My history with Persephone goes back a long way. Before I knew of her existence, I learned about her mother, Demeter... and I fell in love with the idea of getting closer to her because she reminded me of my own mother. Reading about the myth of Demeter, I met Persephone, and from the first moment I discovered her existence, I felt instinctively drawn to the goddess. There were many things that connected me to her: my overprotective mother and our bond from having spent most of my life being raised solely by her; an absent and neglectful father who didn't see me as important enough to deserve an explanation; having gone through a romance that ended my era of innocence (and, like other things committed by other men, generated trauma); and a voluntary but arduous movement to overcome my shadows (or the acceptance to embrace them). This first awakening to her presence was at the beginning of my adult life. But since I had no experience with goddesses and witchcraft, I kept postponing the moment to properly introduce myself. But in the meantime, many things about her kept appearing to me; her name came up in texts I was reading, it was sung in songs I listened to, it was recited in poems I read... and my desire to know her only grew, but the fear of the unknown was slow to subside. But one day I decided to join an initiatory coven about the mysteries of the goddess (it also appeared to me as if by magic). But I ended up talking to a spirit about the connection I feel, and he told me it was a terrible idea to pursue it, that because she was a chthonic goddess she would be accompanied by demons and other spirits linked to the underworld, and that I wouldn't know how to handle them in the condition I was in at the time. I didn't join the coven, but I continued reading, watching videos, and thinking incessantly about her; it ended up becoming an obsession.
And it turned out the spirit was right, even though I never called out to her or even lit a candle for her, I ended up opening a portal solely through the power of my strong intention. But because I was mentally unbalanced, I didn't attract her attention, but rather that of dense and obsessive spirits. This, combined with my empathic mediumship, ended up attracting many suffering spirits as well. The whole process of discovering the obsession happened through the use of a necklace from a bazaar that turned out to be a haunted jewel, possessed by something not at all pleasant. Well, my third eye opened suddenly and I began to feel everything at once: the energy of the spirits, the energetic attacks, astral larvae sliding inside my skull, and their movement leaving my body through my spine, being controlled by a benevolent spirit that guides me in this life. As the hours passed, I began to feel more and more; in a short time, I was able to physically feel the energy of the objects I touched. I had to rush to a priestess and go through an initiation ritual in a religion to receive the support of the gods of my culture. During the ritual, I received spirits, had visions of gods and spiritual guides, and in the end, I began to have visions of the dead who were around me. And an incredible thing happened: I began to feel the energy of the people around me, the energy of the elements like iron/porcelain/glass/plastic/wood... and I felt the earth! I felt the abyssal energy of the earth rising from my feet to my crown chakra and my energy descending to the earth, in this incessant exchange. I could feel the energy of my oracle decks, and they were incredible! But all this happening at once and in such a short time ended up driving me quite crazy. And my newly found "senses" gradually closed down so I could take care of myself until I was ready to learn how to deal with them. This whole journey was my entry into spiritual life, and after finding myself in the most critical and traumatized stage of my existence, I had to learn to be reborn stronger, more confident, to embrace my newly revealed shadows and to deal with a second loss of innocence (but this time spiritual innocence). This whole situation ended up generating a great fear of the goddess. But in a recent oracle reading, they said they saw a Greek goddess accompanying me. And the thing about her always appearing out of nowhere, in things I interacted with, didn't stop. And now that I'm in balance and taking care of my spirituality with the help of others, much more experienced than me, I decided to face my fear. I started studying her in a more reliable way (through books by other priestesses who worship her). Let's see where this path leads me... I hope not to new obsessive spirits. Wish me luck!
kianamaiart
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