Matty

Thank god we got to go to the Tony’s together, though. Between the performance and the winners having their moment, and talking to people I knew and also really admired, we had an amazing time. It was a long night, so I assumed that was why we went to bed early when we got home, but even after having been back in LA for a over a week, we didn’t have sex again. I hated dwelling on it, but I thought it was… weird. Besides, I wanted to be intimate with her. But she seemed fine. Like, I couldn’t figure out why we might’ve hit pause again. We could talk about it.

I sat straight up with renewed determination and told her she could take the first move. Biting back a grin, I followed up and then we went back and forth and I actually had a leg up on her at some point. Licking my lips in concentration, I set myself well before my last move before dropping in the fourth token in a row. “Game.”

He was so insanely adorable when he was deep in concentration, but I needed to stay vigilant. Stop staring, Jayma. Focusing my eyes on the board, I really thought I had it in the bag… until he dropped his piece and got four in a row. Oh, shit. I was embarrassed that I didn’t even realize he had a leg up on me, but thankfully I decided to keep my bra on when I got home earlier. After sighing dramatically, I tugged my shirt off over my head and tossed it at him. At least I knew now he’d be too distracted to win again.

“It’s a strip party,” I playfully woo’d as I took my shirt off too because this was a partnership and all. Taking her shirt, I put it on top of my head like a bandana and slid the bottom kick open. “One more round. You can redeem yourself,” I offered teasingly being the good boyfriend I was. I basically used whatever brain power I had left.

Chuckling quietly, I nodded and divided our tokens before letting him go first. I liked going second better, actually. I was completely focused on the task at hand, and I blocked every single one of his moves. Neither of us could win this round, actually, so we reset it and went again, and thank god I beat him this time around. No way I could handle losing to him twice in a row.

I was locked in, sorta… okay, I was more distracted than usual. It wasn’t an excuse, though, she was just better than me at Connect Four. Cleaning up after that round, I smiled to myself and peered up at her with a chuckle. “It’s kind of hot when you beat me.”

Raising an eyebrow after he told me that, I absentmindedly spun a token and chuckled too. “Oh yeah? What’s that about?” Not that I was complaining about him thinking that I was hot, but that was a random reason. “Unless it’s just because I’m still topless.” That would make a lot of sense too.

“I like your confidence. And that I’m not the cocky one for once.” She was a total boss sometimes and I was into it. Putting the board back in the box, I peered up at her with a chuckle. That too. “I mean, ever better, but…” I replied cheekily at her guess and raised an eyebrow.

Giggling at his answer, I playfully brushed my shoulders off and winked at him. I wouldn’t call myself cocky when it came to Connect Four… okay, maybe I would. Good to know he liked it when I got all cocky on him, though. “You should see me play Uno, then.”

Of course she was good at Uno. “Yeah, no thanks,” I quipped back with a suspicious gaze before flashing a smile. Sliding the board out the way, I placed my hands on the floor and leaned forward. “Let’s go to bed.” I gestured my head to the other room after kissing her briefly.

Thank god we got to go to the Tony’s together, though. Between the performance and the winners having their moment, and talking to people I knew and also really admired, we had an amazing time. It was a long night, so I assumed that was why we went to bed early when we got home, but even after having been back in LA for a over a week, we didn’t have sex again. I hated dwelling on it, but I thought it was… weird. Besides, I wanted to be intimate with her. But she seemed fine. Like, I couldn’t figure out why we might’ve hit pause again. We could talk about it.

I sat straight up with renewed determination and told her she could take the first move. Biting back a grin, I followed up and then we went back and forth and I actually had a leg up on her at some point. Licking my lips in concentration, I set myself well before my last move before dropping in the fourth token in a row. “Game.”

He was so insanely adorable when he was deep in concentration, but I needed to stay vigilant. Stop staring, Jayma. Focusing my eyes on the board, I really thought I had it in the bag… until he dropped his piece and got four in a row. Oh, shit. I was embarrassed that I didn’t even realize he had a leg up on me, but thankfully I decided to keep my bra on when I got home earlier. After sighing dramatically, I tugged my shirt off over my head and tossed it at him. At least I knew now he’d be too distracted to win again.

“It’s a strip party,” I playfully woo’d as I took my shirt off too because this was a partnership and all. Taking her shirt, I put it on top of my head like a bandana and slid the bottom kick open. “One more round. You can redeem yourself,” I offered teasingly being the good boyfriend I was. I basically used whatever brain power I had left.

Chuckling quietly, I nodded and divided our tokens before letting him go first. I liked going second better, actually. I was completely focused on the task at hand, and I blocked every single one of his moves. Neither of us could win this round, actually, so we reset it and went again, and thank god I beat him this time around. No way I could handle losing to him twice in a row.

I was locked in, sorta… okay, I was more distracted than usual. It wasn’t an excuse, though, she was just better than me at Connect Four. Cleaning up after that round, I smiled to myself and peered up at her with a chuckle. “It’s kind of hot when you beat me.”

Raising an eyebrow after he told me that, I absentmindedly spun a token and chuckled too. “Oh yeah? What’s that about?” Not that I was complaining about him thinking that I was hot, but that was a random reason. “Unless it’s just because I’m still topless.” That would make a lot of sense too.

“I like your confidence. And that I’m not the cocky one for once.” She was a total boss sometimes and I was into it. Putting the board back in the box, I peered up at her with a chuckle. That too. “I mean, ever better, but…” I replied cheekily at her guess and raised an eyebrow.

Thank god we got to go to the Tony’s together, though. Between the performance and the winners having their moment, and talking to people I knew and also really admired, we had an amazing time. It was a long night, so I assumed that was why we went to bed early when we got home, but even after having been back in LA for a over a week, we didn’t have sex again. I hated dwelling on it, but I thought it was… weird. Besides, I wanted to be intimate with her. But she seemed fine. Like, I couldn’t figure out why we might’ve hit pause again. We could talk about it.

I sat straight up with renewed determination and told her she could take the first move. Biting back a grin, I followed up and then we went back and forth and I actually had a leg up on her at some point. Licking my lips in concentration, I set myself well before my last move before dropping in the fourth token in a row. “Game.”

He was so insanely adorable when he was deep in concentration, but I needed to stay vigilant. Stop staring, Jayma. Focusing my eyes on the board, I really thought I had it in the bag… until he dropped his piece and got four in a row. Oh, shit. I was embarrassed that I didn’t even realize he had a leg up on me, but thankfully I decided to keep my bra on when I got home earlier. After sighing dramatically, I tugged my shirt off over my head and tossed it at him. At least I knew now he’d be too distracted to win again.

“It’s a strip party,” I playfully woo’d as I took my shirt off too because this was a partnership and all. Taking her shirt, I put it on top of my head like a bandana and slid the bottom kick open. “One more round. You can redeem yourself,” I offered teasingly being the good boyfriend I was. I basically used whatever brain power I had left.

Chuckling quietly, I nodded and divided our tokens before letting him go first. I liked going second better, actually. I was completely focused on the task at hand, and I blocked every single one of his moves. Neither of us could win this round, actually, so we reset it and went again, and thank god I beat him this time around. No way I could handle losing to him twice in a row.

I was locked in, sorta… okay, I was more distracted than usual. It wasn’t an excuse, though, she was just better than me at Connect Four. Cleaning up after that round, I smiled to myself and peered up at her with a chuckle. “It’s kind of hot when you beat me.”

Thank god we got to go to the Tony’s together, though. Between the performance and the winners having their moment, and talking to people I knew and also really admired, we had an amazing time. It was a long night, so I assumed that was why we went to bed early when we got home, but even after having been back in LA for a over a week, we didn’t have sex again. I hated dwelling on it, but I thought it was… weird. Besides, I wanted to be intimate with her. But she seemed fine. Like, I couldn’t figure out why we might’ve hit pause again. We could talk about it.

I sat straight up with renewed determination and told her she could take the first move. Biting back a grin, I followed up and then we went back and forth and I actually had a leg up on her at some point. Licking my lips in concentration, I set myself well before my last move before dropping in the fourth token in a row. “Game.”

He was so insanely adorable when he was deep in concentration, but I needed to stay vigilant. Stop staring, Jayma. Focusing my eyes on the board, I really thought I had it in the bag… until he dropped his piece and got four in a row. Oh, shit. I was embarrassed that I didn’t even realize he had a leg up on me, but thankfully I decided to keep my bra on when I got home earlier. After sighing dramatically, I tugged my shirt off over my head and tossed it at him. At least I knew now he’d be too distracted to win again.

“It’s a strip party,” I playfully woo’d as I took my shirt off too because this was a partnership and all. Taking her shirt, I put it on top of my head like a bandana and slid the bottom kick open. “One more round. You can redeem yourself,” I offered teasingly being the good boyfriend I was. I basically used whatever brain power I had left.

Thank god we got to go to the Tony’s together, though. Between the performance and the winners having their moment, and talking to people I knew and also really admired, we had an amazing time. It was a long night, so I assumed that was why we went to bed early when we got home, but even after having been back in LA for a over a week, we didn’t have sex again. I hated dwelling on it, but I thought it was… weird. Besides, I wanted to be intimate with her. But she seemed fine. Like, I couldn’t figure out why we might’ve hit pause again. We could talk about it.

I sat straight up with renewed determination and told her she could take the first move. Biting back a grin, I followed up and then we went back and forth and I actually had a leg up on her at some point. Licking my lips in concentration, I set myself well before my last move before dropping in the fourth token in a row. “Game.”

Thank god we got to go to the Tony’s together, though. Between the performance and the winners having their moment, and talking to people I knew and also really admired, we had an amazing time. It was a long night, so I assumed that was why we went to bed early when we got home, but even after having been back in LA for a over a week, we didn’t have sex again. I hated dwelling on it, but I thought it was… weird. Besides, I wanted to be intimate with her. But she seemed fine. Like, I couldn’t figure out why we might’ve hit pause again. We could talk about it.

“Yeah, I’m staying a while,” I chuckled softly against her temple and swayed to the side before we let go of each other. Draping my arm across her shoulders, I started walking with her. “So what did I interrupt?” Honestly I was surprised she wasn’t at a park or something, but I was glad obviously.

Smiling widely at the feeling of his lips against my head, I squeezed him again just because I could. It was really hot outside, so after a moment I opened the door and led him inside. “Nothing really, I only just got home like fifteen minutes ago.” He has impeccable timing. “What about you?”

“Beating myself up for not getting over here sooner.” I admitted honestly, not that it made me look better or anything, but I was so over it this morning. Pulling her onto the couch, I wrapped my arms around her and met her gaze. I had other plans, too. “I got a new chain for my bike and put it on.”

“Picked up an early shift this morning,” I explained as I nestled myself in his arms and got comfortable with him on the couch. For some reason, what he told me about his bike made me crack up—hey, if the small things in life made him happy, then I was happy for him. “I’m glad it didn’t fall off on your way here.”

“I know how to replace a bike chain.” I bit down on my lip and nudged her gently. “I’m glad too though, ‘cause I wasn’t walking all the way here,” I confessed. It was a lie, but she’d call me crazy anyway if I did. Snuggling up to her, I was glad I got my ass over here. “Fuck, I missed you.”

Chuckling quietly, I shrugged and nudged him back. I knew he knew how to replace a chain, but I liked messing with him too much. Besides, it wasn’t like it would be that unbelievable, since he wasn’t exactly the most handy guy around. “Yeah, you would. You like me,” I playfully chided him. I’d walk all the way to his place if I had to, even if I’d absolutely complain about it after. “Missed you too, handsome.”

I liked her. Yeah, we could put it like that. After a beat, I pursed my lips together teasingly and hummed. “Yeah, I keep telling myself that.” Shifting my gaze so that we locked eyes, I smiled faintly and captured her lips in a long kiss. Were a make up make outs a thing?

Playfully rolling my eyes, I shook my head at him but thought about how lucky I was that he did like me so much. No, loved me that much. My heart skipped a beat when he looked at me like that, like I was the most amazing thing he’d ever seen, and it made my stomach do flips too. He’d made me feel that way for years and I hoped he never stopped. I smiled against his lips and rested my hands on his arms, anchoring myself to him.

I groaned when she messed up not one, but two of the lines had forming with one move. “Knock it off.” I flicked one of my tokens across at her like I could afford to at that point. She was always a step ahead of me and it was so annoying. Taking another handful of the popcorn, I focused and dropped a token in an opposite column.

Sure enough, maybe about five minutes after we settled down on the rug with some popcorn, I was already about to beat him. Giggling at how annoyed he looked, I ducked away from the tokens and stuck my tongue out at him. “No way.” He was so cute when he was so focused, but it wasn’t enough to make me lose out on this game. After he dropped his piece, I dropped mine in the slot above and won. “Too easy. Are you even trying, Matty?”

Dropping my head back, I sighed dramatically and smiled in embarrassment. “Yeah. I just don’t want to beat you,” I replied dubiously as shifted my weight into my arm and cleared the board before sticking my tongue back at her. I definitely needed to step it up. “Okay, so what do I get if I win this next one?”

Thank god we got to go to the Tony’s together, though. Between the performance and the winners having their moment, and talking to people I knew and also really admired, we had an amazing time. It was a long night, so I assumed that was why we went to bed early when we got home, but even after having been back in LA for a over a week, we didn’t have sex again. I hated dwelling on it, but I thought it was… weird. Besides, I wanted to be intimate with her. But she seemed fine. Like, I couldn’t figure out why we might’ve hit pause again. We could talk about it.

“Yeah, I’m staying a while,” I chuckled softly against her temple and swayed to the side before we let go of each other. Draping my arm across her shoulders, I started walking with her. “So what did I interrupt?” Honestly I was surprised she wasn’t at a park or something, but I was glad obviously.

Smiling widely at the feeling of his lips against my head, I squeezed him again just because I could. It was really hot outside, so after a moment I opened the door and led him inside. “Nothing really, I only just got home like fifteen minutes ago.” He has impeccable timing. “What about you?”

“Beating myself up for not getting over here sooner.” I admitted honestly, not that it made me look better or anything, but I was so over it this morning. Pulling her onto the couch, I wrapped my arms around her and met her gaze. I had other plans, too. “I got a new chain for my bike and put it on.”

“Picked up an early shift this morning,” I explained as I nestled myself in his arms and got comfortable with him on the couch. For some reason, what he told me about his bike made me crack up—hey, if the small things in life made him happy, then I was happy for him. “I’m glad it didn’t fall off on your way here.”

“I know how to replace a bike chain.” I bit down on my lip and nudged her gently. “I’m glad too though, ‘cause I wasn’t walking all the way here,” I confessed. It was a lie, but she’d call me crazy anyway if I did. Snuggling up to her, I was glad I got my ass over here. “Fuck, I missed you.”

Chuckling quietly, I shrugged and nudged him back. I knew he knew how to replace a chain, but I liked messing with him too much. Besides, it wasn’t like it would be that unbelievable, since he wasn’t exactly the most handy guy around. “Yeah, you would. You like me,” I playfully chided him. I’d walk all the way to his place if I had to, even if I’d absolutely complain about it after. “Missed you too, handsome.”

I liked her. Yeah, we could put it like that. After a beat, I pursed my lips together teasingly and hummed. “Yeah, I keep telling myself that.” Shifting my gaze so that we locked eyes, I smiled faintly and captured her lips in a long kiss. Were a make up make outs a thing?

Playfully rolling my eyes, I shook my head at him but thought about how lucky I was that he did like me so much. No, loved me that much. My heart skipped a beat when he looked at me like that, like I was the most amazing thing he’d ever seen, and it made my stomach do flips too. He’d made me feel that way for years and I hoped he never stopped. I smiled against his lips and rested my hands on his arms, anchoring myself to him.

I groaned when she messed up not one, but two of the lines had forming with one move. “Knock it off.” I flicked one of my tokens across at her like I could afford to at that point. She was always a step ahead of me and it was so annoying. Taking another handful of the popcorn, I focused and dropped a token in an opposite column.

Thank god we got to go to the Tony’s together, though. Between the performance and the winners having their moment, and talking to people I knew and also really admired, we had an amazing time. It was a long night, so I assumed that was why we went to bed early when we got home, but even after having been back in LA for a over a week, we didn’t have sex again. I hated dwelling on it, but I thought it was… weird. Besides, I wanted to be intimate with her. But she seemed fine. Like, I couldn’t figure out why we might’ve hit pause again. We could talk about it.

“Yeah, I’m staying a while,” I chuckled softly against her temple and swayed to the side before we let go of each other. Draping my arm across her shoulders, I started walking with her. “So what did I interrupt?” Honestly I was surprised she wasn’t at a park or something, but I was glad obviously.

Smiling widely at the feeling of his lips against my head, I squeezed him again just because I could. It was really hot outside, so after a moment I opened the door and led him inside. “Nothing really, I only just got home like fifteen minutes ago.” He has impeccable timing. “What about you?”

“Beating myself up for not getting over here sooner.” I admitted honestly, not that it made me look better or anything, but I was so over it this morning. Pulling her onto the couch, I wrapped my arms around her and met her gaze. I had other plans, too. “I got a new chain for my bike and put it on.”

“Picked up an early shift this morning,” I explained as I nestled myself in his arms and got comfortable with him on the couch. For some reason, what he told me about his bike made me crack up—hey, if the small things in life made him happy, then I was happy for him. “I’m glad it didn’t fall off on your way here.”

“I know how to replace a bike chain.” I bit down on my lip and nudged her gently. “I’m glad too though, ‘cause I wasn’t walking all the way here,” I confessed. It was a lie, but she’d call me crazy anyway if I did. Snuggling up to her, I was glad I got my ass over here. “Fuck, I missed you.”

Chuckling quietly, I shrugged and nudged him back. I knew he knew how to replace a chain, but I liked messing with him too much. Besides, it wasn’t like it would be that unbelievable, since he wasn’t exactly the most handy guy around. “Yeah, you would. You like me,” I playfully chided him. I’d walk all the way to his place if I had to, even if I’d absolutely complain about it after. “Missed you too, handsome.”

I liked her. Yeah, we could put it like that. After a beat, I pursed my lips together teasingly and hummed. “Yeah, I keep telling myself that.” Shifting my gaze so that we locked eyes, I smiled faintly and captured her lips in a long kiss. Were a make up make outs a thing?

Thank god we got to go to the Tony’s together, though. Between the performance and the winners having their moment, and talking to people I knew and also really admired, we had an amazing time. It was a long night, so I assumed that was why we went to bed early when we got home, but even after having been back in LA for a over a week, we didn’t have sex again. I hated dwelling on it, but I thought it was… weird. Besides, I wanted to be intimate with her. But she seemed fine. Like, I couldn’t figure out why we might’ve hit pause again. We could talk about it.

“Yeah, I’m staying a while,” I chuckled softly against her temple and swayed to the side before we let go of each other. Draping my arm across her shoulders, I started walking with her. “So what did I interrupt?” Honestly I was surprised she wasn’t at a park or something, but I was glad obviously.

Smiling widely at the feeling of his lips against my head, I squeezed him again just because I could. It was really hot outside, so after a moment I opened the door and led him inside. “Nothing really, I only just got home like fifteen minutes ago.” He has impeccable timing. “What about you?”

“Beating myself up for not getting over here sooner.” I admitted honestly, not that it made me look better or anything, but I was so over it this morning. Pulling her onto the couch, I wrapped my arms around her and met her gaze. I had other plans, too. “I got a new chain for my bike and put it on.”

“Picked up an early shift this morning,” I explained as I nestled myself in his arms and got comfortable with him on the couch. For some reason, what he told me about his bike made me crack up—hey, if the small things in life made him happy, then I was happy for him. “I’m glad it didn’t fall off on your way here.”

“I know how to replace a bike chain.” I bit down on my lip and nudged her gently. “I’m glad too though, ‘cause I wasn’t walking all the way here,” I confessed. It was a lie, but she’d call me crazy anyway if I did. Snuggling up to her, I was glad I got my ass over here. “Fuck, I missed you.”

Thank god we got to go to the Tony’s together, though. Between the performance and the winners having their moment, and talking to people I knew and also really admired, we had an amazing time. It was a long night, so I assumed that was why we went to bed early when we got home, but even after having been back in LA for a over a week, we didn’t have sex again. I hated dwelling on it, but I thought it was… weird. Besides, I wanted to be intimate with her. But she seemed fine. Like, I couldn’t figure out why we might’ve hit pause again. We could talk about it.

“Yeah, I’m staying a while,” I chuckled softly against her temple and swayed to the side before we let go of each other. Draping my arm across her shoulders, I started walking with her. “So what did I interrupt?” Honestly I was surprised she wasn’t at a park or something, but I was glad obviously.

Smiling widely at the feeling of his lips against my head, I squeezed him again just because I could. It was really hot outside, so after a moment I opened the door and led him inside. “Nothing really, I only just got home like fifteen minutes ago.” He has impeccable timing. “What about you?”

“Beating myself up for not getting over here sooner.” I admitted honestly, not that it made me look better or anything, but I was so over it this morning. Pulling her onto the couch, I wrapped my arms around her and met her gaze. I had other plans, too. “I got a new chain for my bike and put it on.”

Thank god we got to go to the Tony’s together, though. Between the performance and the winners having their moment, and talking to people I knew and also really admired, we had an amazing time. It was a long night, so I assumed that was why we went to bed early when we got home, but even after having been back in LA for a over a week, we didn’t have sex again. I hated dwelling on it, but I thought it was… weird. Besides, I wanted to be intimate with her. But she seemed fine. Like, I couldn’t figure out why we might’ve hit pause again. We could talk about it.

“Yeah, I’m staying a while,” I chuckled softly against her temple and swayed to the side before we let go of each other. Draping my arm across her shoulders, I started walking with her. “So what did I interrupt?” Honestly I was surprised she wasn’t at a park or something, but I was glad obviously.

Thank god we got to go to the Tony’s together, though. Between the performance and the winners having their moment, and talking to people I knew and also really admired, we had an amazing time. It was a long night, so I assumed that was why we went to bed early when we got home, but even after having been back in LA for a over a week, we didn’t have sex again. I hated dwelling on it, but I thought it was… weird. Besides, I wanted to be intimate with her. But she seemed fine. Like, I couldn’t figure out why we might’ve hit pause again. We could talk about it.

I was worried now this was going to be a dealbreaker for us, but I also wondered why I didn’t see it coming sooner. I just needed a moment to get mg head on straight, but then she suggested I just leave. Wow, okay. Shaking my head, I closed her bedroom door and ended going home like she said.

Between him not getting off and now being annoyed, I didn’t think him sitting in my living room was going to fix anything. He’d still be moody later, I knew him well enough to know that. It was the only reason why I suggested he go home. It wasn’t like I wanted him to leave, but I didn’t want things to feel forced if he stayed. I didn’t think he’d actually go without another word, though. His huffiness made me feel shitty, but not as much as the sound of my front door shutting did. I wish I didn’t, but I cried after I heard him get on his bike outside. Sometimes I wondered if he cared as much as he said he did, and I hated that I even thought that way.

I texted her when I got home and few more times that week, but I didn’t actually get on my bike to see her until the day after I signed the papers to extend my lease six more months. I didn’t even know if she was home, but I was hoping I’d get lucky when I rang the buzzer to her apartment.

I’d just gotten home after an early shift at work when I heard my buzzer go off. It didn’t take a genius to figure out it was Matt. After buzzing him in, I met him at the door with a somewhat apprehensive smile. “What are you doing here?” He didn’t text me, I checked on my way to the door, so I was more than surprised that he was right here. I hoped it wasn’t for a bad reason.

I needed to have an honest conversation with myself first, though. And I was sorry for leaving that night. I knew she didn’t actually want me to and I went home anyway. I was supposed to be better at that kind of thing. “Can I come in?” I asked as I bit down on my lip.

I wouldn’t ever tell him he couldn’t come in, especially not after he biked here in this heat, so I nodded and opened the door wider. But as soon as he was close enough, I wrapped my arms around him in a tight hug. It’d been too long since I’d gotten to do that and I hated it. “Stop being a stranger,” I mumbled into his chest as I breathed him in.

“I’ll stop, I’ll stop.” Hugging her back, I put my helmet down and I slipped my arms around her middle and held her—I felt ten times better already, so I could imagine how she felt. “I love you so much.” I really, really did. I know I had shitty way of showing it sometimes.

I wasn’t exactly sure that I believed him, but I hoped he’d stop running away when things got too hard. That wasn’t going to fix anything. I needed to be better about following after him, though. Resting my chin on his shoulder, I nodded and squeezed him tight. “I love you too, Matty. So much.” No matter what happened, I hoped he knew that.

“I freaked out the other night. I shouldn’t have left,” I admitted apologetically and hoped she wouldn’t hold it against me even though she had every reason to. I just didn’t want to have to think about us not being able to be together because we both wanted to be in different places. And we did.

“It’s fine.” I tried to brush it off, because really it wasn’t the end of the world that he left. I think I needed to stop being so sensitive. I didn’t blame him for leaving, I probably would have done the same if I were him. And I mean, I pretty much did tell him to just go home. “I’m just glad you’re here, baby.”

Resting my hands on the small of her back, I licked my lips and eyed her skeptically for a moment, but no, if she said it was fine than I was going to let it go, too. “Me too,” I sighed against her lips and kissed her longingly—the past week was miserable. I was happy we were okay, you know, for the most part.

Thank god we got to go to the Tony’s together, though. Between the performance and the winners having their moment, and talking to people I knew and also really admired, we had an amazing time. It was a long night, so I assumed that was why we went to bed early when we got home, but even after having been back in LA for a over a week, we didn’t have sex again. I hated dwelling on it, but I thought it was… weird. Besides, I wanted to be intimate with her. But she seemed fine. Like, I couldn’t figure out why we might’ve hit pause again. We could talk about it.

I was worried now this was going to be a dealbreaker for us, but I also wondered why I didn’t see it coming sooner. I just needed a moment to get mg head on straight, but then she suggested I just leave. Wow, okay. Shaking my head, I closed her bedroom door and ended going home like she said.

Between him not getting off and now being annoyed, I didn’t think him sitting in my living room was going to fix anything. He’d still be moody later, I knew him well enough to know that. It was the only reason why I suggested he go home. It wasn’t like I wanted him to leave, but I didn’t want things to feel forced if he stayed. I didn’t think he’d actually go without another word, though. His huffiness made me feel shitty, but not as much as the sound of my front door shutting did. I wish I didn’t, but I cried after I heard him get on his bike outside. Sometimes I wondered if he cared as much as he said he did, and I hated that I even thought that way.

I texted her when I got home and few more times that week, but I didn’t actually get on my bike to see her until the day after I signed the papers to extend my lease six more months. I didn’t even know if she was home, but I was hoping I’d get lucky when I rang the buzzer to her apartment.

I’d just gotten home after an early shift at work when I heard my buzzer go off. It didn’t take a genius to figure out it was Matt. After buzzing him in, I met him at the door with a somewhat apprehensive smile. “What are you doing here?” He didn’t text me, I checked on my way to the door, so I was more than surprised that he was right here. I hoped it wasn’t for a bad reason.

I needed to have an honest conversation with myself first, though. And I was sorry for leaving that night. I knew she didn’t actually want me to and I went home anyway. I was supposed to be better at that kind of thing. “Can I come in?” I asked as I bit down on my lip.

I wouldn’t ever tell him he couldn’t come in, especially not after he biked here in this heat, so I nodded and opened the door wider. But as soon as he was close enough, I wrapped my arms around him in a tight hug. It’d been too long since I’d gotten to do that and I hated it. “Stop being a stranger,” I mumbled into his chest as I breathed him in.

“I’ll stop, I’ll stop.” Hugging her back, I put my helmet down and I slipped my arms around her middle and held her—I felt ten times better already, so I could imagine how she felt. “I love you so much.” I really, really did. I know I had shitty way of showing it sometimes.

I wasn’t exactly sure that I believed him, but I hoped he’d stop running away when things got too hard. That wasn’t going to fix anything. I needed to be better about following after him, though. Resting my chin on his shoulder, I nodded and squeezed him tight. “I love you too, Matty. So much.” No matter what happened, I hoped he knew that.

“I freaked out the other night. I shouldn’t have left,” I admitted apologetically and hoped she wouldn’t hold it against me even though she had every reason to. I just didn’t want to have to think about us not being able to be together because we both wanted to be in different places. And we did.

Thank god we got to go to the Tony’s together, though. Between the performance and the winners having their moment, and talking to people I knew and also really admired, we had an amazing time. It was a long night, so I assumed that was why we went to bed early when we got home, but even after having been back in LA for a over a week, we didn’t have sex again. I hated dwelling on it, but I thought it was… weird. Besides, I wanted to be intimate with her. But she seemed fine. Like, I couldn’t figure out why we might’ve hit pause again. We could talk about it.

I was worried now this was going to be a dealbreaker for us, but I also wondered why I didn’t see it coming sooner. I just needed a moment to get mg head on straight, but then she suggested I just leave. Wow, okay. Shaking my head, I closed her bedroom door and ended going home like she said.

Between him not getting off and now being annoyed, I didn’t think him sitting in my living room was going to fix anything. He’d still be moody later, I knew him well enough to know that. It was the only reason why I suggested he go home. It wasn’t like I wanted him to leave, but I didn’t want things to feel forced if he stayed. I didn’t think he’d actually go without another word, though. His huffiness made me feel shitty, but not as much as the sound of my front door shutting did. I wish I didn’t, but I cried after I heard him get on his bike outside. Sometimes I wondered if he cared as much as he said he did, and I hated that I even thought that way.

I texted her when I got home and few more times that week, but I didn’t actually get on my bike to see her until the day after I signed the papers to extend my lease six more months. I didn’t even know if she was home, but I was hoping I’d get lucky when I rang the buzzer to her apartment.

I’d just gotten home after an early shift at work when I heard my buzzer go off. It didn’t take a genius to figure out it was Matt. After buzzing him in, I met him at the door with a somewhat apprehensive smile. “What are you doing here?” He didn’t text me, I checked on my way to the door, so I was more than surprised that he was right here. I hoped it wasn’t for a bad reason.

I needed to have an honest conversation with myself first, though. And I was sorry for leaving that night. I knew she didn’t actually want me to and I went home anyway. I was supposed to be better at that kind of thing. “Can I come in?” I asked as I bit down on my lip.

I wouldn’t ever tell him he couldn’t come in, especially not after he biked here in this heat, so I nodded and opened the door wider. But as soon as he was close enough, I wrapped my arms around him in a tight hug. It’d been too long since I’d gotten to do that and I hated it. “Stop being a stranger,” I mumbled into his chest as I breathed him in.

“I’ll stop, I’ll stop.” Hugging her back, I put my helmet down and I slipped my arms around her middle and held her—I felt ten times better already, so I could imagine how she felt. “I love you so much.” I really, really did. I know I had shitty way of showing it sometimes.

Thank god we got to go to the Tony’s together, though. Between the performance and the winners having their moment, and talking to people I knew and also really admired, we had an amazing time. It was a long night, so I assumed that was why we went to bed early when we got home, but even after having been back in LA for a over a week, we didn’t have sex again. I hated dwelling on it, but I thought it was… weird. Besides, I wanted to be intimate with her. But she seemed fine. Like, I couldn’t figure out why we might’ve hit pause again. We could talk about it.

I was worried now this was going to be a dealbreaker for us, but I also wondered why I didn’t see it coming sooner. I just needed a moment to get mg head on straight, but then she suggested I just leave. Wow, okay. Shaking my head, I closed her bedroom door and ended going home like she said.

Between him not getting off and now being annoyed, I didn’t think him sitting in my living room was going to fix anything. He’d still be moody later, I knew him well enough to know that. It was the only reason why I suggested he go home. It wasn’t like I wanted him to leave, but I didn’t want things to feel forced if he stayed. I didn’t think he’d actually go without another word, though. His huffiness made me feel shitty, but not as much as the sound of my front door shutting did. I wish I didn’t, but I cried after I heard him get on his bike outside. Sometimes I wondered if he cared as much as he said he did, and I hated that I even thought that way.

I texted her when I got home and few more times that week, but I didn’t actually get on my bike to see her until the day after I signed the papers to extend my lease six more months. I didn’t even know if she was home, but I was hoping I’d get lucky when I rang the buzzer to her apartment.

I’d just gotten home after an early shift at work when I heard my buzzer go off. It didn’t take a genius to figure out it was Matt. After buzzing him in, I met him at the door with a somewhat apprehensive smile. “What are you doing here?” He didn’t text me, I checked on my way to the door, so I was more than surprised that he was right here. I hoped it wasn’t for a bad reason.

I needed to have an honest conversation with myself first, though. And I was sorry for leaving that night. I knew she didn’t actually want me to and I went home anyway. I was supposed to be better at that kind of thing. “Can I come in?” I asked as I bit down on my lip.

Thank god we got to go to the Tony’s together, though. Between the performance and the winners having their moment, and talking to people I knew and also really admired, we had an amazing time. It was a long night, so I assumed that was why we went to bed early when we got home, but even after having been back in LA for a over a week, we didn’t have sex again. I hated dwelling on it, but I thought it was… weird. Besides, I wanted to be intimate with her. But she seemed fine. Like, I couldn’t figure out why we might’ve hit pause again. We could talk about it.

I was worried now this was going to be a dealbreaker for us, but I also wondered why I didn’t see it coming sooner. I just needed a moment to get mg head on straight, but then she suggested I just leave. Wow, okay. Shaking my head, I closed her bedroom door and ended going home like she said.

Between him not getting off and now being annoyed, I didn’t think him sitting in my living room was going to fix anything. He’d still be moody later, I knew him well enough to know that. It was the only reason why I suggested he go home. It wasn’t like I wanted him to leave, but I didn’t want things to feel forced if he stayed. I didn’t think he’d actually go without another word, though. His huffiness made me feel shitty, but not as much as the sound of my front door shutting did. I wish I didn’t, but I cried after I heard him get on his bike outside. Sometimes I wondered if he cared as much as he said he did, and I hated that I even thought that way.

I texted her when I got home and few more times that week, but I didn’t actually get on my bike to see her until the day after I signed the papers to extend my lease six more months. I didn’t even know if she was home, but I was hoping I’d get lucky when I rang the buzzer to her apartment.

Thank god we got to go to the Tony’s together, though. Between the performance and the winners having their moment, and talking to people I knew and also really admired, we had an amazing time. It was a long night, so I assumed that was why we went to bed early when we got home, but even after having been back in LA for a over a week, we didn’t have sex again. I hated dwelling on it, but I thought it was… weird. Besides, I wanted to be intimate with her. But she seemed fine. Like, I couldn’t figure out why we might’ve hit pause again. We could talk about it.

I was worried now this was going to be a dealbreaker for us, but I also wondered why I didn’t see it coming sooner. I just needed a moment to get mg head on straight, but then she suggested I just leave. Wow, okay. Shaking my head, I closed her bedroom door and ended going home like she said.