MartiniFruit

my white friends that have reblogged this give me life

4. Sometimes I am a shitty white person and the jokes remind me to FUCKIN STOP

If ur white and like this post I fux with u

^absolutely

5. It’s hard to be offended when white people jokes involve bland food/tourist dads in socks and sandals/white girls in yoga pants obsessed with pumpkin spice/suburban PTA moms and other harmless and mostly true stereotypes while jokes about POC involve them being called thugs/criminals/slurs/uneducated/illegal immigrants.

i fucks with u heavy if ur white and you reblog this

6. They’re usually really fucking funny and don’t perpetuate stereotypes that will ever affect me economically, politically, or cause me any true harm, let alone create risks that “justify” my murder and/or death

is it too early or can we start screaming now

in retrospect perhaps we should have started sooner

this post is the equivalent of a newspaper from the day of the outbreak being blown past by the wind after you wake up in a post apocalyptic world

posts funnier with timestamps on

i took a nap and woke up in all these goddam spinanch

not ignoring you not replying to you but a secret third thing

forgor

you people aren't CASTING

this is my favourite addition to this post by far everyone go home. this freak won the post

You can reverse the flow of Mako if you concentrate

You can also make her go faster if you unfocus your eyes

Do you guys wanna see the version of bloodymary im somewhat invested in

I’ve seen like three pieces of fanart where Rocky somehow gets connection to earth and finds out Grace is in the tumblr Sexyman contest and has no idea what that is or what that means and asks Grace, but I’ve yet to see anything of Grace explaining it to him and I’m now imagining a fic where Rocky finds out about the tumblr Sexyman contest and that his human made the contest and Grace has to explain everything

The irony of the fact that Rocky will also probably be in the tumblr sexyenby contest this year

I’ve been reading through the notes and I just have to say that I absolutely promise, promise, promise you that nobody in the dental surgery is there to judge you, and we’re certainly not mad at you. Cavities happen. Even to dentists. You think your dentist has a mouth full of virgin teeth? Unlikely! They’ve all visited eachother’s surgeries to get a quickie filling (ooh, saucy) between patients. They understand that life can get in the way of oral hygiene sometimes. They understand that life’s too short not to eat chocolate. They understand that you’ve got to live. I swear to you that everyone in that room is just there to help you. Please, please, please don’t stop going to the dentist because you’re worried they’ll be mad at you. It’s really not the case. They understand. It’s fine. It’s really, really fine. Please go to the dentist. I promise you it’s ok.

You would not believe how comforting this is.

I tell this to the kids I treat so often when they’re old enough to ask what getting a cavity means for them. I tell them, “If you get a cavity, the only thing that happens is that we fix it. I’m not gonna be upset, I’m not gonna think you did anything wrong, I’m just gonna help you fix it.”

when i was sixteen and insane for my shakespeare class final i had to do the “alas poor yorick” monologue at a competition and while i was doing it i had this insane thought of like. i’ve never been and never will be closer to experiencing hamlet’s mental state than i am right now. like of course all that stuff didn’t happen to me but when you’re 16-19 you kind of feel like all that stuff is happening, all the time, constantly

Love when people accidentally recreate the meme like with the "fuck this post and happy birthday Sonic" one

Why is this heat so hot 😩

It’s the heat

Source?