She/Her |20| Just a bi, really random girl Marvel fan | love to interact with people!!!! â Asks/Dm's opened â Cis/het men DNI- âĄeveryone else is welcomedâĄ
â Welcome to my chaotic, really random, little corner of the internet â
â I love talking and meeting new people, so feel free to send asks or dms so we can chat and have a little fun â
â Please do not flirt or send me sexual asks/dms. Even if it is in a platonic or playful way, i want to set and keep the boundaries clear that i do not feel comfortable with such and won't be interacting â
â Compliments or cute asks like "hope you have a good day" or "i like your blog/it's cute" are totally welcomed and appreciated â
â I won't be sharing any personal pictures, besides maybe occasional outfits or so â
â Keep in mind that I am taken and in a long-term, commited relationship- so every interaction is solely platonic and innocent â
â But PLEASE SEND ASKS, even if you rather it be anon. I absolutely love talking with people and it makes me happyy- (please keep it appropriate) â
â If you want to be added to the anon list, just send your age, pronouns and an emogi i can identify you with â
â You can call me: Nena. sweetheart, sweetie, honey or darling- (unless you are someone that i trust, like a moot, whom i have established smth with before) â
â You can find my posts under #nena yapping, reblogs- #nena reblogs, and bit of both under #nena thoughts â
â DNI list- Men. Racists. homophobes transphobes, pedophiles, zionists, Pro-ICE etc. Pretty basic DNI's. Just don't be weird or a creep. Be a good person and we good â
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Have you ever had a dream that you, um, you had, your, you- you could, youâll do, you- you wants, you, you could do so, you- youâll do, you could- you, you want, you want them to do you so much you could do anything?
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I don't know if I can ask but if you don't want to answer you can just delete this message but do you know what happened to @windowofchaosx?
He deleted his acc at certain point and then created a new one, that one got put down and now he has a new one. If you want to know what it is you can dm me or he'll just reply to this post xx
loving praise is crazy. you need someone to tell you âyouâre doing a good jobâ, and âyouâre such a good girlâ, and âIâm proud of youâ? crazy.
on another note, I would like one of those gold star stickers placed on my forehead for every little thing I do.
could you write a oneshot about avenger reader, who always wears those tactical suits that covers up their neck, and then the one time they take it off (its damaged/dirty/bloody/they thought they were alone/etc) the avengers find out reader has a massive scar on their neck, revealing that someone slit their throat (in the past, the scar is healed)?
tragic backstory ensues. I'll let you choose what it is. Teehee.
fluff+angst, g/n reader, nobody dies au, happy ending? thanks a million! >â<
Gentle Touch
Warning: mention of past abuse, mention of past sexual assault, kind of cheating (Maria is fine with it), kissing, drinking, angst with a happy ending
Relationships: Maria x Natasha x reader
Word Count: 3.8K
The drink from the bartender stayed untouched as you played with the condensation rolling down the glass. Honestly, you werenât sure why you were still here. There was a tiredness that seeped deep into your bones. After returning from a 3-day solo mission, all you wanted to do was climb under the blankets in your bed. But there was a party, and you had to make sure you showed your face. In another 10 minutes, you would excuse yourself. âWell, there you are,â the usually sultry tone of Natasha would make you smile. It could pull you out of any funk, but not tonight. âI thought you were ignoring us.â
Us. Her and Maria. The couple had been together since their early SHIELD days, and for some reason, they wanted you to join. You kept them at armâs length away. Sure, you flirted with them, thrived under the attention, but you never gave them more. âI could never ignore you, Red.â Without a thought, your hand went to her hip and brought her close. You loved the way she willingly came to you and the goosebumps that appeared on her skin.
âMission went well?â Maria questioned.
âYes, Deputy Director,â you smirked. âMy report is already on your desk.â The brunette smiled.
âNow this is why youâre my favorite.â
âReally?â You questioned. âIt wasnât my good looks and charming personality.â Maria rolled her eyes.
âTimely reports just do it for me.â You chuckled and shook your head.
âYou seem tired, Detka,â Natasha said. Her right hand left her drink on the bar and traced the bags underneath your eyes. Her fingers were cold from the ice, and that sent a shiver down your spine.
âMission was long,â you mumbled. âMight call it early.â
âAre you okay?â Maria asked. Her hand rested on your upper back. This was how it always was. The three of you are touching in some way or another. Natashaâs feet were thrown over you while her head was in Mariaâs lap. During meetings, youâd play with the ring on Mariaâs hand, tracing each line and scar. It was normal. But tonight it felt wrong. The second Natashaâs fingers touched your face, and Mariaâs hand on your back, it felt like it burned. The turtle neck you wore and the closeness of their bodies made you feel claustrophobic.
Natasha was right. You were avoiding them because they were the ones to see through your fake smiles and jokes. âIâm okay,â you said as you stood up from the bar stool, and they stepped back. âDonât make too many bad choices tonight.â
It was easy to sneak out of the party and venture to your room. Once the door was closed, you shed the turtle neck, and it felt easier to breathe. Sighing, you went to the bathroom and turned on the lights. You kept your eyes down as you brushed your teeth and cleaned your face. Then you had to do the worst part of your routine. You made quick work of it, opening the medicated lotion on your fingers and rubbing it on the scar on your neck.
This wasnât a small scar, something that was easy to cover up. It ran from one side of your throat to the other. The doctor who saved your life told you the scar would never fully go away. It would serve as a constant reminder of what happened to you.
Once you were satisfied, you washed your hands and crawled into your bed. The scar was always covered, whether it be a turtle neck, a ribbon, or a bandana. No one could see it because no one knew who you were before the Avengers.
âSomething was off with her.â Natasha pulled back the covers to climb into bed next to Maria. âI didnât get one compliment on my skirt, and I wore it for her.â Maria raised an eyebrow at her.
âI thought you wore it for me.â
âI wore it for both of you.â Maria chuckled and went back to reading the file in her hands. âIs that her mission report?â Natasha asked, then rolled onto her side. Maria hummed. âWell, what does it say?â The brunette sighed.
âEasy in and out. They got the intel and came back.â Maria closed the file and tossed it onto the nightstand.
âThen they omitted something,â the redhead said. Maria brought her into her arms. âRia, they werenât themselves tonight.â
âI know,â Maria kissed the top of her head. âBut we canât do anything until they come to us, and when they do, weâll be ready.â
Gods, you were exhausted. Nightmares plagued your mind and kept you up. You were a zombie when you woke up. You stared at the bowl of cereal that rested on the counter. âHey, sweetheart,â Natasha walked behind you with a gentle touch to your back. The sleepless night was getting to you, and you flinched from her touch. âHow did you sleep?â
âFine,â you answered. âKept waking up.â Natasha poured the coffee into a mug.
âYou know you can always come to us if you are having trouble sleeping.â
âYou and Maria are gonna tire me out,â you heard Natasha scuff. In a quick motion, Natasha spun you around. Her hands are on either side of you to cage you in. âDamn, Red, I didnât think this look would do it for you.â You were standing in a hoodie that was 2 sizes too big for you (you were 90% sure it belonged to Thor) and sleep shorts. Like always, a piece of fabric wrapped around your neck like a scarf.
âSomething is wrong,â she said. âI know there is.â You frowned.
âNothing is wrong,â you said simply. âTasha,â you spoke softly, hand coming up to cup her cheek. It seemed second nature for her to lean into it. âIâm fine. Iâd tell you if I wasnât.â
She snapped out of her haze when you removed your hand. âYou omitted something from your report.â She accused you.
âHow did you-â you stopped yourself, lips snapped shut. âDonât do this, Natasha.â Her name felt so foreign on your lips that it sounded like you spoke a different language. She was always Tasha, Red, or Nat. Never Natasha. Her face crumbled slightly. It was a small change that no one would notice besides you, Maria, and maybe her sister. She acted as if you slapped her. You ducked underneath her arm.
âWhy did you leave something out of the report?â She questioned.
âBecause it didnât affect the mission or was relevant to it.â Or because you desperately wanted to forget the feeling of their hands on you. It reminded you so much of that night.
âHelen reported no injuries.â She continued.
âI wasnât injured.â You snapped. No, you werenât injured. You came damn near close, but you werenât hurt. The men who grabbed you were a different story. Sighing, you pinched the bridge of your nose. âIâm fine.â Even the lie wasnât convincing because it was Natasha who was tearing down the walls you were desperately trying to keep up. The redhead had seen you after nightmares and brutal missions that had left you drained. She and Maria had been there for you like youâve been there for them.
âIâm not gonna let this go.â And you knew she wouldnât.
This time you wore shorts and tight-fitted long sleeves. Instead of the loose fabric around your neck, you traded it for a neck gaiter. The black fabric was pulled up to below your nose. You had this cover-up in a million different colors, wearing it with your tactical suit and during training. The scarves, bandana, and ribbons were a part of you; no one on the team questioned it anymore. Sure, they asked when you first joined the team, and you gave them the same answer you gave everyone - âI just like having it covered.â Yelena said you looked badass.
Over the sound of your fist hitting the sandbags, you heard her footsteps. Maria. You figured you had a good hour before she came to find you after your couple argument with Natasha. She leaned against the wall, hair in a neat bun, and her usual uniform on. She must have had a few meetings this morning. âLike what you see, Director?â You questioned as you caught the sandbag and pulled the gaiter below your mouth.
âYou know I do.â You chuckled, pulled the boxing gloves off your hand, and picked up your water bottle.
âAre you here to write me up?â You questioned.
âWithholding information on a mission report is grounds for immediate removal,â you watched as she closed the distance between you and her. Your eyes stayed locked on hers. âItâs important we know everything that occurs during the mission, regardless of whether you feel like it was necessary.â
âOkay,â you simply said, choosing not to elaborate more. Maria sighed your name and went to grab your forearm. Her fingers barely touched you before you flinched away. The brunetteâs eyes narrowed her. Her eyes cataloged your movements. Youâve seen this look during meetings as she tried to figure out the missing piece.
âYou flinched,â she stated. âYou flinched last night and this morning with Natasha.â So she noticed it but chose not to say anything to you. âWho hurt you, baby?â
âRia,â you whimpered. âPlease just let it this go.â
âOkay,â she gave in. âYou can come to me with anything. I hope you know that.â
âI do,â you nodded. âJust - just not with this. Iâm not ready for that.â You turned on your heels and left the gym, ignoring the heartbroken expression on Mariaâs face.
You had no idea how you found yourself here - sandwiched between Yelena and Wanda at some bar in New York City that the blonde Russian swore by. It was a decent place. Management allowed you to enter through the back and to the right of the VIP area. You were pretty sure Kate was the one to declare a girlâs night out, and she gave you her best puppy dog eyes that seemed impossible to say no to.
The alcohol from the two shots Yelena forced into your hand and the Long Island you were nursing was making you feel warm and a little loose. It was a dangerous combination, especially with Natasha wearing the black dress and Maria the white button-up. You were only human.
The couple came back with another round of shots that you skipped on. âAre you tapping out early?â Yelena yelled in your ear. You winced at the noise.
âPacing myself.â You replied.
âAre you worried youâll end up in bed with my sister and Hill?â You slapped the blonde underneath the table.
âYou are disgusting.â
âSheâs not wrong, though,â you turned your attention to the witch. âYouâve been avoiding them since you got back from Nigeria.â That solo mission was two weeks ago. Youâve done everything to avoid them. Frankly, it was killing you. You missed them so much, and it was your dumb fault. You looked at the other end of the table. Natasha was talking with Carol. Maria had her arm around the redheadâs shoulder, but she was looking at you. She gave you a smile, and you returned it.
Sighing, you fixed the scarf around your neck. âYou should just get out of your head and kiss them.â Yelena flicked the center of your forehead. âSimple.â
âSimple,â you repeated, rubbing the spot she flicked. âHowâs that advice working for you with Kate? Youâre just going to start making out with her.â Even in the low light of the bar, you saw the blush appear on her cheeks. Wanda laughed, trying to hide it behind a drink.
âShut it, Maximoff,â the blonde snapped. âMaybe we are both idiots.â You tilted your head back as you laughed. That was the most accurate statement youâve heard in weeks.
âLet me out, Wands,â you said to the witch after you downed half your drink. âI gotta pee.â You squeezed out of the table and maneuvered around the sea of bodies to the bathroom. You locked the door behind you, quickly peed, and went to the sink to wash your hands. When you looked into the mirror, Natasha was standing behind you. âI locked that,â you said. She hummed. âYour girlfriend knows youâre following other people into the bathroom.â
âFigured it was the only place I could talk to you without you running away.â
âI havenât been running,â you said, drying your hands with the paper towel and throwing it in the trash. You grabbed the door handle as Natasha grabbed your wrist. You stared into her green eyes.
âIâve missed you,â she whispered, barely long enough over the bass of the music on the other side. âWeâve missed you.â And gods, youâve missed them too. You crumpled at how sad she looked.
âFuck it,â you mumbled. Before she could question it, you pushed her against the door and kissed her. Her body went tense. Then her brain caught up, she relaxed into you, and her arms wrapped around your shoulders. The number of times youâve thought about kissing the Black Widow was unhealthy. You moved your hands down her sides, squeezed her ass through the dress, and picked her up by her thighs.
Her legs wrapped tightly around your waist as you moved her to the sink to set her down. You moved your lips to her cheek and down her neck. Natashaâs head hit the mirror, giving you more space to work. âWe will need to talk,â Natasha said, moaning slightly as you bite down on her neck and soothed it over with her tongue.
âTalk later,â you mumbled against her skin. âLet me have this, baby, please.â You whispered against her lips. âI promise weâll talk.â Before she could respond, you brought your lips back to hers. You wasted no time deepening the kiss, and you groaned as you felt her tongue meet yours. Natasha was addicted - her natural taste mixed with the alcohol she had. And maybe if you concentrated hard enough, you could taste Maria lingering on her lips. Shit. You were so down bad for these two. The world could end, and you couldnât care as long as you had them.
Then you were pulled out of a feeling of bliss when you felt the usual tight fabric around your neck come loose and fall between you two. You jumped back, immediately rubbing at your neck that was fully exposed, and panic raced through your body. Natasha narrowed her eyes at the scar on your neck. âHow old is that?â She went to touch the skin, but you recoiled away. The redhead whispered your name, but you were already leaving the bathroom.
There was no stopping you. You ignored the call of your name and grabbed your jacket from the back of the booth. âWhoa,â Yelena said. âWhere is the -â the blonde stopped herself. âThat is a wicked scar.â Again, your hand went to your bare skin. All of their eyes were on you. You had to get the fuck out of here.
You left the bar through the back and disappeared into the night.
âWhere did they go?â Natasha appeared suddenly. Maria looked at her girlfriend, who was a little disheveled, holding the fabric you always wore. Maria wasnât stupid. In fact, she was quick to put the pieces together. Natasha followed you to the bathroom. It was taking longer than she expected, but Maria trusted you and Natasha. So she stared at her girlfriend, who no doubt was returning from a steamy make-out session that resulted in your scarf falling and revealing a rather gruesome scar.
Strange enough, Maria was jealous. Not because you and Natasha kissed. No, she couldnât give a fuck about that. She was jealous because Natasha got to kiss you first, or she couldnât watch. âThey just took off,â Kate said.
âI donât know why,â Yelena mumbled. âThat scar is so cool.â A scar you clearly did not find cool because you always had it covered. Natasha sighed, placing her hands behind her head.
âWeâll find her,â Maria said as she stood up. âI promise.â
Despite the rain, you continued walking. Your jacket was zipped up and pulled to your chin. You had no destination in mind but continued to walk the streets of New York City. You were so stupid. It seemed the universe liked to play a cruel joke on you. Whenever you thought you were close to being happy, the rug got pulled out from underneath you. âYou are going to get sick.â You heard Mariaâs voice from the car that pulled up next to you.
âI hope I do.â You said. You heard Mariaâs laugh over the rain; it almost made you smile.
âGet in the car, sweetheart. We are all worried about you.â You kept walking.
âI kissed your girlfriend,â you deflected for some reason. âSheâs a good kisser.â
âTrust me, I know,â you could hear the smirk in her voice. âGet in the car.â You stopped and leaned against the car to look into the passenger window.
âWould you still want me when you learn how much of a monster I truly am?â You questioned. Maria looked you over, eyes on your neck, which was covered by your jacket.
âYes,â she answered. âNow get your ass in the car.â You huffed but got into the passenger seat. Maria reached in the back and threw you a towel.
âThanks,â you mumbled and dried off your hair. Maria pulled onto the street and headed back to the tower with a hand on your thigh like it was the most natural thing.
Maria had something to do with it because you were able to walk into the tower and to your room without being surrounded. Maria walked you to your door, kissed your cheek, and told you to take your time. You promised Natasha that you would talk to her.
You smiled, went to your shower, and stayed under the water until it went cold. Then you got out, dried quickly, changed into baggy clothes, and wrapped a scarf around your neck. Everyone knew, but it felt second nature. Sighing, you grabbed the lotion and walked over to Natasha and Mariaâs room. You only knocked once before the door swung open. âHey, Red,â you whispered. She offered you her hand, and you took it. You stepped into their room and closed the door behind you. Maria was changed and sitting in their bed.
âCome sit,â Natasha led you to their bed. You sat down and crossed your legs. âAre you okay?â The redhead asked. You sighed.
âIâm tired,â you admitted. âIâve carried this for so long?â Maria asked.
â16,â you answered. Slowly, you unwrapped the scarf. It felt weird having it exposed and under the gaze of the two people you cared for so deeply. You untwisted the cap of the lotion and took some on two of your fingers. âI know itâs ugly and hard to look at. I-â
âStop.â âEnough.â They said at the same time.
âStop putting words in our mouths,â Natasha added. You opened and closed your mouth to come up with something, but decided against it. You rubbed the lotion on your scar while they watched intensely.
âI was working with a group called The Liberty,â the slight hitch in Natashaâs breath told you she knew who they were. âI was a gun for hire. I wasnât proud of the work, but it provided money, food, and a roof over my head.â You tried to justify some of the kills all the time. They were dirty politicians or drug lords. âI refused to kill one of my targets. She was just 6 years old.â
You would never forget her name: Alana Peterson, the daughter of Tina Peterson, who was married to David. David was the CEO of Zeus Enterprises. Tina had an affair with a competitor, which resulted in an unplanned pregnancy. For 6 years, David raised Alana as if she were his flesh and blood. Like always, the truth came to light, and as Tinaâs punishment, Alana was going to be killed. You were hired to do it.
âThis was my punishment. They left me to die on the concert floor. I could feel the blood pooling around me.â You were surprised when Natasha placed her hand on your arm. You were shaking. âI blacked out and woke up in a bed.â
âWhy do you hide it?â Maria questioned.
âI donât want pity when people see it,â you whispered. âAnd,â you sighed. Well, youâve come this far. âItâs a constant reminder of when I was at my most vulnerable. The doctor who saved my life, the payment terms were not conventional.â He was 30 years your senior. You spent the next 4 years recovering under him more than living. Once youâve gotten your strength back, you killed him to escape him. Fury found you when you were 25, so you had 5 years tracking down the group and killing them for leaving you to die. It took one comment from random people of disgust or strange fascination that made you cover your neck. People looked at you like a freak. A science experiment that they were trying to understand.
Carefully, Natasha grabbed the lotion you placed next to Maria. âDo you trust us?â You hesitated.
The simple answer was yes. Time and time again, they saved your life. You had no reason not to trust them, aside from fear. âYes,â your voice shook as you tried to act confidently. Natasha smiled and opened the lotion. Your eyes followed her hands as they traveled closer to your neck.
Your back was taunt, and you tried to keep yourself from flinching. Her touch was soft and warm. You never allowed another person to touch your scar. The sensation was different but not unwelcome. Soon, you felt the tension leave your shoulders. It felt nice to have someone else hold the weight.
Natasha passed the lotion to Maria. You gave the agent a smile as she put lotion on her fingers and touched your skin. It was overkill, but the feeling was too nice to push them away. âYouâre safe with us,â Maria whispered. âYou will always be safe with us.â A shaky breath left your lips, and your throat burned as you kept back your tears.
âYeah?â You questioned. Sometimes it was hard to believe even when they said it. Natasha put her hand on your shoulder and pulled you closer to her. You felt your body slump against her, and her lips brushed against the side of your head.
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G!P Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader
Your friends with benefits situation with Natasha and Wanda becomes quite complicated
[A/N] This was a request off a sweet anon but it was quite long so I've posted separately then as always will post their request later. Hope you all enjoy this one! â¤ď¸
Natasha rolls off you, and you curl up on your side, hoping sheâll stay a bit longer. That sheâll run her fingers through your hair, kiss your forehead, tell you it was good, that she likes you⌠She doesnât do any of that. Without a word Natasha climbs out of bed, grabbing her robe and pulling it around her. You want to ask about her fight with Wanda, not that Nat had even told you sheâd fought with Wanda but you knew she had. Natasha only ever came alone if sheâd fought with Wanda, and vice versa. They seem to have been fighting more and more these days.
âAre you leaving?â You eventually ask, your voice hoarse, and almost desperate.
âYeah, early start tomorrow. Promised Wanda Iâd take her out for breakfast.â
Your stomach twists painfully. Breakfast with the two of them sounds perfect, and you wish theyâd invite you to do things like that with them sometimes. They never did though; all they seemed to want was sex. After theyâd asked if you wanted a friends with benefits situation, youâd agreed, having been attracted to both of them from the get go. It seemed that both of them had forgotten about the friendâs aspect of the relationship though, only focusing on their âbenefitâ.
As usual the sex had been rough, with Natasha practically using you as an outlet for her frustrations towards Wanda. The first time it had happened, youâd thought it was hot. Natasha was pretty hot at the best of times, but when she took control like that, it was even hotter. Youâd assumed it was a one off, but you soon realised Natasha and Wanda would always turn up at your room separately if they were in a mood with each other. After a while it wasnât hot anymore, it was⌠Almost scary.
When they werenât in a mood, sometimes theyâd invite you round to their room. The sex was amazing â slow, loving, it almost felt like they worshipped you. Afterwards theyâd cuddle you in between them, pressing kisses to your skin, and whispering loving words. In moments like that you almost let yourself believe that you were truly part of their relationship. Not just friends with benefits, but an equal, their proper girlfriend. By morning though the two of them would get ready for the day together, talking about plans that you werenât part of. Youâd sneak out of the room, already forgotten about.
Once Natasha leaves, you climb slowly out of bed, wincing a little. Your thighs are now littered with bruises, and you shuffle awkwardly to the bathroom to inspect the damage. This isnât too unusual these days â Wanda and Natasha have gotten so rough these past couple of months. Every time you try and slow it down, itâs like they get lost in their own worlds. You sit on the edge of the bath and bury your face in your hands as you begin to cry. This routine is usual too â Natasha or Wanda leaves you, you cry in the bathroom alone and then you return to bed where you cry some more before falling asleep.
Why canât they stay for just ten minutes? To cuddle you, to reassure you⌠No doubt Natasha will return to her own bedroom where her and Wanda will make up, then spend the night cuddling each other whilst you curl up into a ball, holding onto your pillow as you try to soothe yourself.
What hurt the most was before theyâd asked you to enter this arrangement; the three of you had been good friends. Youâd been poached from SHIELD into the Avengers, and youâd recognised Natasha from her own SHIELD days. Already she was dating Wanda, and the two of them seemed to be together all the time. Not that you minded, you quickly formed a friendship with Wanda too. You both liked reading, and the two of you had gotten into the habit of cooking for the Avengers on a Thursday night. The three of you would spend most Sundayâs together, lazing in the yard or going out for coffee in the city.
So when theyâd proposed the friends with benefits situation, youâd agreed. It could only bring you closer, surely, and it wasnât exactly a secret that you were attracted to them. Everything that had made you friends seemed to have dropped off though, leaving you in this weird void where you no longer had your best friends. Everything about your relationship with Wanda and Natasha now felt so hollow, so empty. This wasnât what you wanted. It wasnât what youâd signed up for.
You climb back into bed, pulling one of your pillows into your arms and burying your face into it as you continue to cry. Something needs to change. You canât go on like this night after night. Itâll be okay though â Natasha and Wanda will understand. Theyâre your friends after all.
âWhat?â Wanda exclaims.
âI just⌠I donât think we should do the whole⌠Friends with benefits thing anymore.â
Youâd gotten up early the next morning, hoping to speak to Natasha and Wanda first thing, forgetting that Natasha had said her and Wanda were going out for breakfast. Theyâd been gone the whole morning then had strolled back into the compound around lunchtime, hand in hand, their argument from last night apparently forgotten. Youâd asked if you could have a word with them both, and theyâd seemed reluctant, apparently not wanting to leave the little bubble the two of them had entered. They got like that lately, so focused on each other that it was like the rest of the world didnât even exist.
âWhy not?â Natasha demands, folding her arms.
âI just⌠I donât want to anymore.â
âNo, you canât just drop this on us out of nowhere. You owe us an explanation.â
âI- I donât think that I do-â
âDid we do something wrong?â Wanda asks. âIs that why you donât wanna do it anymore?â
âIt was just supposed to be fun,â Natasha says. âIf somethingâs wrong then you can just tell us rather than pulling the plug out of the blue.â
âMaybe Iâd just like to be your friend again. When was the last time we did anything as friends?â
âWe do loads of things,â Natasha says, rolling her eyes.
âLike what? Name literally one thing weâve done in the past week.â
âI was in your room just last night-â
âYeah but not as my friend. You just wanted sex and honestly, I donât⌠The sex isnât fun for me anymore. Honestly, Iâm starting to feel a little⌠Used.â
Natasha and Wanda exchange a glance, neither of them saying anything for a long moment. Just as youâre about to break the silence, Natasha gets there first, âYou seemed to be enjoying it last night to me.â
âI mean⌠Yeah, okay, it⌠Itâs not that the sex is bad, I didnât say that-â
âNo, youâre just saying that weâre taking advantage of you,â Natasha says.
âNo! No I didnât-â
âBecause you consented too Y/N, you never told us to stop or give any indication that you werenât-â
âIâm not saying it was like that! I just mean thatâŚâ You rub the back of your neck, feeling like this conversation is spiralling out of control. âYou could reassure me though. Hold me, let me know that itâs about more than the sex-â
âWe do!â Wanda says defensively. âYou always sleep in our bed afterwards-â
âYeah, when weâre all together. But you only come to me alone when youâre in a mood with the other one and then you-â
âWhat are you saying?â Natasha asks, her voice clipped and irritated.
âIâm saying that if weâre going to continue, I need you to stay behind and reassure me a little, rather than leaving me to just-â
âWe do take care of you though-â
âNot when youâre alone with me! Why arenât you listening?â You hear your own voice rising with irritation. âIâm just saying that you only come seek me out individually if youâre mad at the other and that results in you not treating me the way that Iâd like.â
âAnd youâd rather just pull the plug than actually have a conversation about this?â Natasha asks.
âIâm trying to have one now and neither of you are actually listening to what Iâm saying-â
âI donât like what youâre implying,â Wanda says, folding her arms. âYou never said anything about this before.â
âYeah, weâre not mind readers,â Natasha snaps. âWe said from the start this was about communication-â
âOkay and Iâm trying to communicate right now but neither of you wants to hear it!â
âYeah because you just came in here, accusing us of like⌠Taking advantage of you!â Wanda snaps. âI donât know why youâre acting like this.â
âIt wasnât like you were thinking about who you had sex with before all of this!â Natasha says.
You pause for a moment, scoffing slightly, âSo what, youâre saying that Iâm a slut?â
âYou kind of were and you know it.â
There had been a while when youâd first joined the Avengers, that you were making the most of the fact you were single. Youâd come from a far quieter town, and had loved the amount of LGBT clubs that youâd found in New York City. Perhaps you had had a lot of sex during that time. Did it really matter? Natasha and Wanda had even encouraged you, coming along with you and pointing out pretty girls in the club. You canât believe theyâre throwing that back in your face, especially after that night when youâd had one too many drinks.
âNo oneâs ever gonna love me,â Youâd sobbed, your head over the toilet in some random club as you were terrified you were being to be sick.
âDonât be silly, donât say that,â Natasha had said.
âYeah, everyone loves you,â Wanda said, helping to brush your hair out of your face.
âNo, they love having sex with me. Thatâs all Iâm good for.â
âDonât say that,â Natasha repeated. âDonât say that, youâre an amazing girl, anyone would be lucky to have you.â
Youâd sniffled, wiping at the tears on your face. âIâm just a slut-â
âDonât call yourself that,â Wanda had said firmly. âYouâre not. Itâs a dumb, misogynistic word. You like having sex. Big fucking deal.â
âYeah, youâre not a slut, honeyâŚâ Natasha said, rubbing her hand in slow circles over your back. âYouâre not, we promise.â
Theyâd been lying, apparently.
âDonât talk to me again,â You hiss. âIâm done. With both of you.â
Even as youâre walking away, youâre hoping that Natasha and Wanda will chase after you. They donât. Neither of them moves, though Natasha does reach out to take Wandaâs hand. Tears spring to your eyes as you rush back to your room, your worst fears confirmed. Youâre not their friend anymore â you havenât been for a long time. If theyâd just listened to you, had reassured you⌠They only care about each other though. Youâd suspected that was the case but having it confirmed hurts more than you couldâve ever imagined. All theyâd wanted was sex. And now theyâd got it⌠What use did they have for you?
The next few weeks are difficult. Although you turn up to training and do whatâs required of you, you avoid being left alone with Wanda and Natasha. In fact, you try to ignore them altogether. Steve pairs you with Natasha for training, and you beg Yelena to swap so you can spar with Kate instead. You eat meals in your room, or just go out, avoiding the kitchen altogether. Yelena asks if you want to join her and Kate for a night out, but when you discover sheâs also invited her sister and Wanda, you decline, no matter how much Kate tries to persuade you.
Eventually Wanda takes matters into her own hands and comes to your bedroom â when you ignore her knocks, she uses her powers to unlock your door. You look up from your bed, âHey!â
âWell why didnât you answer?â
âBecause I donât really feel like talking after- I donât have to answer! Thatâs why you knock-â You close your mouth, not sure who youâre more annoyed with, Wanda or yourself.
âLook, I know things got out of hand,â Wanda says. âNatasha didnât mean what she said.â
âReally? Felt like she meant it at the time.â
âYou know what Natashaâs like-â
âShe hasnât apologised.â
âWell, no, but thatâs Natasha. We both talked about it and weâve realised that maybe we werenât being entirely fair.â Wanda sits down on the bed next to you. âI guess I never realised Natasha was going to you when she was angry. I knew I was⌠I shouldâve thought about your feelings afterwards though. It was selfish of us.â
âIt made me feel cheap,â You mumble. âSometimes you guys would leave bruises and Iâd just lie there, hurting and feeling lonelyâŚâ
âOh Y/NâŚâ
Wanda wraps her arms around you, leaning against your headboard and pulling you into her lap. You want to resist, to climb off, still feeling hurt by what they called you but you find your head tucking beneath her chin as you settle into her arms. Wanda kisses the top of your head, running her fingers up and down your arm. It feels so good â Natasha and Wanda seem to have a way of making you weak in the knees. Youâre just as addicted to their attention as you are to their touch. Avoiding them had been easier than facing them because you knew one look would have you running back to their arms.
âCome to our room,â Wanda mumbles. âLet me and Natasha make it up to you.â
And thatâs how you find yourself tangled up in their bed sheets, your naked body nestled in between them both as you all fall asleep. At first Natasha had been a little standoffish, still not apologising for what sheâd called you, but when sheâd started rubbing her hand up and down your back, pressing kisses to your face, youâd known that was her way of apologising. At first the touches had been innocent enough, gentle and loving, but eventually theyâd become hotter and heavier. Soon you were all naked, and you were gasping as they both reined attention down on you. It was slow, sweet and loving, and all about you.
When you were done, gasping and panting, theyâd both given you lots of kisses, their touch still affectionate and loving. Neither of them had asked you to sleep in their bedroom, clearly there had just been an assumption that you would. Youâd felt awkward at first, feeling like you couldnât move a muscle, but now youâve relaxed, finding yourself drifting off.
Natasha is stirred awake by your restless squirming. One of her eyes opens as she hears you whimper, her assumption that you were just getting comfortable now squashed. Just as sheâs about to shake your shoulder you whine loudly, waking up Wanda in the process. âY/N,â Natasha mumbles, her voice thick with sleep.
Wanda props herself onto one elbow, her eyes widening as you begin to scream in terror, thrashing around in your sleep. Natasha grabs your arms and Wanda strokes your hair, âHey, hey Sweetheart, wake up. Youâre safe, itâs okay. Itâs okay, youâre here with us.â
Your eyes finally blink open, wide and terrified. Natasha sits up, pulling you into her lap and rocking you gently, âShh⌠Shh, weâre right here⌠Weâve got youâŚâ
âWhat happened, baby?â Wanda asks, stroking her fingers over your cheek, wiping at a stray tear. âYou had a bad dream?â
âIâm so sorry,â You sniffle, âI didnât mean to wake you up-â
âHey, itâs okay,â Natasha says. âYou know how many times weâve woken each other up with nightmares? I think itâs part of the job description to be honest.â
âDo you have them often?â Wanda asks.
You donât answer, not wanting to confess that you have nightmares most nights. Youâre sure Natashaâs right, that the two of them have bad dreams just as often as you but youâre still embarrassed. Itâs different for them, theyâre dating â youâre just⌠Youâre not even sure what you are. You love them both but you donât know how they feel, not really.
âDo you wanna talk about it?â Wanda asks.
You shake your head, not wanting to relive the memories that plague you every night. Natasha nods, pressing a kiss to your forehead, âYou donât have to, we can just sit here for a while if you want.â
âI donât wanna keep you up, I know youâre probably both tired-â
âNot too tired to make sure youâre okay,â Wanda says. âWe were both bad friends before. Weâre not going to let you feel like that again.â
The word âfriendâ hurts you, but you donât point that out. Just lean further into Natashaâs embrace, letting her comfort you. Youâre exhausted but your nightmare is still fresh in your mind, so you do want to stay up with them for a little while. Their patient words and touch feels so good â it makes you feel wanted. Thatâs all youâve wanted from them, you realise. To feel like they actually want you around.
Natasha begins speaking in a low, quiet voice, telling you about the first time sheâd woken up Wanda with a nightmare. How embarrassed sheâd felt, how kind Wanda had been. All the while, Wandaâs fingers stroke over your skin, sometimes your cheek, sometimes your arm, sometimes your hands. You want to stay up with them for the rest of the night but Natashaâs soft voice combined with Wandaâs loving touch soothes you back into sleep.
Over the next week you spend every night sleeping in Natasha and Wandaâs bed, most nights without even having sex beforehand. None of you even acknowledges it, itâs almost as if thereâs no question of where youâll be sleeping. Somehow by default, youâve ended up earning a spot in their bed â not that you mind. Itâs preferable to sleeping all alone in your big bed, and you find that you sleep better when youâre in between them both. Theyâre always there to soothe you if you have a nightmare.
Theyâre also there the night that youâre sick. It had come on so suddenly. One minute youâd been asleep and then the next youâd had to scramble out of bed, only just making it to Natasha and Wandaâs en suite. Natasha had been out of bed like a shot, keeping your hair out of your face, whilst Wanda had stumbled in after her to rub your back. âOh dearâŚâ Wanda mumbles sympathetically. âWas it something that you ate?â
âI donât know,â You reply quietly, taking your toothbrush out of Natashaâs hand to wash the horrible taste out of your mouth. âMaybe that burrito I had at lunch?â
Natasha had suggested the three of you get lunch and youâd all gone out for Mexican food. The burrito had tasted just fine, delicious in fact, but itâs the only thing you can think that may have caused it. Natasha leads you back to bed, tucking you back in between her and Wanda, pressing a reassuring kiss to your cheek. âJust take it easy. Let us know if you need anything.â
The following day you feel back to normal, and you assume it was just something a little dodgy that you ate. Training goes absolutely fine, you have dinner with Natasha and Wanda, then crawl into their bed. Only to wake up again in the middle of the night to be sick. After that you donât feel so great in the days anymore, feeling constantly tired and nauseous.
Natasha and Wanda keep you in their bed, both of them taking it in turns to skip training and take care of you. It makes you feel like youâre truly part of their relationship now, and itâs almost worth being unwell. Wanda dabs your forehead with a damp cloth, watching old movies with you, whilst Natasha rubs her hand over your aching stomach, even rubbing your shoulders when you complain they hurt from lying in bed so much. After a week of feeling so awful, Wanda suggests that you go to the medbay, âThey can do a full check-up and make sure youâre not sickening for something worse. I can come with you if you want.â
You shake your head, âNo, no, youâve missed enough training for me. Iâll go, maybe they can give me some antibiotics and then Iâll come back to bed.â
âAre you sure?â
âYeah, Iâll be fine. Donât worry about me.â
Wanda kisses your cheek and then reluctantly leaves you to it. You climb out of bed with a groan, pulling yourself into some presentable clothes. Youâll be surprised if Natasha and Wanda ever want to touch you again; youâve slobbed around in comfies for the past week while youâve felt so lousy. Your hair needs a good wash but you decide to just go to the medbay, and get it out of the way. The sooner they can give you some antibiotics, the sooner you can get back to normal.
Dr Cho is on duty today, and none of the other Avengers are around so she has time to give you a complete medical, asking about your symptoms and doing all sorts of tests. You sit patiently throughout all of this, even though all you want to do is crawl back to bed and go back to sleep. Helen gives you a look, and you feel your heart race in your chest, âWhat? Is everything okay? Is it something serious?â
âY/N⌠Are you on birth control?â
Your eye-brows furrow, âI- No, I was on the pill for a bit. Sometimes I use a condom I guess-â
Helen nods, looking down at her notes, then looking back up at you, âIâm gonna need you to take a test for me.â
You snort, âWhat? Why? Thereâs literally no way-â
Helen doesnât say anything further, just holds out the stick for you to take. You hesitate before sighing, figuring that the sooner you take the test the sooner you can prove that youâre definitely not pregnant. You disappear into the medbayâs bathroom, reappearing a few moments later and holding the stick out for Helen, âIâll be really surprised if Iâm pregnant.â
âWeâll wait to see what it says.â
You pull yourself back onto the medbay cot and try to make small talk with Helen whilst you wait for the pregnancy test to work its magic. After a few minutes Helen picks up the test and then looks at you, âY/N, the test is positive. Youâre pregnant.â
You feel your stomach flip over and youâre surprised that you donât throw up. Pregnant? How on Earth could you be pregnant? You put your hand over your stomach, trying to form words but theyâre all stuck in your mouth.
Helen hesitates, âIt doesnât say how far along you are but Iâd guess about one month. Iâd recommend making an appointment at an antenatal clinic, theyâll assign you a midwife, itâs not really my expertise-â
âPregnant?â You repeat quietly.
Helen nods, her voice quiet, âYes Y/N, thatâs whatâs causing your sickness and making you feel so sluggish. Youâre pregnant.â
One month? That would be⌠The night youâd had sex with Natasha, sheâd bruised you then left you alone- That mustâve been the night. âWhat if I donât want it?â You blurt.
âThe antenatal clinic will be able to help you with that, talk you through your options,â Helen says calmly. âBest to make an appointment with them as soon as possible. In the meantime try eating bland foods to help with the morning sickness. Some women find ginger tea helps too.â
You nod numbly, heading back to your own bedroom rather than Natasha and Wandaâs whilst you try to wrap your head around all of this. After youâve changed out of your clothes, you get back into something comfortable and crawl into bed, pulling the pillow over your head.
Pregnant. Youâre pregnant.
Fuck.
What would make sense is to tell Natasha and Wanda. Especially Natasha, given itâs her child; youâre in doubt of that. Things have been so good with them both though, that you donât want to ruin that. Which is why you make a secret appointment with the closest antenatal clinic and go there alone. Youâre assigned to a lovely midwife who confirms that you are indeed pregnant, and then is tactful enough to ask if itâs good news. When you shrug your shoulders she talks you through your options but before sheâs gotten to the end you already know you wonât be getting rid of it.
Youâre not sure why â itâs not like youâd ever had a longing to be a mother. Even when you were a teenager you hadnât been keen on babies, wrinkling your nose whenever youâd been asked if you âwanted to hold the babyâ, then groaning internally when it had been placed in your lap despite you protesting that you didnât want to. There was no reason to think that you could be a good Mom, especially considering you hadnât even told the other parent this baby even existed. Still though⌠You were keeping the baby.
Today youâre finally going to tell Natasha and Wanda. Theyâve invited you out for lunch again and itâs been about three months since your morning sickness. Youâre starting to show so youâve been wearing baggy clothes and avoiding any intense training. Despite the fact youâre still sleeping in their bed every night, they donât seem to have noticed. Your morning sickness had halted after a month or so, and youâd managed to fob Natasha and Wanda off with excuses. Neither of them seemed to suspect a thing.
Youâd hoped theyâd pick somewhere quiet for lunch but you all end up in a mall food court because Wanda fancies noodles whilst Natasha wants a salad. You look around at all the options, feeling a sudden intense craving for fried chicken. Youâre so hungry that at first you just focus on eating, letting their conversation wash over you. Youâll tell them once youâve eaten-
All three of you glance over at the table next to you as a Dad struggles to tame his three kids whilst their Mom queues for food. The baby is screaming loudly whilst the older two run around, shrieking and generally causing havoc. Natasha scoffs, âSee, this is why I donât want kids.â
âOh come on,â Wanda says. âSome kids are cute.â
Natasha shakes her head, wrinkling her nose, âNot for me. I look at that and just think it looks like a nightmare. Late nights, no more freedom, and for what? A little brat who ignores me, screams at the top of their lungs, demands things-â
âYeah but like, your own kid would be different, surely?â You say quietly. âYouâd raise them how you want so theyâd be respectful.â
Natasha shrugs, âIâm sure he thought the same thing and now look at him.â
You glance at the man again, seeing the dark circles beneath his eyes, the visible stress on his face as he manages to grab one of the older children in one arm, and the way the child immediately starts kicking his chest. He meets your eye and you quickly look away. âSo you never want kids?â
âNope,â Natasha says firmly, taking another bite of her food. âBeing a Mom just isnât for me. I canât think of anything worse.â
Both women are surprised when you burst into tears. Before either of them can ask whatâs wrong you jump out of your seat, abandoning your food, and rushing to the bathroom. Wanda glances at Natasha, âWhat is up with her? Sheâs been acting so weird lately.â
By the time you get back to the table youâve composed yourself somewhat. When they inevitably ask what was wrong, you just mumble something about the man with his unruly children bringing back old memories. Neither of them questions you any further thought youâre pretty sure they didnât buy it. How could you tell them you were pregnant now though? After everything Natasha had said?
Natasha and Wanda are definitely not buying your act. Theyâd noticed how withdrawn youâd become over the past couple of months, how youâd started hiding behind baggy clothes. They were both worried about you, and wanted to get to the bottom of the problem but they were struggling to get you to open up.
Itâs Natashaâs idea to sneak into your room whilst youâre in your one to one with Maria. Everyone has a one to one with a SHIELD agent every couple of months or so just to make sure theyâre doing okay with the work, their physical health, and their mental health. These one to oneâs can take a few hours to thoroughly go through everything so Natasha and Wanda feel pretty safe about having a snoop in your room.
âMaybe we shouldnât do this,â Wanda says when they step inside. âWe should just ask her-â
âWe already have but sheâs being cagey,â Natasha says. âAnd I want to know why. Once weâve found out, at least we can just deal with it.â
Natasha goes to your bedside table and begins looking through the drawers whilst Wanda stands awkwardly in the middle of the room, watching her. âAre you going to help me?â Natasha eventually snaps as she lifts your bed sheets.
Wanda sighs and heads half-heartedly towards the desk in the corner of your bedroom by the window. Itâs a mess, with a plate on top of your laptop, and several books scattered haphazardly. Wanda picks up the novel at the top of the pile, to reveal a photo underneath. She flips it over and raises her eye-brows when she finds a baby scan.
âUh, NatâŚâ
Natasha stops what sheâs doing to stand by Wanda, her mouth falling open when she looks at the baby scan picture in Wandaâs hand, âIs this⌠Is sheâŚâ
âOh my God, she was really sick for like a month straight! And I thought her story never really added up, the medbay never prescribed her anything-â
âSheâs pregnant?â
âWhose do you think it is? Yours?â
Natasha shakes her head, âNo, she wouldâve told us. Right?â
Wanda gasps, âYou think she didnât tell us because itâs somebody elseâs?â
âShe never even told us she was seeing anyone- How could she keep this a secret? She was sick months ago, she mustâve known for a while.â
Wanda looks back down at the scan, her hands trembling. If youâre pregnant with someone elseâs baby, if you really have slept with someone else⌠Wanda canât help but feel like you cheated. Sheâs not sure why, given youâd never made your relationship official but surely you were beyond friends with benefits by now. That was how Wanda felt anyway. Maybe you felt differently. But why wouldnât you say anything?
âSheâs been spending more time in her room lately,â Wanda says numbly. âAnd wearing those baggy clothes⌠She didnât want us to realise she was pregnant.â
Natasha puts her arm around Wandaâs shoulders, leaning her head against her shoulder, âWe need to talk to her.â
By the time youâre done with your one to one, Natasha and Wanda have put everything back exactly as they found it, and theyâre waiting for you when you arrive. You look between them both, âHey⌠Is everything okay?â
âThatâs what weâre wondering,â Natasha says. âIs there something you wanna tell us?â
You swallow hard, feeling your palms turn sweaty as you clench and unclench your fists. This is the time to admit the truth. âI was going to tell you sooner, I swear-â
âDid you not think about how unfair it was to us?â Wanda bursts. âWe might not have said we were exclusive but I thought it was just implied, one of those unspoken things.â
Your eye-brows furrow, âWhat? What are you-â
âYouâre pregnant!â Natasha says. âYouâre pregnant and you didnât fucking think to tell us?â
âI- Well- I was going to, I swear but then you said all that stuff in the food court-â
âDonât you dare turn this around and blame it on me,â Natasha hisses. âHow long have you known?â
âI- It-â
âHow long have you fucking known, Y/N?â
âAbout three months,â You admit quietly. âI was going to tell you-â
âYouâve known for three months and you didnât tell us once during that time?â Wanda asks. âWhat, were you going to tell us in the delivery suite? When the kid was celebrating its first birthday?â
âNo, of course not, I-â
âWe canât do this anymore, Y/N,â Natasha says. âYouâve been too dishonest. We canât trust you anymore.â
âYou- You canât do what anymore?â
âWe canât be friends with benefits. Or anything actually. You lied to us-â
âWhat? No I didnât!â
âLying by omission is still lying,â Natasha says. âSo I hope he was worth it whoever he was. We didnât even realise you liked guys-â
âWhat are you talking about?â
âSave it, Y/N,â Wanda says, wrapping an arm around Natashaâs waist. She can see how wound up Natasha is getting, and given that youâre pregnant that isnât a good combination. âEven if we werenât official, weâre still supposed to be your friends and you shouldâve told us.â
Seeing Wanda be so protective of Natasha, and realising that theyâre dumping you, causes you to burst into noisy tears. Partly from the pregnancy hormones and partly because youâre heartbroken. How can they turn their back on you? Do they not realiseâŚ? âYou canât just- I thought- I thought we-â
âYeah, we thought so too,â Natasha says bitterly. âBut I guess not.â
Wanda murmurs something reassuring to Natasha, and the two of them leave you alone in your bedroom. You call out their names through your sobs, hoping that theyâll come back, theyâll hold you, reassure you that they understood why you hadnât told them straight away. Of course they donât come back though. You climb onto your bed, your safe space, your sanctuary, and cry into your pillow. How have you ended up here again? Things were going so well and youâd ruined it. Not just for you but for the baby you were supposed to be protecting. They hadnât even been born yet and you were already ruining everything for them. You were going to be an awful Mother â and a single one too by the looks of it.
"I'm sorry," You whisper tearfully, rubbing your hand over your stomach. "I'm sorry I'm such a mess. I'm sorry you're stuck with me. I'm so sorry."
You gear yourself up for another few weeks of the silent treatment from Natasha and Wanda so youâre surprised when Natasha comes to find you just a couple of days later. In your one to one youâd confessed to Maria that you were pregnant and sheâd moved you onto administrative tasks so that you wouldnât hurt yourself in physical training. She was going to put together a lighter workout plan for you so that you wouldnât lose all of your skills completely whilst you were pregnant. In the meantime, you were looking through old files and making sure they were logged in the relevant online systems.
Youâre finding the work therapeutic actually â youâd always shied away from the administrative side of the Avengers work, especially since everyone else seemed to describe it as âdullâ but you found it kept your mind so occupied you couldnât over think everything that was going on. In fact youâre so absorbed in your work that eventually Natasha has to clear her throat after silently watching you work for several minutes.
âHey,â You mumble when your eyes land on her.
âHey,â She replies evenly. âLook, I⌠I donât want to fight. Itâs just⌠You gotta understand how much you hurt our feelings.â
âI really didnât mean to keep it a secret.â
âI know, it just⌠Came as a bit of a shock.â Natasha runs her hand up and down her arm, âWe love you. You must know that. Maybe it was selfish to never ask you if you wanted to be exclusive, to officially invite you into the relationship but⌠You mustâve known.â
âYou keep saying exclusive and I donât really know what you mean by that.â
âAs in you, me and Wanda would be faithful to each other. I know it was never mentioned-â
âNo, I mean- Nat, I was faithful. Why did you assume the baby was someone elseâs?â
Natashaâs face pales and she takes a step back, âWhat are you saying?â
âItâs yours, Nat. Of course itâs yours. I never- Only you and Wanda, and Wanda canât- Itâs yours.â
Natasha puts her hand over her mouth, looking like she might throw up at any second. You remember feeling the exact same way when youâd found out and you give her a small smile, âI know itâs a lot to take in. Iâve decided to keep it. I guess you already figured that out but yeah⌠Iâm having another scan next week if you and Wanda want to come-â
Natasha abruptly turns on her heel and walks out of the room, leaving you alone with your work once again. Your eyes water, the pages before you blurring as you turn back to your paperwork. Part of you had suspected that would be the case. For all Natasha had banged on about you potentially joining their relationship, in being exclusive, in you being loyal to them, you hadnât expected that loyalty in return. You would always come second place to Wanda for Natasha. You and the baby.
That evening Natasha and Wanda are absent when the rest of the Avengers meet in the kitchen for dinner. You make the announcement that youâre pregnant â it was already fairly obvious given you hadnât been in the gym for a while, and you were starting to show. You donât tell anyone that Natasha is the other parent, figuring that she can do that if and when she feels comfortable to do so, and the Avengers are too polite to ask about the babyâs conception. Their positive reactions do cheer you up though, making you feel less alone. Steve says heâs looking forward to having a baby getting into mischief around the compound, whilst Kate offers to help when you need it. Tony even offers to begin baby-proofing, and you smile when he and the other men get into an argument about whatâs safe for a baby.
âYouâre not in this alone,â Clint says to you quietly when the fuss has died down. âThereâs a lot of people here looking out for you. And the baby too.â
You glance at him, not sure whether Natashaâs told him anything or whether heâs just being kind. Either way, you smile, âThank you. That means a lot.â
âDo you know what youâre having?â
You shake your head, âI decided to keep it as a surprise.â
âThatâs going to make clothes shopping a little difficult.â
âHonestly I havenât even started to think of everything that I need yet. It feels so overwhelming-â
âWeâve probably got some old stuff lying around from when Nate was a baby. Iâll ask Laura if she can dig it out.â
âClint, I couldnât-â
âThat junk is expensive, youâre going to want as many handouts as possible, I promise. Iâm sure weâve still got his old crib, a high chair maybe⌠Iâll let you know.â
âWell⌠If youâre sure, it would be a big help. Thank you.â
âNo bother at all. Donât be afraid to shout if you need anything.â
What you really need is Natasha and Wanda. Being pregnant has left you feeling particularly vulnerable, and you wish they would take care of you the way they had before youâd realised you were pregnant. Already your ankles were starting to hurt and you know itâs only going to get worse the bigger that you get. It would be nice to have someone you trust to help you with simple tasks like getting dressed, who could fetch you foods if you were having a craving⌠They donât want to be involved though. And you canât control their decisions, only your own.
A couple of months go by and youâre very visibly pregnant now. Pregnancy hasnât been easy for you, morning sickness has plagued you on and off, some foods are delicious one day then make you nauseous the next, everything feels like itâs aching... Luckily Maria, Fury, and the Avengers have been understanding, and if you need a day to just lie on the couch then they give you the space to do so.
Natasha and Wanda continue to keep their distance.
Youâd written them both a letter about a month ago, attaching a photo of your most recent ultrasound. Youâd kept it non-confrontational just confirming that your pregnancy was progressing well even though you felt ill most days, but the baby was looking healthy, and you were still keeping their sex a surprise. Youâd been brainstorming names but you were happy for them to be involved if they wanted to be.
It had crossed your mind that they wouldnât be able to avoid you and the baby forever. You had no intention of moving out of the compound - knowing that you had the Avengers support was the only thing keeping you going. Some days you would just cry in your bedroom, wondering how you were going to do this all by yourself. Moving away wasnât an option; you needed to be around people. You couldnât imagine Natasha or Wanda moving either though so it wasnât clear how things were going to look once the baby arrived.
Today had been difficult, another day where youâd crashed in front of the couch to watch TV all day. It was boiling hot and your head was hurting, so the thought of sitting in front of your paperwork was too daunting. Instead you switched the air conditioning on full blast and took naps on and off all day. The Avengers ask if you want to join them for dinner but you shake your head, telling them youâre going to have a snack in your bedroom and then youâll have an early night with your book.
It comes as a surprise when you get to your bedroom and find Natasha and Wanda waiting for you. At the end of your bed is a crib with a mobile hung above it, with different Avengers symbols, clearly custom made. In the crib thereâs a white bunny plushie along with a whale blanket. Your bed sheets have been changed, your floor hovered, and your trinkets dusted, all tasks that had desperately needed doing but you just hadnât had the energy.
âFor assuming that youâd cheated even though we werenât properly in a relationship,â Natasha says. âFor using you for sex when we first entered the friends with benefits agreement. And for not supporting you throughout your pregnancy. Especially since itâs mine. But even if it wasnât⌠We shouldâve been there anyway.â
âClint brought the crib around,â Wanda says. âThereâs more furniture that weâll set up elsewhere but we thought⌠It was in pieces so we put it together, gave it a good clean. Itâs a new mattress, and we got the mobile online, made specially for the special baby. Natasha chose the blanket and I chose the plushie. I hope we havenât overstepped-â
âThese are really cute,â You say, running your hand over the crib. âI appreciate it, thank you.â
Natasha puts her hand on top of yours, âYou can tell us weâre too late but⌠We want to be there for you. For you, and the baby.â
âWe want to be in a real relationship with you,â Wanda says. âLike Natasha said, if weâre too late-â
âYouâre not too late,â You say quietly. That spell they hold on you is still there, still making you want them, despite everything. âI want you both, of course I do. Youâre both all Iâve ever wanted. But I need reassurances that this wonât happen again. You canât keep jumping to assumptions, accusing me of things I didnât really say-â
Natasha wraps her arms around your waist, pressing a kiss to your cheek, âWe promise, baby. I guess we got so caught up in our own little bubble⌠But youâre part of it now.â
Wanda puts her hand on your round stomach, âYou and the little one.â
Your eyes water and you nod, âI want to be part of the bubble.â
Natasha and Wanda pull you towards the bed, lying you down between them, and pressing loving kisses to your face, wiping your tears away with their lips. It feels so nice that you cry harder, and they wrap their arms around you, whispering reassurances to you. Youâd known you were feeling lonely but you hadnât realised just how much until this very moment. Natasha runs her hand over your stomach and then leans down to whisper, âHey little squirt⌠Youâre lucky. You got three Mamaâs who are gonna be looking out for you.â
âAnd the Mama thatâs carrying you is the best Mama you could ask for,â Wanda adds. âYouâll never want for anything. Weâre all here to protect you now. We promise.â
Natasha kisses your cheek, âAnd weâll protect you too. Youâre carrying precious cargo after all.â
âAnd youâre our precious girl,â Wanda says. âAlways have been, it just took us a while to realise that.â
That makes you sob harder, and they both fuss over you protectively. It feels so good to have someone comfort you when you cry, to hold you, to feel protected⌠The pregnancy hormones have been driving you crazy. Itâs good to feel like finally, finally, the burden is shared. By two women that you love more than anything⌠And who might just love you too.
âLet us see!â
âI want to hold her first!â
âNo, me!â
âGive her some space,â Natasha says, a protective arm around your shoulders.
You cradle the little bundle in your arms, then adjust so that the others can see the newborn baby in your arms. A quiet, awed coo spreads across the room as everyone takes her in - your baby girl. Youâd given birth in the early hours of yesterday morning and had been discharged today. Your little girl had been born eight days after her due date, clearly comfortable and in no rush to make an appearance.
âWhat name did you settle on?â Clint asks.
âIsla,â Wanda confirms proudly. âOur little Isla.â
You smile â Wanda and Natasha had been smitten with the newborn Isla. Both of them had been there when youâd given birth. At first the midwife had tried to insist that only one of them could be present but Natasha had argued you were all the babyâs Mamaâs, so you all had to be there for the moment she was born. It had been beautiful, both Natasha and Wanda crying as the newborn baby was placed into your arms and youâd had your first skin to skin contact with her.
âYou look exhausted,â Steve says.
âWell, it turns out that giving birth wasnât a picnic,â You joke with a tired smile. âNatasha and Wanda have been amazing though.â
âYou should sit down baby,â Wanda says, leading you towards the living room.
âDo you want me to take Isla?â Natasha asks.
âCome on, I want to hold her,â Carol whines. âPlease, please, please?â
âYeah, yeah, everyone will get a cuddle, donât overwhelm her though,â You warn, letting Natasha take your precious girl out of your arms.
Everyone flocks round Natasha to peer at Isla whilst Wanda leads you to the couch, fussing over you as she gets you settled. âAre you okay?â She asks you quietly.
You nod, glancing over at Natasha. She wouldnât let anything happen to Isla, you know that, but you still feel protective. Your baby is just so little and cute⌠âLooks like everyoneâs excited to meet the baby.â
âOf course they are, look at all the gifts you got at the baby shower. And now they know sheâs a little girl, even more gifts are going to arrive. Just wait.â Wanda fluffs the pillow behind you, then pulls the footstool in front of you, âDo you need anything, baby?â
âWill you hold me?â
Wanda smiles, taking a seat next to you and wrapping her arms around you, letting you rest your head on her chest. Youâre exhausted â youâd barely slept last night, having spent most of it wide awake and gazing at Isla as sheâd slept relatively peacefully, only waking when she was hungry. You were breastfeeding and loved the moments of closeness with her in the middle of the night when the rest of the world was sleeping. Natasha and Wanda had gone home to rest up, and you found that you didnât mind â you appreciated the alone time with your little girl.
Your eyes flutter but they open just one more time to see Natasha hand Isla over to Steve, seeing how tiny your baby looks in Steveâs massive arms. Despite your exhaustion, this is the happiest youâve ever been. Wanda kisses the top of your head and you close your eyes, feeling safe and loved even if you do still feel sore. It doesnât take long for you to drift off into a peaceful sleep, secure in the knowledge that your girlfriends will be there for you when you wake up.
Your girlfriends and your precious girl. Your little Isla. What a rollercoaster it had been but now sheâs here⌠And you couldnât be happier.