Lately, I keep sighing deeply. And it's not because of positive reasons. I'm feeling down and I hate it. I fucking hate it. It's too much. I knew, long before, that considering a possibly that something good might have happened, will result to me being like this... I knew that wishful thinking will lead me to nowhere but I still went on. And just like a snap, I'm lost and feeling low. I think I've allowed myself too much when I thought and assumed stuff. I keep saying I'm a realist but now, I just feel a total hypocrite. I keep making fun of idealists but it turned out that I was just making fun of my reflection. A reflection I refused to accept that is present in me.Β
But now,Β I'll just stop before I can even start. Screw those books I read. Things found in there are non-existent. You can call me the kill-joy, bitter person that I am, but I won't give a fuck. I've been carrying too much load already it's hard to continue without over-analyzing stuff. It's like I know what Atlas feels with him carrying the world behind his back and all. But don't get me wrong, I know others have it harder than me but hey, we're all different persons. It's just that, life's pretty rough on me lately. I might as well turn into a stone a ignore everything, physical and emotional wise.
Ah screw this. I know writing/typing/spilling this will not make a difference, but it did made the load lighter.
κ·Έλ΄ κ²λλ€... μμ κ²λλ€...
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