Tumblr world of Marvel

As you unwrapped the gift, you were met with extremely familiar cover art. One that had become your greatest source of comfort, an intricate world you loved to get lost in and one you frequently returned to when times were at their toughest. These particular set of words felt like a warm and protective embrace, one that you could alway rely on being there for you when you needed solace.

You chuckled nervously, unsure why he gifted you a copy of your favourite book, one that was clearly secondhand if the crack in the spine was anything to go by.

You already owned a copy that was extremely well loved, and you knew it wasn’t a first edition based on the age cover, so it puzzled you as to why he thought this would be the perfect gift he had teased in the lead up to the holiday.

Bucky knew this was your favourite book, he had listened for hours as you dissected apart the themes, your favourite scenes, the character you identified with most and how their love interest would go to the ends of the world to protect them.

Your heart sank - had he truly not been paying attention all that time?

Perhaps you were being too harsh, maybe he was just one of those people that was terrible at giving gifts.

Every interaction with Bucky always felt as though he knew you like the back of his hand, that he could read how you were feeling as if you were his favourite book.

You smiled at him, trying to avoid that awkward exchange of pretending you liked the gift when in reality it was something you already owned, but he was already on the offence, knowing you well enough to tell you were attempting (and failing) at hiding your true reaction.

“Open it.” He chuckled, as if to say ‘give me a little credit, there’s more to it than that’.

Once you flipped to the first page it dawned on you what Bucky had actually done. Scrawled in the margins of the page was his own handwriting, having underlined certain lines and scribbled annotations beside them.

Flicking through each page his handwriting gradually became messier, but the commentary didn’t abate. And when you finally reached the chapters you loved most, you could tell he had been paying attention during all your rants because his comments included ‘I see your point about…’ and ‘I can see why you adore this part so much’.

Lost in your own little world, you could hear Bucky’s voice in your head as you read his annotations, his chuckle when he underlined certain phrases and wrote ‘this reminded me of you’. The way your heart swelled in that moment could rival when the grinch's heart grew three sizes.

It was the most extensive love letter you had ever received, the person you loved most in the world providing you with his intimate thoughts on a book you treasured with your whole heart. Every time you picked up that book you would never be alone, Bucky would now forever be reading it alongside you.

Tightly clutching the book close to your chest, you finally looked up at Bucky with teary eyes to find his own softly gazing at you, brimming with affection.

“I don’t have any words except thank you. I love it.” Your throat felt dry, though a tear slipped down your cheek. Bucky reached up and carefully wiped it away.

“And I love you.”

Next year you’re really going to have to up your gift giving game if you’re going to outdo him.

And Peter knows it wrong, and one day he’s gonna get caught in something that makes him confess before he’s ready and it will be a bigger issue than it should, but part of him likes that he’s just Peter with you and even though he knows he’s making the wrong decision he doesn’t want to tell you anything until you ask.

You tilt your head at him and purse your lips, trying to see if he was playing at something.

He looked genuine.

“Okay. Do you want to keep making out or do something else? I saw Battleship in your cupboard the other day, I’m sure I could kick your ass.” You grinned at him and played with the lapels of his collar while you waited for a response.

“Hmm, makeout please. Then kick my ass.”

He pulled you in for a kiss, and you tried to be respectful of his no. But old habits die hard and when lost in a daze of Peter’s tongue grazing your own you ground your hips into his. In an act of apology you placed your hand on his waist and squeezed lightly, you pulled from him slightly to mutter an apology.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean-”

Peter’s face scrunched up, almost like you hurt him.

You glanced at the hand on his waist and grabbed again, he grunted this time. You directed your gaze at him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Hm? Nothing, you’re good. C’mere.”

You pulled your head back.

“No. What’s wrong?”

“Nothings wrong, I don’t know what you mean.”

You narrowed your eyes and squeezed. Peter did his best attempt at a poker face but you did it tightly this time, and even you saw the wobble of his lip in betrayal.

“That doesn’t hurt?”

“No.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’m fine, baby.” He leaned in for a kiss, if you didn’t know better you would think it’s a distraction.

You squeezed again and this time he removed your hand from him and placed it on his thigh.

“Then let me see.” You tried to move the shirt up but his hand laid on top of yours.

“See what? Nothing is there.”

“Then let me see.”

“No.”

“Peter!” You whined his name, why was he acting like this?

“Y/N.” He kept his tone neutral, not a good sign. He was getting annoyed.

You wanted to see how far you could push him.

“Are you sore?”

He sighed, he knew in his heart he should’ve just taken up the offer for Battleship.

“No, I’m fine. I promise.”

“Are you hurt?”

“I just said I was fine, baby.”

You pouted at his claim, it was a bold face lie and you both knew it. In a quick moment you raced to throw his shirt up but he locked his hands around your wrists quicker than you could finish the plan.

“Stop.” He was serious this time, no more playing.

You knew he was over the interrogation by his grip, it didn’t hurt but it was tight. He was subtly hinting he would throw you off him if you didn’t stop.

Peter knows you’re confused and probably a little hurt because you knew he was lying and worse, hiding something he didn’t want you to see. He wonders what you’re thinking, if he’s sore from a new workout, or if he has hickeys all over he doesn’t want you to see, or maybe you were really just thinking why he didn’t trust you.

You held your hands up in surrender, this wasn’t fun anymore.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I won’t ask again, maybe it’s sepsis and you’re dying. It’s fine, no big deal.” You lightly teased him, trying to show you weren’t trying to corner him. You just cared.

Peter rolled his eyes, “It’s not sepsis.”

“Oh, so you admit it?”

“Admit what?”

“It’s something.”

Peter just looked in your eyes with pursed lips, both of you refused to break eye contact. The room was silent and unmoving for a solid minute.

“I think it’s time for battleship.”

Peter tapped your thighs to get you to get off him so he could stand up and set up the game, you crossed your arms over your chest and challenged him for a moment, calling his bluff. Was he really about to ignore the whole situation?

The answer was yes, he was just blinking back at you and looked confused as to why you weren’t moving off him. He was prepared to let you win, he was just gonna say you were hitting ships even when you weren’t, just to make you feel like you won something against him.

You huffed and pushed off of him.

“Fine. But don’t let me win, I’m going to kick your ass just because I can.”

And even though you kept putting the largest ship in the same place, Peter let you win.

—--------------------------------------------

“Ouch, what’s that from?”

You frowned at the small graze across Peter’s face, a superficial cut that ran over his right cheek. You placed a light kiss to the mark as if you could heal it instantly.

“I was walking down 5th and May called and I dropped my phone. When I picked it up I stood back up into a bush, got me a good one.”

“It looks like you got hit with something.” (He did.)

You ran your thumb over the injury.

“Yeah, Mother Nature.”

“That’s not a fight I think you can win, dear. But, now my boyfriend looks like a tough guy.”

Peter can get behind that idea, some big strong man you hide behind who doesn’t take shit from anyone.

“Ah, does that do something for you? I can start picking fights if that’s what you want.”

You scrunch your nose at his teasing, “Nah. I love my soft, mushy boyfriend. He’s so nice and kind, he could never hurt anyone.” (He could.)

And those are the kind of comments that make him feel bad, because how was he supposed to tell you he actually is picking fights and isn’t so nice and kind sometimes.

Too bad your hug is crushing him and all he can feel is what he thinks is the right decision.

—-------------------------------------------------------------

“Ah! Fuck, what the fuck!”

Your heart raced and you held a hand over your chest to try and regulate the pulses. Your senses bounced off the brick around you, in an effort to catch your breath from the fright you breathed heavily for a second.

“You scared the fuck out of me.”

“Sorry! I thought you heard me!”

The red and blue hero dropped behind you and didn’t say a word until you felt someone watching you and turned ready to scream out ‘Fire!’ and had the daylights scared out of you.

“It’s fine, just got my blood racing a little.”

“What’s up? Long time no see.”

It’s true. You hadn’t seen the masked vigilante for a moment, he was never around or at least wasn’t around when you were.

“Nothing much. My birthday is about to come up, Peter and I are coming up on six months. But, we're also in a rough patch right now, so yeah. That’s fun.”

Rough patch?

You were in a rough patch?

“Rough patch?”

“Yeah. It’s whatever, I’m sure it’s fine.” You shrugged but if you were being honest you were actually kind of losing sleep over it.

“What do you mean?”

Yeah, what do you mean?

“Uh, he’s hiding something from me. And I can’t tell if it’s something big or not, and I’ve really been trying to be cool but if I’m being honest it’s really starting to fuck with my head.” You gave a small laugh at the end but even he could tell it was forced.

Was him not being honest ruining the relationship?

“When did that start?”

Did he start to let his guard drop?

“I don’t know. I think he’s always been kind of, I don’t know. He’s not like, secretive but he’s kind of private, but not really? I mean I can ask him anything but sometimes I can tell he’s just talking around the topic, you know?”

“And recently it’s been getting worse. Like, sometimes he won’t let me touch him. And I don’t think it's me, it’s just because he doesn’t want to be touched. It’s almost like I’m hurting him, and now I can’t help but think maybe he has trauma or something but that’s not a thing you ask outright. I can’t help but think we’re both waiting for the other to bring it up first.”

Ouch.

He’s made his girlfriend feel like shit.

That’s not being the best boyfriend he promised he would be.

Ouch.

“I think you’re right. It not being a you thing, I mean. Maybe he has something he’s not ready to share yet.”

You let out a heavy sigh.

“I know. And I know this sounds shitty, because I want him to work this out on his own and come to me when he’s ready. But, I also want to know I’m not crazy and that there is something he’s hiding. And I can’t just ask if he’s hiding something out of the blue because then he’s going to lie and I really, really hate that he’s been lying. And we both fucking know it, I mean he just looks at me and we both know what he said was a lie but neither of us comment on it.”

Yeah, he feels like shit.

“I just…” You trail off, and for the first time in the past two weeks spiral you cry. And you cry hard, your breaths tremble and you squat with your head between your knees to collapse the spinning thoughts around you.

Peter doesn’t know what the fuck to do.

Because he wants to wrap himself around you and tell you it’s okay.

But he doesn’t think Spider-Man would do that.

So he doesn’t.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay, just breathe okay?”

You sniffle and rub your eyes.

“I just really, really love him. Why doesn’t he trust me?” Your voice broke and Peter had to look directly into your teary eyes through his mask and tell you he doesn’t know.

—---------------------------------

It was another Saturday night where Peter was rejecting your advances.

It has been happening more frequently, not super often but enough to make you question something. Peter has just been more on edge, and now that he knows you’re looking for something he doesn’t want to risk it.

You pulled from him and sighed.

“What’s the no for this time?”

He feels like he should be honest.

So he is.

“I have a bad bruise and it hurts, I scraped up my side and it’s ugly.”

“Can I see it?”

“I don’t really want you to.”

At least he was being honest, and that is something you’ll take.

“Okay. Thanks for telling me.” You grinned at him, and pressed a chaste kiss to his mouth.

“Can I ask what happened?”

“I rubbed it against a building, no biggie.” (He was swinging quite fast and was too busy looking at a pigeon trying to fly off with a whole sandwich.)

“Ouch.” You frowned and looked down at his torso.

“Where is it?”

Peter ran a hand over his left rib area and you ducked your head down to place feather light kisses over his shirt.

He sighed and rubbed at the back of your head.

“Feels better already.”

—-----------------------------------------------------------

“Let me kiss it better.”

Peter pulled his hand away from you and hid it, he didn’t want you to kiss it better. You had just walked in two seconds after he dropped the suit from his body, his cheeks glew at the wolf whistle you gave his mostly naked body.

You clocked in on his scraped knuckles, you weren’t sure how it happened but you’ve learned Peter is pretty clumsy. He was usually scraped, cut or bruised somewhere but never so much it drew out real questions you wouldn’t let him escape from.

Peter on the other hand tried to play it off, but in reality he hasn’t washed the blood from his hand yet and he’s not sure whose it is. Was it his or was it from the teeth scraping across as he punched some guy in the jaw a few dozen times?

He didn’t want you to kiss a stranger's blood, even if you took it as rejection he wouldn’t give in and let you win.

“It’s okay, baby. Doesn’t hurt.” (It actually didn’t this time.)

“But it’s my job to kiss your boo-boos.”

“Not tonight, I’d rather kiss you.”

He’s gotten better at redirecting your thoughts.

“I’m okay with that, but don’t put on pants. Just a waste of time.”

You winked at his boxers and nibbled on your bottom lip.

Tonight he didn’t object.

-------------------———————————-

Everything Peter was scared of happening was happening right now.

He doesn’t know how you got here, and he doesn’t know how he stumbled upon you but he is so glad he did. You were currently soaking wet and shivering while heaving breaths, your face was red and wet, he wasn’t sure if it was the rain or tears.

What you were doing in the pouring rain almost two hours into the Bronx is beyond him, he just wanted you home, dry and safe.

“What’s going on?” His panicked questioning made you cry harder.

“I’m not, I don’t, please help me. Please.”

“Okay, okay. Tell me what’s going on so I can help you. Can you do that for me?”

Peter watched as you calmed your breath, shoulders shaking from the cold rain on bare skin. Your breaths came in stutters as you tried to speak.

“My phone is dead and I don’t know where I am. I fell asleep on the train and I had to get off and I tried staying in the station but this old fucking creep was following me around,”

Peter’s heart sank.

You were terrified, lost and cold.

“So I came out here and I forgot my jacket at Peter’s and, and, and. I really need him, can you call him please?”

Peter froze.

He can’t call Peter, he is Peter.

“I don’t have his number, I can help you, it's okay.”

Spider-Man tried to reach for your arm but you recoiled and broke into a sob.

“No. Please call Peter, please. I know his number, I would call him on the payphone, I tried but that guy came up right behind me and was pressing into me.”

He felt worse by the second.

You just really, really needed him.

“I’m sorry, I can’t.”

“It’s your job! You’re supposed to help. Please call my boyfriend.” You became bitter but it was just nerves.

“I can’t. I can’t give out my number like that, you have to understand. I can get you back home safely, that’s the best I can offer.”

“I don’t want to go alone, he can come. He will come, just call him. He won’t leave me here, I know he won't.”

He knows he wouldn’t either.

But he’s not Peter right now, and he can’t be no matter how much you need him.

“I’ll ride with you. Just so you’re not alone, would that be okay?” He was almost pleading with you, out of every other time he wants this one to be the time where you just shut up and listen.

“I just really don’t want you right now, I’m sorry.” You sniffled and shuffled away from him, blinking away the rain droplets on your eyelashes.

Peter doesn’t know what to say.

You won’t listen to Spider-Man, it’s not who you want.

“Would you come with me to call him? I understand you can’t call him but just so I don’t have to go back down there alone, please?”

Now he has to watch you get ignored 3 times because he can’t answer, he’s right next to you. And he’s staring down the old guy four benches down looking you up and down from the side. After the third call with no answer you slammed the phone down on the hook.

“I don’t know why he didn’t answer. The one time I really, really needed him to answer he didn’t.”

Peter really wishes he could tell you he’s right there, just one arm length away.

“Let me take you home, he probably just has unknown callers silenced. No need to panic, okay?” Peter cautioned the words scared for a blow up on your end but it was worse, it was defeat.

It was disappointment.

It was hurt.

Peter had let you down.

And he watched himself do it.

“What if he calls back?”

“He can’t. You can’t call payphones back.”

Peter isn’t sure if that’s true, but he does know that the phone will never ring.

“Okay. You can take me home.”

Three stops before yours you told Spider-Man he could leave. You promised you would be okay and that you really appreciated him taking the hours out of his evening to get you home even after you freaked out on him.

As soon as the doors opened you were met with the worried eyes of your boyfriend, a smile broke over his face as you stepped through. You were confused but more than anything, you were safe, comforted, and warm. He was so, so warm. And he had a jacket for you.

“How did you know I was here?” Your cold nose was buried in his shoulder.

“Private caller. They left me a message and said you were here and waiting for me, heard you got a little lost.”

“I was so so sacred. Spider-Man found me, and I was begging him to call you. I wonder if he did, I called you three times.”

“On the payphone? I have unknown callers silenced, from now on I’ll keep them on okay? I’m sorry you were scared, it’s a good thing Spidey was there huh?”

You shook your head and pressed into him for a hug.

“There isn’t anyone or anything that makes me feel safer than being right here.”

Peter decided then he has to tell you.

—------------------------------------------

It’s fair you’re pissed at Peter.

He knows it’s fair, he just hopes you’ll still date him after this.

And of course he was right, you found out before he was ready to tell you and he knows it’s gone on too long, and there wasn’t going to be an easy way to break the news but you finding out on your own made you spiral into a frenzy and now you refused to speak to him.

He had just washed his suit, and with the technology he couldn’t dry it so on wash days he kept it hung in his closet to air dry until he would use it that night.

Then you came over and rolled around in his bed, then begged him to make you a grilled cheese, then begged to watch the new season of reality TV on Netflix, which he hates but knows you love the drama. He also feels a little good because the whole time you cling to his arm and watch the guys berate their new fiancès and tell Peter you’re so glad he doesn’t act like that.

It was totally normal until the evening.

You had asked to take a shower before dinner, and sat on his bed with your wet hair dripping down your pajama shirt, and his fan iced the droplets and it sent chills up your back. You were planning on spending the night and so in your shivers you dug yourself under his blankets but the cold had already settled into your bones and you were contemplating getting a hoodie of Peter’s out of his closet.

“Hey.”

You were almost at his closet doors when he interfered.

“I’m cold.”

“C’mere.” He opened his arms for a hug but his warmth wasn’t settling the chill in your body.

“Want to do chinese? If not, we can do that pasta thing again.”

“Hmm, I’m not sure yet. I’m too cold to decide, I’m gonna grab a hoodie.”

You broke from the hug and Peter stepped to the side in front of you again.

“I can grab it.”

You rolled your eyes with a grin, you’re not sure if Peter’s love language was more acts of service or physical touch.

“It’s okay, I can manage.”

You tried to step to the side once more but he followed you.

“No really, I insist.”

Even with a smile on his face you saw the slight panic, he didn’t want you in his closet.

“What? Are you hiding your other girlfriend in there or something?”

He was hiding something in there for sure. Just not another girl.

“Oh yeah, there’s another one under the bed too. I’m surprised you didn’t see the third one hiding in the shower.”

A shudder ran down your spine and you were able to place a hand on the closet handle before Peter leaned against the doors so they wouldn’t open.

“I got it.”

You furrowed your brow at him, why was he acting like this?

“Yeah, I can too.”

“No really, let me.”

You don’t know why but suddenly you were warm with slight rage, why was he being so fascitous? There was no reason for him to be trying so hard to keep you from opening the doors but there was.

And you didn’t know why.

“No. Let me.”

You pulled at the handle but it didn’t budge under Peter resting against it.

“Peter, move.”

He thinks this is the moment. You’re about to find out and he’s terrified.

“Baby I don’t mind, let me take care of you.” This was his last plea, hiding behind wanting to take care of you and not because he was trying to hide his suit. Not at all.

“What are you hiding?” You jiggled the handle again.

“What? Nothing.”

“No, it’s something.” You weren’t even cold anymore, this was about standing your ground.

“I don’t-“

You cut him off, you were done with the lies.

“Then move.”

Peter stayed silent this time.

He was about to let you in.

He was about to watch the other shoe drop.

You pushed his shoulder to move him off the door and he stumbled away while holding his breath. He wasn’t even as half as nervous when May found out.

You opened the door and let out a breath.

“See? Did it just fine on my own.”

Your hand ran across the right rack looking through the hooded collection searching for your favorite. You didn’t get why he was so adamant on you not doing this yourself, there was absolutely no issue.

You slipped the thick blue fleece off the hanger and turned sideways to close the door, and when the door was almost shut your breath hitched, did you just see what you thought?

Peter stayed still, he knows you saw.

You slowly cracked the door back open and looked at the left rack. And it was there, hung up. Just spandex and so innocent looking, you almost told yourself it was just an authentic replica. A costume.

But you knew better.

And by his reaction, or lack of, was answer enough.

You dropped the sweatshirt to the ground and ran a thumb over the shoulder of the suit, the same texture that was on your cheek when you asked him to not beat up Peter.

Peter was Spider-Man.

Your boyfriend was Spider-Man.

You confided in him several times, about him.

You felt so dirty, and played, and dumb, and belittled. Each time you talked with him replayed in your mind, every conversation and accusation.

It was so unfair.

Peter always had the upper hand, and you weren’t even aware he did.

Peter just watched your reaction, your thumb didn’t move. You didn’t move, just stayed still until your hand dropped and when you turned to look at him he stayed silent waiting for you to break the ice.

He was going to wait until you asked him a question or all of them, but you didn’t. You just shook your head at him and shoulder checked him as you walked out his room and headed to grab your bag by the front door to leave.

“Hey, hey, hey. Stop, let’s talk.”

“You don’t want me to talk to you right now.” You sounded so bitter, so hurt, so angry.

“Yes I do, let me hear it.”

“No. I literally don’t even want to see you right now.”

Peter moved to stand in front of the door and true to your word you had your head turned to the wall in effort not to look at him. Even seeing him, watching him try to handle this with ease unsettled you. He didn’t realize how uncomfortable you felt right now.

“Baby, let’s talk, okay? I’ll answer any questions.”

You laughed bitterly at his words, funny now he was the king of honesty.

“You know maybe you can send Spider-Man out to collect all the intel on Peter and I’s issues.”

“Hey, that’s not what I meant to happen.”

“Fuck off, Peter. I really, really don’t want to be around you. But, you know, I’m sure Spidey will track me down and ask me about an issue he somehow knows I’m having.”

He shook his head and tried to defend himself, “That’s not-“

“That’s not how it happened, I get it. The first time was a fluke, I’ll give you that. But every other time you knew who I was, and what I wanted. You played into it, you should’ve ignored me. You shouldn’t have kept tracking me down or talking to me, you had an unfair advantage the entire time.”

“You should’ve never talked to me as him after I told him I liked you. That is dirty behavior and now I really don’t trust you, I mean what else are you hiding?”

Peter knows in his heart this was deserved, he knows what you mean, and you’re not wrong. He knows in his heart that he only cared and was checking up on you but to you it felt like he was playing you.

“I know, I know. I wanted to tell you, I really did, I swear. I just really liked that you didn’t know, and it wasn’t even sadistic, I just liked being just me around you. I didn’t want to explain every detail of what I do, or what I did that night, you know?”

“No, Peter. I really don’t know, I didn’t talk to you like a third party person and pretend like I didn’t actually know you. I was only honest with you, and you weren’t. I genuinely don’t know what is real or a lie anymore.”

You were hurt and confused and honestly it was fucking hard with your head, did he act or say certain things because you told Spider-Man what you wanted?

Was he ever going to actually tell you?

“I love you. And I know I messed up, but I promise nothing was a lie. Everything I told you about Peter as Spider-Man was true.”

And Peter was being honest, he didn’t mean to mess it up this hard. He knew you wouldn’t be happy but he didn’t expect you to question the entire relationship.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I know I should’ve but I didn’t want this to happen.”

He pointed between you two and your face hardened, he didn’t understand your point.

“This isn’t happening because you didn’t tell me you were Spider-Man, I get why you didn’t tell me. This is happening because you kept using it to your advantage, and you knew what you were doing. You should have left me alone. That’s why this is happening.”

Peter wasn’t sure how to navigate this anymore, everything he said was the wrong thing. Maybe you were right, he should’ve let you leave, you weren’t ready to talk about this right now.

He let out a sigh and rubbed at his forehead, he understood that you needed space and talking it out was making it worse.

“Okay, okay. I know you’re mad, and hurt and upset with me right now. And I don’t want to fix that, I just want you to work through this with me, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Do you want to leave? If you need time away from me it’s okay.”

“Yeah.”

You threw your backpack over a shoulder and passed by him towards the door before he grabbed your wrist.

“I’m sorry, and I love you.”

“I know you are.”

Peter frowned at the response.

“You’ll call me if you need something right? We’re okay for now?”

You nodded at him and pulled your wrist from his grasp.

“We’re okay. I love you. I’ll call you later.”

At least you said you loved him back, but he couldn’t help but feel off after watching you leave without a glance back.

Peter feels like he’s really, really messed up.

————————————-

“Hi.”

Peter whipped his head down at you, he wasn’t expecting you to approach him in the suit, especially after yesterday. You hadn’t talked to him for a whole twenty four hours and he actually felt like he was going crazy. And he didn’t realize how often he texts or snapchats you or sends links until he decided to leave the contact up to you.

He wasn’t upset at you, you were upset at him so he thinks it’s fair that you come to him first. But he really wasn’t expecting that it would be a day later, maybe a few days at least if he was basing it off of how upset you were yesterday.

“Hi.”

“I missed you.” You sniffled.

“I missed you, too.”

Peter watched you slowly trying to gauge your reaction, he genuinely couldn’t tell what you were thinking and he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

“Wanna talk?”

You nodded your head slowly, and looked around the space you were in wondering if it was a quiet enough spot. Off the busy street you tucked away into the corner of the alleyway, your eye catching the webbed bag up the wall.

He jumped off the roof and followed you and waited for you to talk, he watched as you soaked him in for a second. You’ve seen Spider-Man before but now knowing he was Peter you looked at him differently, you were drawing over his curves and dips with your eyes and you reached out to run a hand down his front.

“Can I… Can you take off your mask?”

In an instant he pulled it off and you watched as his hair fell down in a fluff, you reached a hand out to smooth over the curls, trying your best to place it the way he normally has it despite knowing it was about to get ruined.

“Feels weird seeing you in the suit, it’s like you’re cosplaying.”

“How do you put it on?” You traced over his chest and then turned him around as you searched for a zipper.

“The spider.” He lightly ran his glove over the emblem and without understanding the concept you pressed the spider confused with the steps.

“Oop!” Your arms flailed as you were unsure what to do, in one motion the suit expanded and quite literally fell off his body. Even hiding in the corner you tried to shield him from any outside views.

Peter giggled as you fumbled around, he drew the suit back up and grabbed your hand to press the spider as it conformed back into his shape.

“Sorry, I didn’t know it would do that.”

“It’s okay.” He smiled warmly and you were desperate to kiss him so you did.

“What’s up?”

You bit the inside of your cheek and pondered on what to say, or more what to ask. More than anything knowing that your boyfriend was now an open book and was willing to answer any questions you had.

“Can you see out of that?”

You pointed at the mask in his hand.

“Mhm.” He nodded.

You couldn’t picture how, it looked like mesh. In fact when you ran your thumb over it, it felt like mesh.

“How?”

“Well my senses make it hard to-“

“No, how did it happen? How are you him?”

“A spider bite. Radioactive spider, I didn’t realize until the next morning that something was up. I woke up and felt like my head was splitting open cause I could hear the entire city in my head.”

“When?”

“When I was 15.”

“Who else knows?”

“May, MJ and Ned.”

You nodded slowly, everyone knew.

And you didn’t.

“If it makes you feel better it’s not just you I never told, everyone just found out on their own.”

You hummed and nodded your head.

“So everytime you said no to sex you were hiding a Spidey ingury?”

“Correct.”

You didn’t know how to move forward, what happened next? Do you forget what happened?

You do understand why he didn’t say anything, but he also should’ve never interfered after the first time. You can’t help but feel a little violated, and it’s not like you cared Peter knew what you said, it’s how he was hearing that bothered you.

“I’m still upset at you.”

You sniffled again and rolled a pebble under your foot, you watched Peter frown before looking behind you and pulling you into him and behind the dumpster.

You pulled a face of confusion until you heard chattering voices and group laughs walking by the clearance. His strong hearing impressed you, it was new seeing him react to his senses in front of you.

“I know, baby. And I understand, I know what I did was wrong. And I don’t want to try and justify it but, in my mind I was just caring for you. I didn’t even think of it like that, and I don’t know why I didn’t. Cause I’d be peeved if the situation was swapped.”

Peter was honest, he knew after sulking all night he was wrong. He did exploit his position but he just loved you and cared for you and just wanted you to feel safe and heard, but you wanted to do all of that with Peter, not Spider-Man.

“You know what hurts me the most?”

Peter doesn’t want to hear it.

“No, what?”

“When you didn’t tell me that day when I got lost. I was fucking petrified and I needed you, you saw how much I needed you and you just went along with the story. Looking back on that now I just feel so hurt.”

Peter felt his heart drop.

He let you down.

He knows he did that day.

It just really hurt having you confirm his fears.

“It really, really hurt me not to tell you. And that doesn’t compare to how you felt, I just want you to know that even though I caused this, I didn’t feel good doing it.”

Peter wasn’t evil, he was a sweet boy. Just a little unaware.

And that’s what you loved most about him.

“That's it, right? No more secrets?”

Peter laughed and nodded his head.

“That’s it. I promise.”

“Total transparency?”

You raised your hand to shake his and spread your fingers over his gloved hand, warmth seeking into your palms.

“Total transparency.”

You bit your lip and over exaggerated your hand shake.

“Good. Cause I have some questions.”

“I’ll answer all of them.”

“Okay! Did you get all your powers at once or was it one at a time? How fast can you swing? How slow can you swing? Have you ever hit a bird? When do you eat? Wait, how do you pee? How do your webs work? Please don’t say they come out of you.”

You paused for a gulp of air and watched Peter’s eyes go wide.

“Are all your senses effected? Can you super smell now? And how do your senses work? Could I wear the mask? Or does it only work for your head? Wait, do you know Tony Stark? Could I meet Tony Stark? Do you have a room at the Avengers tower? Is Tony Stark cool? Can you-“

“Baby breathe.”

Peter watched your face grow in color while you continued to ask away, and if he was honest he needed you to stop for a minute.

“Sorry! I’m just curious.”

You watched Peter try and mentally checklist the questions so he could respond and you bit your cheek while he counted the questions. Your mind started to wander off.

“So if you were swinging through-“