One thing I love about Irondad is that Tony -despite his past with Howard- is not cold with Peter, and is not ashamed to admit how much he cares for the kid (in his way, ofc).
People always judge Tony's character is Homecoming because "Hah!! Stark doesn't care about him! He ignored for two months!! He's the worst!"
Can I Start saying that that man right here wasn't in the right mood to mentor a kid right after civil war? He saw his parents die, he saw his friend almost killing him in rage and then had to deal with the breakup of the Avengers and the whole Rhodey's situation. He probably thought it would be better for both to not be in contact, because while Tony wants to heal, he also want Peter to not be like him.
Think about it: After civil war, Tony was a disaster and all of this because he was an Avenger. Of course the man wouldn't want Peter to be like him, not when Tony's life went down hill since the first day as Iron Man. He doesn't want that life for a fifteen years old kid, so he leaves Peter with Happy and everyone is safe.
Not because he doesn't want the kid around, but because he thinks it's the best for the kid to not be around a billionaire with severe anxiety and a little bit narcissistic.
Tony never showed any discomfort around Peter, since their first scene together. He has always been interested in the kid, and was the one one who understood Peter, as Peter said him self in the infinity War novelization.
(I won't start saying how everyone blames Tony for "manipulating" Peter and bringing him into a war. Just know that is incorrect, and Tony would never bring a kid in a war, because that wasn't meant to be a fight. Tony brought Peter so that -his words, not mine- he could web them up if they tried to escape. He never thought about ending up with a broken arm and with Rhodey who can't walk anymore)
Anyway, returning to the subject, I think we can all agree on one thing: Peter is not aware of how Tony actually cares about him. But not because Tony is an asshole and hates him, but because of one reason:
1. Peter in homecoming only wanted to prove himself. He desperately wanted Tony to see the potential in him, so during all the movie he he acted so that Tony could be proud of him, but at the same time when Tony complimented him he didn't even showed gratitude. He was blinded by wanting to show the man what he was worth for that he didn't notice Tony was always proud until the very end.
I don't think the main problem is in fact Tony because as we see, and Peter can't, he actually already invested in Peter's life.
He listens to the voicemails, remembers them and always kept an eye on him, even during his journey to India (TO RECOVER HIM SELF FROM CIVIL WAR Y'ALL).
And can I say something more? Tony isn't afraid to think Peter as his son. Often, in the Fanfics, we always see Tony panics because him and Peter became closer and he's scared how he could be like Howard to the kid. The second part is right, but he would never panic about thinking Peter as his son. Actually, he doesn't mind and already thinks the kid as his responsibility.
It's actually funny and cute how he says "My father never really gave me a lot of support and I'm just trying to break the cycle of shame" because all I see is a man who was neglected and abused by his father, and hated the idea of having a child because of this (remember that scene in IM3 where he flinches at the only thought of having one) until he met Peter. He decided to be better because of him, he wanted to change because of him.
When he says "I sound like my father" my heart broke because no, YOU DON'T YOU SILLY.
These two phrases demonstrate how he's not afraid to tell the kid he sees himself like a father for him. Ofc he's scared because he doesn't want to end up as his own father, but he is ready to be a good role for Peter when he will finally be healed from civil war.
He's not cold, he's not distant towards Peter and even though he's afraid of ruining the kid and his childhood, he already loves him.
Homecoming was a new start for both of them and I believe that in the two years between Infinity war and Homecoming they were not afraid to tell each other how much they cared (again, on their way because even I think it's pretty weird imagining tony saying "I love you you're my son" to Peter or Peter saying "Yes you're my dad adopt me" because that's so out of character).
Every interaction they had in infinity war screamed that. You can clearly see how much the kid is now comfortable with the man, is not shy around him, and is not scared to talk to him; you can also see how Tony has become more protective of Peter. Literally everything he says or does screams "don't touch this kid or I will kill everyone in this room and then my self" (I mean, that's what he did in endgame, no?)
at last, I want to appreciate this scene because it's not appreciated enough:
Strange is literally assuming Tony is Peter's guardian, and the way Tony crosses his arm, assuming this defensive pose to protect him self when he said "I'm confused as to the relationship here" because he wants to know what Strange has to say about them, ready to answer and to kick his ass out of the flying donut if he says something bad about Peter or about their relationship. Or the fact he always has something to answer to Strange, but this time he stays silent and doesn't even try to explain who is Peter when he asks he is his ward because that's his kid and so many other things he doesn't know how to explain.
Also, Peter saying an awkward and quick no while staring at Tony will never not be cute for me. It's like this already happened before and someone already pointed out how they look father and son together, and Peter is not even that embarrassed. He's just confused why everyone keeps thinking they are father and son (but not unhappy)
