Marvelsmarbles

FRIENDS - Story

–

She was tired.

Her head hung low between her legs, coiled in her own emotions she had accustomed too, and kept locked away.

She was very tired.

The tears on the brim of exposer, only added on to her misery.

She was alone.

Isolation; it was the thing she feared most, but wanted desperately.

It wasn’t her fault that she grew up alone, in a single floored house fit for only her and her parents. It wasn’t her fault that she barely had a piece of transmission with her family…she was shy and quiet – they thought she was different.

There would be days where she would skip into the cornfield just in front of her home, feeling the surface of the leaves make contact with her skin, and sensing the small pebbles that scraped against her shoes. What she loved most, was lying down in the middle of the field, shaded by the arms of the plants, and hypnotized by the white linty clouds above her head.

There’s nothing better than this. She would always say.

She loved to draw; it simply fascinated her how someone could create such beauty with only a canvas and paintbrush. She admired the precision of the brush as it was dipped into the paint and danced across the canvas.

As a child, she would take from her mothers closet – her paints – and isolated herself in the shadows of the crops, painting what she saw – beauty. She would draw until the sun kissed the lake, (it was just a fence past Mr. Thomas’ house and a path to the left.) It would amaze her how the paints would stain her fingertips; the mixture of colours reminded her of the rainbow she drew once. Her mother – already infuriated with her for invading her closet – would always refuse to let her enter the house until her fingers were “so clean I can see my reflection”.

But she wasn’t a little girl anymore; all was just a faint memory. She lost her innocence at a young age,

Painting is for little girls.

 Drawing can’t be a job? You’ll never survive on that pay

Her innocence tattered once she realized society craved power and money. She hated the manipulation of this generation, it was the reason why so many children dispose of their dreams and do what society tells them to do.

Fuck society.

She lifted her head from between her legs,

Help me.

She rested her head on the wall,

Why? You wanted this. Her mind reminded her, she scoffed.

No one would want this.

 She shut her eyes,

You did.

 Her mind was her constant battle, it said it told her the truth…she was delusional, tired and sick in the mind, which only frustrated her more…she couldn’t trust herself, she was unhealthy.

You need a friend.

She pressed her fingers hard against her temples, easing the migraine that consumed her thoughts.

 I have a friend.

A smile curved on her lips as she thought about Elliot. She met him while almost missing the bus home; he moved his knapsack from the seat beside him and let her sit. She remembered him focused on the ridges on the floor,

—

“You know,” he started,

 “The world’s a shitty place”

 During the entire bus ride, it was the only thing he said…and she couldn’t agree more.

 “It’s like we’re the same person,” she answered quietly.

 The bus ride continued, she watched as the crowd became smaller. Her mind wandered as she stared down at her tarnished shoes.

 She noticed that he kept tugging on his hoodie, and held his head low.

 “Why do you wear that hoodie?” She asked, biting her lip nervously. He shrugged, lifting his head slightly,

 “It’s my favourite hoodie…I wear it everywhere I go”

 She nodded, knowing he wouldn’t be able to see her with his hood in the way.

 “What’s your name?” He asked, finally turning to her,

 She hesitated on answering; she was shy, and thought back to what her mother said to her about talking to strangers.

 “…Y/N” The reply sounded uncertain, as if lying. He looked at her and gave her a small smile,

 “Is that your real name?” His attempt at sarcasm resulted in him sounding as uncertain as she did.

 “Yes” She chucked, it became a habit to look down while she laughed, she hated her smile, she hated her laugh…and she thought by looking down others wouldn’t be able to think the same.

 “Elliot.” He said, extending his hand out of his sweater. Shaking his hand, she couldn’t help but let another smile leave her lips, while thinking of her having the unimaginable… a friend.

 —

Elliot’s not your friend.  

 The pounding in her head ceased to vanish, it only travelled deeper into her head.

 Yes he is stop lying.

Her bottom lip was held between her teeth as she fought the urge to scream, she removed her fingers from her temples and brought her head back between her knees again,

Just when you thought things were getting better…

 The blood pulsed in her ears, it was never going to get better, she would always feel like this…alone, isolated and dejected.

A faint knock was heard from her door,

“Hi” Elliot said, seeing his head pop in from the gap of the door.

 “Is this a bad time?” Elliot asked, shuffling into her apartment,

“I mean, I can come back in an hour no pro-“

“Its fine,” she said promptly,

“Stay.”

Elliot nodded timidly; he made his way to her kitchen and stuffed his head into the fridge,

“Do you ever eat?” He asked,

“Other than ramen noodles and sour patch kids?”

“No” she replied, peeling herself from the wall,

“You should eat,” He said, pulling out a sandwich from his hoodie,

“I made it for you” He placed the wrapped sandwich on her table.

“Thanks.”

Silence overtook the room, as she picked at her fingers.

“What’s wrong?” He asked carefully. He never liked to intrude into her personal life; he only asked when matters were drastic.

“I’m fine,” she answered, keeping her gaze low.

“I didn’t ask if you were fine, I asked what was wrong”

She stayed silent.

He’s not your friend.

 She picked at her fingers harder,

He’s not your friend.

 You don’t have friends.

“Nothing” She finally answered, meeting his gaze.

Elliot nodded, before motioning to her T.V.

“Binge watch a show?”

She gave him a weak smile and kindly obliged.

Elliot scrolled through the selection of shows, her eyes wandered and eventually focused on nothing.

You’re zoning out. Her mind teased.

Elliot wrapped his arm around her shoulder once he picked a show to watch,

“You’ll like this” He said, pressing play.

Her T.V flashed the show Friends, it was her childhood show, but she didn’t want to upset Elliot since he was so thrilled to show her it.

Her head rested on Elliot’s chest, something they always did when watching practically anything. Elliot involuntarily played with the ends of her hair, and she loved it.

“Like it so far?” He asked, she couldn’t help but feel his breath on her skin, and listen to his quickening heartbeat.

“Yeah” She said, becoming completely tensionless once she heard him chuckle. Elliot was like her, isolated from the world and hid in his own emotions…it was why they got along. Hearing him chuckle was like seeing a blue moon…rare, but exquisite.

She lifted her chin so she could face Elliot. His eyes trailed from the screen to her eyes. His eyes wandered nervously,

“Y/N?” He whispered, scanning her eyes. The moment seemed endless with anticipation. 

Without a moment more, his lips were linked with hers. The settling feeling in her stomach made her heart pound, she felt wanted.

Elliot pulled away, giving her a shy smile; 

“I like you a lot, Y/N” He said, 

“It’s kinda scary”

She gave him a smile, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she felt her cheeks turn crimson. 

Her attention was then fixated on the bickering of her vexatious mind,

He’s not your friend.

Shut up. She retaliated.

He’s not your friend, Y/N. You know it.

Aggravated, she turned away from Elliot and pressed hard against her temples.  

Shut up.

“Elliot-“ She turned back to where Elliot sat, but the space was empty.

“Elliot?” She called, leaving her current spot and scouted for him.

“Elliot!”

A firm pair of hands grabbled her torso and pulled her back,

“Relax” Elliot said, keeping her in his embrace. She felt warm tears stain her cheeks, as the emotions flooded her body. All the years of silencing her anguish trembled her body, she had no control. She turned so her face hid in his chest. Elliot’s hold became tighter, it was his way of showing comfort…it was his only way. 

“What’s wrong with me?” She dug her face deeper into his chest. Elliot pulled her from his hold in order to meet her eyes. 

“Nothing’s wrong with you okay?”

“You’re the only person I consider normal… you see the world the way I see it, a different way” 

Silence flooded the room, and Elliot pulled her into his embrace again, 

“Will you stay the night?” Her request came out as an almost inaudible whisper. Elliot stayed quiet for a moment. He then cautiously kissed the top of her head, letting out a comfortable sigh.

“Okay.”