it's a little cringey, but so are most fun things

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

Where's that tweet about how American chants are "let's go [team name] and some other country (Irish?) fans are "I've made up a song about the other team's drinking problem to the tune of London Bridge Is Falling Down one two three"?

help I’m having ideas beyond my available free time

help I'm having ideas beyond my available energy levels

i think one of my favourite things about watching sports (beyond the sport itself) is the magical thinking, the way every spectator feels responsible for the success of the team. the people who are physically there need to sing and scream as loud as possible but then everyone at home has their little rituals. who's to say if the goal we scored was because the players know how to play or because i refused to go to the bathroom, this friend of a friend in rio sat down to watch the game for the first time in his life, these dudes in lanús lit a candle, my cat walked into the room, this woman in caballito did an intention ritual to cure the evil eye, my coworkers in núñez switched seats, a friend froze their goalie. i mean clearly the first option but i think it's (1) hilarious that this kind of magical thinking seems to be largely unavoidable (2) a lot of fun. we're all doing our part ❤️

That’s why you should never accept the excuse “Well it was a different time.” They knew it was wrong. They always knew.

i genuinely don't think there's much, if anything, hotter than someone clearly having a blast doing something they're really good at. doesn't really matter what it is. the combo of competence and joy is absolutely lethal to me

Charlie Bucket was a final girl

YOURE A SPARK IN THE DARK AND MY CLOTHES ALL CAUGHT AFLAME ‼️‼️ YOU SHOULD FEEL, HOW I FEEL, WHEN SOMEBODY SAYS YOUR NAME ‼️‼️IM A CAR SPEEDING DOWN THE BOULEVARD WITHOUT A BRAKE ‼️‼️ AND I WANT YOU, MORE THAN ANY STUPID SONG COULD EVER SAY ‼️‼️IM A HEART, MADE OF WAX, AND IM MELTING IN THE SUN ‼️‼️ IM A THREAD ON YOUR SHIRT THAT IS COMING UNDONE ‼️‼️ I FEEL RIGHT, I FEEL WRONG, I FEEL TOTALLY INSANE ‼️‼️ AND I WANT YOU MORE THAN ANY STUPID SONG COULD EVER SAY 🫠🔫