Matcha Sashimi

a proposition

a proposition: accepted ᕯ

a proposition: exploration ᕯ

a proposition: a return ᕯ

a proposition: revenge ᕯ

a proposition: a departure ᕯ

a proposition: it’s getting serious ✼ ᕯ

james wiped his palms on his jeans, he felt like he was going to throw up. taking a deep breath before shrugging off his jacket and hanging it on the hook by the door, then dusting off his shirt.

pushing up his glasses as he walked down the hall toward the dining room. james stopped at the door way, taking in the room that was dimly lit with you sitting at your usual spot at the table with your back toward him. the left strap of your slip dress fallen from the top of your shoulder and now dangling loosely on your arm.

you turned to face him, a smile painted on your face. a beautiful smile at that. you were always beautiful no matter the day, no matter how hard he looked at you or how long. not to mention your personality was beautiful as well. so why was that not enough?

maybe he wasn’t caught, maybe this was his chance to tell her that what they were was wrong and needed to be stopped right this second but he knew if he had a choice he wouldn’t tell her.

“jamie” you said softly.

james smiled, his nickname made his nausea go away and his face tint pink.

“who is she?” you asked, smile still on your face.

his face fell immediately, nausea coming back instantly.

“what?” james stammered out, you turned back around and gestured to the chair next to you. james walked to it but didn’t sit, “who is she?” you repeated, cocking your head.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about” he muttered, slowly sitting in the chair and picking at his nails. you narrowed your eyes at him, and let out a short bitter laugh. “you’re a bad liar james. you get that from your father” you sighed, shaking your head in disappointment.

james swallowed thickly, he’d gone over this scenario a million times, more than a million and each time it left him with a headache. you’d find out, cry, be mad then you two would make up and he’d never do it, that was the fantasy, the ending being the only good part. it always ended in making up, he couldn’t stomach the other ways it could go.

you weren’t crying and it made james shudder, he couldn’t tell if it was a good thing because james didn’t know if he could stomach it but this wasn’t what happened in the fantasy, you were oddly calm.

“lily evans”

it was merely a choked whisper, almost not coming out at all.

tears in james’ eyes, he tried to blink them away. you laughed lightly, crossing your legs and playing with the silk of the slip dress. “the one from hogwarts?” you asked, looking at james and watching him fidget around with a frown on his face.

“yes. her” james sighed.

“did it feel good? you know after chasing her tail since we were young?” you said bitterly, trying to be as calm as you could.

james went to speak, his lip quivering and eyes red. “i know it must have, since you went back…again and again” you sighed watching james look down at the floor.

“i should’ve figured it out sooner. i mean now that i think about it, when we were at that dinner with your coworkers you couldn’t keep your eyes off her.” you said with a shrug.

you should’ve know and everyone told you this relationship would not end well, you refused to believe he settled for you since he couldn’t have lily but nonetheless it was true. james was always in lily’s grasp no matter if lily knew it or not.

james couldn’t wrap his head around why and how you were so calm, he sniffled, finally looking at you. “are you not mad?” james asked, voice cracking. “extremely, furious even but i think distraught would fit more accurately” you said looking down at your lap and taking a deep breath.

“but if i show it i think i’d be labeled a hypocrite”

james clenched his jaw, his breath stopping for a moment. his stomach turned.

“what…what does that mean?”

you looked up, meeting his eyes.

“i had sex with sirius before you got home” you admitted, “and honestly i want to say i did out of spite— to hurt you like you’ve been hurting me, but i did it because i wanted to and just because i wanted to” you added.

as soon as you found out you considered your relationship dead so maybe that’s why you could say that you fucked sirius so nonchalantly.

james brought his hands to face, crying silently. this was not how it was supposed to go. “i’m sorry” james mumbled.

“sorry will not fix this. i’m not gonna be dragged along while you’re fucking lily evans behind my back— or whatever it is you have going on with her.” you said, your voice breaking and now your eyes glossed over. “i will no longer gravel at your feet for you to love me just like how i did when we were at hogwarts and be your last resort” you added raising your voice.

you both sat in silence, him taking in your words and you fighting tears.

you couldn't stay in your apartment, you were going to lose your mind if you did.

you needed to talk to the one person who truly understood. someone who understood him.

you grabbed your coat, slipped out into the wet metropolis streets, and hailed a cab and gave the driver lois lane’s address.

you and lois had become incredibly close over the past year. you had joined the planet as a features writer a couple of years after clark and lois had officially ended their relationship.

because they were long broken up, there was no awkwardness... lois had taken you under her wing, becoming your mentor, your loudest cheerleader in the bullpen, and your closest friend.

by the time the cab pulled up to lois’s apartment building, you were blinking back furious, hurt tears. you took the elevator up, practically throwing yourself at her front door and knocking aggressively.

you heard footsteps inside, the lock clicked, and the door swung open.

lois stood there, dressed in a comfortable oversized sweater, a half empty glass of red wine in her hand. "y/n? what are you doing here? it's pouring-"

"i can't do it anymore, lois," you burst out, the words tumbling out of you in a sobbing rush before she could even invite you inside. you stepped past her into the entryway, too consumed by your own heartbreak to notice her sudden, tense posture.

"he canceled again," you cried, hugging your wet jacket tighter on you, shivering. "it’s always the same excuse. 'something came up at the office,' 'a late breaking lead.' i know he cares about his work, but i feel like a ghost in my own relationship! i'm sick of being the one who always gets left behind. i'm sick of competing with a job, and honestly... sometimes i feel like i'm competing with you."

you finally paused to catch your breath, wiping a tear from your cheek. "i just really needed a friend tonight. can i please just crash on your couch?"

usually by now lois would've said something, she would've made a joke or immediately handed you tissues or started calling clark an idiot, but there was nothing... no response.

"lois..?" your eyebrows pulled in.

"what?" she asked, her voice a little too high.

"why are you looking at me like that?"

"...like what?" lois muttered, she gripped the stem of her wine glass so tightly you thought the glass might shatter right in her hand.

"like..." you frowned harder. "like something's wrong."

"no, nothing's wrong."

but her eyes weren't on you, they were staring straight past your shoulder at the hall behind you.

"lois?" you whispered, stepping further into the hall. "is someone here? did i interrupt a date? i'm so sorry, i should have called-"

"no! no, wait.. " Lois reached out, her hand catching your wet sleeve, but she was a second too late.

you walked through the short hall and into the living room, the words of apology dying on your tongue.

a figure stepped into the dim light of the living room, drying his hair with a towel. he was wearing a gray t-shirt and sweatpants.. home clothes. comfort clothes.

he didn't have his glasses on. and as he looked up, his bright blue eyes met yours, freezing him entirely in his tracks.

it was Clark.

the towel slipped from his hand, hitting the hardwood floor with a dull thud.

“something came up at the planet, sweetie. a breaking story. i'm so, so sorry.”

the words of his text message flashed in your mind, your eyes darted from clark’s damp hair, to his relaxed clothes, to the second glass of wine sitting on lois's coffee table, and finally back to lois, who was now looking down at the floor, unable to meet your gaze.

"baby," clark breathed, his voice entirely stripped of its usual warmth. he took a panicked step forward, his hands reaching out instinctively. "baby, wait. It’s... it’s not what you think."

the sheer cliché of the phrase made a hysterical, breathless laugh bubble up in your throat. "not what i think? clark, you texted me an hour ago saying you were stuck at your desk. you’ve canceled our last three dates because of 'deadlines.' and you’re here? in your sweats?"

"you canceled on me," you said, your voice barely a whisper, "for three weeks, you’ve been too busy. you were too busy tonight. to have dinner with me. in our apartment."

"we were talking," lois interjected quickly, her voice trembling. she stepped between you and clark, trying desperately to play defense, to be the fixer. "just talking. he was stressed, he came over to vent about a case, and he got caught in the storm. i told him to dry off. that's it. I swear to you, that's all this is."

"and you couldn't tell me that?" you looked at lois, the tears you had been fighting finally falling. " i came here crying because i felt invisible in my own relationship, and you let me walk through that door knowing he was in your bedroom?"

"sweetheart, no," Clark choked out, stepping closer. "please. i love you. i would never- "

"don't call me that," you snapped, anger finally bursting through the sadness. a single, hot tear spilled over your cheek. you looked at lois, the woman you had trusted with your insecurities, the mentor you practically worshiped.

"i thought you were my friend. i thought you were the one person who understood how hard it was to love him."

a terrible, suffocating realization washed over you. lois did understand. she understood perfectly. because she hadn't actually let him go. and he hadn't let go of her. you were just a temporary detour in their romance.

"please, let me explain," clark pleaded, taking another step forward, his hands raised in defense. "lois is right. it’s not a date. i didn't plan this. it’s just… things have been so heavy lately, and i didn't want to bring that stress home to you."

the words left his mouth, and a suffocating silence fell over the room.

you stared at him, your breath hitching as you inhaled. "you didn't want to bring it home to me?" you muttered. "so you brought it to your ex girlfriend instead?"

"no, that's not what I meant...."

"you lied to me," you said. "you told me you were working. you told there was a breaking story, but the truth is you just didn't want to be around me. you left me sitting alone at a table with dinner i spent hours cooking, because you'd rather vent to lois?"

"listen to me," clark rushed out, his voice cracking as he scrambled to fix the damage, only to dig the hole deeper. "you don't understand the pressure I'm under. lois just... she already knows everything about my life.... she knows how i think. with her, i don't have to explain myself or ease into things. it’s just easier."

it’s just easier.

you let out a laugh. "easier," you repeated, backing away from him until your spine hit the wall of the hallway. "right. because i'm work. i'm the person you have to try for, and she's the one you actually want to unwind with."

"no! sweetie, please, no," clark choked out, looking completely undone. he reached for your arm, his touch gentle, but you yanked yourself away.

"don't touch me," you snapped again.

you gripped the fabric of your wet coat, looking at clark one last time. "have a nice night at the office, clark." you scoffed, turning around.

"sweetheart, please," clark begged, his voice breaking, "let's go home. let's just go back to the apartment and talk about this. please." he said as he made a move to follow you.

"if you come near me, clark, i swear to god i will never speak to you again," you spat, your voice harsh, that actually made him freeze in his tracks.

you would consider Clark Kent to be a long-time friend of yours, maybe even your closest friend, considering you had lost contact with your previous ones after graduating from university.

you both had been acquainted since childhood, but halted communication when you moved away from Smallville. however, your friendship soon rekindled when you both attended Metropolis University, as fate would have it, both majoring in journalism and both being given the opportunity to intern for the renowned Daily Planet News due to your previous academic success.

you knew everything there was to know about clark, all his quirks and mishaps, his likes and disinterests, as well as the big secret that he was the man of steel himself, Superman.

at least, you thought you knew everything anyway.

you stared at your phone as the unopened messages you had sent clark about his whereabouts for the past couple of days stared back at you, unmoving.

you had half the mind to think that he was out fighting some interdimensional being, which was a common occurrence, but still you couldn't help but feel anxiety creep up your spine as clark, being the sweetheart he was, would still inform you of his happenings even if that was mid-combat, which you had scrutinised him for in the past.

no one at the Daily Planet was aware of where clark had suddenly disappeared to either, only amplifying your unease.

you continued absentmindedly typing away on your keyboard as your mind insistedently wandered back to the gentle giant you had grown to become slightly codependent on, despite your reluctance to admit the reality of your relationship.

the work day was dragging as time seemed to stretch by more slowly with the absence of your beloved desk buddy, clark.

as soon as the large analogue clock displayed in the centre of the office arms ticked 5:00pm, you hastily made your exit, already packed to leave as you started a swift 15 minutes beforehand, muttering a quick goodbye to jimmy as you brushed passed him in your wake.

you beelined to clark's apartment complex, desperate for answers as you prayed you'd be greeted with his presence.

truth be told, your anxiety about the whole ordeal had you coming to the realisation how much you were attached to the man, you were of course in love with clark, how couldn't you be? he was so soft-spoken and kind and considerate and everything you'd ever want in a partner. of course clark was unaware of this; you wouldn't want to risk him possibly not reciprocating your feelings, leaving you all alone in the world, so you'd refer to him as like an older brother to others, as strange as it felt at times.

the commute had been a quick one as you approached clark's locked apartment door. your breath hitched as you halted all movement, idly standing by as your mind blanked.

well, now what?

fuck.

you were here now anyway.

you hesitated as your hand ascended, three shaky knocks thumped on the hardwood door.

clark woke in a sweat. azure eyes adjusting to the fading sunset, illuminating the large expanse of his room.

he groggily arose from his bed already in a foul mood, as this was the most amount of sleep he was able to garner in the last few days, all his senses being forced into overdrive as his rut clouded his mind.

his rut was an annual occurrence that caused him to retreat into hiding, his room acting as his own form of solitary confinement for the coming two weeks. he hated it. he hated the way he would become a shell of his former self, only thoughts of lust and malice occupying his thoughts.

his hostility was only heightened by the fact that this specific rut was unprecedented for this time of year, as well as seemingly more intense than usual, causing him to crawl into isolation unexpectedly despite how he prided himself on his excellent tracking and routine.

another series of quick knocks bombarded his front door, this time much more audible and much more aggressive.

clark's eye twitched in irritation as he lifted himself from his bed, only donning a pair of black boxer briefs as he stormed towards the front door.

he knew you were the one knocking because who else would it be?

clark wasn't necessarily angered by this. in normal circumstances, he would be overjoyed, a fumbling mess of words as he'd swing open the door, a pink dust planting his features at the thought of you standing outside alone.

the object of his adoration.

clark was irrevocably and hopelessly in love with you.

but as he harshly swung open the chained door ajar just enough to peek his head out, you would've never guessed by the look of hostility in his eyes, causing you to slightly flinch back in shock.

"clar—"

"what?" clark interrupted, coldly and bluntly.

you blinked up at him, his eyes dark and emotionless.

he was unrecognisable to the man you were familiar with.

"i just-" you started, twisting your features, but soon twisting into one of annoyance.

"where the fuck have you been? why've you been ignoring my-"

"busy," clark interjected as he started to close the door as quickly as the interaction was.

you unconsciously put your foot in the door in an attempt to keep it ajar for longer, whincing at the pressure.

a look of concern flashed across clark's face as he hastily swung the door back open, the chain halting it from being swung back any further.

"gosh- y/n are you—"

"let me in", you cut clark off bluntly, masking the shooting pain in your right foot with coldness.

clark blinked back at you before he reluctantly unchained the door, letting you in with a grunt as you shoved past him.

clark shut the door, turning towards you as you were now glaring daggers at him.

"the fuck is with you?" you quizzed, eyeing the muscular man up and down for a little longer than intended, taking in his dishevelled half-naked form and very prominent bulge.

clark's eyebrows seemed to be in a permanent scowl as his eyes darted to anything but you to stop himself from undressing you with his eyes. you seriously shouldn't be here right now because clark knew if he snapped, nothing would stop him from taking you right there and then in the most disrespectful of ways.

"helloooo?" you snapped your fingers in his face "what's your issue?"

"i have no issue."

"then why are you actively trying to phase me out of your life"

"you're being dramatic", clark retorted

you froze as your eye twitched.

"me?" you quizzed as you took slow, predatory steps towards the giant, blood boiling in your veins.

"you're the one acting like a little bitch, clark. you won't even fucking look at me, you coward!"

clark's wandering eyes finally set their sights on, and you shivered as the cold, icy stare he harboured seemingly went right through you.

"listen to me and listen closely, y/n, i'm going to need you to get the fuck out of my site for your own good, okay?"

you knew clark, so you knew that he rarely ever cursed, especially in situations regarding you, indirectly or not.

you felt your heart sink. you didnt know why clark was acting the way he was and you knew for whatever reason, the warning he gave was probably with good reason, but your ego couldn't accept clark's entire rejection of your presence, it felt as if he was completely shutting you down and in a weird twist of fate, as if he could see how your heart bled for him and dismissed any feelings of love you harboured towards him.

you felt yourself breaking down as waves of confusion and vulnerability consumed you, and you'd rather swallow glass than let him see how much his words affected you.

but he could see. the way you stiffened and how your eyes slightly glossed over were telltale signs. the rational side of clark wanted to comfort you, hold you close as he whispered how sorry he was for his unnecessarily cruel treatment towards you, leaving chaste kisses in his wake.

but the feral side of clark wanted all but to see how pretty you'd cry being split in half on his cock.

"i hate you, clark kent'', you muttered breathlessly.

the words hung in the air, ringing throughout the silent hallways.

clark's eyes widened slightly before his spine went rigid.

"fuck you", you said as you attempted to charge past the man towards the door.

you raised your hand reaching for the doorknob until you felt a firm grip encase your wrist. before you even had time to snap at the man once more, he pulled you into his broad chest before slightly craning his neck down to ear level.

"i warned you", he whispered.

that was all he gave you before you were transported into his room in a blur.

he threw you onto his bed as if you were a rag doll, the whiplash causing you to slightly keel over in an attempt to catch your breath.

you were terrified. you had never seen this side of clark.

your heart was practically a lump in your throat as he took predatory, looming steps towards your dishevelled form.

he began carelessly, aggressively pulling your work attire from your body, stripping you despite the audible tears in the seam work.

"wait clark—"

"you have no idea how long I've been trying to be good, trying to keep my distance, but no, you decided to stupidly come to me, right?"

you stammered, trying to decipher what the fuck he was talking about?

you were now in your undergarments.

"please.."

"please, what? I fucking told you to leave, but you didn't listen. your unnecessary persistence is gonna be your own undoing, doll."

he climbed onto your limp body, shoving his face into your neck and taking a deep inhale of your saccharine smell.

he let out an audible groan, barely containing himself as he left open-mouth kisses down your jugular. you whimpered when you felt him leaving harsh sucks to your neck, surely leaving bruises for the world to bear witness to tomorrow.

"I'll go clark i swear, p-please just stop, you're gonna leave marks and everyone at work-"

"you're telling me this as if I care?" clark interjected.

"let them see," he replied coldly.

"let them see how your older brother's ruined you for anyone else."

you stiffened.

"that's all, i am right? just like a big brother to you, hm?"

you gasped as you felt him bite down on your neck, whining when he sank his sharp canines into the soft flesh.

you didn't know how to respond. was that why he was mad? you had been referring to clark as an older brother since pre-teens in a weak attempt to stop constant teasing from other classmates. why was he getting mad now all of a sudden?

before you had time to even question the man, you felt your bra being torn off your body.

"fuck yes", clark groaned as he marvelled at your breasts, saliva barely being compelled to stay in his mouth.

he immediately dove into harsh sucks of your sensitive nipples, making you let out a choked-out whine as his other hand fumbled to pull your other erect nipple taut, kneading the fat of your tits as he encased a tit in his warm, hot mouth.

you felt him nudging against your pussy as he rutted into you, humping you dry.

he pulled off your nipple with an audible pop, letting out a groan at how he marked your chest.

"mmf can't wait any longer", clark slurred as the ordeal only seemed to work him up more than expected.

he hastily removed his box briefs, exposing all 8 thick inches of his dick, making you gasp.

clark seemed to analyse your facial expressions as you took him in, and he came to the conclusion that you were absolutely terrified.

this was further solidified as you crawled up the bed in a feeble attempt to escape the oncoming assault.

"don't you dare try running from me", clark commanded as his large hands encased your ankles, dragging you back down the bed until your cunt was flushed with his heavy dick, causing you to squeal.

clark angled his angry, red tip directly at your slick-covered hole that pulsated, awaiting the intrusion.

"clarkie, please.."

clarkie, being the childhood nickname that you bestowed upon him.

"you're being mean."

you were still met with that icy gaze you were becoming to grown acustom to.

"am i, am i being mean?" clark replied before he thrust his length into your weeping hole, letting out an audible growl as your warm, tight walls encased his length, stretching to accommodate his thick cock.

"FUCKK", you screamed as you weren't given a second longer to adjust to his inhuman size.

clark's hand snaked upwards, enveloping your neck as he began a brutal pace, splitting you on his cock

"such a fucking sluut making me wait this damn long", he slurred, heavy balls slapping against your pussy.

"oh my godd clark i-i can—"

"yes you can fucking— take it!" clark emphasised with a harsh thrust, splitting you on his cock.

your mind became a haze as you began to stupify on his dick, his bruising pace making you let out unabashedly loud moans as you continued to suck him in, pussy walls contracting around him, making him groan.

"shiiiit you're tight sweetheart, feels s'ffucking good hnnmghf" clark blabbered as his eyes rolled back, your pussy being his only relief in the last brutally long days.

"you feel me, don't you? you can you feel me riiiight— here," clark let his palm press down on the bulge that appeared in your lower abdomen, making you scream at the pressure.

"NNGH PLEASSSE CLARKIE, I C-CAN'T—"

"yeah, you can't, baby, can't do fucking anything right, can you? such a stupid little thing, aren't you?" he groaned into your ear.

his degrading words, as cruel as they were, made you whine as a gush of slick spilt from your sore pussy.

"yeah, that's right, baby, stay quiet for daddy, slut. let me have this," clark groaned as he continued to ravage your poor cunt for his own pleasure, spearheading his cock deeper into your sensitive soft spot.

between clark's unrelenting grip of your neck and the inhuman speed, you felt as if you were going to pass out from the blinding pleasure as you continued moaning like a whore.

clark was moaning just as much as you, the sweet relief of pleasure clouding his mind.

"keep squeezing- j-just like that, baby mffm g-golly gonna get you pregnant— make you a mommy, y-you want it too, dont'cha?" clark babbled as his pace sped up impossibly more.

"yesyesyesyesss" you slurred, mind breaking from the ludicrous amount of stimulation you were feeling all at once "brreed mee clarkiee!"

at your words, clark's eyes rolled back as he let out a feral animalistic growl, shooting rope after white, scalding rope into your pussy. clark's orgasm triggered your own as you began seizing, squirting geysers of slick onto his bed sheets with a loud, pornographic moan of clark's name.

as soon as the last long rope of cum was shot into your achy cunt, clark collapsed on top of you, pressing your sore body into his mattress.

your breathing began to stabilise as you inhaled copious amounts of air, not realising how out of breath the ordeal had left you.

"y/n.." you heard clark weakly mumble, cutting the brief silence short.

"yes, clark," you replied, still dazed and out of breath.

"i'm so so sorry", he apologised, face still tucked into your neck. you began forming a reply.

that's until you felt his dick twitching back to life as his arms scooped your thighs upwards, forcing you into a mean mating press.

this was just the beginning.

directly after the end of clark's long and drawn-out brutal Kryptonian rut, he dropped to his knees apologising for your forgiveness and mercy. explaining how his rut had made him have a heightened sex drive as well as a hostile, feral nature he couldn't contain.

you wanted to let him wallow in his sorrow for a bit longer than intended, but the way clark would follow you around, head bowed, and a teary, snivelling mess, unfortunately tugged at your resolve.

as well as the fact he would show up to work, eyes red and irritated from crying, and hair a dishevelled wreck, causing whispers from the entire office wondering what had occurred to trigger his current state.

despite all things considered, you still loved the man but you made sure to thoroughly scolded him on his lack of communication, emphasising how you would've helped him if you knew about his this part of his Kryptonian biology instead of him having to push you away.

overjoyed, he turned into a blubbering mess, confessing all his pent-up feelings to you as he cried in your arms as you were both perched on his couch one evening.

from then on, you two had officially begun going out to no one's shock.

and when the next annual rut came rolling around, you were prepared for the best, most degrading, mind-blowing sex of your life.

a/n: ive been mulling about the ending for some hours now and this was all i got im sorry guys i was genuinely at a loss ik its sloppy but i didnt wanna end it at the sex scene because erm idk closure anyway hope you enjoyed this shit show, ik i didnt! mwah! glad to be back

you would consider Clark Kent to be a long-time friend of yours, maybe even your closest friend, considering you had lost contact with your previous ones after graduating from university.

you both had been acquainted since childhood, but halted communication when you moved away from Smallville. however, your friendship soon rekindled when you both attended Metropolis University, as fate would have it, both majoring in journalism and both being given the opportunity to intern for the renowned Daily Planet News due to your previous academic success.

you knew everything there was to know about clark, all his quirks and mishaps, his likes and disinterests, as well as the big secret that he was the man of steel himself, Superman.

at least, you thought you knew everything anyway.

you stared at your phone as the unopened messages you had sent clark about his whereabouts for the past couple of days stared back at you, unmoving.

you had half the mind to think that he was out fighting some interdimensional being, which was a common occurrence, but still you couldn't help but feel anxiety creep up your spine as clark, being the sweetheart he was, would still inform you of his happenings even if that was mid-combat, which you had scrutinised him for in the past.

no one at the Daily Planet was aware of where clark had suddenly disappeared to either, only amplifying your unease.

you continued absentmindedly typing away on your keyboard as your mind insistedently wandered back to the gentle giant you had grown to become slightly codependent on, despite your reluctance to admit the reality of your relationship.

the work day was dragging as time seemed to stretch by more slowly with the absence of your beloved desk buddy, clark.

as soon as the large analogue clock displayed in the centre of the office arms ticked 5:00pm, you hastily made your exit, already packed to leave as you started a swift 15 minutes beforehand, muttering a quick goodbye to jimmy as you brushed passed him in your wake.

you beelined to clark's apartment complex, desperate for answers as you prayed you'd be greeted with his presence.

truth be told, your anxiety about the whole ordeal had you coming to the realisation how much you were attached to the man, you were of course in love with clark, how couldn't you be? he was so soft-spoken and kind and considerate and everything you'd ever want in a partner. of course clark was unaware of this; you wouldn't want to risk him possibly not reciprocating your feelings, leaving you all alone in the world, so you'd refer to him as like an older brother to others, as strange as it felt at times.

the commute had been a quick one as you approached clark's locked apartment door. your breath hitched as you halted all movement, idly standing by as your mind blanked.

well, now what?

fuck.

you were here now anyway.

you hesitated as your hand ascended, three shaky knocks thumped on the hardwood door.

clark woke in a sweat. azure eyes adjusting to the fading sunset, illuminating the large expanse of his room.

he groggily arose from his bed already in a foul mood, as this was the most amount of sleep he was able to garner in the last few days, all his senses being forced into overdrive as his rut clouded his mind.

his rut was an annual occurrence that caused him to retreat into hiding, his room acting as his own form of solitary confinement for the coming two weeks. he hated it. he hated the way he would become a shell of his former self, only thoughts of lust and malice occupying his thoughts.

his hostility was only heightened by the fact that this specific rut was unprecedented for this time of year, as well as seemingly more intense than usual, causing him to crawl into isolation unexpectedly despite how he prided himself on his excellent tracking and routine.

another series of quick knocks bombarded his front door, this time much more audible and much more aggressive.

clark's eye twitched in irritation as he lifted himself from his bed, only donning a pair of black boxer briefs as he stormed towards the front door.

he knew you were the one knocking because who else would it be?

clark wasn't necessarily angered by this. in normal circumstances, he would be overjoyed, a fumbling mess of words as he'd swing open the door, a pink dust planting his features at the thought of you standing outside alone.

the object of his adoration.

clark was irrevocably and hopelessly in love with you.

but as he harshly swung open the chained door ajar just enough to peek his head out, you would've never guessed by the look of hostility in his eyes, causing you to slightly flinch back in shock.

"clar—"

"what?" clark interrupted, coldly and bluntly.

you blinked up at him, his eyes dark and emotionless.

he was unrecognisable to the man you were familiar with.

"i just-" you started, twisting your features, but soon twisting into one of annoyance.

"where the fuck have you been? why've you been ignoring my-"

"busy," clark interjected as he started to close the door as quickly as the interaction was.

you unconsciously put your foot in the door in an attempt to keep it ajar for longer, whincing at the pressure.

a look of concern flashed across clark's face as he hastily swung the door back open, the chain halting it from being swung back any further.

"gosh- y/n are you—"

"let me in", you cut clark off bluntly, masking the shooting pain in your right foot with coldness.

clark blinked back at you before he reluctantly unchained the door, letting you in with a grunt as you shoved past him.

clark shut the door, turning towards you as you were now glaring daggers at him.

"the fuck is with you?" you quizzed, eyeing the muscular man up and down for a little longer than intended, taking in his dishevelled half-naked form and very prominent bulge.

clark's eyebrows seemed to be in a permanent scowl as his eyes darted to anything but you to stop himself from undressing you with his eyes. you seriously shouldn't be here right now because clark knew if he snapped, nothing would stop him from taking you right there and then in the most disrespectful of ways.

"helloooo?" you snapped your fingers in his face "what's your issue?"

"i have no issue."

"then why are you actively trying to phase me out of your life"

"you're being dramatic", clark retorted

you froze as your eye twitched.

"me?" you quizzed as you took slow, predatory steps towards the giant, blood boiling in your veins.

"you're the one acting like a little bitch, clark. you won't even fucking look at me, you coward!"

clark's wandering eyes finally set their sights on, and you shivered as the cold, icy stare he harboured seemingly went right through you.

"listen to me and listen closely, y/n, i'm going to need you to get the fuck out of my site for your own good, okay?"

you knew clark, so you knew that he rarely ever cursed, especially in situations regarding you, indirectly or not.

you felt your heart sink. you didnt know why clark was acting the way he was and you knew for whatever reason, the warning he gave was probably with good reason, but your ego couldn't accept clark's entire rejection of your presence, it felt as if he was completely shutting you down and in a weird twist of fate, as if he could see how your heart bled for him and dismissed any feelings of love you harboured towards him.

you felt yourself breaking down as waves of confusion and vulnerability consumed you, and you'd rather swallow glass than let him see how much his words affected you.

but he could see. the way you stiffened and how your eyes slightly glossed over were telltale signs. the rational side of clark wanted to comfort you, hold you close as he whispered how sorry he was for his unnecessarily cruel treatment towards you, leaving chaste kisses in his wake.

but the feral side of clark wanted all but to see how pretty you'd cry being split in half on his cock.

"i hate you, clark kent'', you muttered breathlessly.

the words hung in the air, ringing throughout the silent hallways.

clark's eyes widened slightly before his spine went rigid.

"fuck you", you said as you attempted to charge past the man towards the door.

you raised your hand reaching for the doorknob until you felt a firm grip encase your wrist. before you even had time to snap at the man once more, he pulled you into his broad chest before slightly craning his neck down to ear level.

"i warned you", he whispered.

that was all he gave you before you were transported into his room in a blur.

he threw you onto his bed as if you were a rag doll, the whiplash causing you to slightly keel over in an attempt to catch your breath.

you were terrified. you had never seen this side of clark.

your heart was practically a lump in your throat as he took predatory, looming steps towards your dishevelled form.

he began carelessly, aggressively pulling your work attire from your body, stripping you despite the audible tears in the seam work.

"wait clark—"

"you have no idea how long I've been trying to be good, trying to keep my distance, but no, you decided to stupidly come to me, right?"

you stammered, trying to decipher what the fuck he was talking about?

you were now in your undergarments.

"please.."

"please, what? I fucking told you to leave, but you didn't listen. your unnecessary persistence is gonna be your own undoing, doll."

he climbed onto your limp body, shoving his face into your neck and taking a deep inhale of your saccharine smell.

he let out an audible groan, barely containing himself as he left open-mouth kisses down your jugular. you whimpered when you felt him leaving harsh sucks to your neck, surely leaving bruises for the world to bear witness to tomorrow.

"I'll go clark i swear, p-please just stop, you're gonna leave marks and everyone at work-"

"you're telling me this as if I care?" clark interjected.

"let them see," he replied coldly.

"let them see how your older brother's ruined you for anyone else."

you stiffened.

"that's all, i am right? just like a big brother to you, hm?"

you gasped as you felt him bite down on your neck, whining when he sank his sharp canines into the soft flesh.

you didn't know how to respond. was that why he was mad? you had been referring to clark as an older brother since pre-teens in a weak attempt to stop constant teasing from other classmates. why was he getting mad now all of a sudden?

before you had time to even question the man, you felt your bra being torn off your body.

"fuck yes", clark groaned as he marvelled at your breasts, saliva barely being compelled to stay in his mouth.

he immediately dove into harsh sucks of your sensitive nipples, making you let out a choked-out whine as his other hand fumbled to pull your other erect nipple taut, kneading the fat of your tits as he encased a tit in his warm, hot mouth.

you felt him nudging against your pussy as he rutted into you, humping you dry.

he pulled off your nipple with an audible pop, letting out a groan at how he marked your chest.

"mmf can't wait any longer", clark slurred as the ordeal only seemed to work him up more than expected.

he hastily removed his box briefs, exposing all 8 thick inches of his dick, making you gasp.

clark seemed to analyse your facial expressions as you took him in, and he came to the conclusion that you were absolutely terrified.

this was further solidified as you crawled up the bed in a feeble attempt to escape the oncoming assault.

"don't you dare try running from me", clark commanded as his large hands encased your ankles, dragging you back down the bed until your cunt was flushed with his heavy dick, causing you to squeal.

clark angled his angry, red tip directly at your slick-covered hole that pulsated, awaiting the intrusion.

"clarkie, please.."

clarkie, being the childhood nickname that you bestowed upon him.

"you're being mean."

you were still met with that icy gaze you were becoming to grown acustom to.

"am i, am i being mean?" clark replied before he thrust his length into your weeping hole, letting out an audible growl as your warm, tight walls encased his length, stretching to accommodate his thick cock.

"FUCKK", you screamed as you weren't given a second longer to adjust to his inhuman size.

clark's hand snaked upwards, enveloping your neck as he began a brutal pace, splitting you on his cock

"such a fucking sluut making me wait this damn long", he slurred, heavy balls slapping against your pussy.

"oh my godd clark i-i can—"

"yes you can fucking— take it!" clark emphasised with a harsh thrust, splitting you on his cock.

your mind became a haze as you began to stupify on his dick, his bruising pace making you let out unabashedly loud moans as you continued to suck him in, pussy walls contracting around him, making him groan.

"shiiiit you're tight sweetheart, feels s'ffucking good hnnmghf" clark blabbered as his eyes rolled back, your pussy being his only relief in the last brutally long days.

"you feel me, don't you? you can you feel me riiiight— here," clark let his palm press down on the bulge that appeared in your lower abdomen, making you scream at the pressure.

"NNGH PLEASSSE CLARKIE, I C-CAN'T—"

"yeah, you can't, baby, can't do fucking anything right, can you? such a stupid little thing, aren't you?" he groaned into your ear.

his degrading words, as cruel as they were, made you whine as a gush of slick spilt from your sore pussy.

"yeah, that's right, baby, stay quiet for daddy, slut. let me have this," clark groaned as he continued to ravage your poor cunt for his own pleasure, spearheading his cock deeper into your sensitive soft spot.

between clark's unrelenting grip of your neck and the inhuman speed, you felt as if you were going to pass out from the blinding pleasure as you continued moaning like a whore.

clark was moaning just as much as you, the sweet relief of pleasure clouding his mind.

"keep squeezing- j-just like that, baby mffm g-golly gonna get you pregnant— make you a mommy, y-you want it too, dont'cha?" clark babbled as his pace sped up impossibly more.

"yesyesyesyesss" you slurred, mind breaking from the ludicrous amount of stimulation you were feeling all at once "brreed mee clarkiee!"

at your words, clark's eyes rolled back as he let out a feral animalistic growl, shooting rope after white, scalding rope into your pussy. clark's orgasm triggered your own as you began seizing, squirting geysers of slick onto his bed sheets with a loud, pornographic moan of clark's name.

as soon as the last long rope of cum was shot into your achy cunt, clark collapsed on top of you, pressing your sore body into his mattress.

your breathing began to stabilise as you inhaled copious amounts of air, not realising how out of breath the ordeal had left you.

"y/n.." you heard clark weakly mumble, cutting the brief silence short.

"yes, clark," you replied, still dazed and out of breath.

"i'm so so sorry", he apologised, face still tucked into your neck. you began forming a reply.

that's until you felt his dick twitching back to life as his arms scooped your thighs upwards, forcing you into a mean mating press.

this was just the beginning.

directly after the end of clark's long and drawn-out brutal Kryptonian rut, he dropped to his knees apologising for your forgiveness and mercy. explaining how his rut had made him have a heightened sex drive as well as a hostile, feral nature he couldn't contain.

you wanted to let him wallow in his sorrow for a bit longer than intended, but the way clark would follow you around, head bowed, and a teary, snivelling mess, unfortunately tugged at your resolve.

as well as the fact he would show up to work, eyes red and irritated from crying, and hair a dishevelled wreck, causing whispers from the entire office wondering what had occurred to trigger his current state.

despite all things considered, you still loved the man but you made sure to thoroughly scolded him on his lack of communication, emphasising how you would've helped him if you knew about his this part of his Kryptonian biology instead of him having to push you away.

overjoyed, he turned into a blubbering mess, confessing all his pent-up feelings to you as he cried in your arms as you were both perched on his couch one evening.

from then on, you two had officially begun going out to no one's shock.

and when the next annual rut came rolling around, you were prepared for the best, most degrading, mind-blowing sex of your life.

a/n: ive been mulling about the ending for some hours now and this was all i got im sorry guys i was genuinely at a loss ik its sloppy but i didnt wanna end it at the sex scene because erm idk closure anyway hope you enjoyed this shit show, ik i didnt! mwah! glad to be back

with no witnesses, clark lifts all of your luggage to bring inside without breaking a sweat. you sigh as you contemplate the chaos that'll most likely ensue at the avengers compound for the fourth of july weekend.

—

a month ago, natasha romanoff had arrived in your tiny box of an apartment in metropolis without even a text of warning. it would've been something you appreciated since clark had you on your kitchen counter, gently pressing you with a hungry kiss against the overhead cabinets as dinner burned on the stove. his broad frame was settled nicely between your thighs, his lips gliding down your jaw and neck before the apartment door swings open as if the intruder had a key—

"whoops. didn't know you had company."

you gasped and peeked over clark's shoulder who instinctively tried to shield you from natasha in all her sardonic glory. "nat—?!" you had wriggled away despite clark's insistence, ducking beneath his strong arm to meet your friend in your living room. "what are you doing here? is everything okay—"

"everything's fine," nat had cut in, her sharp gaze taking in clark behind you who looks more like guard dog than protective fiance at the moment. "i just wanted to drop in. i should've called though, that was on me…"

warmth bleeds into your back when clark had stepped forward, a silent wall of support behind you. he's not unaware of your past, of your healing powers that pulled you into nick fury's orbit. while you were never made into an avenger, you were the support they all needed whether it was to be healed or just to be around someone normal. it was about a couple years ago that you finally left new york, starting fresh in metropolis as a nurse. steve had been kind enough to help the move in process a lot more smooth than it would've been alone.

"um— sorry. nat, this is clark kent, my fiance. clark, this is nat, one of my closest friends from new york although i'm rescinding that title after her break in tonight," you sigh as you wave a hand between both.

clark's still a gentleman through and through, even in the face of superspies that like to cross boundaries, and shakes nat's hand before his hand returns to your waist. "what's the occasion?"

"tony's throwing a fourth of july-slash-steve's-birthday weekend barbecue, thought our favorite nurse would like to come," nat smiles. "you can bring superman over here."

clark chokes on his spit. "i— what? i'm not— no, he's—"

you pat his chest. "honey, nat knows everything, it's literally her job. don't worry, your secret's safe with her. and i don't know, clark and i were gonna just stay in."

"sounds like fun," he cuts in and that little smile, dimple and all, knows you're about to lose this one. "i haven't gotten the chance to meet your friends, sweetheart."

every argument you have dies in the face of your fiance's eager expression and you sigh quietly to meet natasha's triumphant little grin. "yeah, okay. we'll be there. is it at the compound?"

"yeah, there's your usual room—"

"no, clark and i wouldn't wanna intrude. we'll find an airbnb or something." there's an edge to your tone that leaves no room for negotiation and natasha has enough sense to back off, nodding as she starts to head out.

when the door shuts, you groan into clark's chest who rumbles in sweet amusement as he rubs your back. "superman meeting the avengers… what can go wrong."

—

a lot of things went wrong upon entering the cabin. for one, there aren't any furniture. two, there isn't any running water. frustration begins to build but before it can erupt out of you, clark's cupping your cheek to kiss your forehead and your phone starts to ring.

"stark."

"hey, kid. don't be stubborn and bring supes on over to the compound, your room's all ready for you."

"i hate you, tony."

"no, you don't. although this confirmed my theory."

you pause. "what theory?"

"you got a thing for goody two shoes. tell me— does kent say 'language' during your rated-r rants?"

you hang up the call, cutting off tony's obnoxious laughter on the other end.

—

now that the both of you are on avengers' property, your privacy is all but secured against the general public so clark had seen no issue in just flying you and your luggage over. it's a bit unsettling to see him fly in his civilian clothes but you cling to him all the same, carried bridal style while the luggage hang from his hands. you aren't sure how he isn't losing his grip but you land in the open bay where natasha and steve is waiting to greet the both of you.

the luggage are set down first, clark still hovering and once his hands are free, his feet land with you still securely in his arms. "clark?" you prompt and your adorable, beefcake of a fiance startles as he reluctantly sets you down while nat and steve approach.

"miss romanoff," clark tips his head in polite greeting but then his voice drops slightly, taking on the 'superman' voice when he turns to steve. "captain, happy birthday."

"thank you, superman," steve greets as he offers his hand. clark takes it with a solid 'clap' and a firm shake. your eyes flitter between each of them in slight anticipation because in this moment, it isn't superman and captain america facing off.

it's clark kent and steve rogers with you caught right in the middle.

something lights up in natasha's eyes and you suddenly fear for the weekend ahead.

—

fortunately, the main living space of the compound is cleared of any superheroes in favor of setting up for the outside where the main party's happening. it leaves you and clark the space to settle in and when you step in your old room, nostalgia feels like a punch to the gut.

it's still the open space layout as before, patterned after a luxury studio apartment with your own mini kitchenette. cold and impersonal for the first few minutes of stepping in but then clark walks past you to set your luggage in, his large frame somehow bringing light to the place you could barely call home. when he turns to you, gives you that smile that you've fallen so hard for, it feels like you're back in metropolis. "what?"

you shake your head with a smile, step into clark's space and giggle at the blush that he never can tamp down when you're near, and kiss his dimple. "nothing. i just love you."

"love you too, honey."

—

after changing into something more comfortable (and doesn't smell like plane) over your bathing suits, you and clark walk hand in hand towards the noise that crests and wanes from the other side of the compound. where there had been an open field meant for training (specifically for any flight simulations or volatile powers that should not be indoors), it's been fashioned into an americana-esque backyard with an actual inlaid pool.

"what the— when did you guys install a pool?" you gape at the giant, bean-shaped pool complete with a patio and a giant cabana built above it. beside it is a familiar face manning the grill.

tony flicks his sunglasses down to peer at you above them. "a week ago. had to go all out for dear ol' cap's birthday. nice of you to join us, sweet cheeks. you gonna introduce us to your hunk of a man?"

your eyes roll but the pride in your smile is undeniable as you bring clark forward. "everyone, this is clark kent. my fiance."

an impressed whistle escapes from rhodey who tips a beer up in salute towards you. "nice rock, kid." he gives a nod to clark next. "you did good."

"gosh, thanks." clark says, rubs his neck in that sheepish way that you've found endearing every time you see it. however, it has the rest of the avengers staring in utter befuddlement. tony mouths 'gosh' in emphasis to bruce who waves his judgement away.

"cap, you got someone out for your title for boyscout," tony crows happily as he flips a patty with ease. steve, who has been lounging beneath the shade with his own lemonade, looks up from his conversation with clint and laura. when his eyes find yours then clark's, something unnameable passes through his eyes before he's striding to his feet. all six foot two of him.

clark straightens his posture. all six foot four of him.

immediately, your eyes roll. "i'm going to go say hi to the girls. you two? behave."

"honey—" clark splutters but his priority will always be you so he concedes, quietly takes the offered glass of lemonade from steve before he attempts to play nice. if he can keep civil with steve lombard at work, he can be the nicest guy in town for the super soldier that may as well be an ex with how his eyes follow you.

—

to his credit, clark gets along well with all of your friends from new york. tony's crass but he's got a heart of gold with his closest circle of friends. bruce and clint had teased him the least about his midwestern countenance while laura had been interested in his career as a journalist and as a superhero. natasha had been very impressed with his ability to juggle his secret identity on top of everything.

"so how'd she find out about your other identity?" rhodey asks later on as the two of them sit at the chaises by the pool. clark is polite but his eyes cut to you occasionally where you're splashing in the shallow end with laura and clint's kids, your laughter providing a soothing background to the chaos of tony and bruce arguing over what music to play.

"ah, well. i was fighting an imp with the justice gang, should've been an easy fight but it was evening and i'm not really at my strongest at that time. i fell on her roof and she was there reading. she… healed me." a besotted smile grows on his lips. "the day after that, she ran into me as clark but i didn't realize my biology had been something she could sense. she pulled me into an alley and just asked if i healed right."

rhodey laughs quietly. "she's a little spitfire, ain't she?"

"i wouldn't have it any other way," clark muses. the both of them turn their attention to you, nearly missing the way tony hits the top of the grill with his tongs to call out—

"soup's on!" he hollers as he gestures to the cheeseburgers laid out to the table beside him. clark gets to his feet, ready to serve you, except—

"got all your favorite fixin's," steve cuts in, that boyish half grin that's made nearly all of america swoon, as he offers you a plate. with clark's heightened vision, something ugly turns with indignance that steve did get all your favorites.

but clark will not be beat so he rushes over to the coolers, pulls out your favorite drink, and all but flies over to offer it to you. "can't forget your usual, honey," he smiles sweetly, popping the tab for you and everything. you're still halfway out the pool, one foot out and on the edge with the other still in the water, with both men offering you a plate and a drink.

"thanks, guys… mind if i dry off first?"

you carefully sidestep away from both of them, refusing to enable or participate this odd dick-measuring contest they've started. once you've dried off, you settle into an available chaise and nearly startles when steve and clark kneel on either side of you. you could barely get a word in as captain america himself carefully sets the plate down on the small table beside you and your darling fiance adds in a straw as well.

"okay, both of you shoo—" you wave them off. "seriously. i know both of you, you two can eat tony out of all of his homes so go. you must be starving."

when both men trudge off, natasha takes their place but she's got enough sense to at least wait for you to take a few bites of your food before she starts.

"you know, it's kinda cute."

"don't you start, nat."

"no, no. it is! you got america's heroes fighting for your attention like overgrown puppies. it's cute."

your eyes narrow. "… you know something."

she zips up her lips before she dives into the pool, effortless without making a splash.

you huff goodnaturedly. "show-off."

—

"come on, you two. nathan, lila, out of the pool." clint claps his hands to grab his two youngests' attention. the sun's setting behind him and even you can't deny there's a slight chill beginning to settle in.

you nod and raise your arms slightly with the intent to herd the little ones out. "you two heard your dad, let's head out. if the grown-ups say yes, we can get some s'mores started, maybe set up some lights like a campfire… what do you say?"

that gets them out and when clint gives you a thankful grin, you wave him off before padding out to clark where he's already got your towel out. "thanks, baby," you smile as he wraps it around you, bundling you into his arms to press a soft kiss to your lips.

behind your back, steve stands with a fresh towel and clark fights the urge to stick his tongue out at him. no, that'd be very immature of him.

—

despite the chill that's threatened to drive the party indoors, tony gets a bonfire started in a fire pit he had dug out from the giant warehouse storage along with some string lights from a box labeled 'christmas?'.

the kids are drawn up in a tizzy at the thought of having christmas in july, their little hands diving into the box with the sole intent of decorating the giant cabana. you're in the middle of it all, helping them all detangle the wires while tony's sent back inside to look for an extension cord of all things.

"hold on, sweetheart," you laugh as nathan tries to climb your back while you draw yourself back to your feet, watching as his little arms try to reach up and hook the lights up. in the corner of your eye, steve approaches your periphery, hands nearly raised as if he's got the intention to lift you by your hips but—

clark's hands find you first, his chest brushing against your back. "i got you, honey," he murmurs in your ear before giving nathan a little grin. you feel his strong grip brace your waist, firm but not uncomfortable, and lift you high.

then… lifts you higher.

you turn your head to see clark levitating to help you hook the lights up at eye-level. nathan gasps in excitement and nearly drops the lights in his own hand. "oops— careful, buddy," you chuckle as you hand back the wire.

"me next, me next!" lila squeals from below and you laugh as clark does as asked, nathan reluctantly set down for you to carry his older sister next while clark lifts you back up with ease.

by the time the entire cabana's decorated, the kids are returned safely to their parents.

"that was nice of you," steve hums to clark once the two of you are back on solid ground, offering two s'mores on a plate.

clark takes it, almost wary, but he sees something you don't and his spine relaxes imperceptibly. "thank you," he murmurs while he places a warm hand at the base of your spine. steve nods his head and when he turns to you, he ruffles your head.

"be good, kid," he tells you instead before he walks off.

—

although tony had intended steve's intention to be an absolute rager, it still turned out to be a family-friendly event. something that steve had been banking on.

"kid just landed," tony had remarked earlier, the both of them setting up the cabana after FRIDAY had updated him on your flight status. "you gonna say something?"

steve just chuckles to himself, readjusting the stability of the cabana's legs. "tony, i don't know how many times i have to say this. nothing ever happened between me and her."

tony's eyes roll. "i know. you two cost me $300 because of it, by the way."

"serves you right for betting on your friends' love lives, stark."

"yeah, yeah, whatever. but back to the question at hand— have you met her fiance?"

"superman? i don't know him personally, but he seems like a good man, someone good for her," steve shrugs, unsure of what tony's getting at.

"hm. sure, the media definitely paints him that way," tony says. "but as her closest friends and honestly— the closest thing she has to a family— we need to make sure he's good for her."

steve pauses for a moment, gives his friend a sidelong glance. "what do you have in mind?"

"easy." both men startle at the sudden appearance of one natasha romanoff. "make him jealous. see how he reacts when steve moves in on her, it'd be enough to see his true colors."

tony snaps his fingers. "operation: battle of the boyscouts is a go."

"… i resent that name."

—

on the morning of july fifth, the avengers compound is the ultimate postcard of serenity. sun's sitting high, a gentle breeze wafting through to carry in the scent of nature. a butterfly settles upon a blooming flower bud—

"ANTHONY EDWARD STARK."

your shrill voice cuts through the peace. the butterfly flies off.

"you tried making my fiance jealous for some inane dick-measuring contest for your own fucking entertainment—?!"

"language."

"language, sweetheart."

steve and clark share a surprised glance and right as they're about to exchange a little chuckle, maybe even bro it out with a fist bump in their matching flannel pajamas, you direct your glare to the both of them.

without a word, steve backs out with a sheepish grin while clark approaches to give you an apologetic kiss to your forehead.

"it's a habit, i'm sorry," he mutters against your hair and despite tony's stupid games, you melt in your fiance's arms. "i love you."

"i love you too, sweetie." tony takes the chance to inch away as you decompress in clark's arms but you huff against his chest. "clark, i'm gonna kill him."

"... it wouldn't be very 'superman' of me to let you get away with murder, honey."

“Of course I do!” Remus suddenly exploded, standing from the chair and holding his palms to his temples. “Don’t even—don’t you dare for a minute insinuate that I don’t miss her with every fibre of my fucking being! You have no idea what it was like when you were in Azkaban—when I thought I’d lost both of you! How much I wished you both were here!”

Sirius scowled. “Imagine how I felt from my cell!”

Remus’ hands trembled as he shook his head, turning from Sirius. “Save the story, Sirius. I’ve heard it a hundred times before.”

“You’re such a dick.”

“You want me to break the law, Sirius! You’d like for us to go against the Order’s wishes to see—to go and see her, and fuck, Sirius, Merlin knows how much I’d kill to see her again, but we can’t! Horrible, terrible things happen to wizards who meddle with time! We were given strict orders—to retrieve James’ cloak. We can’t let anyone see us, Sirius!”

Sirius felt like he could rip his hair from his head. Instead, he bit his knuckles. “But horrible things happened to us anyway, Remus! How the fuck could it get any worse than it’s ended up? There’s another war raging on. I went to Azkaban, you spent thirteen years alone, and Y/N is fucking dead! She’s gone, and you can’t even say her fucking name!” He watched Remus’ face go completely white. “Go on, say it, Remus! Because I haven’t heard you say her name since she was—since she was here with us!”

Remus’ fists curled. “Fuck off, will you?”

“I said your names every single day when I was in Azkaban! I refused to forget any of it. Any of what we had! Just say it, Remus!” Sirius’ voice rose to yelling, and he stood from the bed. “Go on. It’s Y/N—in case you fucking forgot. Say Y/N’s na—”

Remus caught Sirius’ wrists when Sirius went to shove him, his large hands gripping him hard. “You’ll be back in Azkaban if we were caught! And I’d be in the cell next to yours! Is that what you want?” “I don’t care—”

“Of course you don’t, but one of us needs to think rationally. You said you’d be fine doing this when Moody asked! You said—”

Sirius jerked away from Remus, his face stony and his glare cold. “Fuck off, Remus.”

Remus rolled his eyes and quickly shuffled for the pack of cigarettes in his coat pocket. He watched Sirius stalk back over to the bed and chuck himself in it, yanking the duvet up to his shoulders. He felt the strain in his chest and his throat, his eyes growing incredibly hot as he propped open the inn’s window. He lit his cigarette and hung his head out into the cold air, and only then did he let the tears drip down his face.

He glared at the snowy pavement, seething with rage—furious that Sirius had put him in such an awful position, angry at you for no longer being here, and absolutely sickened at the fact that he had the time turner around his neck. He couldn’t use it for the one thing in the world that he wanted. 

He glanced over at the vibrant pink and green sweet shop. Honeydukes was always the first place you went to, every Hogsmeade trip, and you always used to get the same thing—toffees and a chocolate frog. Across from Honeydukes was the bench where the three of you had drunkenly admitted your feelings for one another back in your sixth year. He stubbed his cigarette out on the windowsill hard and then lit a second one. 

 When he finished and shut the window, he turned, and the room was cold and smelled of nicotine. He pulled off his clothes and got into the bed next to Sirius, careful not to touch him—apprehensive that the feeling of their skin touching would only fuel their furies. 

Sirius’ voice was thick with clogged tears when he spoke a few minutes later, filling the heavy silence. “We don’t work without her, Remus. You know that.”

He bit the inside of his cheek and didn’t say anything for a long while. He thought Sirius might have fallen asleep, and perhaps that was how he gained the courage to speak. 

“I miss Y/N all of the time,” he whispered, barely audible. “I miss her first thing in the morning, and the last thing at night. I think about what the three of us had back then. It was the last time I was actually happy. And we all took it for granted.”

“We were idiots,” Sirius whispered back croakily. “Young, and we all thought that made us fucking invincible or something.”

“It should have woken us up when Marlene died.”

“They—” Sirius’ voice cracked. “Peter was always going to have to kill Y/N if he wanted to frame me and make you go away. There was nothing we could have done.”

Remus’ fists clenched. He scrunched his eyes shut. “She loved Peter.”

Sirius choked. “What he did to her—” He felt physical pain shudder through his system. “The state he left her in—He was fucking brutal, Remus.”

“I know,” Remus whispered, his eyes growing fuzzy, his brain numb. 

“She didn’t deserve that. She was still—she was alive when I—”

“I know,” Remus said, harder. “I already know.”

Sirius lifted his shaky hands as if he could still see the blood on them, even in the dark. Remus reached over to encase one of them, and he tugged his hand against his chest. Sirius shook as he cried, wriggling closer to Remus, sobbing into his chest. Remus felt himself begin to crumble, too. 

“She was only twenty-one.”

And that was enough for Remus to really sob. They were in their late thirties now. Remus was aware they were never supposed to get this old without you. You had always spoken of your future together, every word as optimistic as the last. You were supposed to be here. He would let you take his place any day. He’d let you and Sirius have this at the drop of a hat—you deserved to see the world beyond the first war. 

“Just one more time,” Remus whispered, and he grasped Sirius’ hand tighter in both of his, moving them upward from his chest to the time turner sitting around his neck, engulfing the cool metal. 

Sirius’ eyes were wide and wet with shock. “Remus?”

Remus spun the time turner back and back and back—all the way to 1978, before they had become soldiers for the Order.

── .✦

Remus inhaled the familiar smell of the Hogwarts corridors. He’d been here only a few years ago at his temporary position of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, but somehow, this felt different. Perhaps it was because Sirius was by his side, or maybe it had something to do with the fact that they had gone back to the 1970s. He swallowed as he glanced around at the empty halls, his expression nearly matching Sirius’. 

“Merlin,” Sirius muttered. “This is fucking insane.”

Remus nodded in agreement. “This was a bad idea.”

Sirius swatted him hard. “Are you fucking kidding me, Remus? She’s here! She’s in this building right now!” “And we’re nearly forty years—”

“-I’m thirty-six, actually—”

“We will not blend in with everybody else here! We’re going to be noticed immediately,” Remus worried. “And Dumbledore will quickly realise we’re from the future, and we’ll be hurled off to—”

Sirius grabbed Remus’ wrist and yanked him closer to an alcove despite the lack of anybody around them. “Okay, so we’ll sneak into Slughorn’s classroom. He’s bound to have some sort of de-ageing potion.”

Remus scratched the back of his neck anxiously. “This is so wrong, Sirius.”

“I’m not leaving here without seeing her, Remus,” he told him firmly, and Sirius took off in the direction of the dungeons, as if it hadn’t been twenty years since they were last students here. 

It was rather easy for Remus and Sirius to find the correct potion in Slughorn’s storage cupboard. Sirius and James used to have their fair share of fun experimenting and swapping things over to cause chaos for early-morning potion lessons. Remus watched Sirius throw his head back and down the potion as if it were a shot at the bar, his face scrunching at the taste.

Sirius wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, ridding the purple residue, and he blinked at Remus strangely. “Well? Do I look any different?”

Remus shook his head. “No, you—”

Sirius suddenly jerked forward with a violent cough, one of his hands grabbing onto Remus. Remus’ hands gripped him, trying to keep him upright, his dark eyes wide. 

“Pads!” Remus panicked. “Shit, are you—”

He watched the silvers that had been starting to appear on the back of Sirius’ head turn black again. His shoulders seemed to broaden ever so slightly, his body rejuvenating after the thirteen years spent malnourished in prison. Remus gawked, helping Sirius back up when he’d stopped trembling.

“Sirius?” He whispered. “Are you alright?”

Sirius groaned and touched his forehead. “Yeah, I think so.” His voice. Remus felt his heart skip a beat. He grasped Sirius’ head, forcing him to look at him, and Remus felt everything inside him freeze over and then promptly ignite. Gone were the first signs of wrinkles around his eyes and the bits of silver that had started to make an appearance on his head. Sirius’ stubble was gone, replaced with smooth, clear skin—his eyes youthful, his face a little fuller.

“Did it work?”

Remus couldn’t help but laugh. “It fucking worked, Pads. It actually worked.”

“It’s your turn, Remus. It’s your turn. Hurry!”

Sirius spent the next ten minutes looking at himself in the reflection in one of Slughorn’s cauldrons, while the effects of Remus’ took place. The coat he was wearing suddenly felt looser, his back and hip far less stiff. Remus moved Sirius out of the way to look, touching his scarred face in awe at the youthful man looking back at him. 

“How long does this last?” He whispered in awe.

Sirius reached over to touch Remus’ face. “A few hours. Merlin, Rem. You look so young, it’s terrifying. We were so young when all of this was happening.”

Remus swallowed and touched Sirius’ hands. They were smooth. “I’m scared,” he suddenly admitted out loud—he didn’t even realise he was going to blurt it, and hadn’t a clue that he was really feeling so anxious. “Part of me isn’t sure I can handle seeing her, Sirius.”

Sirius exhaled and splayed his fingers broader on Remus’ face, as if to cup as much of him as he could in his palm. “You can do it, Remus.”

“What if she asks questions, Sirius?” Remus whispered painfully. “I can’t spend these moments lying to her. I can’t—I don’t know if I can do this knowing it’s the last time I’ll see her. I accepted years ago that I never got to say goodbye. I can’t say goodbye to her tonight, Sirius. I ca—” He was cut off by a pair of lips pressing against his own. Remus hesitated for a moment before he kissed back, and he was startled by the familiarity of kissing a much younger Sirius. It almost felt wrong, and yet it felt like no time had passed, as if he was back home. He pressed his hands to Sirius’ arms as if to physically force himself off of him. 

“Shall we find her?” Sirius pleaded breathlessly.

Remus nodded, his chest tightening. 

── .✦

“It’s only eleven at night, so chances are, everybody’s in the common room,” Sirius said as they headed up one of the staircases. 

Remus pulled a face. “Yes, including us, Sirius. How are we going to get past that one, hm?”

Sirius chewed on his bottom lip. “Errr—” “Mr Lupin!” Madame Pomfrey exclaimed, and both men jumped as they turned to face the older woman. “Did I or did I not tell you to stay put exactly where you were? You shouldn’t be moving with your leg the way it is!”

Remus exchanged a panicked glance with Sirius. “Er, I’m sorry, Madame Pomfrey. It’s only, I’ve been feeling better, you see, and Sirius was just walking me back up the dorms. I’d like to sleep in my own bed tonight.”

“Mr Black, you should also be in bed!” Madame Pomfrey scowled. “You’re in no position to be helping Mr Lupin yourself! Where on earth is your splint?”

It dawned on Remus very quickly which full moon had just occurred. He remembered it all too well, with a sick feeling in his stomach still to this day. He had badly hurt Sirius in his Animagus form, and Sirius had ended up with a snapped arm and a broken nose. It was the Christmas break, and you had stayed to not only keep Remus company over the full moon but also because you would rather be with them than back home.

 If Remus was remembering correctly, you were one of the only students to stay that year. The war was raging on, and people didn’t feel as safe at Hogwarts anymore. James’ father was starting to get sick, and he wanted to take Lily back to them for their first Christmas as a couple. 

“Miss Y/L/N will come and see you boys first thing in the morning, she told you herself,” Madame Pomfrey scolded. Remus flinched, and Sirius nearly swayed in his spot. “So get back down to the infirmary right now. I’m heading back in ten minutes—I expect to see you back in your beds, and you with that splint on, Mr Black!” She turned away from them, marching down the corridor. “For Merlin’s sake, these children…”

“Fuck,” Sirius said, holding his hand against his pounding heart as soon as they were out of sight of the school nurse. “That was so fucking close. How lucky was that?”

“Lucky,” Remus said, though he was hardly as amused as Sirius. “Come on, before I make us turn around.”

They hurried up the stairs even quicker than they had been going before. Remus took three steps at a time easily, though his legs felt like lead, as if they wanted to plant to the ground and stay there. When they reached the portrait of the fat lady, Sirius groaned.

“It’s you,” he said distastefully. 

“Not the password!” She sang to him. 

“We don’t have time for this. If you’d be so kind as to let us in,” Sirius said with a forced smile, his teeth practically gritted. “You know who we are.”

“You could be anybody!” The Fat Lady argued. 

“Do I look like anybody to you?” Sirius huffed. “I am Sirius Black, you know exactly who—”

The portrait swung open, causing the Fat Lady to scream unexpectedly. Her shrieks dimmed in both their ears, and their mouths dropped open. Remus swallowed thickly, his heart nearly coming out of his throat. Sirius was as silent as Remus had ever seen him. 

You stood there, wearing one of Remus’ old knitted jumpers—one he still had at his home to this day, and the plaid bed shorts you swore matched it. You looked just as beautiful as they both remembered you, though your face was yanked down with the heavy weight of concern. Remus felt like he had been sliced open. 

“I thought I heard you two bickering out here,” you said uncertainly, your furrowed brows scanning them both over. “Oh, Merlin, I am so glad you’re both okay.”

You hopped from the small stair and landed with your arms thrown around both their shoulders. Your touch was all to familiar, like hearing a song you had completely forgotten about, and fuck, you smelled of the oils you ran through the ends of your hair each evening, and the moisturiser you always used to “bribe” him or Sirius to slather on your skin (they were more than happy to do it for you, they just liked when you asked). 

Remus thought he might be sick as he wrapped his arms around you, too. Sirius was as stiff as a board, his eyes startled as if somebody had just murdered his entire family in front of him. 

“Sirius,” you murmured as you pulled away, and your hand touched his face. He flinched back to life. “Are you okay, darling?”

Sirius choked a laugh and then began to laugh harder. 

Remus anxiously grasped the back of Sirius’ neck, squeezing it gently. “I-I think maybe he’s still in shock. From last night.”

You nodded and traced your hand down so that it met with his. You squeezed his fingers. “Come on then. I didn’t know Madame Pomfrey was going to let you both out tonight; otherwise, I might have asked the House Elves to prepare us all a nice dinner. I already ate something, but I could maybe—”

“We’re fine, thank you, Y/N,” Remus murmured and followed you into the common room. It was easier to talk to you when he was covering for Sirius. If he’d had to speak purely for himself, he was sure he might be in the same boat. 

Remus had visited your grave for more years than he had known you alive, and yet there you stood, walking around, smiling and doting over them as if nothing was wrong. He couldn’t believe his eyes. He was sure he’d wake up, and it would be a dream. 

“Y/N,” Sirius suddenly rasped from where he sat on the sofa. You quickly turned to him. “Y/N.”

He touched your face and then stroked your hair behind your ear. His eyes were darting all over you, as if he was looking for any sign of injury. He looked down at his hands after he had touched you, and he found no blood this time. Last time, his skin had been stained with it. He’d woken up in his cell covered in the crimson that used to keep you alive, and they did not let him scrub it off of himself for weeks. 

“Sirius,” you repeated, and cocked your hide to the side with a small smile. “Do you want a cup of tea or something?” You reached up and touched his forehead. “You are quite warm,” you told him. 

“He’s fine,” Remus said pointedly. “How are you?”

You thought for a moment and then sighed, your face contorting into a pinched smile. “I’m okay. Better now that you two are here. It was awful without you last night—it’s really scary in the tower alone.”

Remus felt the guilt start to eat him. You’d been alone when it had happened. You had most likely been the most terrified you had ever been in your entire life. 

“I missed you both,” you said, and ran a hand through Sirius’ hair. 

He closed his eyes and leaned into your touch. 

“I missed you, too,” Sirius whispered, and his hand reached up to cup yours over his face.

You furrowed your brows at him. “Why are you being so solemn, hm? You’re concerning me a little bit, love. And you’re being awfully standoffish over there, too, Rem.”

Sirius shook his head quickly. “No, no. I think—I think the full moon just reminded us that it’s scary when we’re all apart. And that—and that anything could happen. We’re just glad nothing happened to you.”

“Because I wasn’t stupid enough to chase after Rem when he clearly wanted to be alone,” you chuckled at Sirius and leaned forward to kiss him. “Always have to insert yourself into places you don’t belong, don’t you?”

Sirius frowned. Remus nearly chuckled at the irony. She was right, and Sirius never grew out of it. 

“It’s not a bad thing, sweetheart,” you told him affectionately. “Just don’t like seeing you get hurt because of it. It’s bad enough when Remus has torn himself apart every month. Don’t need both of you in there.”

Both of them were in awe at your kindness. They had forgotten that people like you existed. Someone who was so understanding of them—someone who saw all of their flaws and loved them for them. You were so young, and yet so emotionally intelligent. Neither had met anybody like you before. 

“It won’t happen again,” Sirius whispered. 

“I’ll believe that when I see it!” You called with a laugh as you headed over to the staircase. “Come on then, we should head to bed. It’s Christmas Eve tomorrow! It’d be nice to take a walk through Hogsmeade if you’re both feeling up to it. We’ll need to check your hip first, Rem.”

Remus felt his heart lurch. He grasped Sirius when he stood to follow you eagerly. 

“We might stay down here for a little bit, baby,” Remus said as softly as he could, his brown eyes nearly melting in the warm lights of the Gryffindor common room. “We’re not tired yet, but we’ll follow you up.”

Sirius pulled away as you frowned. “But—but I don’t want to sleep without you again,” you said. “Please, Rem. I don’t mind you’re awake. You can read or—or do whatever you’d like, but I just want to sleep with you next to me.”

“Of course we’ll come up with you, sweetheart,” Sirius said, and turned back to give Remus a wicked grin. “Come on, Remus. Don’t be so ridiculous.”

Remus could have smacked Sirius. The look on your face was enough to make his heart burst in his chest. His logic was battling with his feelings, and he knew the right thing to do for all of you was to leave now, but he couldn’t force himself. He found his long legs carrying him up the familiar staircase that led to their old dormitory. You pushed open the door like it was yours, and quickly rushed to jump into Sirius’ bed, which had been transfigured into a king-size at some point. 

You wriggled under the covers. Remus glanced at Sirius and saw him staring at the bed at the end of the room. James’ bed. His Quidditch kit was chucked over his chair, a pair of red Converse by the end of the bed as if he had been there only the other day—because he had been. He bit down on his bottom lip and gently pulled Sirius over to you, who hadn’t noticed the strange behaviour from the boys. 

Sirius felt his face melt, and he was quick to head over, kneeling onto the bed and climbing into your side. 

“You need to put your pyjamas on!” You told him. “Both of you, hurry.”

He laughed as your hands half-heartedly pushed him away. He opened the drawer at his bedside and then the one beneath. He couldn’t quite remember where he put them until—

“Idiot,” you muttered and threw a pair of plaid trousers at his head. “Under your pillow, remember?”

“Right,” Sirius said, and ripped his shirt from his body, then his trousers. 

He pulled on the pyjamas and glanced over at Remus, who was doing the same. They were both moving like teenagers again, slightly more effortlessly than men in their late thirties. His gaze flickered to his own chest and his arms. He had the start of a couple of tattoos, but nowhere near as many as he got as soon as he had left Hogwarts. He felt naked.

“James sent an owl asking how you both were, by the way,” you said, and it was so casual to you, and yet so horrific for them to hear as they got dressed. “He said he feels bad for leaving while you were asleep, but I reminded him it’s not his fault. Oh, and Lily asked about you both, too.”

“We’ll owl them,” Remus said, his chest hollow, his smile fragile as he turned back to you and climbed into the bed. 

You were in the middle tonight, it seemed, and neither of them was complaining. It was where you often ended up, if Sirius wasn’t in a mood and desperately after the most attention. 

“Pete asked too,” you said, and all the blood left both their faces immediately. “He’s such a sweetheart, honestly, you two—he sent in a box of chocolates for you both. It’s got some of your favourites in it, Rem, but from the looks of it, he chose which ones went in himself. It’s got a note and everything, bless him.”

“Bless him?” Sirius retorted, his fists clenching the bedsheets.

He suddenly felt as sick as he did that day. He could see you lying on the kitchen floor of the house, which the three of you shared. Remus and Sirius weren’t talking to each other—they were arguing for the hundredth time that week, and you were being a fucking saint putting up with them. It had ended particularly awful that morning, with both of them accusing the other of being the traitor that the Order was searching for. Remus was off doing werewolf-related tasks for the Order, and Sirius went out for a ride on his motorbike. It was better than having to listen to you and your excuses for Remus.

He walked slowly up the path, dreading your kindness, but the sight of your front door knocked open enough to make him feel nauseous. He was lightheaded all the way through to the kitchen, where your record player had stopped singing and instead rested on a static pause. The sink was full of cold, soapy water, dishes half done, and you had baked something—he remembered the air was so sickly sweet that night. Cinnamon. He couldn’t stand that smell anymore. 

It had mixed with the scent of iron. He had nearly slipped on all of the blood. It was thick. It pooled over the tiles you used to dance on, it caked the hair he used to run his fingers through. Your dress was ripped, a slice down your arm that was obvious to him in seconds. Your chest was home to a massacre, and the kitchen knife you always used, because it was the sharpest, lay discarded feet away, painted crimson with your blood. Your wand had rolled beneath the table, your fingers still open like you were reaching for it.

You musn’t have gone down without a fight. The kitchen was a mess. 

He lay there for an hour next to you. He kept thinking about how this would be the last time he’d ever get to do it. Eventually, his howls dimmed, and he lay staring at the kitchen ceiling as lifelessly as you. Sirius dragged himself up from the floor. He needed to find James—see if James knew where Remus was. He needed Remus. Remus needed to know about you. Remus had no idea. 

Sirius had continued to sob when he leaned over and gently grasped your wrists. He settled for leaving them on top of your stomach, and his fingers shakily reached to close your eyelids. He hovered over you for a few more minutes, and gripping the skirt of your dress, bunching the material as silent sobs racked through his body. 

It took him another hour to get up. His legs felt like lead as he left you there. He wasn’t sure he was fully alive as he Apparated to the back of the Potter’s cottage, where they often snuck in and out to avoid being noticed. Sirius startled when he found the air had shifted, a dark green cloud smoking over James’ home, a snake coming from a skull. 

He knew it was Peter immediately. The Secret-Keeper. Of course it was. He had been the traitor the entire time. Whilst Remus and Sirius had been pointing fingers at each other, Peter had been sitting there, often next to you, and he had probably been plotting all of your deaths. Sirius thought of James. Lily. Harry. You. He thought of you, and he knew what he had to do. 

The rest of the night was such a blur to Sirius now. He remembered hunting down Peter in his Animagus form, using his sense of smell to realise he wasn’t too far. He found him down a Muggle street in London, trembling and shaking down an alleyway. He remembered having Peter pinned, he remembered seeing blood down Peter’s arms, and a splatter across his face. 

Peter himself was missing a couple of his fingers. You must have gotten him. Sirius remembered how furious he had been: that Peter had gotten away, and you were gone. 

He was so furious that he wasn’t thinking straight. He could only imagine your confusion, your hurt, and the agony you must have been in. He hurt Peter the Muggle way. He wanted him to hurt as much as he hurt you. Only, Peter seemed to be thinking more rationally— he drew his wand, and he created an explosion. 

It was so large that Sirius had dropped him, and by the time he’d looked back, Peter was in his rat form—gone. 

The Aurors arrested him near enough on the spot. He screamed and protested. He yanked at his chains and gritted his teeth as they told him he was going to be imprisoned for all of his crimes. He begged for Remus over and over again. His screams turned to laughter when he realised how easily he had been tricked by Peter Pettigrew. Everybody had underestimated him. Sirius himself had seen Peter as meek and underpowered. Sirius had lost absolutely everything in a matter of hours, and he had woken up that morning thinking the day would be no different from every other. 

He went manic. He screamed and screamed all night. He rattled the bars of his cage until somebody Crucio’d him. He wondered if he was in as much pain as you had been when Peter had stabbed you over and over and over again. He told himself he deserved it for not being there for you. He deserved to rot behind bars just for that. 

“Did Pete do something?” You asked, and Sirius nearly leaned over the side of the bed to be sick. 

His eyes flickered over to Remus, who was watching you with such a haunted look that Sirius couldn’t take it. Sirius thought to himself that if he were to ignore hindsight and the future, then he would be sending you off to your death. You’d die again. It really would be his fault. He could have saved you. He should have saved you. He should have—

“I just don’t really like him very much anymore,” Sirius murmured. “I’ve… I’ve seen something in these tea leaves, okay? I saw something, and I didn’t like it.”

You snorted and tapped Sirius’ chest. “You’re rubbish at Divination! Last month, you thought you were going to end up riding a Hippogriff back to London!”

Sirius and Remus cast a look at each other, Sirius’ mouth slightly agape. “Actually, I think I have a knack for it. Maybe my timing’s just a bit off.”

“Sirius,” Remus warned. 

“He won’t freak me out, don’t worry,” you reassured Remus, and patted his leg over the duvet. “Why, Siri? What did you see that Peter did?”

Sirius swallowed and shut his eyes. “I have to go to the bathroom,” he panicked once he reopened them, and he was quick to dart away. 

You worriedly watched him go and looked back at Remus. “What’s wrong with him, Rem? Seriously. I’m worried about him. He’s not acting like normal.”

Remus sighed heavily. “Let me go and check on him.”

He climbed carefully from the bed, walking over to the bathroom. Just as he touched the handle of the door, he glanced back at you. You were watching him, your head tilted curiously. 

“What?” You asked. 

He shook his head. “Just stay right there, okay? I’ll only be a few minutes.”

“I don’t plan on going anywhere any time soon, don’t you worry,” you told him innocently enough. 

Remus shook his head and pulled open the door. He shut it behind him immediately when light poured through, and he found Sirius bent over the toilet, trembling.

“I can’t do it, I can’t do it,” he kept muttering. 

Remus felt the rage ignite inside his chest, hot and raw. “Sirius, this was your idea.”

“I thought I could handle a peaceful evening with her,” Sirius heaved. “But I can’t, Remus. How can we leave her here, knowing what’s going to happen to her? We’re essentially sentencing her to her death!”

Remus’ face curled, but his eyes were hot with tears. “It’s difficult. It’s how…” his voice broke. “It’s how it’s supposed to go.”

“You don’t even believe that!” Sirius shot back. “I can tell in your voice! You want to save her, too! Didn’t we always promise her that we’d keep her safe, Remus? Didn’t we? Look at her! She’s eighteen years old, and she only has three years left! That’s not fucking fair, Remus! Why did we get to live for so long, and she didn’t?”

They’d had this conversation a hundred times since Azkaban. Sirius held a particular amount of survivor’s guilt and PTSD. Remus was slightly better at burying his grief and self-loathing, just about content enough to survive until he saw Voldemort and Peter dead. He always thought he’d see how he felt after that. 

“Sirius, I know,” Remus hushed him, smoothing his face with his hands. “I know. I know.”

“We could save James and Lily, too,” Sirius said desperately. “And Marlene. Harry’d never have to go to the Dursleys. The second war would never have broken out. We just have to kill that fucking rat! Right now, Remus! I can gut him as he did to her!”

Remus closed his eyes, grounding himself by gripping Sirius’ shoulders. “Calm down, okay?”

“Calm down—?”

“If Harry and Lily didn’t defeat Voldemort, who would have, Sirius? We were losing the war back then. If it had never happened, the Dark Lord most likely would have become even more powerful. Eventually, he would have taken over. You’d have been used as an example of blood treason. James, too. Lily and the other Muggleborns would have probably been rounded up to be slaughtered. I’d be carted off to the werewolf packs. Y/N…” His face went green. “Fuck, Sirius, Y/N would have probably been married off for her blood status—used to repopulate the Purebloods.”

“You don’t know that!” Sirius seethed, but his face was crestfallen, his breathing rapid. 

“You don’t know that wouldn’t happen either, though, Sirius! Everything has a knock-on effect.”

“Then…” He hesitated, a strangled expression over his face. “Then perhaps we can just try to save Y/N.”

He mentally apologised to James over and over and over again. He’d make it up to him through Harry. 

Remus covered his face with his hand. “You’re not listening.”

“I don’t care!” Sirius cried. “Is that what you’d like me to say, Remus? In all honesty, I will take whatever risk it is to give Y/N the chance of living! So we don’t kill Peter then. Fine. But maybe we can make sure that Y/N is not in the house that night. That nothing bad happens to her that night. I won’t—I won’t go to Azkaban, she won’t die, you won’t have to spend years alone, and Harry can have a family! The three of us can raise him, Remus. We’ll stop the second war from breaking out. We’ll let Peter go to Azkaban for what he’s done! That’s worse than death!”

Remus blinked, and for a few moments, it looked as though he was truly considering what Sirius was saying. Sirius could feel the hope blossoming and blooming in his chest. He grasped onto Remus and shook him impatiently, as if that would make him hurry up with his decision. 

“Well? You look like you like my idea.” “Of course I do,” Remus melted. “Of course I want all of that to happen.” He tugged his lip between his teeth. “I have always said I would do anything to have her back.”

Sirius could have burst into tears. “Remus, don’t say all of this to take it back. Please.”

“Sirius, if we get caught, we’ll be arrested at the very minimum.”

“I’d go back to Azkaban for a hundred years for her, Remus,” Sirius said so determinedly that the air knocked from Remus’ lungs, and it was as if Sirius’ words had burst Remus’ morality bubble for the first time that evening.

His body sagged, his eyes sinking. “Yeah, me too, Pads.” “Then let’s risk it. Or give me the time turner, Rem. I’ll do it myself. We can send you back, and I’ll come and get her. I’ll make it right. You’ll never know the difference,” Sirius pleaded.

Remus’ trembling hand took Sirius’, and he shook his head. “You won’t have to do this alone, Sirius. We’ll do it together.”

There was a knock at the bathroom door, gentle and quiet. They both glanced at each other with softened eyes, and for the first time, their chests deflated. There was a feeling of ease knowing they were going to rewrite their story, that they would get to spend the rest of their lives together after all. 

Remus moved forward and opened the door, letting it swing open. Your eyes squinted blearily at the bright light of the bathroom. 

“Sirius, are you okay?” You asked softly. “I’m sorry if I made you feel silly about your… vision of Peter. It’s just… it’s Pete. He’s our best friend.”

“Y/N, I think we should all sit down and have a talk,” Remus suggested as calmly as he could muster, placing a hand on her arm, gently guiding her back into the room—back to Sirius’ bed. “It’s probably best we come clean to you.”

You peer at them even more anxiously. “Did something happen? Oh Merlin, Sirius, is your arm actually okay?”

“My arm is perfectly fine, baby,” Sirius couldn’t help but laugh, and he wanted to lean in and peck your hairline, but he was scared you’d want him nowhere near you in the next few minutes, so he refrained. “It’s something else entirely.”

“And you’re clever,” Remus said. “So we’re going to try not to sugar coat things. It’s going to be… hard to listen to. But we’re here for you the whole time, alright, sweetheart? Okay?”

You hesitated, staring them both over for a few more moments. Then you nodded, and Remus took a deep breath. 

“Good girl. Do you know what this is?” He reached under his shirt and pulled out a golden chain with a circular pendant.

You shook your head. “I don’t think so, Rem.”

“This is a time turner,” Remus explained. “Do you want to see how it works?”

“Yeah,” you agreed, and Remus was positive you didn’t fully understand the meaning behind his words from how nonchalantly you were reacting to the information he was giving you. 

“Give me your hands, sweet,” he instructed, and when you did so, he cupped your hand beneath his and gave the time turner one small spin. 

Suddenly, the two of you were standing up in the exact place you had been moments ago, right before you sat on the bed. The past versions of you disappeared, and Sirius’ gaze flickered between you both, his lips quirking up. 

Your eyes were nearly bulging out of your sockets. “What just happened?”

“We went back in time,” Remus explained. “Only by a few seconds. It’s not always good to go back too far.”

“When did you two get that?” You gaped and pinched your brows together at Sirius. “Did you steal it? Potter heirloom?”

“No,” Sirius laughed. “No stealing, not an heirloom. The Order gave it to us.”

You cocked a brow. “The Order of the Phoenix?”

“Yes.”

You nearly howled with laughter. “Well, that’s absurd! Why would the Order of the Phoenix trust you two with a time turner? You’re only eighteen years old, for goodness sake! We’re still at school!”

The silence that followed quickly made your amused smile evaporate. It started to settle in that this was not a joking matter, and that they were being very serious. Your gaze flickered between them, and your eyes widened as you seemed to put two and two together. 

“You're not from this time, are you?” You whispered to them both. 

“No,” Sirius admitted quietly. 

“But how is that possible?” You demanded, standing from your seat and pacing, running a hand through your hair. “Are you from the future? By what? A couple of years? You both look exactly the same as you did when I saw you a few hours ago.”

“Y/N,” Remus swallowed. “Sit down.”

You did as you were told, but you felt incredibly lightheaded, the dizziness starting to make you sway a little. Sirius supported you with a large hand. 

“We’re from the future, yes,” Sirius said. “We’re from, well, 1996.”

You paused. Your stomach flipped and your hands grew clammy. You stared at them both, unsurely. 

“This is a prank?” You asked, but you had a feeling even these two weren’t such good actors. There was no way they would do this to you so close after a full moon. Even if Sirius had come up with the sick idea, you don’t believe he’d ever be able to do it to you, and Remus would never agree to it anyway.

“Not a prank,” Remus assured her. 

You were silent for a few moments. “Well, that would make you each thirty-six years old. That’s not possible, is it? You look so young. Do your appearances change with the time you go to?”

“We took a de-ageing potion,” Remus admitted shamefully. “To blend in.”

You stare for longer. “Rem, I don’t like this. It’s not funny.”

“It’s not a joke, I swear on your life, sweetheart,” Remus said. “Look, I can prove it.”

He moved over to the coat he’d thrown over the chair and went into the pocket, pulling out a box of cigarettes and a few crumpled bits of paper. “Er, receipts with the year on them.” He dug in the other one and found his wallet, taking his seat next to her again. “That’s you. In the future.”

Sure enough, Remus opened his wallet and in the plastic covering was a small Polaroid of you. Your breath hitched and you took it from him. You looked hardly any different to the way you looked now, except your hair was cut differently, in a way you had never had it before, and this was your first time seeing the image. 

“That’s me?”

“That’s you,” Sirius said thickly. “In 1980.”

You shook your head. “Wow. Well, this is only a couple of years away, then.” You handed it back to Remus. “Why… Why are you showing me this? Why are you two here? Are my Remus and Sirius okay?”

“They’re fine, darling,” Remus said. “They’re still in the hospital wing healing, and if I remember correctly, they’re anxious to come and see you—but they’re fine.”

You smile waveringly. “Is this to do with Peter, then? Like you said before? You don’t like him?”

There was a long silence.

“What did the Order send you here to do?”

“The Order didn’t exactly send us here,” Sirius said. “This was more of my idea, really. I just…”

Your breath hitched at the look on his face. Suddenly, their strange behaviour made so much more sense. Sirius getting emotional, Remus becoming shut off. 

“That’s the last photo you have of me, isn’t it?” Your voice came out deadpan, dread icing your insides as you watch their faces for confirmation. “That’s why you don’t have a newer one, hm?” Their expressions crumbled. Remus looked positively ashamed, avoiding your eyes. Disgust crept over Sirius’ features.

You tried hard not to let the panic swallow you. “Can you…what happens to me?”

Remus hesitated. “You die during the war.”

You don’t say anything for a moment, but hot tears flood your eyes. “When I’m twenty-one? In 1980?”

Sirius nodded, and you dumped your face into your hands. “Oh, Merlin. Oh no.” Your mutterings broke their hearts, and then they heard you begin to cry, your frame shaking with each sob. “I don’t get any older?”

Sirius felt sick. Remus couldn’t open his mouth as he watched you cry, but Sirius had been itching to comfort you since the second he saw you on the kitchen floor eighteen years ago. All he’d wanted was for you to wake up and cry, so he could reassure you, wrap his arms around you, and reassure you that you were going to be fine. 

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry,” Sirius cried. “We weren’t… We weren’t there the day it happened. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“What happened?” You whimpered. “What happened to me?” It dawns on you. “Pete?” 

When neither said anything, you became more frantic. “No! Did I die saving him? It must have been—it must have been some freak accident, surely!”

Sirius shook his head, fists clenched. “It was not an accident, Y/N,”

You rubbed your eyes. “But—but—Peter is—”

“Not at all what any of us thought,” Remus finished for her sternly. 

“Oh Gods. Is it painless at least?” 

“It doesn’t matter,” Remus cut in before Sirius could. “Because it’s not going to happen again.”

“Wha—what do you mean?”

Remus lifted the time turner. “We’re not going back to a world you’re not in, Y/N. Not ever.”

Your breath hitched. “What?”

“I know this is overwhelming,” Sirius said. “I’m sorry. We just—we want to be sure that you want to be saved, Y/N. That you want to live. We don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

You thought for a few seconds. “Of course I want to live,” you croaked. “I want to grow old with you both. But I don’t want to change the future for the worse. What if bad things happen?”

“Bad things happen anyway,” Sirius mumbled.

“Sirius is blamed for your death,” Remus said, and purposefully left out the news of James and Lily. “He goes to Azkaban for thirteen years, until he breaks out.”

You look over at him, agony nearly shredding you apart. “Sirius,” you breathed, and your sniffling nose and flushed eyes were enough to make him coo and bring you into his warm chest. “Merlin, Sirius, I am so, so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” he murmured into your hair. “Never your fault, honey.”

You stayed like that for minutes. Your eyes began to feel tired from the emotion and weight of the day. Sirius couldn’t take his eyes off of you, curled up in his arms, finally safe.

“Let us save you,” Remus pleaded with her quietly, brushing her hair from her face. “Please.”

“But what if it makes everything worse in the long run? I don’t want you two to get into more trouble.”

“We’d Obliviate you after this, sweetheart,” Remus said, and Sirius was nearly surprised that he’d come up with a plan so soon, but also not really because it was Remus. “You won’t remember this, and you’ll go on like normal. Sirius and I will jump to the day you pass. We’ll make sure Pete doesn’t get to hurt you.”

“Why can’t we stop Peter now?” 

“We can’t change too much of the timeline, baby,” Sirius swallowed thickly. “No matter how much we want to. Some things have to stay the same.”

There was a long silence. Minutes ticked by agonisingly slowly.

“What do you think?” Remus asked quietly. 

“Let me sleep on it, Rem,” you said, furrowing your brows, but not opening your eyes as you rested against Sirius’ chest. “I can’t—I can’t think straight right now. Too much.”

“Okay,” Remus whispered, though his fingers twitched and his lips pursed. “Yeah, darling. Go to sleep. We’ll still be here in the morning.”

It took you a very long time to finally lose consciousness. You lay there, dwelling and agonising for hours, until the steady beat of Sirius’ heart lulled you to sleep. 

── .✦

The next morning, you were the first to wake. You studied the men on either side of you, unsure if you were freaked out by their aged faces or calmed by them. A part of you was relieved that they got to see this age, and they survived a war you hadn’t managed to. The other part of you couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that there was no other version of you that got to wake up to this. 

They both mostly looked the same. Both had a few silvers running through their hair, and the slightest of wrinkles around their eyes. It was obvious they were older in a handsome way, tattoos adorning every inch of Sirius’ skin in a way that had you almost breathless. 

You traced them until he stirred slightly, and then you froze, a nervousness washing over you that you usually didn’t get with the boys. You supposed that was because these weren’t boys, but men. You didn’t know this version of Sirius and Remus; these were around eighteen years older than you and had lived lives you’d never know about. 

You hesitated for a few moments, your thoughts drifting to the version of Sirius and Remus who were downstairs in the medical wing. You suddenly yearned for them more than ever, even if their elder selves were with you. Very carefully, you chose the one who used to always sleep like a log and prayed that was still true. Climbing over Sirius’ sleeping figure was a sport you had become extremely skilled at, especially because he liked to lie flat on his stomach. 

Pulling on Remus’ jumper, you hesitated, watching them both sleep peacefully in the bed. Remus’ nose twitched, just like it always did. His hand splayed out across the mattress, as if looking for you or Sirius. You decided to leave before they woke up. 

You stalked down all of the staircases, not a soul in sight, until you made it to the infirmary. You pushed the door open and headed straight for the two occupied beds at the end of the hall. Remus was already awake, a book in his hands and his eyes bleary from, knowing him, lack of sleep. 

“Hi,” you breathed, and dropped into the chair next to him. 

He looked pleased to see you, his face melting into a smile. “Y/N. It’s so early. Why are you here?”

“I just needed to come and see you both,” you whispered, but your voice cracked at his gentle face, and your eyes welled with hot tears, much to your horror. 

Remus quickly placed the book down, concerned, and he pulled his blankets off his legs. 

“No, no, no,” you attempted to usher him back in. “Rest, Rem. Stop. Don’t worry about me, I just… I had a nightmare last night. I’m being silly.”

He looked dramatically less concerned, his face easing into a look of sympathy as he made a soft sound in the back of his throat. “Oh, sweetheart. You had a nightmare, did you? What was it about?”

You hesitated and gulped down the lump in your throat. It felt like all of the air was stuck there, and something was squeezing your chest unrelentingly. 

“I died,” you blurted. “A couple of years into the war. I got murdered. You and Sirius—you both were really sad afterwards.”

Remus’ brows tugged together, and he opened his arms out to you. You climbed into them, careful of all of his wounds, resting your head on his chest. You felt better nearly instantly, but dread sank in your stomach like an anchor—a constant, aching reminder that you would only have this for the next couple of years. You looked over at a sleeping Sirius. In a couple of years, he would be in Azkaban. Remus would be alone, a shell of the person he was before. 

“That won’t happen,” Remus whispered, stroking your hair. You almost believed him from the softness and sincerity in his tone. “You’re safe with us, baby. I’ve got you.”

The tears streamed even more easily down your face.

“Y/N?” Sirius’ groggy voice came from the bed over. “Is she okay, Rem?”

“Poor thing’s had a nightmare,” Remus said, and it wasn’t long before you heard the duvet shuffle and the padding of feet over to you. 

“Darling,” Sirius whined dotingly, and stole you from Remus’ arms, dotting kisses throughout your hair. “You’re alright. Was it that bad?”

“I just—it felt really, really real,” you sniffled. “And I’m—I’m— I was thinking what would happen to the two of you if something really did happen to me.”

Remus’ face contorted. “Don’t ask questions like that, love.”

“Yeah, it won’t ever happen,” Sirius said forcefully. “Never, Y/N.”

You grasped his jumper tighter. 

“Gods, your hands are shaking, sweetheart,” Sirius muttered. 

“Sorry,” you murmured, and dragged yourself away from him. 

They both watched you with such soft, kind eyes. Your heart ached, pulsating and dying all at once. You itched to grab them again. 

You wanted this forever. You wanted to know the two boys in the tower above you, too—you wanted to watch this Sirius and Remus grow into the men upstairs. Hopefully, happier, less traumatised versions. 

You’d felt a weird sense of nausea when you’d woken up earlier, looking at the familiar faces of your boyfriends and realising you didn’t know them, and would never know them. 

You needed to know them.  

“I’m going to get ready for the day,” you breathed out. “I’ll shower and put some clean clothes on, and then I’m going to come down here with some games or something for us to play. It’s Christmas Eve, you know.”

Remus frowned. “Let us come with you.”

“No, no. I’m going to get the house elves to make us something really nice, okay?” You said, and your encouraging smile lifted their spirits slightly. “You’re right. Both of you. It was just a dream.”

You had your answer for the Sirius and Remus upstairs.

Remus flicked the ashes of his cigarette out of the bedroom window, smoke leaving his lips along with a chuckle. "Yeah, right."

Sirius shrugged as he took a drag from his cigarette. "The results speak for themselves."

James, who didn't smoke because it would taint his athlete lungs (as he so humbly put it), propped one leg up as he backed up against the bed frame, adjusting his position on the floor. "You fucking wish."

"I could do that if I tried. You're not special, Pads. I just don't because I know it would be too much for a girl, especially around the full moon," Remus said.

"Oh here he goes again with his rough sex werewolf shit," James threw his hands up in the air, getting a laugh from Sirius.

"Stay jealous, Prongs. Stay jealous," Remus replied.

"Never made a girl squirt though, have you? You stay jealous, Moons," Sirius challenged.

"Surely you know that we do not believe you," James said.

Sirius sighed, leaning back onto his mattress, propping himself up on his elbows. "Well, when her cum shot all over my face, it did feel pretty fuckin' unbelievable."

"Just because virgins think you're good in the sack doesn't mean you are," Remus chimed back in, "how are they supposed to know that there's so much better out there?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Sirius said, leaning back up and tilting forward in Remus's direction, "I didn't realize you have a history of fuckin' making virgins squirt. I didn't realize this topic was so familiar to you, how dare I."

"It can't be that hard to make a virgin squirt, Sirius, I'm feelin' like that's pretty easy," James said.

"The real challenge is with experienced girls," Remus said, blowing more smoke out of the window, "You think you're all that? Get back to me when you make someone impossible to please come. Not even to squirt, just to come."

Sirius diverted his gaze from Remus to James, who looked to Remus, who looked back at James, who then turned to Sirius. "That a challenge?" Sirius asked.

"Maybe it is."

"Well if I'm gonna try, you're gonna try, you fucking asshole," Sirius told Remus.

"What, is James just off the hook? We all know he can't do it anyways."

James threw his hands up again. "I can do it."

"Okay, so pick a girl," Sirius said, raising his brows in challenge.

In a mocking voice, Remus joked, "but how will we ever find a girl that sex god Sirius Black can't please?"

"You think Y/N would do it?" James asked.

"You don't think that might ruin our friendship?" Remus questioned.

"Let's review," James said, standing up and beginning to count his points on his fingers, "one, we've all been friends with her for forever, so she trusts us. Two, we all know she's got experience, and we know there's a bunch of guys who haven't been able to make her come. Three, she doesn't strike me as someone who would get attached and ruin our friendships over sex. And four, perhaps the most important of all: she's hot and we all wanna fuck her."

"How the fuck do we even broach that subject?" Sirius asked, "are we supposed to ask her to let us fuck her as a competition? Do we just try to kiss her and see where it leads? This is Y/N for fucks sake."

"Correct," Remus responded, "it`'s just Y/N. I feel like it'll be way easier to ask her than some other random girl."

"Oh, Sirius has no problem asking random girls for sex," James joked, though he was serious.

"The only reason we're friends with Y/N is because she turned you down, do you remember that, Jamie?" Sirius shot back.

"She didn't turn me down, jackass, she was in a relationship. Otherwise, I would have for sure gotten to hit that."

"Big bad James and his big bad muscles on the big bad Quidditch team, ok then," Remus joked, "irresistible to all girls. Oh wait! Except for one."

"If you're jealous of my body, Moons, just say it. This," he gestured down his torso, "takes a lot of work."

"You're really talking yourself up when my skinny ass gets more girls than you do, and more boys too, for that matter. I'm sorry, which one of us has had sex with the majority of your Quidditch team? Oh, not you? Weird," Remus responded.

“You know that fraternization on the team would be frowned upon, why would you say that when you know-“

“Oh relax,” Remus cut James off.

“Doesn’t matter how many guys you get, Moons, you still can’t make Y/N come.”

“What are we, just going off the honors system here? I already don’t believe Sirius made someone squirt, you two want me to believe you if you just say you did it? Where’s the proof?” James questioned.

“Proof? What do you want us to do, suck her cum up in a syringe, you fucking weirdo?” Remus replied.

“No no, it’s a fair point,” Sirius chimed in, “I don’t believe half the shit you tell me anyway.”

“Ok, so what do you wanna do then? Fuck her at the same time?” Remus asked.

James and Sirius exchanged a long glance.

“You two aren’t serious.”

James and Sirius both shrugged.

“I’m not fucking her with you two idiots in the room ruining it,” Remus said.

“Oh, I beg to differ,” Sirius said, “I’d only make it better. For her especially.”

“Would not.”

“Would too.”

“You think you’re such a fucking sex god-“

“It’s not a little weird to fuck the same girl at the same time? What are we gonna do, take turns?” James asked.

“She’s got three holes,” Sirius said.

“Okay, but the entire point of fucking her is to see who can actually make her come, idiot,” Remus said, “so obviously that doesn’t matter. I’m not sticking my dick somewhere that I’ll be able to feel one of yours, guys.”

“Why not?” James asked genuinely.

“Because, because-“

“Because, because, come on, Rem, it’s only weird if you make it weird. I’ve seen your dick before.”

“Me changing in front of you is not the same as us fucking someone at the same time.”

“The thought of watching her get railed by one of us doesn’t do anything for you?” James asked.

Remus blinked, unable to cohesively think of a rebuttal. “I mean.”

“Mhm,” Sirius nodded.

“Okay, so it’s agreed, we’re all gonna fuck her with the rest of us there so we have proof we aren’t lying, and we’re gonna see who can make her come,” James said.

“What if we can all make her come?” Remus asked.

“Then whoever does it first?” James tried.

“That doesn’t necessarily mean anything, I mean what if she comes harder for one of us? Once she comes it’s gonna be too easy to make her come again. Like that’s not a good gage,” Sirius said.

“No no, we share space equitably. No one hogs any part of her. Whoever makes her come first, wins,” Remus said.

“Wins what, exactly?” Sirius said.

James shrugged. “Let’s let her decide.”

────── ☾ ──────

Your gaze diverted between the three boys in front of you, your book laying open in your lap as you adjusted your cross-legged position on the common room couch. “Are you joking?”

“Nope,” said Sirius.

You processed for a few moments. “Okay, and what exactly do you get if you make me come first?” you asked.

James dipped his head and smirked. “We were uh- we were actually gonna let you decide that one.”

You raised your brows. “You were, were you?”

“…Yeah.”

You nodded your head up and down, thinking and processing. “And you all just assumed I’d say yes?”

“Honestly I don’t think we ever got that far,” Remus admitted.

“Right, right,” you said, “right.”

“You can say no, you know,” Sirius said.

You turned toward him. “I know.”

“So are you saying no?” he asked.

“No,” you replied, quicker than you anticipated.

“Are you saying yes?” Sirius pressed.

You pondered Sirius’s question. “Can I have a day or two to think about it?”

“Of course, of course,” James said.

Luckily you had plans in Hogsmeade the next day, which gave you an opportunity to give the boys an answer.

When Dorcas and Mary left the Hog’s Head early to “work on some overdue assignments,” you were left alone with the boys.

“So I have an answer for you,” you said.

“Already?” Remus said.

“Yeah, already, jackass.”

“And?”

“I’m down.”

All three boys exchanged glances. “Yeah?”

“Don’t act so surprised. You said no strings, you guys are hot, and fuck if I don’t need a good orgasm. The boys around here don’t do it for me, as you well know.” You’d tipsily told them several times how none of the boys at school could make you come.

“And you think we can?”

“If you’re really gonna try this hard, I think at least one of you has a shot. With all the sex you have? Please. If one of you can’t make me come, no one can. It’s worth a shot, and three tries is better than one.”

“Oh, so you’re using us?” Sirius joked.

“Mm, only because you guys wanted to use me first,” you lightheartedly shot back.

“Fair enough,” Sirius surrendered.

The conversation quickly shifted when butterbeers and pumpkin juices arrived, and all attention turned toward drinking games and late-night escapades.

As you walked through the cool-breezed, darkened streets of Hogsmeade, you took note of the lack of people around. You were sure the boys didn't notice.

"Where are you going?" Remus asked, watching you drift toward an alleyway.

You made a come-hither motion at the boys as you stepped into the alleyway, scanning quickly for any sign of life and finding none.

"What are you-" you grabbed Remus's face, cutting him off with a kiss. Without a second thought, Remus's hands found your waist, pulling you closer to him on instinct.

Both you and Remus were experienced enough to turn the kiss into a heated exchange quickly. You bit his bottom lip, and in turn, he took the moment of disconnection to slip his tongue into your mouth.

He took steps forward, backing you up until your back collided with the outer brick siding of Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop. Remus pulled away, thinking he had slammed your body into the wall too hard, but you immediately pulled him back. His body had no choice but to respond immediately, his hand holding the side of your jaw in place as his lips traveled down to the side of your neck.

The gap of his face in front of yours allowed you time to open your eyes and see Sirius and James watching the exchange intently.

"Guess Remus is going first then?" you teased.

"No, no, that's not the arrangement," Sirius said, "we all said no hogging. We all get equal shots. Move the fuck over."

Sirius grabbed your throat and pulled you forward into a kiss, causing Remus to stumble to the side in defeat.

Remus gestured to James to do what was just done to him to Sirius, but James wasn't one to fight for attention. James was one to wait until he was wanted, and until you were begging from attention from him. He would wait his turn patiently.

"Heathens," he snickered, "let her breathe for 2 seconds, would ya?"

Sirius pulled away, but his hand remained on your throat. "I'm sorry, I don't see you winning right now, do I? Shut up and maybe you'll learn something."

He resumed kissing you, and his hand dropped from your throat, tracing down your body until it landed between your legs. He pulled away to look into your eyes. You gave him a "yes" nod to signal that you consented to his touches.

That was the moment Remus decided he was done standing there like an idiot.

He dropped to his knees directly beside Sirius, tracing his fingers tauntingly slowly up your thighs, aiming for under your house-colored skirt.

Sirius noticed his efforts, and their hands collided directly on your underwear.

Like petulant little boys, you felt Sirius smack Remus's hand away, then Remus's hand smack him back, and then Sirius pulled his hand out from under your shirt and smacked Remus on the side of the head.

"Ass," Remus said his body moving sideways, causing his hand to leave its place under your skirt, "what the fuck was that for?"

"No one said we have to play fair," Sirius replied, shoving his hand back under your skirt and cupping between your thighs.

You barely reacted apart from a small gasp.

"You really are a tough one, huh?" Sirius teased, his hand falling for a moment.

Smirking, you responded, "you wanna make me come? You're gonna have to put in the work. Unless you think you can't handle it? Too busy fucking girls and not women?"

"Working me up is only gonna make this more intense for you," Sirius taunted, "you're playing a dangerous game."

"Don't listen to him, he's a cocky fuck," James laughed from behind Sirius.

You shifted your hips and let out a small moan. Sirius thought his words were really working you up, until he looked down to see that Remus had not only snuck his way between your legs while you and Sirius were talking, but that his head disappeared under your skirt.

Sirius decided to let Remus do some of the hard work before he chimed back in to bring you to the edge, so he stepped back, crossing his arms and sighing as he stood next to James. "At least flip the skirt up for me, gorgeous."

You pulled your skirt up, bunching it up and tucking it into its own waistband, leaving Remus visible, and when he pulled away to breathe, your core as well.

Remus flicked his tongue over your clit, one hand on your hip hooking a thumb around the fabric of your underwear to keep it to the side. Your fingers intertwined into his soft curls, keeping him in place as he moved his tongue faster and faster.

"You're kinda good at this," you spoke breathily, earning a moan of acknowledgement, the vibrations adding to your pleasure.

James decided to step in, standing to your side and turning your face toward him to finally take his turn at a kiss. The kiss was slow and passionate, the intimacy of it making you even wetter for Remus between your legs. His glasses fogged up due to the heat radiating off of your body.

When James pulled away, he kept a hand under your chin to keep your eyes on him instead of Remus. Remus's unoccupied hand began to take over his tongue's spot, circling your clit as he moved his face further back, teasing your entrance.

You let out a moan, staring into James's eyes. James nodded when you made the noise. "Good girl, that feel good?"

"Mhm," you responded, moaning again.

Remus's tongue began to fuck into you, his hand still working your clit. You used your hand to press his face further into you, refusing to give up the pleasure. You so rarely were properly pleasured by men, since they were typically unfamiliar with how to actually work their way around a woman's body, but you had a feeling that at least one of these three had to know what they were doing. You hoped it would be all of them.

As far as who you wanted to win, well, you didn't really have a preference. Honestly, all of them were hot, and you would be happy coming for any of them. Of course, there was a little bit of stake in the game. They allowed you to pick the prize for whoever won. You hadn't told them yet, but the prize would be you. Consistent sex-capades with the one girl around who could truly do it for them? That's a prize in itself.

You knew they had a lot of sex. You knew they slept with a ton of people, but you also knew that they were usually the ones giving the pleasure, not receiving it. The prize? That would change.

"Fuck, Jamie," you moaned, still staring into his eyes as Remus ate you out.

Remus pulled away, his hand never stopping as he said, "that's not fucking fair, I'm the one doing the work down here. He didn't even earn his name."

"And you think you did?" James challenged.

"She's only moanin' cus of me," Remus shot back.

"Well, you clearly haven't made her come, and you've been down there long enough," James said, "my turn."

Remus had the same thought as Sirius, and opted to let James do some of the work as well.

He sighed and backed up, and James dropped to his knees.

Despite being on his knees, James gripped the back of your thighs, hoisting you up so that your thighs were resting on his shoulders. You squealed in surprise at his strength.

"You're strong," you said.

"You have no idea," he responded, gripping your ass and pushing you into his face, immediately beginning to move his tongue at a rapid pace, his head shaking back and forth from the speed.

"Oh fuck," you moaned, throwing your head back and knocking it against the brick, "fuck, just like that."

Sirius approached again, standing directly behind James an pushing his head further into you. He leaned over James and kissed you, swallowing to whimper that followed.

James refused to stop, eating you out like he was starving. Each time you made a noise that Sirius found hot, he pushed James's head harder into you. James didn't let out a single noise of protest.

You looked down and spotted Sirius's hand on James's head, forcing him to increase the pleasure his mouth was giving you, and it caused your core to flex.

"Fuck," you gasped, "oh my god, James, fuck."

"Earned his name, I see," Sirius teased, turning to Remus.

Remus pretended to act annoyed, but anyone could see his dick straining against his pants for dear life. Even if the name you moaned wasn't his, it was still hot nevertheless, and he knew it would be his name when he was the one making you come. He had no doubts. Why not let James and Sirius have a little fun first?

Part of the reason you were so hard to make come was that man didn't understand that just eating out or just penetration wasn't enough for you. These boys had no idea that as long as they remained kneeling between your legs, they were already way off.

It took ten minutes of James eating you out before he took a breath. "Fucking hell, are you close?"

You giggled. "I don't know, am I?"

Remus caught on. "You need to be fucked, huh?"

"Okay fuck you, she might actually be close," James said, but stood up anyways.

"Didn't you guys pick me because you knew it wouldn't be easy?" you asked.

James gripped your chin and pulled your face against his, trapping you in a heated kiss to remind you that he could, in fact, make you feel good.

“Up,” Remus said, snaking his arms around your thighs, prompting you to jump and wrap your legs around his hips.

You watched in the gap between your bodies as Remus pushed everything below the waist down, exposing his long, slender cock.

He gently pressed his forehead against yours, looking between your bodies as well as he lined himself up with your entrance. He waited a moment for you to revoke consent, but when you didn’t, he pushed himself into you.

You tilted your head back as he bottomed out, barely giving you any time to adjust before he started fucking you.

You locked your legs behind him, crossing your feet to keep you in place. He kept his hands under your thighs to hold you up as he fucked you, his lips trailing down to your jawline.

“Shit, Remus,” you moaned.

The use of his name only egged him on more, causing him to start fucking into you faster. “Good fucking girl, I can feel you squeezing me,” he whispered into your air.

You whined and whimpered as his cock pumped in out of you, and Remus was beginning to lose control.

You squirmed momentarily, and Remus grabbed your hand in his own, moving it over your head and pinning it against the brick wall. “Stay fucking still.”

You saw a window of opportunity, and arched your back. “Or what?” you breathily asked.

Remus nearly growled, immediately dropping your hand and wrapping his fingers around your throat. He snapped his hips harshly, not caring about the competition anymore, just caring about fucking you the hardest you’ve ever been fucked. His hand pressed your neck into the brick, rendering you unable to move your head. In tandem with deep thrusts, he repeated, “stay. Fucking. Still.”

You obeyed.

You opened your eyes and spotted James, who was covering half of his face with his hand, breathing deeply to maintain self control. The eye contact only added to your arousal, because James’s eyes were trained on you so intensely that you almost couldn’t handle it.

Your hands explored Remus’s body, feeling muscles on his arms that you couldn’t see in the light of day on his relatively skinny frame. You pawed at his hips, involuntarily trying to push each thrust even further into you.

Sirius approached you two, his cock in hand as he gently stroked himself. “Let her off the wall.”

Remus, sweaty and losing breath, removed his lips from sucking your jawline to look at Sirius. “I’m fucking occupied.”

“Let her off the wall,” Sirius repeated, “I didn’t say you had to stop fucking her.”

Remus dipped his head into the crook of your neck. “I fucking hate you,” he said, directed as Sirius, but he remembered the terms he agreed to, and knew he was hogging you. So he moved his hands to your thighs again, and stepped backward from the building, his cock still in you.

The shifting of his hips as he moved was causing stimulation without Remus even trying.

Remus turned so that your back was to Sirius, and he resumed fucking you, slower this time. His arms moved you slightly up and down to aid in his thrusts, his hips moving the best he could without you pressed against the wall.

Sirius pressed your back against his chest, his head dipping into the crook of your neck as he began to kiss your shoulder, your neck, and your jawline, until he turned your head sideways and kissed you.

You allowed your body to fall into him, Remus’s thrusts causing you to jerk upward every few seconds. Sirius fought to hold your head against his, but honestly you moving due to getting fucked only made him harder.

“You ever done this back here before?” Sirius whispered to you.

“Mhm,” you responded, barely able to speak from how hard Remus was thrusting into you.

Sirius spit into his hand and rubbed it up and down his cock, preparing himself.

“Stop for a second,” Sirius told Remus.

“Fuck no,” Remus said, lost in pleasure.

“Stop for a second or this could hurt her, dumbass,” Sirius clarified.

Remus stopped thrusting and pressed his forehead to your collarbone, catching his breath for a second and trying to stay still until he could resume movement.

Sirius lined himself up, wrapping one hand around your stomach, and using the other hand to hold your ass up as he slowly pushed himself into your ass.

You leaned your head back onto his shoulder, allowing him to take his time stretching you.

“Would you fucking hurry up?” Remus snapped, clearly annoyed.

“You can wait 10 more seconds,” Sirius replied, trying to focus on restraint.

“Shouldn’t have to, selfish fuck.”

“I’m selfish? Who just stood here fucking her without me or James getting-“

“Just fucking get to it,” Remus was losing control by the second.

“That’s what I’m doing, thank you very much.”

“It’s just like you to be cocky while you’re literally sticking your dick in-“

“Well maybe if you stopped fucking distracting me then I-“

“Would you two please shut up and fuck me?” you chimed in.

Sirius was finally bottomed out, and he tested the waters by thrusting only an inch or two at a time. Once he started a normal pace, Remus began his own relentless pace again, barely even acknowledging that Sirius was there.

When Remus thrusted in, jerking you backward, Sirius would take the opportunity to thrust forward as well, the two boys not having to move a ton because you were being tossed between their cocks, the movements giving you makeshift thrusts.

“James,” you said.

He perked up, somewhat shocked that you said his name while sandwiched between his two best friends.

“Yeah?”

“I need you to touch me,” you said.

Remus and Sirius both looked up to acknowledge what was happening, but ended up looking up directly at each other.

They stayed watching each other for a moment, their breaths staggered and their faces glistening from sweat.

Sirius reached past you and grabbed the back of Remus’s head, pulling him in.

Sirius and Remus’s lips collided directly next to you, and the sight of them kissing as they both fucked you almost did you in.

Almost. James approached your other side, not daring to interrupt the hotness of the kiss, and he placed his own soft kiss on your temple.

“You want me to touch you?” he teased.

“Please, Jamie,” you were not above pleading to get what you want.

James ran his hand down your body, which was still bouncing up and down, slowly dragging between your breast area and down your stomach. He stilled just under your skirt’s waistband.

“Ask me for it again,” James said.

“Please touch me, James, I need it so bad.”

His hand moved lower.

“How bad? You need me to make you come?”

“I need it, I wanna come, please Jamie, please.”

“Atta girl,” he said.

He kissed you as he began circling your clit with his finger. You moaned into the kiss, garnering the attention of Sirius and Remus, who breathily pulled away from one another to watch your body react to now being touched.

You leaned back against Sirius, your moans escalating in both frequency and volume.

“Oh m- fuck, I’m gonna come,” you moaned.

Sirius and Remus both began to fuck you harder, but you stopped them quickly.

“No, no, do what you were doing,” you said, “don’t escalate. Fuck me like you were.”

The boys both resumed their previous pace, and you felt the knot begin to form in your stomach.

James applied a slight bit more pressure to your clit, and you knew you were in for it.

“I’m coming, I-“

You came hard, your wetness completely coating Remus’s cock as your orgasm washed over you. It was so intense, likely from your body not being used to men making you come like this, that your legs started to shake. You would have fallen if it weren’t for two boys holding you between them.

James gradually slowed his hand down, kissing you through the orgasm to help calm you down.

Remus couldn’t help himself but join you. He hit your cervix with three brutal thrusts as he allowed himself to come, his head resting on your shoulder as he took a breath.

After you and Remus had calmed down, Sirius pulled out of you, allowing Remus to place you down. You stayed clinging onto Remus, not convinced that your legs would work after being hoisted up for so long.

Sirius had already taken a step back to finish himself off, roaring lowly as he came and painted a brick on the wall white.

That left James, who looked completely pleased and content.

“You didn’t-“

“Oh, I did,” James said, looking down.

You spotted the wet patch between his legs, and realized that James came without any stimulation of his own, but just from watching all of you and doing to you what he did.

Remus finally pulled out of you, stepping back from you and running his fingers through his hair. “Fuck.”

After a few minutes of everyone resetting and catching their breath, it was Sirius who finally asked, “so? Who won?”

“Clearly me,” James said, “she asked me to touch her, and that’s what did her in.”

“I’m sorry, whose cock was hitting her g-spot?” Remus smiled.

“It was the DP that did it, obviously, idiots,” Sirius defended himself.

They all turned to you.

“Tie.”

“No no no, it’s not a fucking tie,” Sirius said, walking back over to you, “which one of us did it for you? You have to pick one.”

“No I don’t,” you shrugged.

“Yes, you do.”

“No, I don’t, Sirius,” you said, “I’m allowed to decide it’s a tie. I’m not in your little competition, I don’t have to follow any rules. It’s a tie.”

“But-“

“You were all fucking me at the same time, what did you expect?”

“So- so who gets whatever the winner gets, then?” James asked.

“All of you, I guess.”

“Yeah? And what do we all get?” Remus asked.

“Well, you all just came, so I guess you gotta wait,” you responded.

James raised his brows. “The prize is a blowjob? From you?”

“Yeah,” you said, “as many as you want, whatever you want with me, whenever you want, yeah.”

Remus smirked. Sirius chuckled and smiled wide, and James was still in disbelief.

“I haven’t come that hard in months,” Remus said.

The evening turned quickly into night which turned into the early hours of the morning, and one by one, all of your friends cut out and headed to bed. Lily and Marlene were the last to leave, leaving only Barty and Evan now. They too said they would head to bed, but wanted Remus to roll them a joint they could all share before they left.

The boys enthusiastically agreed and Remus started rolling. 

You don’t know how the topic of sex was introduced, Sirius made a comment to Barty along the lines of “You’re just leaving so you can wind up in Rosier’s bed.” Which then made him reply with “Careful, or I might just take Y/N along with us when we go and show her what a real good time looks like,” as he made grabby hands for you.

You chuckled and swatted his hands away, hoping a blush wasn’t creeping across your cheeks for them to see. The thought of that…

Remus finished rolling the joint and lit it, the room becoming hazy with smoke. “Is that something you'd be interested in, love?” he questioned you. He had a tone of curiosity laced in his voice mixed with something familiar to you, excitement at the thought. Shit, maybe you were blushing, because how did he sense that from across the room? Both Sirius and James perked up at this. 

It’s not like you hadn’t thought about Evan and Barty in that way, in fact, Barty was the first crush you ever had. But ever since you started dating your boys, no one else interested you at all.

Sure the boys could share, they shared you didn’t they? But you never thought that they would be interested in sharing you with others. 

“W-what,” you stuttered. 

Remus passed the joint off to Evan who was looking at you with intrigue, and waltzed over to where you sat cross legged in an oversized armchair. “We can share,” he said, motioning to Sirius and James. “In fact, this is something we’ve talked about before, we just didn’t know if you would be up for it.” Was the weed making him that much bolder? To say all of this in front of Barty and Evan?

You opened and closed your mouth a few times, trying to find the right words, but ultimately failing. You looked to Sirius and James for reassurance, but they were no help, giving you the same lust filled eyes that you were receiving from Barty and Evan now.

The air in the room suddenly felt too thick to breathe, all you could do was stare up at Remus.

His gaze softened on you for a moment. “Baby, if you say yes, we would love to watch our pretty girl,” he explained softly to you. “But if you say no we’ll just tell them to fuck off and have you ourselves, does that sound alright?”

You smiled slightly, the tension easing a bit. Then you nodded up at him, “It is something that interests me.”

He smiled down at you, placing his palm on your cheek which you happily nuzzled into.

“Wait, so you’re saying you want to watch us fuck your girl?” Evan asked, amusement written all over his face.

“That’s what we’re saying,” James affirmed.

“What’s ours is yours.” Sirius said, causing Barty to laugh and Evan to eye you up and down. “For tonight.” 

Evan made his way to where you were still perched in the armchair, taking your face in his hand. The action was so like what Remus had just done, but it couldn’t feel any more different. Remus’s hand was soft and gentle, while Evan’s was rougher, gripping your jaw tighter and squishing your cheek into a pout, forcing you to look up at him.

“You sure about this doll?” He asked quietly. You did your best to nod for him but this made him tsk. “None of that, words.” he demanded.

“Yes, I’m sure.” you replied, his grip making it a bit tough to respond but you managed.

“Good,” he hummed.

Barty then made his way over as well. Both the tall men eyeing you down, you felt smaller than ever under their gazes.

Maybe it was because he wanted to hurry this along, or maybe he was taking pity on you, but Barty held out his hand for you to take. You hesitated but placed your hand in his as he pulled you to your feet, his grasp surprisingly gentle. He pulled you up and in between his and Evan’s bodies, both encroaching on your space.

Barty tilted your head up to look him in the eye. He looked so calm right now, a direct contrast to his usual demeanor. Maybe he could sense the nerves radiating off of you, so he was making it easier, making you more comfortable. He leaned in and kissed the tip of your nose, the act so unsensual to the moment, but felt like just what you needed. You cracked a smile up at him.

“There she is,” he hummed in response, taking your face in both hands. He leaned in again, this time kissing your jaw, then down to your neck. You relaxed, your head falling back and right onto the shoulder of Evan who had copied Barty’s movements, beginning to kiss the other side of your neck.

You peeked over to your boyfriends, all lounging on the sofas across from you, James falling into the armchair you had just vacated. You were looking to see any sign of hesitation, any sign that they weren’t comfortable with this, but the looks on their faces told you there was nothing to worry about right now. James had a look of awe in his eyes while Remus was relaxing into the sofa and getting comfortable, waiting for the show to begin. You couldn’t quite place the look that Sirius had, somewhere between amusement and thrill of a challenge in front of him.

This was their way of saying ‘go ahead, relax, have fun.’ So fun you would have.

You felt Evan’s hands begin to wander from behind you, feeling his way slowly from your hips to your waist.

A single thought continued to bounce around your skull as the two boys sucked harshly at your jaw and neck, a thought that you couldn’t shake. You smiled to yourself, if it was a show your boyfriends want, then it was a show they would get. 

You moaned out and entangled your fingers into Evan’s wavy locks. You gripped his hair and this seemed to encourage him as he chuckled against your skin, the heat warming the entire side of your face, then nipping at the spot.

You whimpered and moved your hips back, just enough to brush against Evan. He gripped your hips even tighter and pulled you impossibly close to him.

“I love the noises she makes,” Barty mused, now smirking down at you. He took the bottom of your shirt and lifted it slowly, you not stopping him at all. He lifted it over your head and pulled it off of you finally, throwing it over to your boyfriends. Evan took this time to unclasp your bra, letting it pop open before sliding it down your arms and letting it fall to the floor. You took a deep, steadying breath as Barty smiled softly down at you. You took the initiative and slid your shorts down your legs, stepping out of them and leaving you only in your panties in front of them.

He took your wrist in his hand before falling backwards onto the couch across from your boyfriends, pulling you down with him.

You squealed as you landed on top of him, giggling the whole way down.

Barty adjusted himself on the couch as you made your way down his legs, making sure to keep your eyes on him the entire time. He looked heavenly and you didn’t want to miss a moment of his expressions as you unbuttoned and pulled the zipper down on his jeans.

You struggled a bit on purpose and looked up at him with a faux pathetic expression to get him to help you. He leaned forward to place yet another kiss on the tip of your nose before sliding his jeans down for you. You pouted up at him and tugged at the waistband, wanting to get him to do all the work for you.

“Awe,” He cooed, “not used to putting in some hard work yourself?”

You frowned and slipped a finger in his waistband, pulling back and letting it snap against his abdomen. He snatched your wrist in his hand, amused but clearly growing frustrated by your actions.

“I'll help this once,” he said, the most stern you had heard him this entire time, “But be a good girl, yeah?”

He slid his boxers off, his dick already red and leaking. He was big, probably the same size as Sirius. You looked up at him and smiled.

Before moving any further, you looked to your boyfriends to check that everything was still alright. Both Sirius and James already had their hands wrapped around their cocks, lazily tugging and watching you. You smiled again, turning your attention to the cock in front of you.

You started by licking Barty from base to tip, just like how Siri showed you all that time ago. You gave him a few licks which earned you a small groan and you giggled at the sound, peaking a look up at him, his head thrown back and shirt riding up his toned stomach.

You took his tip fully in your mouth, giving it a little suck, intent on taking your time and working him up, but Barty being Barty had it down your throat with one quick thrust. It made sense, you hadn’t seen Barty sit still for all of three minutes in a normal situation. You gagged a little at the intrusion, but quickly recovered, fitting as much of him in your mouth as you could, then using your hand for the rest.

“Good girl,” He praised, head still thrown over the edge of the couch.

You sucked again and again, hollowing your cheeks and taking him  as deep as you could, setting your own pace.

 You felt Evan’s fingers trace the outline of your core over your panties, the fabric no doubt soaked through. He used his thumb to rub your clit in small circles. 

You moaned at the feeling, the vibrations making Barty moan as well, the sound utterly sinful. Barty pulled your hair off of your face and into a makeshift ponytail, disregarding your set pace and fucking your throat at his own instead.

Evan picked up on this and rubbed your clit in rhythm to Barty’s thrusts. You choked out another moan, eyes watering as you tried to catch little breaths in between Barty’s ruthless pace.

Evan’s hands gripped your hips again, placing himself behind you. He was getting impatient, you could tell by his movements. He didn’t even try to pull off your panties for you, he just pulled them to the side and continued his ministrations to your clit. 

Barty’s breathing became uneven and shallow, you looked up at him through your lashes and could see how good you were making him feel. His brows were pulled tight together and his mouth was open slightly, letting out whines and breathless moans. It was nothing compared to the noises that James makes, but for now it would do.

Before you could even think, you felt the tip of Evan’s dick tracing up and down your dripping core. The action made you gasp around Barty’s dick. You wiggled your hips the best you could, trying to feel more of Evan and test the waters.

You heard Evan chuckle behind you, felt his hand leave your ass and swat down. This made you jump, Barty’s dick managing to hit the back of your throat without a warning. You whined as Barty moaned.

You pulled off of him for a moment, intent on complaining to Evan that he made you choke, but before you could turn your way around and get him in your line of sight, he slammed himself into you.

This made you jerk forward, your cheek pressed to Barty’s abdomen. “Ugh, why’d you stop, pretty?” he asked you.

You weren’t able to answer him due to the way Evan was pounding into you. You were trying to catch your breath in order to moan, but the pace that Evan had set made you almost forget how. You dug your nails into Barty’s thighs under you, hoping it would ground you somewhat. Barty hissed in pain above you, but made no move to stop you.

Evan was sliding in and out of you so easily, so quickly, you had no time to even think about anything except how good you felt.

You caught a glimpse of your boyfriends across from you, Sirius’s mouth now around Remus who was looking you dead in the eye and smoke falling from his parted lips. On any normal occasion, this sight would be enough to push you over the edge, but now, it somehow drew you back into reality. 

You moaned, the sound filling the space and mixing with Evan’s groans and James’s breathless sounds from the other side of the room. Every noise borderline pornographic. 

Barty gently brushed a lock of hair from your face. “Feel good, pretty girl?” he asked, a smug grin cut across his face.

“Y-yes,” you moaned out, remembering to play it up a bit for your voyeur boyfriends. 

“Who does this pussy belong to?” Evan chuckled, keeping up his pace. You were slightly caught off guard with that question, trying to focus on an answer. Impatient, he reached down to pull your hair,  giving it a tug until you were eye to eye with Barty who smirked and tilted his head to the side, waiting for your answer.

“R-remmy-y and Siri.. a-and Ja-amsie.” you replied. Although Evan was fucking you, you would never betray your boys. You were wholly theirs, and they were yours.

“Is that so? Then how come we’re the ones getting to use it now? Huh?” he teased.

“Cause they’re just s-so generous. Helpin’ out t-the less fortunate ‘n a-all” you replied, still finding a way to brat off. This probably made Sirius prouder than ever. At least just because it wasn’t him you were mouthing off to.

“She really does have a mouth on her doesn’t she?” He asked Barty and without warning flipped you onto your stomach, continuing his brutal pace. You had to hand it to them, they were trying their hardest to break you, but you couldn’t be broken. Not when you won the lottery not once but three times over in Sirius, James, and Remus.

“Fuck!” You cried out and arched your back, this new position had Evan hitting your sweet spot over and over in the most perfect way. Your eyes screwed shut as you felt yourself barreling towards the edge.

Evan pulled out and stood from where he was kneeling behind you. “Switch with me.” He ordered Barty.

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Barty answered him, excitement dripping off his words.

You panted hard, using this time to try and fill your lungs. Now that it was Barty’s turn to fuck you, you knew you were going to be in for a ride. If that is the level of stamina that Evan had, you didn’t think you were prepared for Barty.

Barty hovered over you, smiling down with amusement and lust. “You gonna be a good girl for me?” he asked with fake intrigue. You don’t know why but this annoyed you. Your face must have shown signs of this annoyance because he leaned down and whispered, “At least be better for me than you were for Evan, yeah? No one likes a brat.”

You rolled your eyes in response.

You felt a sharp sting at your thigh from where Barty smacked you. This one hurt more than the warning swat that Evan gave you, his red hand print already imprinted on your skin. The shock wore off after a moment and what Sirius would like to call ‘brattiness’ set in.

How dare they, they aren’t your boyfriends. They don’t get to dictate your mood or attitude, especially when they’ve been so self serving up until now, no even allowing you to cum yet. Not even making you cum.

You opened your mouth to make your thoughts known, but Barty seemingly had run out of patience with you. He gripped your throat and pushed you back onto the sofa, squeezing this fingers on either side of your neck and sending a fuzzy feeling throughout your entire body. You whimpered and gasped, struggling to breathe with your head hung over the end of the cushions. Evan made great use of this, cock shoving past your parted lips and down your throat with no warning, the same way Barty did.

You would have panicked, not taking a deep enough breath before Evan’s entire length was cutting off your airway, if it weren’t for Remus and Sirius doing basically the same thing when punishing you sometimes. 

Evan set his own pace, thrusting deep into your throat each time. Barty took this opportunity to push into you as well, taking you inch by inch. You heard both Evan and Barty groan out at the feeling of you around them.

Evan pulled out slightly for you to breathe, which you quickly took, thankfully swirling your tongue around his tip and making his hips buck back into your mouth.

Barty was moving agonizingly slow, making sure to fully fill you before pulling almost completely out and starting again. You jerked your hips up, signaling for him to move, to do something. He chuckled.

“Seems like you’ve got a brat on your hands,” He said over to your boyfriends. This was the first time they were verbally acknowledged since starting.

Sirius chuckled, “Trust me, we know.”

Barty halted all actions which made you jerk yet again, becoming frustrated with the lack of movement.

“Is that, why you wanted us to fuck her?” Evan asked, “Wanted someone to finally tame her?”

You rolled your eyes at this, slightly grazing Evan’s cock with your teeth. Not hard, or a lot, just enough to get your message across. He replied with a particularly rough thrust down your throat again, making you choke and gag.

“Oh please,” James chimed in, “She would break you before you even got close to taming her.”

“It's true,” Remus laughed at the thought of Evan and Barty actually trying to ‘tame’ you, something that not even he could really do.

Barty hummed with delight. “Well, what does princess have to say about that?” He asked.

Evan gave you another thrust before pulling out and letting you speak. You coughed as you caught your breath, your throat becoming sore with all the abuse. 

You looked him in the eye, remembering the fact that you still hadn’t cum yet. You thought this was supposed to be a fun experience. You remembered what he had said, bragged to your boyfriends earlier.

“I thought you were supposed to show me what a real good time looks like.” you spat.

Barty blinked at you before smirking.

He didn’t bother answering you, just lifted your hips up off the couch and snapped his hips into yours. You let out a high pitched scream, not expecting this at all.

Finally, you knew how to get what you want, and in most cases, that just means a snide comment or bratty behavior. Works just as well on Evan and Bart as it did on your boyfriends, who knew.

You heard Sirius snicker, the brattiness amusing him.

You had every right to be worried before, Evan’s pace was brutal, Barty’s was ruthless, cruel. He was hitting so deep inside of you that your moans raised in pitch with each thrust.

Evan followed in Barty’s lead, lazily reaching down to where you and Barty connected and rubbed small circles over your clit again. The feeling overwhelming you, back arching even in Barty’s hold on you. 

You thought you would return the favor, taking Evan in your hand and pumping his cock in time with Barty fucking you. His eyes fluttered shut and a line appeared between his brows, muttering a small “Fuck,” under his breath. You didn’t know his body well at all, but you would say he was probably close.

Between Evan’s skilled fingers and Barty hitting your cervix over and over, the painful pleasure was what you were seeking, finally tipping you toward the edge of climax.

Barty’s fingers were sure to be bruised into your hips as he kept his grip and fucked you as if you weighed nothing, just a doll for his pleasure.

Evan swatted you again, this time making contact with your sensitive bud. You threw your head back and cried out as you felt your orgasm wash over you. Barty kept his pace and so did Evan, both intent on letting you ride it out with their help.

But that wasn’t the case at all, even as you came down off of the high of your orgasm, their pace didn't falter. You whined and tried to squirm away from them, but Barty gripped you harder, pulling you back. Evan didn’t halt either, in fact his fingers were working faster than before.

“W-wait, wait please,” you stuttered, trying your best to get them to let up for a moment. You were trying hard to wiggle your way out of their reach, but it was no use, all you could do was take what they were giving you.

The moans that were coming from you were the same as the ones coming from your boyfriends, you knew they were ready to cum from the way they all sounded. You wanted it to be them fucking you stupid right now, but watching them watch you was adding so much to your arousal, these images of them would be burned into your brain for the rest of time and you hoped you were providing the same for them.

“F-fuck, fuck,” you heard James whine, catching the sight of him just in time to see him come undone, white ropes of cum landing in his abs and thighs. 

You moaned at the sight, your Jamesie looking so dirty and breathless, all because of you. And all you really had to do was look pretty.

This pushed you over the edge again, vision going hazy and feeling hot all over, shaking and trying to push Evan’s hand away from you. To your surprise he actually obliged, removing his soaked hand and moving it to grab your throat and squeeze. His other hand went down to his own throbbing cock, jerking himself off above your face.

You made a breathless sound, Barty, finally becoming sloppy in his thrusts, groaned out “Fuck, I’m close.”. Your whole body felt limp and tired, but his final thrusts into you were deep enough to make you see stars.

You cried at the overuse of your cunt, Barty pulling out in time to cum all over your stomach, Evan doing the same, releasing on your chest. Your body a sticky hot mess from Barty and Evan. You panted hard, your body tired from the whole night.

Sirius and Remus made their way into your view, both fisting their own cocks with need, both breathless and on the edge.

Sirius came first, his beautiful moans prefacing his cum landing over both Evan and Barty’s, mixing with the rest of the fluid across your torso. 

This left Remus. You looked up at him, scrambling to your knees and opening your mouth for him. He let out a small chuckle before throwing his head back and releasing a throaty moan.

You licked the underside of his dick as he came in your mouth, the liquid quickly filling up your mouth and dribbling out the sides, down your neck and chest.

“Fuck,” you heard multiple boys say at once.

You swallowed what made it into your mouth and giggled, taking in everyone’s satisfied states. 

Evan and Barty dressed and joked with your boyfriends about how it’s unfair they kept you to themselves all this time. They asked if you were alright about a thousand times, Sirius telling them they would take care of you from here. You all bid your goodnights and Barty and Evan finally left for bed.

You were happy to be all alone with your boyfriends now, James having cleaned you up and gave you one of his shirts to wear. You cuddled into bed with them, feeling more grateful for them than ever. Sure the sex with Barty and Evan was fun, but no one knew you like your boys did, no one could make you feel like they did. No one could measure up to the pleasure you felt, nor the safety afterward.

This late night became the early morning that led you to see the sunrise as you dozed off in your boyfriends arms.