MARXM03

fish… whales…… sharks……..

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved

The loudest guy in the fucking world: hey man

There's more after 'hey man' but you're deaf now

Come on now. He would prioritize the ring. I would prioritize my child.

Me, who has only seen sea otters and river otters: what the hell kind of a thing is that??

Let's climb rocks and bother Mama

I just saw a beta chud suckjack fuck chudster larper cross the street and get ripped to shreds by animals of all species

He lived for one nanosecond

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry