WE’RE LOOKED AS KIND OF GODS HERE.

“Are you sure?”

Carson looked at the blonde walking next to her and smiled, adjusting her position to accommodate Mia, who was perched on her side and not saying much as she leaned against her mom's shoulder. 

“Yes, Steph,” she replied, then stopped. "Go. Celebrate with the Team Canada girls; you deserve it. I’m sure Mitch will be looking for you. We’ll be okay.”

“I know, but,” Steph started, then trailed off. “I guess I just got used to the thought that we’d be celebrating a championship for our guys together. Not that they’d be against each other during it.”

Carson nodded sadly, knowingly, then shook her head as she glanced down at her Team USA hockey jacket.

“Me too. But, it was just for tonight. You know I’m loyal to Canada, but I'm also loyal to my partner and he just lost a big game. We go back to being on the same side tomorrow.”

“Of course.”

Steph gently put her hand on Carson’s arm and squeezed reassuringly, before pulling her and Mia into a hug.

“You’re sure you’re ok if I go?” Steph asked again, giving them an extra squeeze. 

“Yes, I promise,” Carson assured as she returned the hug. “I’ve already texted Mitchy, but congratulate him for me again. We’re going to find Auston.”

“Ok, I will. I’ll see you two in a bit. Tell Auston he played great.”

“I will. Now go.”

“Ok, I’m going. Bye, Miss Meems. Love you.”

“Bye-bye, Stephy, love youuuu,” Mia waved to her godmother tiredly as Steph gave Carson one last questioning glance before stepping away from them. 

When Carson said nothing else but continued to smile, Steph nodded and went on her way. 

Carson watched her friend dodge the people, mainly employees and family members of Team Canada and USA, flooding into the lower hallways of TD Garden. She couldn’t help but smile at the Canadian flag stitched on the back of the red leather jacket Steph wore before she disappeared out of sight, feeling an immense sense of pride and happiness for the guys representing the country she was from following their win at the 4 Nations Face-Off. 

She grew up a Canadian hockey fan. Like so many others, Carson had idolized Sidney Crosby for as long as she could remember. Mitch, her cousin and best friend was also part of that winning team, which made it even more special. Canada winning was something that, given any other circumstance, she’d absolutely be celebrating.

However, the man Carson loved was the captain of the team that just lost to the Canadians. She had more ambivalence about this situation than she ever knew possible.

With a sigh, she looked back at Mia and adjusted her higher onto her hip.

“Well, little miss, I think we should go find your daddy,” she suggested.

“Yeah, we see Daddy,” Mia replied nodding, making Carson smile again before she kissed the top of the three-year-old's head and began walking again.

As a lifelong Leafs fan, Carson knew TD Garden was a daunting arena to play hockey in. She’d experienced it as a fan of the opposing team, but this time was entirely different.

Despite how much Carson mentally prepared herself for the 4 Nations Face-Off, she’d be a liar if she said she wasn’t exhausted by all of it. Of course, she knew the entire ordeal was an incredible thing to be able to witness and be a part of. Carson was extremely thankful for the experience, but she also had a nagging thought telling her she was in over her head thinking she’d be able to navigate it all. The Auston and Team USA loss was the unfortunate icing on top of the cake. 

The past week was the first time Carson had travelled with both babies since she and Auston brought them from Phoenix to Toronto in late summer. Mia, at just three years old, was fairly used to flying, at least. Carter, on the other hand, was not. Given that the youngest member of the Matthews family wasn’t quite nine months old yet, Carter wasn’t as versed on travel as his older sister was. He hadn’t even experienced an entire hockey season living in Toronto yet, and despite being so young, had already shown his parents how much of a homebody and creature of habit he was.  

Which was why only Mia and Carson were at the game that night.

Carter also made the trip to Montreal and Boston with his family, but an 8pm start game on top of being away from home for over a week was too much for the infant. Thankfully, Carson’s brother Nate and his girlfriend Claire met up with the Matthews family in Montreal to help out with the kids. Nate and Claire stayed at the hotel with Carter, babysitting so Carson could attend each of Team USA’s games with Mia to cheer on Auston alongside his parents.

Carson was ridiculously nervous about having someone else watch Carter, even if it was only for a few hours each night Team USA played. It was in no offence to her brother and his girlfriend by any means, either. They were both high on the list of people she and Auston trusted to watch their babies. But, this tournament was also the first time Carson was away from her son for a prolonged time since he was born. 

Given the hecticness that occurred when Carter was born with a health scare for both mom and baby, followed by a rough postpartum healing period and a few doctor’s visits in the months after, it was understandable for Carson and Carter to have separation anxiety from each other. This tournament was a test of that, but it was a step Carson wanted to take for herself. She could’ve easily stayed home with Mia and Carter in Toronto while Auston left for a week, but Carson decided to push herself. She wanted to get out of her comfort zone for Mia and Auston, who were also still adjusting to the changes in their lives that a new family member brought on just like her. The 4 Nations Face-Off was important to Auston and Carson wanted to be there.

Having Nate and Claire willing to help out made it all possible.

The first night Carson and Mia headed to the Bell Centre in Montreal to watch Team USA with Auston’s parents while Nate and Claire stayed at the hotel with Carter wasn't easy. Carter was fussy and there was a point where Nate had to text his sister asking where something was. Carson immediately assumed the worst. She didn’t know what was happening at the hotel but knew the item Nate was looking for was a comfort item of Carter’s and that he must’ve been upset if Nate needed to find it. She tried her best not to worry and make it through the remainder of the game but still felt anxious and debated taking Mia back to the hotel despite it only being the 1st intermission. 

Luckily, that didn’t need to happen. About five minutes after Carson texted Nate, he responded with a picture of Carter asleep in Claire’s arms saying all was well. The game nights that Carter was watched by his uncle and aunt following that first one went smoothly too. So smooth that there was no hesitation regarding them joining the Matthews family in Boston to continue helping.  

Carson and Auston were incredibly thankful to Nate and Claire as the trips to both cities wouldn’t have been possible without them. And wouldn't have eventually led to the night of the final USA vs. Canada matchup at TD Garden where Carson and Mia watched together.

It was strange but amazing for Carson to be part of the type of fans crowding the stands that night. It was the first time she’d ever cheered for anything regarding the USA and sports, especially hockey. She and Auston didn’t know each other the last time he represented Team USA in early 2016. They met that October after he’d begun playing on the Leafs alongside Mitch. This was also the first time she watched her husband and cousin compete against each other instead of being on the same team.

Growing up a Canadian hockey fan, going into this, Carson knew the rivalry between Canada and the USA ran deep. She loved that the 4 Nations tournament sparked excitement in that contention again, but she was conflicted. She wanted Canada to win but also wanted Auston to win. Unfortunately, caring for both sides meant one would lose either way. In this case, the losing side was her husband, and she needed to be there for him.

In the moments following Canada scoring the winning goal in overtime, Carson observed Auston from the stands, already being able to tell how this loss wasn’t an easy one for him. His expression said all she needed to know and it made Carson’s heart ache for the man she loved most.

There were a few moments of silence between Carson and Auston’s parents from where they sat next to her after that final goal horn. Their quietness was only broken when Mia looked up from where she sat on Ema’s lap and asked why her daddy was sad after the cameras showed him on the big screen. The camera displayed how he watched as Team Canada celebrated at the other end of the ice looking utterly defeated. While Mia watched, Brian explained that Auston didn’t win, which made her expression turn from curiosity to concern.

As both teams began forming lines to shake hands, Carson’s in-laws noticed her gazing at one section over where most of the families of Team Canada were celebrating with each other. Amongst the Sea of Canada supporters were members of Carson’s family. Her aunt, uncle, cousin and Steph were all there cheering for Mitch and the rest of the team. Carson was happy for them and Mitch, she really was, but when she looked back at Auston on the ice, she felt sadness all over again.

Ema suggested Carson and Mia go over to them, reminding Carson she was still allowed to be happy about the outcome and that she should let herself have a moment of celebration with the others. Carson was hesitant to do so, but Auston’s parents insisted she go and said they’d meet her and Mia downstairs.

As Carson made her way, carrying Mia to the next section, she was met by Lauren Kyle McDavid who pulled them in for a quick hug before helping them through the crowd so they could get to the Marner family and celebrate.

Eventually, Carson and Mia ended up with Steph in the lower parts of TD Garden before parting ways. However, as they walked through some more hallways together to find Auston, Carson became painfully aware that she had no idea where she was going and started wondering if she should ask for help.

Carson continued walking, still unsure which way she was headed but tried to stay out of other people's way as she passed them. Once she ended up in a completely unfamiliar hallway, she stopped and let out a huff of frustration.

"Mia, I think we might be lost," Carson spoke quietly, making Mia look at her questioningly.

"Where Daddy?" Mia asked, her little brows furrowing as she glanced around the unfamiliar area.

"That's what I'm trying to figure out, bub."

“Mrs. Matthews?”

Carson jumped slightly when a voice hesitantly spoke up from behind her. She didn’t recognize who was speaking, but given the formal way they addressed her, Carson knew she didn’t know them. So, she turned around to face them and smiled politely.

“Oh, hi, yes, hello,” Carson stumbled over her words when she encountered what seemed to be a mother and her children, she assumed given the resemblance between them all. The children's ages ranged from a boy in maybe his preteens to two girls in their late teens or early twenties. They all wore Team USA merch.

“Sorry to bother you,” the woman greeted kindly. “But you seem a little lost. If you’re looking for the area strictly for players' families, it’s this hallway back here.”

Carson smiled wider and shook her head as the lady pointed to a nearby hallway she walked past moments before.

“It’s that obvious I have no idea where I’m going, eh?”

“No! Not at all! Well, maybe a little. The way you were headed leads back to the main concourse, which I assumed you weren’t looking for. We’re Bruins season ticket holders, so we know our way around. We’ve seen a few NHL family members make the same mistake down here. It gets confusing.”

“Always a plus knowing your way around these kind of places,” Carson replied. “Thank you for letting me know before I got even more lost.”

“Of course,” the woman said, smiling then glanced at her kids.

However, before the woman could say anything else, one of her daughters spoke up.

“Are you really Carson Matthews?” She asked. “Like you’re married to THE Auston Matthews?”

“Jess!” The older girl of the three kids gasped, her eyes widening. “You can’t just ask her that.”

“What? We were all wondering about it. Mom wasn’t even sure it was her before she said anything.”

“Jessica, I should’ve sent you to go get the car with your father,” the woman sighed, shaking her head. Then she looked at Carson again. “Please ignore my child. Sometimes, she doesn’t have a filter.”

“It’s alright,” Carson chuckled, observing as the two sisters bickered while their younger brother watched. They reminded Carson a lot of her relationships with her sister and brother. “But to answer your question, yes, I am that Carson. And this is my daughter, Mia. We were just going to see Auston, hoping to cheer him up after the loss.”

Carson glanced at Mia, who’d been quiet the entire interaction while leaning against her mom's shoulder, observing the family of strangers. Mia remained silent but didn’t seem uncomfortable as she began mindlessly fiddling with the collar of Carson’s puffer jacket.

“Woah,” the son said. “That’s so cool.”

“Well, we mustn't keep you then,” the woman stated, smiling again. “It was a tough loss, but Auston played great. We loved seeing him repping the USA.”

“Me too, even as a Canadian,” Carson replied.

“Even though he’s a Leaf, Matthews is one of my favourite players,” the boy spoke, earning slight scowls from his mom and oldest sister.

“Marner and Nylander are mine,” the middle sister chimed in.

“Oh, my god, you’re all so embarrassing,” groaned the oldest sister. “She literally knows all of them.”

Carson laughed when their mother sent her an exhausted look.

“Marner and Nylander are Mia’s favourite Leafs too,” Carson told them, unable to keep a straight face as she laughed. “But we can’t say that to her dad, he’ll be butthurt.”

Everyone laughed with her.

"Well, it was lovely to meet you," the woman replied after a moment, smiling softly. "Please do make sure Auston doesn't beat himself up too much over this loss. He really was such a joy to watch and cheer for, for once."

"Yeah, I'm saving up to get his USA jersey!" The boy stated excitedly, making Carson's heart swell with pride.

"Is that so?" Carson asked, smiling again as the boy nodded. "I think that's a pretty great jersey to own. But, want to know what else I think would look cool with it?"

The boy nodded again.

"Yeah!"

"This."

Carson reached into her purse and grabbed the Team USA hockey puck that Auston signed residing inside of it, to show the boy. No, she didn't normally carry around things Auston signed. During one of the off days in Montreal a week prior, Auston spent some of the afternoon signing items for the NHLPA. When he met Carson, Mia and Carter afterwards, he tossed Carson a puck and teasingly told her it might be worth something one day. Rolling her eyes, Carson put the puck in her purse and didn't think anymore about it.

Each time she opened the purse, she was reminded it was there, but she kept forgetting to take it out. It wasn't until they were away from the hotel again that she realized it was still there. However, seeing how the boy's face lit up when he saw the puck made Carson very happy about not remembering to take it out of her purse earlier that evening.

“Woah,” the boy gasped, his eyes widening. “That’s Matthews’ autograph!”

“It is,” Carson confirmed with a nod, then handed him the puck. “And I think he’d want you to have it."

"Really!?"

"Of course. But it's the only one I've got on me, so you'll have to share it with your sisters."

"Thank you, Mrs! Guys, look."

The three kids huddled together as they observed the puck. Soon they began discussing who would have custody of the item to display in their room, but their mother added her two cents about that first.

"Brave for any of you to assume your father won't be finding a way to have that framed," the woman said, chuckling, then looked back to Carson. "Thank you so much. You didn't have to do that."

"I know," Carson responded. "But I wanted to.”

“You’re very kind, Carson. Kids, what do you say to her?”

“Thank you!” The two daughters said in unison.

“Thank you so much,” the boy exclaimed and before Carson knew it, he was rushing towards her to wrap his arms around her middle in a hug.

The boy's mom gasped and went to say something to him, but Carson mouthed that it was ok, grinning widely as she tried her best to return the gesture with her free arm that wasn't carrying Mia. After a quick embrace, the boy moved away before returning to his mother and sisters, still beaming.

"You're very welcome," Carson responded, then glanced at Mia who was looking up at her, blinking tiredly. "But, we better get going. Our family is probably wondering where we've gone off to."

"Of course," the woman replied. "Thank you again for being so sweet, it means a lot."

Before parting ways, the woman gave Carson the directions of where to find the area for families again, before she and Mia headed on their way.

It didn't take Carson much longer to find where they needed to go after that, and as she rounded one final corner and spotted some significant others and family members of Team USA, she knew she was in the right place.

"Mommy, I want Daddy," Mia pouted, then sighed.

Carson glanced around for any sign of Auston or his parents and also sighed when she couldn’t spot them.

“I know, baby,” Carson hummed in response. “He’s gotta be here somewhere.”

“Carson,” a female voice called, making Carson turn to see Odette, Zach Werenski’s fiancée, smiling as she walked toward her and Mia. "And Miss Mia. I was wondering where you girls went off to."

Carson grinned back and Mia greeted her excitedly.

Since Auston was the only Leafs player on Team USA, the wives and girlfriends of the other guys on the team were a group Carson wasn't familiar with. She'd met a couple of the girls a few times before but didn't know any of them very well. Being one of the first players announced to represent the USA on top of also being the Captain's wife, Carson knew she wouldn't be the only girl in that group who didn't really know anyone else and was set on ensuring none of them felt out of place.

Once the entire USA roster was finalized, Carson got to work on connecting with the girls who would also be cheering on their guys during the tournament. As a Canadian, Carson was the first to admit she had no idea where to start when it came to repping the USA. She was happy to listen to suggestions and ideas from the other girls regarding plans for things like where to go for a group dinner before one of the games and design ideas for their matching jackets. They all got along very well with each other and Carson was glad she was able to develop a relationship with other player's significant others from around the league.

Odette was one of the girls she really hit it off with. The two of them grew quite close over the two-week tournament to the point that even Mia grew a bit of an attachment to the Blue Jackets star defenseman's fiancée.

"Hey," Carson greeted. "Sorry, I know, we kinda disappeared. I got a little lost after going to see my family and some of the Canadian girls."

"Not surprising," Odette chuckled. "This place feels like a labyrinth. I would've been lost without Alessandra and Kiley."

"Honestly. They were godsends with their recommendations and help around Boston."

"I'm sure you two would've given us the same hospitality had we all been in Toronto or Columbus," another female voice chimed in. It was Alessandra, who was standing nearby with the Swayman family.

"Exactly," stated Kiley, as she walked by. Despite Charlie, her husband, being injured during an earlier game and the two of them welcoming their son just a couple of weeks before the tournament began, Kiley still was very involved and even made the time to watch the final game.

"Yeah, I can give real good tips on how not to be jump scared by the cannon in Columbus too, if you need it," Odette teased, making everyone who was nearby laugh, before she looked back at Carson and Mia. "I assume you're both looking for Auston."

"We are," Carson replied. "Have you seen him?"

"Not yet, but the guys should start coming out here any minute now. Come wait with me and Zach's family so you're not standing over here alone."

Carson smiled at Odette in thanks, then followed her to where the Werenski family was standing.

While they waited, Carson chatted with Zach's family about the game as well as their travel plans about flying back home since the regular NHL season would be resuming in the coming days. Odette wasted no time taking Mia from Carson, holding her as they stood there talking, which Mia sure wasn't opposed to.

After about five minutes, guys from the team began trickling into the area all of their families were waiting. When Zach approached them, Carson told him how great he played before giving Odette a quick hug and taking Mia back so they wouldn't interfere with their family regrouping.

A few more minutes passed, and Carson observed the girls she'd spent so much time planning and coordinating with over the past almost two months, who immediately became a rock for their guys. They were all there, ready and willing to pick up the pieces following such a devastating loss. It was a notion Carson was all too familiar with and she smiled fondly while watching the other girls, knowing they were all just one big support system.

"Mama," Mia said as she lifted her head from Carson's shoulder and patted her arm. "Look! It's Daddy."

Carson's gaze immediately followed where Mia was pointing further down the hallway and there was Auston, entering the area with his parents not far behind. His warm brown eyes met hers instantly and he smiled sadly. Compared to when he left the hotel earlier that day, his deep blue suit and hair sticking out from under his beanie were way more dishevelled. He looked utterly beat and Carson's feet began taking her towards him without a second thought.

"It sure is, baby," Carson told Mia as she stepped around the other families. "Do you want to go get him?"

"Yeah!"

Knowing exactly what that meant, Carson stopped briefly to set Mia down on the ground and watched as she sprinted towards her dad as fast as her little legs could take her. Auston's expression noticeably lit up as he watched Mia approach. Once she was close enough, he grinned widely and crouched down so that she could run into his arms. He wasted no time scooping her up and Carson continued toward them, feeling emotionally at the way Mia snuggled right into him.

"What are you still doing up, Mini?" Auston asked, looking at their toddler with a stern gaze. "It's way past your bedtime."

"She had her headphones on and everything, but was too focused on the game and forced herself to stay up," Carson explained as she approached them.

"I see," Auston replied, then he looked at Carson, and his gaze softened again. "Hey, you."

"Hey," she greeted, then, without another word, crashed into him and hugged him tightly. He held her just as tight with his arm that wasn't holding Mia. "I’m so proud of you, Auston, and I’m sorry it didn’t end the way you were hoping. How are you? Are you ok?"

After asking him if he was ok, Carson leaned back to look up at her husband with a serious expression. It was no secret that Auston had been dealing with an injury for most of the season. He missed quite a few games for the Leafs because of it and even received treatment overseas in hopes of making it more manageable. The details of the injury weren’t public knowledge but of course, Carson knew. She was very aware of how much he was pushing himself to be there for his team and take part in the 4 Nations Tournament, which had her constantly worried.

“Yes, Carse, I’m fine,” he replied, not expanding on any details. However, the look on his face said otherwise.

“Auston-.”

“I know, babe. I know. I’m not trying to stress you out, I promise. Let’s talk about it after we leave.”

“Ok, as long as you’re alright,” Carson responded, then squeezed him again. She knew he’d talk to her more about everything without so many people around.

Auston kissed the top of her head, then turned his attention to Mia.

"Did you have a fun night with Mommy?" He asked.

"Yeah," she nodded, then her expression turned serious. "Daddy, you didn't win."

Carson's mouth fell open in shock at her abruptness, then she looked at Brian and Ema, who also seemingly didn't know what to say regarding Mia's response.

Auston, naturally, handled it like a champ. He exhaled calmly and held their daughter's gaze.

"What was that, bub?"

"You didn't win."

Auston shook his head, the slightest smile tugging at his lips.

"I didn't?"

"No… My Mitchy winned."

"Mia, honey," Carson started because she didn't want Mia to make the loss more challenging, unintentionally, but stopped when Auston glanced at her again.

"It's ok," he assured before looking back at Mia. "You're right, your Mitchy did win."

"Is that who wanted to win, Mimi?" Carson asked.

Mia shook her head.

"I didn't want Mitchy to win," she answered.

"That's alright," Auston told her, smiling. "We can be happy for Mitchy."

The two of them looked at each other for a moment while Mia just blinked, then she wrapped her arms around her dad's neck in a hug.

"You want Whaley, Daddy?"

Auston chuckled and began rubbing her back.

"Would you like me to have Whaley?"

Mia nodded and stayed leaning against Auston.

"I've got him," Ema spoke, then pulled Mia's whale plushie out of her bag and handed it to Carson.

"Leave it to our kid to be the one humbling you after a game like that," Carson said as she passed Whaley to Auston.

"The only better than her at humbling me is her mother," Auston teased, making Carson roll her eyes.

"I don't think anyone would expect anything less from your two's child," Brian said, chuckling.

"Good thing she's cute," Carson stated then winked at Mia, who smiled cheekily before hiding against her dad's shoulder.

"Got that right," Auston agreed, noticeably in better spirits than when first reuniting with his girls in that hallway. "Well, I think we should head back to the hotel since a little guy is waiting there for us. What do you say, Mini?"

"Uncle Natey?" Mia asked, perking right up again.

"Not who I was thinking of. But, yeah, Uncle Nate is there too."

"One of these days she'll actually be excited about seeing her baby brother," Carson sighed. "Nate is tough competition, I suppose."

"That's alright, more loving on Carter for me," Ema said, smiling.

"Shall we?" Auston asked Carson while holding his arm out to loop hers through.

"Lead the way," she replied while looping her arm with his, then leaned against his shoulder as they began walking together.