The High King Eliot

“Oh shaddup.  Ah din’t need two shites tellin’ me.”  Iselmyr grumbled.  Excuse me but that is my body !  Not yours.  “Ally ah’m in ta middle o’ negotiations.  Either come out our shut yer gob.”  She hissed to…seemingly to herself as she looked to him again.   “Now !  ah would really luv…if we can work on gettin’ our bodies back.  All righ’ ?”  She waves her hand and the ball disappears.

Eliot watched the whole thing unfold with more than a little bit of worry on his face. A crazy person was in his body. A crazy person who talked to themselves.

This was worse than he thought. 

“Right... second thing to note while we do that... don’t go talking to yourself in public like that. Nobody knows I’m not me and you’re not you and... I have a reputation to uphold as not insane.”

“It’s yet to be something I’ve figured out,” The Professor replied, “I’ve had people heal the wound, mend it, change it… No matter what they do, I experience the pain. I believe it’s linked to my body and my powers. In your body, I’m fine, but mine…” Charles trailed off, “It’s different.” For someone with telepathic powers, this was incredibly frustrating. 

“And you can try drinking or a pain medication, it helps a little. I’ll get my chair for you.” He said, walking over to the device parked in the corner. It was an incredible feeling to walk with such ease. He attempted to hide his sentiment.

“Just… Don’t strike up any weird conversations. I sort of have a reputation. I’ll do the same for you.”

The magician in the cripple’s body groaned, a bit frustrated with this turn of events. Still, at least he was allowed to ruin the man’s liver, so that had promise. 

“Weird conversations?” He finally piped in, doing his best to look regally offended, “Please, they’re the more interesting ones you’ve had here. Speaking of reputations...” he said, eyeing how Charles walked, “You’d better not slouch and I definitely don’t want you sleeping around as me.” Reputations, and all that.

Charles didn’t understand the Alien reference. He was about 8 years too early for it. He pretended he did, though, and nodded slowly. The look of confusion was still there, but he could only assume being invisible was what would “save” him.

“Any ways?” Charles repeated and let out a sigh. He was actually a very boring man when it came to things like this. Ever since he created his school, he made an effort to not get shit-faced. Still, he wasn’t in his universe… and he had yet to build another school. “I can’t say I really know of anything. You seem to be the expert here.” He replied but then quickly added, “Though if you do want to continue this, you have to promise me you won’t let me leave this bar. Or at least pass out in the streets.”

So true... Eliot thought, knowing he truly was the only on in this place who knew how to truly put on a show or a good party. “Well I can promise the second one, but not the first. This is a bar, not an inn.” He said, a bit dismissively. Most of the time, he left it to whomever came to the party to make their own damn way home, but he supposed he owed Charles for pepping him up a bit. 

“First things first.” The Magician said, filling up the glasses and downing his quickly. 

The dirty meaning was lost on the Hunter. Not a lot of people made dirty jokes where he was from. They were either dead or trying to kill you.

“One?” The Hunter couldn’t hide the condescending smile on his face, “I’m not sure if that’s something to brag about. Was it at least a fight to the death?”

Eliot saw the judgement, disliking the idea that he was being judged at all and especially disliking that anyone could ever find him wanting. His shoulders straightened and his head flipped in a truly kingly austere show of sass that the Magician had long since mastered. He was a high king, for hells sake.

“It was. And it was against another king who had 14 other duels won.” He said, once again leaving out all the ways in which it was resolved--namely not with death.

Eliot shot awake, already knowing that the spell went wrong. He cursed at himself as he lurched upright with surprising dexterity and speed. Looking down, he curiously examined himself. He was... fit. And with just a glance down he was pretty attractive, if not a tad bit dirty and absolutely weighed down and covered with knives and other strange things. Was that a foot in that little mini-vial?

“Who the hell am I?” He wondered, immediately attempting to seek out a mirror as fast as possible. 

“I am Groot.”  (Yea.  It’s like…space heroes.  We protect space from evil alien threats…)  But now he’s here and alone.  

“Space heroes.” Eliot said, nodding and trying to comprehend it. “So Alien life exists for you guys? That’s... interesting.” His mind felt like it was going a million miles a minute with that information. 

“any fun stories?”

*· ☆,.- Jessica sighed and made a face. “Honestly? I am not sure if you would be able to notice it until it is too late. But let’s hope for the best, right?” Not that this was her way to go, usually. Jessica was never hoping for the best. Because if she did, shit would only do down faster as an result.

“Charles? Someone I should know? While being a mutant as well, Jessica was not really making friends with her kind. Maybe bnot the most clever move. But as long as Kilgrave was still around, it was better than possible having said mutants against her in the end. “And I am relaxed.” A roll of her eyes as she downed the rest of the drink. “Seriously. You would easily notice if I am not.”

“Maybe? He says he used to run a school for people with abilities. He also boasts being the strongest psychic on earth... while drunk, so take it how you will.” Eliot said, waving his hand and smiling to himself. “Either way, worth a shot. Meantime... I’ll scrounge up some research and get back to you.” Briefly he thought about the medallion he kept tucked away preventing him from being sought out by a god. Safety measure. Had to be something like that for blocking manipulation. “How do you feel about charms like medallions or bracelets?”

The magician reached over to her empty glass and casually poured some whiskey in, filling it back up with a sly grin, “I’m almost curious.” he teased.

“It’s quite the name I know but it’s a wonderful school.  And I can help with the library stuff…I tended to live in the library a lot so I know every book from every section.”  Even the restricted…okay not the restricted but he’s dreamed of it. 

The wolf watches in awe, staying silent so he can watch him work.  Mentally he mimics what he’s doing…not that it’ll do any good but it’s interesting.  “Yes of course !  Though which one is this potion ? What are the requirements for this one ?”  

“You can? Wonderful... well maybe after this you give me a tour?” He said, casting a warm smile. 

Poured and handed off, Eliot feels a small slump enter his shoulders at the exhaustion of it all. He did his best to look un-phased, but he was feeling it in the back of his mind. “Oh, sorry. This one should help with the furry problem. Most I’ve seen Josh do on this is maybe pee in various corners of his room to mark his territory? It’s... disgusting, but it’s not like a full on wolf-out. Your other potion ingredients I can check in on later.”

Attempting to be casual, Eliot stepped back and began straightening up and re-shelving the books he brought out and erasing the chalk marks. “Where do I need to contact you? You got a phone or an address?”

Aloth was trying to take deep breaths so Iselmyr can stay put.  So far it worked out well.  He wandered, and looked at his new body enough that he can conclude…well it’s something, and he’s handsome.  Quite a rarity really.

Loth turns around to walk when someone strolls to him.  Not someone…him.  He’s strolling to himself !  Oh boy.  He just had control too.  “Ye !  Ye got our body !”  Iselmyr hissed, a purple mist ball forms in her hand.  “Ah wan’ our body back…ya ‘ear ?”  Iselmyr please !  Don’t hurt him

“And you got mine too.” Eliot said, casually as if he wasn’t worried what someone might try to do in his skin. His eyes darted to the smoke as it began to come out, confused as to how they managed that without any fancy finger work. Made him also wonder if he had his own abilities still. “Yeah, and threatening your body does such good things for you.” He snarked, rolling his eyes and popping a hip dramatically.

“Listen, it was an accident. I figured I’d track you down first and work on the reversing second.”

“Talking…bulldog ?  Possibly a hallucination.”  Jeremy said while on his drive to Eliot’s place.  Driving in America’s really weird but he’s actually not that bad.  Starting off he almost hit a building, people, and parked cars but he’s doing better.  

Jeremy glances to his inebriated passenger.  “What are you doing ?”  

Eliot had been yanking at his wardrobe, looking to let a bit more air in. Even while completely trashed he still was fixing his collar to be perfect and put-together. “It’s hot in here.” He nearly whined.

“What are you doing?” he said, in a very lame attempt to deflect the attention back. 

Right when Eliot said that, the liquid got all over his face, making him sputter and cough as he had dipped it way to far.  Once he stops cough and wipes his face with his hand.  “Yea…yea that makes sense.”  The dwarf answered, licking his hand that wiped the liquid from his face.  

It was sorta adorable, in a very messy and gross and childish way. Eliot handed over a few napkins, though, as well as the new drink. “It’s fine. The higher your tolerance the more drinks you can try out.”

“Now you know how I feel in this place.  I mean back home everyone was short and everything was easier.  Here ?  It’s horrible ! Though I have a lot more hiding places.”   Kili says, walking around in his new body.  He loves this body so much.  It’s a bit elvish in the fact it’s so tall, and well kept, and…well pretty much hairless.  If he had elf ears Kili would swear he’s an elf…or would it be Kili is now an elf because he’s in the elf looking man’s body ?  Either way it doesn’t matter.  “At least now you know the view when I have to look up at…well everything. 

Kili watched as his body tried to do something while hands try to feel if he has braids…or if a braid is possible.  “What are you trying to do ?”  Kili asked, sitting with ease on the bar stool.  Mahal he looks like that ?  He never noticed how weird he looked compared to the other dwarves.  No wonder why the dwarrows and dwarrowdams used to call him elf boy.  

the view? Eliot couldn’t help but look to kili and give an assessment, “I mean... I think it’s a pretty good spectacle.” He smirked, casually and ever the narcissist. 

“A spell. And I can’t which means...” He took a deep breath, “You have it. Which is fine! I mean--our body swap will eventually wear off, but... until then...” He took a deep breath, “Try not to get too angry or... excited? You might start exploding objects or pushing people with your mind.” He chuckled, as if it were as normal as telling a teen boy to be wary of what his nethers would do when he hit puberty. 

“What abilities do you have? Aside from muscles...” he said, curiously feeling his arms as he flexed and did a few squats.

“There was a time when I could hear almost everyone in the US’s thoughts,” Maybe it was more than that, but the mutant had taken a great deal of time training himself. Eliot wasn’t wrong, though, it was instinctual. More often than not, he would read minds to help people, but even then it was a slippery slope. He could do great things with his powers, but he could also do terrible things. Being gifted the most powerful telepathic abilities on earth, but also being human was almost a joke in itself. “I’m not fully aware of how your wards work, but if you ever want to test them, let me know. In the mean time, I’ll just continue to block the thoughts out myself.”

At the next question, the Professor looked reluctant to say anything. “One particular drug… Though, I don’t have any on me. It was the same medication that Beast took to-” Eliot probably had no idea what Charles was talking about. “It was a power suppressing drug. Specific to mutants. I’m not sure where you would find any… But, perhaps we should focus on getting our correct bodies back.” He then paused, “This wasn;t something that I did, was it?”

El nodded, letting it go for now. Still, the lingering challenge of finding a ward that worked was a bit tantalizing. He was collecting magical projects faster than he could solve them, that was for sure. “Suit yourself.”

His face must have been easily read as Charles began to almost spiral out into a rant or story, as the professor cut himself off immediately. “hm... Don’t know why that would help the back, but fair enough. Any secondaries?” he asked, before rolling his eyes at the question of the bodies. “No that was me. I told you the tart was an ‘out of body experience?’ in truth it was untested, I just have the recipe. I didn’t really know what it did, but it wears off after a short while.” He chuckled, as if it were just another Saturday occurrence. “Horticulture magic. They all have time limits, don’t worry. And in the meantime you get to prance around in a body that actually works. Lucky you~”

“Potentially,” Charles repeated, letting Eliot’s hand touch his shoulder. After a second, he used his ability to trick the Magician into seeing his hand fall through him and having the sense of touch disappear. 

Charles then reappeared and Eliot’s hand returned to normal, touching his shoulder. “I will admit doing all of that at the same time is tricky. I’d rather just move out of the way.” 

His dark brown eyes fixated on the whole image, his mind seemingly running a mile a minute almost audible to any in the area. Not to mention the fact he was stoned and drunk and sticking his hand through someone.

When Charles came back, El smiled and nodded, “Well yeah, but god forbid Alien comes around, you’ll be set.” he said, cracking a pop culture reference out. 

With a long sigh, he looked down at the smoldering pile of papers and pushed the remaining few into it, once more doing a little flick of his wrist and letting the flames climb higher as he took another long drink from the bottle he had on him and handing it off. “So... don’t suppose you know any way to keep this party going?” he asked, really not wanting to return to the depressing thoughts that started off his night. 

“You did put wards up,” Charles replied, knowing this conversation all too well. People did not like their thoughts being read, and while Charles agreed with it, he often couldn’t help it at times. His powers were incredibly exhausting and sometimes he let things slip. Voices would pour into his head and he would do his best to ignore them, “But as I said earlier, I manually blocked your thoughts. It takes a bit of extra effort and some thoughts are louder than others, but I’ve been doing it for awhile.” Charles liked Eliot and he did his best to give him privacy. He did so with most of the people he knew… Unless they were loose canons and would actually hurt people if he didn’t. It was a game figuring out the correct moral decision. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

He paused for a moment, and then answered the other questions. “And funny enough, these Nazi’s were after World War II. Even after the Korean war. I just happened to run into a group of them outside of the holocaust center.” He and Erik ran into them, but he left that part out. Also the part where Erik took them all out. “What can I say? Some days are easier than others. When I’m experiencing extreme pain, I just stick to the chair. Drugs often help, but they loosen up my control on my powers. It’s a double edged sword.”

Eliot didn’t need to be a mind reader to know that Charles felt a little regretful or bad about that little slip. Rather than be his usual dickish self, the magician decided to spare him most of the teasing and snark he felt he should give on principle rather than hurt feelings. “Well... Good. Otherwise I’ll think up extremely weird shit until you get out.” he said, the smallest hint of a smile gracing his lips. “Psychics who come to Brakebills can’t always control themselves either. It’s instinctual. Why everyone on campus gets a crash course at putting wards up. Helps quiet their minds to give them privacy, and also give it to us.” 

he hummed, “I’ll see about finding some stronger ones.” It could have been snarky, but genuinely Eliot meant it to be a bit of relief. One less mind Charles was invading meant one less series of thoughts he had to manually cancel out or accidentally pick up. 

“Anyway! Drugs, you said? Preferences?” he said, clapping his hands, looking behind himself and wincing at the pain of movement, “Nothing physically addictive, I imagine?”

“We swapped bodies ?”  Kili asks, shocked but looks at his long legs then his long arms and smiles.  “Cool !  I’m finally tall now !”  He laughed, slowly getting up, shakily at first because he’s not used to this height but he looks around in awe.  “Is this what it’s like to feel tall ?”  

Eliot watched his body clamor up and did the same, a bit startled at how thick and muscular his legs suddenly were. His everything was, really. His mind went a bit perverted for a moment, but he settled it in time to hear the next question, his neck craning upward. 

“I mean... I’m--My body’s six foot two, so... Yeah. That’s taller than usual. You’re...” He eyed the room around him, “Shockingly short. I knew you were short but I didn’t quite realize...” He suddenly caught sight of the stool by the bar and thought about how on earth to even get up it. He had to climb! It was absurd. 

“Uhm... beyond height... I want to check something else...” He said, thinking about it and making his way--not nearly as gracefully as he normally walked--over to one of the candles and attempted to move the hard calloused dwarf hands in the right configuration to light it. It was a simple spell, but even after he got it right it still wouldn’t go. 

“Oh no...” he whispered, turning to look at Kili. 

“Get salt, lick the rim and drink.  Got it.”  Kili says and does what he’s told; he licks the rim on one side, got some salt and drank it.  Of course he thought it was like ale and he can chug it so he ended up trying to dip it a little farther then the cup would allow.  

Eliot watched it suddenly slosh back from the lowball glass with a bit of surprise, and a bit of a frown. He was glad it was delicious, but that was also a very good way to get drunk in under an hour. Patiently, he began making another one, while noticing the dribbles of liquid. “You are going to be very sticky in a bit.” he commented, sounding a bit forlorn.

“As much as I love your party spirit... drinking tip two I forgot to tell you, you sip it. Not... chug it. That way you enjoy the flavor.”