— SELFISH WRETCH—

I can’t even summarize what has happened very well without missing things so I’ll just vaguely describe stuff I remember LOL.

My moms surgery went very well!!!!📈but it was more intensive than we thought 📉 she got her spleen removed, the diseased kidney removed, and any and all surrounding diseased tissue removed, diseased tissue scraped from her eleventh rib, and a mysterious hole in her diaphragm we didn’t even know about that was sewn shut 📉but she’s recovering so well and is walking with a cane!!!📈 we don’t know until her scans and blood work in august, but the doctor says he is very confident he got all of the cancer out!📈my mom can’t have salt and she loves salt📉she hates the salt alternative she has📉 did you know they make low sodium salt 📉 but she’s loving salads!📈 and fruit smoothies!📈 her heating pads broke📉 we made new heating pads out of large socks full of rice that can be reheated a for a while and they’re better than the heating pads📈I hurt my back📉 my back is better!📈 I’m on my period now📉 but I’m seeing the new mandalorian movie on Saturday📈 I’m stressed out imagining my father having to care for my mother and the house for the day while I’m gone for hours 📉 thankfully my mom is really mobile so my dad isn’t rushing around as much as he was when she was a week post op📈

I’m going to bed at 9 and waking up at 5 👹 I haven’t slept like this in years 👹 I have a schedule now and if you know me I used to stay up all the time and sometimes not even sleep and it was really bad on my heart 👹📉📉📉

But I get so much sleep now!📈

I’ve developed a concerning urge to bake. I picked it up after Mother’s Day and I think it’s a way to cope with the stress I’m actually feeling.

The first red velvet cake…….from a box…simple….basic….she kept the morale up…

Red velvet cake mix converted into cookies successfully, powdered sugar and cream cheese frosting

The brownies made from scratch that I forgot to take a picture of once they were finished baking

These peanut butter bars that are literal crack cocaine

I unfortunately didn’t get to take a picture of the homemade peanut-butter-chocolate-chip granola bars with chopped walnuts and white chocolate drizzle - but they were lovely while they lasted.

Unfortunately my addict brother moved back in because he was homeless and on the street after years of refusing abundant help and money from my parents📉 I hate him. I want to physically harm him. He’s taking advantage of my parents now that they’re home and vulnerable and stressed and tired and he eats all the food and sleeps in their basement I literally want to beat him within an inch of his life. 📉📉📉 but they told me to leave him alone so I ignore him when I can, they refuse to take him to rehab so they’re trying to keep him clean here instead on top of everything else. He does nothing and contributes nothing he doesn’t even clean up after himself. If I disappear forever it’s because I went downstairs to start beating him and got arrested before I could tell you all. All he’s ever done is take advantage of my parents and especially when my mom was diagnosed. But all is wellllllll. Aaaaaallll is wellll. 📉📈📉📈📉📈📉📈📉

All in due time. If I wake up and my peanut butter bars are gone before my mother can have one….🔫. I even put a note on them 🔫

Here’s a silly bee flying at their front door camera 🐝

I’m tired and stressed but I’m adjusting and enjoy having a schedule

It is June the 4th and the first drawings I’ve done in a month are traditional quick sketches of Conrad and Belly from The Summer I Turned Pretty because my older sister forced me to watch it (hetero 🥀.)

I haven’t touched my tablet to draw in a month because I’m so busy

It’s the 1st of May. I apologize for that. I was dancing around this post in my drafts forever. I have to drop something because I will in fact disappear for some time.

My mother and father, as well as my older brother, are driving out to LA, out of our town, for a scheduled, intensive, high risk yet possibly life saving surgery that my mother must undergo. I hate the words ‘high risk’ right now, it’s not anything my mom, or family wants to hear, but it’s what is happening. I have not spoken about it to anyone online, but my mother was diagnosed with advanced adrenal cancer back in 2024 and has been battling hard through treatment. She had lesions on her lungs as a result of the spread of two masses on her adrenal gland, giving her an awful, painful, cough.

The doctors gave her a six year timeline. I wanted to spend every moment with her as best as I could’ve, which left little moment for me to think, alone, and I didn’t want to. I need to be someone she can lean on, and all I want to do is crumble. So I don’t.

The lesions on her lungs have gone away completely with rigorous treatment and we were optimistic for quite some time, the masses on her adrenal gland shrunk quite a substantial amount.

Time passed and recently, this year, she’d been in a lot of pain, making sitting up difficult, and sleeping was near unbearable for her on top of the constant fatigue and weakness she feels. She’d gotten lab work done and scans showed that the cancer had spread to her rear abdominal wall, and a portion of her eleventh rib, and the masses on her adrenal gland grew, which was all met with even more aggressive treatment, but ultimately plans have been laid out then and there for surgery and removal.

The surgery she needs is intensive and my entire family has been making preparations to take care of the house - and my youngest siblings - while my parents are out of town for the operation. My mother will need to have a portion of her rib, the entire affected kidney, and any affected surrounding tissue, nodes, and glands removed so it doesn’t spread to her lungs or surrounding organs. I can’t take any moment to think about it. I haven’t, which is why I’ve never spoken about it. I have now three teenagers to take care of for a week, alongside my older sister. We’ll be their guardians full time while my parents are away, taking care of the house, the yard work, keeping our 22 year old car clean and maintenanced while my mom is in post op recovery at the hospital in LA, helping them with homework, feeding everyone.

My family is hoping she’ll be back in our care on mothers day. Then, when she comes home, we’ll be taking care of her round the clock. We have to quickly adjust meal plans as she can no longer eat red meat, chicken, or large quantities of salt, or large sources of potassium, or soybean+most seed oils, presumably for the rest of her life, so I will be quite busy working on that, trying to keep her well fed with things that won’t hurt her.

I hope I can one day delete this and act like this is all a bad dream because my mom is fully recovered and doing well and it feels like nothing has changed. I hope that I may return to you as soon as I can with more art, and we can talk about what has changed and what you’ve come to love and fixate on as time passed. I look forward to more of your art when I return.

Thank you for 700 followers, thank you for those who’ve followed on TikTok and have given me 800 there too.

I hope I’ll have time to check in here and there even if it’s for a literal minute just to tap like or reblog on a post before putting my phone in my pocket again. Thank you for reading, I’ll be back.

vic talks to u - general rambles and non art posts a lot of word vomit

masque vic - idk I just tag my art under it like a second signature. generally unorganized tag

masque vic : wips - all of my wips and sketches

masque vic : alcina - all of my art containing alcina dimitrescu from resident evil village

masque vic : dawn - the one art containing my bg3 tav Dawn :^)

masque vic : doll - all of my art containing my OC doll inserted into the resident evil village universe

masque vic : donna - all of my art containing donna from resident evil village

masque vic : grace - all of my art (so far oops) containing grace ashcroft from resident evil requiem

masque vic : kpdh - all of my kpop demon hunters fanart

masque vic : rumi - all of my art containing Rumi from kpop demon hunters

masque vic : request - all of the older doodle requests i’ve taken