At first glance, and smell, Helin knows that only people who really love the water can live here. But on the other hand, she can see how some can be drawn to the isolation. It looks lonely out here, but there’s an art in surviving loneliness, and it looks like·a place where one could be conscious of their choices and emotions.·

With this new flood of information about Matty that comes to light, she can’t help but move her dark eyes towards him, studying him while coming to the realization that she judged him too quickly and all too harshly. Her jaw clenches momentarily. She hates being wrong, especially about a person. ❛ An ex-cop? Recently retired? ❜

With question of what she’s doing her, Helin can’t help but ask: ❛ Are you asking as an ex-cop or a curious citizen? ❜ There’s a lightness to the question that she’s teasing, even the small quirk upward of the corner of her lips could be seen. ❛ … I don’t know truthfully. I don’t normally stray from my routines. I think I needed an extra moment to myself. ❜ It’s her turn to set her sights back toward the sunset, then they quickly flicker towards the docks and the calm floating boats.· ❛ … May I? ❜ Helin asks a bit vaguely, while pointing towards the dock in a silent inquiry if she’s allowed to go further towards his property.·

“More tourists, but if I’m honest, I am barely home. I spend most of my time at the shop, you know? I mostly come home late at night.” The information he could give her was what little he saw on his late mornings and on his one day off, that was usually Sunday. So he wasn’t sure if that was enough for her. It was the beach though, so it was easy to tell that most of the tourists ended up there one way or another; to get in the water or for photo opportunities. 

He grins a little and shrugs. “It’s alright, can be very nice if you like the quiet. The sound of the sea calms me a lot, it’s become almost a safety thing for me to be able to go to bed and listen to it. Almost comfort.” He can’t imagine most people wanting to live on a boat, but it works for him right now that he’s single and doesn’t spend as much time at home as most people his age probably do. Eventually, he will probably sell the boat and get a house, when he thinks it’s time. But for now, his houseboat is everything that he’s ever wanted. 

It is very clear that though Helin knows some things about him, Yasmin didn’t share everything with her. Which makes sense, they were best friends for longer than they ever dated and then Matty disappointed her in the worst way. For some reason, he assumed, that the woman knew more about him than she actually did. Which was completely fine, he was only just now, coming to terms with his PTSD and his nightmares, he didn’t want anyone in town to know about it. It was something that made him push people away, but he was trying his hardest to let it go. “No, I retired ten years ago. That is one of the reasons why I left New York.” He answers almost awkwardly. He has nothing to hide, after all, Helin basically already thinks the worst of him. Which only makes him wonder why she’s being almost nice now.

–

      Carina’s cheeks couldn’t help but redden as she listened to him speak. Whether she had been intentionally flirtatious or not, there was definitely something going on between them – something that neither person could seem to wrap their head around. Butterflies filled her stomach whenever he was near and the smile on her face always appeared to shine a little brighter.

      With a small chuckle, the brunette raised her hands in surrender, though it wasn’t long before she felt herself crash against the man’s body. His lips had always felt so good against her skin, making her feel safe, no matter the time or place. Matty was home to her. And even if just for a moment, it was hard not to slip into those old familiar feelings – the sweetness of their love, the playfulness of their relationship. All thoughts of the tattoo exiting her mind, Carina tipped her head back to gaze up at him, an innocent smile creeping onto her lips as she spoke.

      “You missed.” As her dainty fingers combed back through his hair, the woman felt herself slip into an almost trance-like state. She had promised her best friend that if she kissed him again, it wouldn’t be a mistake. And while Carina had definitely sipped on enough margaritas to feel a buzz, it wasn’t the alcohol talking this time around. Just as the tip of Matty’s nose brushed up against her own, the sound of a familiar voice called her back to reality. It was Holly. 

       With a small sigh of frustration, Carina couldn’t help but chuckle at the inconvenience. Even if it was probably for the best. “I’m sorry. My friend is having boy troubles and I think she needs me. But I’ll see you later, okay? Try not to have too much fun without me.” 

A part of him always wanted to avoid comparing what was happening between them now, to who they were and how they had been years ago when they dated. They were so young and Matty was merely a shadow of the man that he was now. Without either of them ever even bringing it up though, it felt as if they were giving each other clean slates now and somehow, he felt so much different now when it came to her. He felt this sort of nervousness, this newness that almost made him feel as giddy as a high school boy talking to his crush whenever she was around; giddy, excited and at the same time so lost. It was almost silly. 

All his feelings were all over the place because they were acting like friends one second and all that tension went up in a second when one of them moved closer to the other or made a move that the other one wasn’t expecting. But it felt so right when she moved closer, and it felt like home when her fingers tangled into his messy hair. He was so in the moment that it actually took Matty a few seconds to break out of it when she pulled away. “Wait, what?” 

He blinked several times as she began to say goodbye and then just started laughing as the tension slowly left his body while he watched her walk away from. “Hey! Nina! You missed too!” He called out with a wide smile on his face. “We gotta stop missing, dammit!” Matty called out playfully as he watched her go.

                                  ◇─◇──◇─────◇──◇─◇

Helin has never been fond of the beach. Not like her sister. The brunette loves summer, but with the warm temperatures comes the constant reminders of beach bodies, beach reads, fruity beach drinks in tall glasses festooned with tiny paper umbrellas and fruits skewered on tiny plastic swords. Helin, instead, thinks of the beach of a mirage that is often overrated. She’s known beaches, she’s lived in Mystic her whole life, and yet has no particular fondness for them. God knows she’s tried. Mostly, Helin doesn’t enjoy other people at the beach — sticky children, young people making their way to the waters after being tipsy at brunch. That’s why she comes her after everyone, or at least most of the crowds, have left.

After a mere ten minutes, Helin finds herself bored. But oddly enough, Helin has found that being bored has its benefits. The brunette is constantly taking in and overloading herself on information and distractions. taking a break can be a valuable opportunity to help our overloaded brains relax and alleviate stress, which is almost a constant emotion in her life. Another perk is that it’s a good place to be alone. After the people and kids and dogs are all gone, Helin situated herself where the lifeguards normally sit for sometime. 

She has climbed down the ladder and is ready to head back to her vehicle when she spots from the corner of her eye, someone to her left coming up beside her. It’s Matty. She hasn’t seen him since they ran into each other a few months back. Their conversation was less then stellar, she wonders if this one will be any different. She looks him up and down for a moment, wondering what possessed him to approach her. She wasn’t the easiest person to talk to, so she finds it surprsing Matty would be willing to engage first. 

Glancing out toward the horizon, now with her arms comfortably crossed over her chest, Helin shrugs in return, ❛ Makes me think about everything that’s going on … ❜ She does come here to think, despite hating the feeling of sand between her toes. Helin doesn’t know how to continue the conversation for the time being, and instead, lapses into a thick silence. Thankfully, the soft waves create at least some soothing rhythm to conventrate one. ❛ What are you doing out here? ❜ She asks abruptly with her curiosity now setting in.

Talking to Helin was almost as nerve-wracking as it was to face Yasmin honestly, but Matty knows better now. He knows better than to run from his problems nowadays. He has grown up a lot since his twenties, when he possibly made most of his mistakes. He lost so many people, and he cannot blame anyone but his younger self for that. And sure, he was never close with Helin. He remembers her from the few times that Yasmin showed him photos of her or when they hung out and she and Yasmin would FaceTime. It still blows his mind; that somehow he ended up in a place that he had heard so much about, surrounding by the family of a person that meant the world to him but now even knowing about it, until recently.

“Really? It’s the opposite for me. Makes me think that there are still things to look forward to, you know? Despite everything that is going on.” He wasn’t always so positive or talkative. In fact, back in the day, he was so reserved that he didn’t even have that many friends. He didn’t do parties, he didn’t do...anything that didn’t involve his job. But now, even if he knew that Helin probably didn’t care how he felt, he could say it out loud. It was progress that she was even deciding to reply to him anyway. 

He tilted his head to the side and folded his arms across his chest, a relaxed position rather than defensive. He knew better than to feel questioned. “I live here.” He nodded at the dock a few feet away from them, where a few boats floated in the water, empty and awaiting for their owners the next day. Not his boat though, his house boat had a few string lights on that they could spot from where they stood. “And I just got back from a round around the neighborhood. People are on edge with all the bad news we have been getting, they’ve told me that it’s cool that I live nearby since I’m an ex-cop and shit.” He admits gently, looking back at the sunset. “What are you doing here?”

"She is one of the best people that I have ever met, period. I know that it might look like I never cared, but I have never met anyone as loyal or as good as she is. She taught me so much without ever intending too, I was only a shell of the Matty that everyone else in town knows when she met me and to this day, I think that I wouldn't be the man that I am today if it weren't for her support when I was younger and, obviously, stupid." @yasminsolak

"I think that anything that I can say about her will fall short to who she really is and how highly I think of her. I mean, she's my ex-girlfriend, my best friend, but honestly, she's also my family. She's an amazing person and she deserves everything that her heart wants and that all of her dreams come true. I just know that I want her to be in my life forever, in any way possible." @carinagarcia

—

Truthfully, Marcus was coming off of a almost week and a half long bender. He hadn’t paid attention to anything going on around him, or in this town, except what he needed to as he grudgingly sobered up the last few days. He was still reeling over the discovery that he had a daughter. When he heard someone else’s voice beside him, he halted in his tracks, taken by surprise at the proximity. But then he glanced over at the person who had spoken, and even more surprise flooded through him. Would the cop- or he supposed, ex-cop- recognize him from that night? “Really?” he asked, almost hesitantly. He wasn’t sure how to handle this exactly. Marcus had seen him around town, but never close enough that the two had been forced to interact. “I didn’t realize. I just thought someone in town was paying me back for being such an asshole in high school.” he added with a slight chuckle.  

If life had taught him anything in the past ten years, it was that when things were meant to happen, the universe would make sure that it would happen. That was the only what that he could explain how he kept running into people that he had only met, ten years ago, in an entirely different town. Otherwise, it didn’t make sense that he was running into this man again. Matty blinked several times as he turned around to see, who he imagined was the owner of the establishment, but he never expected it to be someone that despite barely knowing him, knew things about him that no one else in town knew. At least no one that still talked to him.

“Uh...” It was almost as if the moment that he saw Marcus’ face, it all came rushing back to him, the memories of that night. The gunshot echoing in his ears again and again. He felt as if he could barely breathe and for a moment, Matty wondered if he could continue to keep his two lives still separate. It was starting to feel like that wasn’t the case anyone and he didn’t know how to stop it. Then something occurred to him; what if he was wrong and this man wasn’t that same guy that had seen it all? “I’m sorry. Uh, do I know you? Have we met before or am I going crazy?”

"Well, my relationship with my dad is non-existent these days. I really don't know much about him nowadays." He always tries to act like it didn't matter that he left, but he knows now that his absence made Matty who he is now. "My mom is an angel. We talk everyday and we get along pretty well. She deserves everything good in the world."

COSMOS: what's one thing you wish you could say to someone you are no longer friends with?

One person comes to mind at the question, so he takes a deep breath. "I would tell her that she did everything right and that I know I could have done things differently. That I'm sorry, that I hope she's really happy now."

CONSTELLATIONS: who is someone you could talk to for hours and never stop?

"I feel like I could talk to Carina for days and never get bored, I think we have actually done it before, honestly. She knows me better than most people do." He smiles and then shrugs. "Also, my nephew, Ricky, he's only five but I think he's an angel." @carinagarcia

11-11: what's something you want, but feel like you will never have?

A family of his own. True happiness. So many things. "I'm a believer on anything that you want, if you work for it.

ASK MY CHARACTER ABOUT ANYONE IN THEIR LIFE!

"I adore my family. At least my mom and my siblings, we may not be as tight now after being in Mystic for years. But they're everything to me, everything that I got. I would do anything for them, no questions asked."

SLUMBER: what's one thing that helps you fall asleep when it feels impossible?

He lets out a small sigh, resting his chin in the palm of his hand. "I haven't slept well in a long time, honestly. But I have gotten more used to barely sleeping, I guess." Maybe he knew the answer, deep down, but he wasn't completely sure of it.

NIGHTMARE: what are you most afraid of?

"Generally speaking, not a lot of things scare me. I have seen and done a lot of things that used to be scary, so I guess that kind of helps out in that department." He shrugs, knowing fairly well that's not entirely true. He's afraid of being lonely, afraid of losing the people he loves, afraid of never being able to open up.

EARTH: where do you feel most at home?

"I feel the most at home when I talk to my family, honestly. I feel at home after a long day of work, spending time with Cam and Nina, or sitting at the 401 with Will and Celestina after everyone has left. I guess it really depends on the people for me."

cosmos: what's one thing you wish you could say to someone you are no longer friends with?

galaxies: what are three things you want to do before you die?

waxing: what is your proudest accomplishment?

waning: what is your biggest regret?

full moon: what type of person do you hope to be?

contemplation: if you could wake up one morning and everything in your life was perfect, what would that look like?

night light: who/what makes you feel safe?

ponder: what do you want to do with your life?

sunset: who is someone you thought would be in your life forever, but you no longer talk to?

midnight: are you a different person late at night than in the early morning?

candle light: are you an indecisive person?

reflection: have you ever changed something you liked about yourself to satisfy someone else?

sweet dreams: are you happy?

nightmare: what are you most afraid of?

constellations: who is someone you could talk to for hours and never stop?

reminder: who is someone you will never forget?

11-11: what's something you want, but feel like you will never have?

shooting star: who is someone you trust to help you make the right decisions?

earth: where do you feel most at home?

soothe: what's one thing that always makes you feel better when you're upset?