Alana.del.Bae

Polar Butt

Hanging out at the swim up bar.

reading a romance novel where the protagonist feels the need to stop and inform that audience that it's okay for her, a 27 year old, to hook up with a 31 year old because despite the age difference both of their brains are fully developed. the Discourse really has done incalculable damage.

that's...they're adults 4 years apart, who on Earth would think there's any sort of meaningful age gap

#you know those posts that are like. pulling up a small weed and discovering it's attached to a root system that wraps around the sewer line.#this is one of those.

HELP i’m sitting at an outdoor cafe and this lady was at another table next to me and the barista called my name and I stood up to walk ten feet to grab my drink and the lady JUMPED up and LUNGED over to my table and took my seat????? i’m not even gonna say anything bc I’m so confused. they’re virtually the same tables with the same views and amount of sunlight etc.

decided the funniest possible response was to just sit back down at the table with her. She’s not looking at me.

she just got up to get her coffee and put her purse and jacket and hat down to save her seat. this is so funny what kind of world does she live in?? anyway we’re just sharing a table now.

ppl keep suggesting she’s neurodivergent and ‘needed’ that table for whatever reason. I’m Autistic & ADHD so I can sympathize with that but she could have asked LMAO. I CANNOT stress enough that as soon as my butt was out of my seat she quite literally lunged for it like we were the finalists in a game of Musical Chairs & the prize was one million dollars