MASTERSAYSSEW

I haven’t been very active here recently, but I wanted to share this doodle I just drew of what the lightening storm looked like last night. Since my stroke two years ago, I have been left with a neurological condition that has greatly impacted my life. I cannot leave the house alone and I am completely blind in low level light and darkness.  Last night, after a very hot day in the seaside town I live in, we had a massive thunder storm. At about 11pm I asked my partner if we could go outside. For the first time in two years, I went out into a thunder storm, felt the rain pummel me and get in my eyes as I gazed in awe towards the magic in the sky. Something else had changed. The lightening looked different. When the flashes happened and I was lucky enough to see the bolts, my right eye saw more vivid colours and my left (my left side is what has been affected and everything from feeling to my eye prescription has changed) had a large, shape shifting back hole appear.  I needed to share this crappy doodle here to express that my life is much worse and every day is, frankly, terrible. However, there are always good things from any change and they’re often hard to find. I’ve discovered one of my good things; when lightening strikes I get to see not only the beauty of it but also a fascinating black hole that only I can see, so I now get to learn what it looks like all over again. To everyone who is struggling with chronic health problems, with long term illness, with circumstance specific difficulties or even just a really, REALLY shitty few days; You WILL find something that breaks the pain and despair. It won’t make everything right, but it’s something unique to you, embrace it. Embrace it, explore it, and then while you’re feeling a little more alive make sure you take your meds, eat something, drink something or whatever you have the strength to do to make tomorrow a little easier.