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haemus-deactivated20150612

astrology says my pussy is tight

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dennys

you: dad, will you fix me an egg?

your dad:

pizzathehutt24-deactivated20190

Optimus Pride

your-ass-is-grass-and-ima-mow-i

swept

fuckthekxng

Same

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bifacts

If you're under "bifacts", shouldn't you only have two facts listed?

…shit.

What people think it means when we say "Language is evolving": This pejorative term isn't bad anymore because it's funny to me and I say so.

What it actually means when we say "Language is evolving": English has developed a specific verb for tricking people into listening to Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up"

intoasylum

autistichalfblood

intoasylum:

the ladies on friends aren’t here for your idiotic gender stereotypes

moseby

help-mywife

Help; my wife wants to play Cotton Eye Joe on repeat while we sleep tonight to see what kind of dreams we have

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nasa-official

if this gets 100,000 notes then i, the worlds greatest space agency will personally shoot donald trump into the sun

nasa-official

200,000 notes to also shoot the republican party leaders who don’t want to fund science into the sun

tanthesuperman

Preferred place for guys to cum?

To his senses

thahalfrican

lukecastellan

romancelesbian

my gf: *does anything*

me:

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Anya is LIVE right now

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downwithneocolonialism

brentraptor

(bake me up) bake me up a pie / (one-third cup) of flour for our pie

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