LOVE BE BRAVE

Not for nowt, mate, but ye wastin’ ye breath. Been here for a fair few years now, so I think I know my way ‘round well enough.

Ye ought to give yourself more credit, Marls. You’ll be bringing Maggie, won’t ye? No vote can stand in a competition with the likes of that. The bairn’ll save ye from mum’s fawning and save me from ye subsequent fury  — which I’ve always found a great deal deadlier, if I’m to be honest.

Don’t ye worry about me and mum’s wrath, alright? I’ve been well-trained in how to deal with it since the time I was near five years old. She’ll just have to come to terms with the fact that her eldest has got his hands plenty full. And I’d be shite company anyway, what with the vote this Friday.

A vote, is it? Mum’d hardly be angry, then. Just spend the entire time fawnin’ over ye while you’re not there. Michael this, Michael tha’. Maybe it’s my wrath you ought t’be worrying about. That’s enough t’drive anyone mental. 

As much as I would like to go, I’m not sure I’ll be able to carve out the time for it.

Likely bloody story, tosser. What could possibly be more important? Ye do know you’re going t’have to face mum’s wrath, yeah?