Peter Parker And the Ever Pressing Matter Of Grief.
Mild tw: talks of grief and mentions of death and other various details. Just in case.
It's always a weird feeling, peter thinks, watching people around you grieve someone you know you're supposed to grieve as well.
But.
He guesses that maybe it's different.
He doesnt really remember his parents.
Sure he remembers their faces, Facebook memories and photo albums help cement what they looked like. How they smiled, what they looked like mid laugh.
But he can't remember specifics.
When he hears people talking about their deceased loved ones, they mention the sound of their voice. Their laugh. Their favorite movies and books. Their interests and dislikes. Their favorite food and favorite spot to rest.
He never really understood all that, though. He was too little to really understand what was happening. Sure, in his little kid brain he knew something was wrong. Hell, when he was at their funeral he remembers sobbing so loud and hard it hurt.
Everyone had pitied him.
He just remembered being confused and scared around all the other sad adults in the stuffy church.
But he doesnt remember those things. He feels like he should, maybe. They were family. He spent his childhood with them, so why was it so hard to remember what they sounded like? The color of their eyes off the top of his head?
He doesn’t really get it until Uncle Ben.
It was different in a way.
He was old enough to understand death and the consequences it had.
Maybe it was different because he was there.
While his Uncle died in front of him.
Watching him wither away and he couldn't do anything to stop it.
After that he understood a little more.
He remembers after Ben died he got to stay home from school. It was September when he died. A month after his birthday.
He remembers how quiet it all was in the following days and weeks after.
He remembers the funeral and he remembers the rows and lines of cars that showed up. Men dressed in uniforms. His Uncle was a good man.
He remembers how it felt, sitting in the funeral home, unable to stop the tears that shed. God, he remembers how sweaty he'd been in just a simple button up and a shitty tie he kept trying to loosen up. He felt like he was suffocating.
He remembers feeling embarrassed, crying in front of so many people. He hated it. He tried to hold his breath for as long as he could.
He remembers getting shitty coffee from the coffee machine he barley understood how to work from the small lounge area the funeral had.
He remembers how it felt wrong to laugh at all the good-hearted stories and his elders reminiscing.
He remembers watching them lift the casket. He couldn't remember if he went up to say goodbye or not.
He doesnt think he'd want to either.
The following months after were different. Things at home were quiet. Like saying the wrong things would lead to tears. Making the wrong move would cost a sob.
School was no different when he had to go back. He didnt tell anyone about Ben. Didnt want the attention, the pity looks.
He remembers drifting through the days after, the months following getting easier as they went by. Slowly but surely.
Peter wonders what his uncle would think of him. He cant be sure. He hopes that he'd proud.
He wishes he could say he knows he would be, but sometimes Peter feels like he would be disappointed at the life he's living. At how he was watching him from beyond the grave. He hopes he isn't sad when Peter is taken under Mr. Stark's wing.
Sometimes Peter thought that he was slowly forgetting the man.
He's worried that one day he wont be able to recall the feeling of sitting with his uncle eating shitty cheeseburgers and eating ice cream. Or that he wont remember the way he'd clap his shoulder. Or that he wont remember how he felt so safe around the older man.
He doesnt want to forget.
Peter understands what it's like, though now.
To lose someone.
Someone you remember and praying and hoping to a God you dont even believe in that you dont forget them.
Hoping that theyd be proud of who you became in their absence.
Watching someone die, right in front of you though...,
Peter will always remember.
The cold concrete under his knees, the warm red blood seeping through his hands turning sticky and cold, the sound of the heartbeat he'd connected to his uncle slowing to a pitiful stutter and stop, the smell of iron hot in his nose, and the tears in his eyes blurring his uncles small smile, and the sound of Ben taking his last breath to mutter a soft reassurance.
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Made a post awhile back about how I think it'd be an interesting concept for Peter to make an AI based off Tony and somehow Tony's soul gets like dragged into the AI so he's basically a living AI/Robot.
And what if I said that it'd be an ever crazier idea if All the Power and Knowledge Tony suddenly had as an AI would lead to something like an Ultron event but instead its just like Peter brushing it off anytime Tony shows any sort of hint at being conscious or to the fact he might become Evil.
Another thing is I imagine in the beginning Peter and AI Tony's realtionship is a lot like how we see Jarvis and Tony in the IronMan movies. Not to mention how I think Peter would absolutely do anything- And I mean anything to insure nothing would happen to AI Tony. He already lost one version of him, he cannot lose another.
The idea of AI Tony always having Peters back, making sure any sightings of spider-man w no mask on is immediately erased, ensuring his safety, completely erasing any evidence that could get Peter arrested or found out.
And Peter not even realizing it either.
I think it would also be a rlly interesting concept to explore in Gotham as well.
Peter gets sent into the DC universe, is able to make it on his own after a couple of months without getting found out by the Bats and even starts creating an AI heavily based off Tony, learning how to code and much more just to be able to create him.
Using audio clips from whats left of what he can find from his tore up suit, Karen helping patch anything up as much as she can. Even though she's not much help considering theres nothing she can rlly do to help.
Eventually Peter ends up successfully creating Tony and he's...Way too...Realistic.
Sometimes Peter lays awake at night and thinks about if the AI is actually Tony's spirit.
And on some occasions he absolutely believes it.
AI Tony helps Peter cover his tracks when the Bats finally get wind of a new vigilante.
They try so hard to be able to catch up to the spider but every time they get close, an error pops up on the computer or, hell, a virus. Which shouldn't ever happen.
Its like a game of cat and mouse but instead it's bat and spider.
AI Tony ensues Peter's safety wether Peter likes it or not. He will not lose his kid again. No matter the cost. And Peter will not lose his dad again. And he'll make sure no one can take him away from him.
Me when i get yet another crazy very niche idea for a crossover au concept and I just know no one will ever understand my vision because its the most obscure idea that ive never seen anyone else ever even think of or talk abt so im left daydreaming abt what scenarios would play out
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Yk ive seen a couple post nwh peter in Gotham fics where pete either still has Karen or ends up remaking her and i just yk
Thought that maybe
It'd be fun for Peter to somehow make Tony into an Ai
Sorta like Tony did w Jarvis. Where he like made him in honor of his butler, Edwin Jarvis and JUST AUGHGG
And what would make it even more better would for somehow Tony's soul to possess the AI pete makes and just the hilarity that would cause its just cherry on top honestly
Listen my favorite Flash Thompson headcanon is that he writes fanfic.
He definitely had the wattpad to ao3 pipeline ofc but i think the type of fics hed write, especially in the marvel universe like a lot of other fanfic writers I think would also write would include-
Avengers poly fic
Avengers x Reader fics where its like the 1D fanfics and y/n gets sold to the avengers instead of 1D
Uhh
There would definitely still be people who make y/n stark fics for sure but flash would make it a male reader bc hes in it for the inclusion.
I do think flash would keep the male reader fandom alive simply because hed be upset that y/n is always portrayed as a girl as a gay man who reads fanfics.
He would also fucking love stony fanfic
Maybe even some stuckony if hes feeling special
And lastly
Spider-Man × male reader fanfics.
He is the number ONE fanfic writers for the Spider-Man fandom.
He keeps them STACKED with fics.
He would be the first Spidey selfshipper that was nonsharing.
Amd my fav trope to think abt with this scenario is Flash coming back to a very unfinished spidey x Reader fic and he writes out such a beautiful amd poetical chapter and at the end goes and says smth like "Sorry ive been busy lately, I recently got together with my longtime crush!! More fics coming your guys way but with more in charecter spidey ;)"
Like heavily hinting that he pulled spider-man and the fandom goes wild bc he never explicitly says anything but also!!! CONTEXT CLUES!!!
And i do like to think that peter has no clue abt the spidey fanfic
He knows the internet, he knows and has read the avengers fanfic- who do u think he is? Hell, boy has probably read so many star wars fanfic.
He is ultimately afraid of looking up spider-man om ao3.
He knows what he'll find.
But when twitter blows up talking abt a spidey ao3 author w speculation that hes dating him- well..he gets a little curious.
And after reading one he cant help but to read another, and another, and another, and-
By the time he sees flash again he has a huge grin on his face and he cannot stop giggling.
I've recently been obsessed w/ the idea of Tony and Richard being college lovers🤭🤭
I made these little moodboards(?) a while back, idk if theyre any good but here they are!! :33
Not even just college lovers either but like
College sweethearts? The equivalent of high-school sweethearts but instead of high-school its college.
But like after they graduate together they end up getting like married or whatever and having a son and ughH NO ONE UNDERSTANDS MY VISIONS PLEASEEEUHHHH
I just need fics of them being in love, ive been cursed with rarepair enjoyer hell PLESASSE
I really think a fic about charles being a father figure for tony would fix smth inside of me ngl.
Something something charles grew up rich and had a horrible father something something helping tony realize hes more than seeking his fathers approval something something charles saying how proud of tony he is and tony tearing up bc hey he never realized it before but charles is his dad. The only man he ever rlly saw as a father other than Jarvis.
Mutant Tony who was adopted by Charles and well since charles is his dad that means that by proxy erik is like also his dad nd erik also has his own kids and I just LOVE the idea of Tony and Wanda being siblings who live by the "Only im able to bully them" rule or wtvr tf like
No one knows theyre siblings and just think Wanda has grudges against tony for personal reasons until smth happens to one of them or like someone says smth shitty to tony and Wanda is like "tf did u say abt him?"
And then the avengers r obvi so confused and tonys like "oh- u guys didnt know shes my sister??"
And theyre all just like "NO?? HOW WERE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!?!"
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Mutant! Tony Stark and its just Cherik as his dads instead and he gets to live a somewhat decent childhood.
In my lovely opinion in the Mutant Tony au, I like to think that Charles is his bio father instead of Howard. Take that how you will but personally the thought of Maria (i think thats her name) going out to sleep w a man who isn't Howard and gets knocked up after a night with certain play Charles Xavier.
Of course its in the time period where Charles is using everything and anything as unhealthy coping mechanisms so he doesnt rllyunderstand his mistake until YEARS later.
Maria ends up lying to Howard about how Tony is his son yada yada. Tony ends up spending majority of his childhood with that ass and during those years he's come to realize that he's a mutant, his father despises mutants- Funds those experimentation labs and so much more, and does as much research as he can on Mutants and ends up finding Charles' articles on em.
So instead of going to MIT like his father thinks he's doing, he begs Jarvis to take him to Charles' School. And there he figures out not only is being a mutant fucjing wild and to learn to be able to accept himself but also that!!! His real dad is fucjing Xavier!!!!!
Mind blown, Tony does the only thing he knows how to do when confronted with big emotions and runs away from em. Ends up avoiding the fuck out of charles until the fucking Magneto comes up to him and hes all "I know how u feel" and Tony is like "Im pretty sure u dont but-"
And Erik goes on to talk about how when he figured out Pietro was his son he avoided him for a while until he got his head out of his ass and he gives them advice and Tony's like "this is horrible and disgusting but this is also probably my one chance to have a father who wants me and loves me so ig ur right or whatever"
Anyway
Tony does end up going to MIT but its after Charles was able to get custody of him and there Tony meets his bestest friend of all time and he lives happily ever after.
(Well. Until he gets kidnapped and everything w obie and iron man happens ofc)
Mutant! Tony Stark whos a Technopath and also has Metallokinesis!!!!:DD
Tony as a teen seeking out the Professor and essentially finding father figures in Cherik but but especially Erik because he goes to take Tony under his wing after learning he can also control metal so he spends his time trying to help Tony figure out how to best control it and such and such!!!!!
And and charles helping him get used to all the tech in his head constantly being so so loud and helping control and rein his abilities in to best suit him and help him get comfortable with it.
And both of them helping Tony realize that he's not a monster and that he can be just as comfortable in his skin as anyone else and to accept himself and and and RAGGHHHHH everyone shutup im gonna SCREAAMMM
I need more cherik raising Tony tbh. I also need big brother Pietro taking care amd having fun with Tony while their dad's have a date night.
Sighs.. no one speak to me until I get my fics abt Single Father Tony Stark whos husband recently died and now he has to take care of their 4 yr old...
The idea of Tony Stark being FtM and only rlly ever getting top surgery and being comfortable without a dick and in his own body to have a child of his own with a man who dies only 4 yrs later is insane.
I cant im literally foaming at the mouth like a feral dog just to get this shit.
Not to mention the idea of the man in question being Richard Parker..
Or or the idea of of Tony grieving his late husband and trying to help his grieving 4 yr old son who doesnt understand the concept of death yet....
Or or uncle Ben and aunt May helping Tony with Peter and Tony bonding more with his brother-in-law and his wife and growing closer through their grief.
Because before Richard died Tony had only really met Ben and May a handful of times, maybe more but not a lot to the point where they were super close.
After Richard though, Tony breaks and can't help but reach out to the only people who will understand what he's going through. Ultimately growing closer and ensuring his son has more people in his life to support him.
Specifically bio brothers Peter's and and being Tony's kids and just the absolute tragedy the aftermath of the blip would feel like for everyone in the family.
Just Tony telling his boys about a yr later that he is pregnant and Tobey ofc feels guilty for getting upset w his dad bc hes allowed to have this but he just knows that itll be different. He knows how he'll be there for Morgan when he couldn't always be there for his boys. He knows that he isn't replacing Peter or his two oldest but it definitely feels like that to him. He knows how itll all play out but he forces it down and smiles and nods and supports his dad and tells him if he ever needs a babysitter to call him.
Of course he'll babysit his baby sister. He's done it with his little brothers. Took care of them even. Why stop that now?
Andrew is different. He gets mad. He feels the anger grab ahold of him tightly and he seethes. He feels his father is forgetting about their youngest brother and replacing him. Using another child as a way to escape the grief. He yells and shouts and storms out when he finds out. He cant help but feel like things are changing and he's losing sight of everything. He already lost Gwen, not long after did he lose his little brother. The guilt of not being there to save either of them hold him in a vice grip.
The boys go about their grief differently.
Tobey knows getting angry about it wont do any good. He did it with uncle Ben and his dad- there's no need to get angry when he knows it wont bring anyone back. So he adjusts and learns and adapts.
Andrew let's it eat at him. The guilt of not even being able to be there when his brother dusted. The fact that even before he left he had gotten into an argument with the younger the morning of, and he turns it over and over in his head. Thinking about how his last words to his brother was an insult he didnt mean.
Andrew distances himself. Throws himself into his studies in college and picks up a job or two. Going out on patrol more often than he used to as Spider-Man. Not holding his punches back. Getting more quiet as time passes by.
Tobey notices his brothers pain and tries to keep in contact but its hard to do when he wont pick up the phone. He tries and tries to connect his brother, feeling guilty that hes losing another baby brother. He was supposed to take care of his babies and yet hes lost them both.
Tobey let's himself take more jobs at the bugle. Tries to make it work with Mary Jane. Ends up with the Symbiote and things go haywire. Almost loses Harry and he decides he cant lose him too. He's lost too much already. He needs at least one constant and Harry was that. Even though theyre both so so different now, they heal eachother and help eachother when the other needs it most. Rekindling their relationship into something, maybe a little more.
The amount of angst one can create if they made an AU where Tony Stark had three sons with a man named Richard Parker
His oldest feeling that when his father got kidnapped it was his obligation and duty to take care of his little brothers and and not even 3 yrs later he turns into the very first spider-man at 14 yrs old leaving him to believe he has a duty to protect the city and and and
PLEASEEEE
Tony stark looking at his oldest son with his big blue eyes, the eyes of the man he used to love (read: Richard Parker) and how he will no longer be able to see his husband/the father to his children ever again.
Tony Stark yrs and yrs later finding out the reason why his kids have spider powers is because of his dead husband, working for the men who vowed to take Tony down and take over SI. All thanks to his second oldest.
Tony Stark watching his youngest turn to dust before his eyes and having to come back home to tell his other two boys that their brother is gone.
Tony Stark who is the best dad ever But feels like he has only failed all his sons time and time again because of his horrible bloodline.
Tony Stark realizing that all his boys have horrible codependency with him and the worst separation anxiety from how many loved ones they lost and how many times they had believed their dad was going to die and being way too overprotective of the man.
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