Life: Today, Yesterday and Tomorrow

And, it kills me. I think I’m the last person I know who is actually interested in a relationship who’s never been in one...

I wish it was like before, you went out, met people, and if someone was interested they would say something. The golden era of romance is gone. Even in the movies rom-coms have been subdued to melodramas or overly sexualized content. 

Where are the good old tales of innocent romance? Where can I find my true love? Why can’t I sigh of butterflies in my stomach at any recent movie or tv show? 

Outside of asian dramas, I can’t find this content in today’s media. Even good old love songs are now filled with explicit language and sexual innuendos. I’m not a prude nor can I not utter a curse word. But, I feel like there should still be the opportunity for romance to fill the air more than sex, drugs, and alcohol. Don’t you?

This is a great song for the feels btw:

I can’t believe how much I’ve missed online. For a hermit who loves the internet, I’m really out of it. So many updates on every social media site. I lost my 1 follower! 

But, that’s what happens when you don’t post anything.

Anywhooooo, I am in the christmas spirit; so, I’ll host a giveaway.

I’m going to give out a secret to the first 5 people to like this post and reblog it. Now, I’m a very important and famous person (which you can tell by my lack of followers and money to buy followers), so holding one of my secrets in your hands is a big deal.

I mean, I have no confidante! Maybe the fact that I use words like confidante has something to do with it. Nonetheless, I’ll keep my promise!

Scouts Honor! Not, that I was ever really a scout. But I always wanted to...

Alright, my hands are freezing in this cold and deserted library. Now that school’s out, nobody comes by. Except me! *NERD*

No, voice in my head! I am not that nerdy, I just lack the funds to have wifi at home! #collegestruggle

But, I got a scholarship, so I’ll finally buy the new hair elastics I’ve been needing. Of course, I won’t see any of that until January, and most of it will go for my tuition, but I think I can spare a dollar. If not, I’ll go exchange the piggy I have full of pennies. Hopefully, that is enough to cover tax too; it’s a really tiny pig.

I keep going on tangents, as per usual, so I’ll leave while I still can. No wait another sentence is coming to mind. Once I start typing it’s hard to stop. Maybe I should have been an English major. That way I wouldn’t have Schrodinger’s Equation in my final! Or the Bessel function, curse you Bessel function, I would say I’ll kill the guy who came up with those, but I think I’m too late for that. Turns out Modern Physics, is Physics from the 20th century. Considering, it has been another century for almost two decades, it’s not too recent.

Hey there, .....Delilah.... lol

So, I just have not posted anything for a while, but I was wrapping up school I just have finals these next two weeks. But, they are only 4 classes and they’re all pretty far apart. However I’m also moving soon too. My room continues to be a mess mainly because I’m so overwhelmed by everything else that I don’t want to clean up. Does anybody else ever feel like that? I don’t know if I’m just like clinically depressed or something like that and just haven’t been diagnosed, but I want to do things, like clean my room and study but as soon as I start I feel so exhausted. Like I've been cleaning and or studying for days or hours. So much to do... But, whenever I try it just makes me over tired. I’m healthy,so that’s not it. I try drinking coffee or eating candy but it has no effect. I've given up! Later today I have my Theatre final, for which i haven’t started to study :S So in the meantime, I’ll leave you with pictures of babies playing pianos. (Today is the 360th birthday of he inventor of the piano!)

Everyone tells you that after he nightmare of highschool these will forever be the best years of your life. You will make friendships that will last a lifetime! Well it completely sucks when those expectations are not met.

I have been a University/ College student for 3 years now. I have attended 2 Universities and 1 Community College and my experience remains the same. I guess that the fun and games don’t apply if you don’t live on campus and/or have a car. They should give you a warning. Like “Hey, heads up! If you don’t live on campus, not only will you continue to be foreveralone nobody will want to talk to you!” Because honestly, unless you are smoking hot nobody really approaches you on campus if they don’t know you. And, if you don’t live on campus and attend parties and such it is hard to meet people.

I am not only refering to people coming up to you with dating in mind. Because I’m in a happy and commited relationship with Dal - Po, my laptop. But, I would like to have a few friends to eat lunch with or to hang out with on the weekends or to trash talk teachers with. I mean, come on! Someone who can catch me up if I get late to class. Anything!!!

I live in Texas and there is plenty of southern hospitality in the streets but walk into campus and you are a ghost. The sad part is that is you’re a 6′1″ ghost people will look at you like you’re ET but will continue to ignore your existance as you pass them by. I have started conversations with a few strangers like before or after a class, but they never remember my name or try to talk to me ever again. Is it just me that’s so weird that NOBODY is willing to be near me?

I could go on forever with this topic and how dissapointing it is to have high expectations, but I think I’ll just make this into several individual shorter posts.

If you are interested in more tales and things I hate about college life follow my blog! :)

For now since it’s nearly noon where I am, and I’m getting hungry, I’ll leave you with a picture of a cute snack I bought a while back from an organization fundraiser here on campus.

Sorry, we got off on the wrong foot yesterday. Hi, I have been around tumblr since almost its beggining but, I just recently decided to utilize it as a blog, an outlet for all that goes on in my head. Tust me there’s a lot up there! 

Anywho, Hi! How are ya?

You can call me Mari. I will be making a random post every day on this blog, two or maybe even three if I’m really feeling ranty. 

;P

I also have a page in this blog dedicated to my DAILY SKETCH JOURNAL.

That is something I picked up this passed weekend. I picked up the journal at my university’s B&N and decided to start sketching on it. So, I will be posting pictures of my daily sketches on that page, updating it daily as soon as I draw that day’s entry. Mainly in case something happens to it, which with my luck is very possible that something will. 

I guess my description says even more about me, but I’ll try to add more about me through my posts.

Hopefully you enjoy this blog!

Have a lovely day/night!

Here’s a picture of my breakfast:

I am stressed. I’ve been stressed for years. Stress gives me migranes which don’t allow me to focus or get anything done. Guess what that gives me? That’s right, more stress! 

Don’t you hate when people older than you tell you that they have real problems and so much stress to deal with!

I do!, A- It’s not my fault.

B- I am not supposed to have the same stress they do because 1) we’re different people who make different choices and 2) this is the type of stress I’m meant to go through at this stage in life and it is enough for me. 

C- I also worry about their stress and their problems which causes me anxiety and frustration as well. 

So, don’t tell me you have more stress than I do because I carry with my own stress and yours as well.

If you get mad at me because some external thing did not work properly when I had no control over it. It’s not stress, you just don’t understand how life works, or even technology for that matter.

I hate people who think just because they are older than you, they automatically know more than you do. Or think that everything that comes out of them is right or pure wisedom. Well I think some of that is pure BS. 

Physical Age does not equal mental age. There are a lot of people that may be old in years but have not grown over 5 years old mentally. If you have the mentality of a 5 year old with the responsabilities of a 50 year old who lived all his adult life thinking he was still 16. You have much bigger problems than getting mad because your 20 year old daughter did not have phone service inside the library in her university she was waiting in for you to come pick her up. Waiting 10 minutes because she did not receive a single phone call you made should not make you angry.

Also it doesn’t help when they offer irrelevant solutions to future outcomes of the same situation. Like: it’s fine, just let me know next time that you’re going to take longer. Sure dad, next time I’ll call you and say: “Hey dad, yeah, I think my cell connection is not going to want to work starting in 5 seconds for about 10 minutes, so please wait for me to get it back.” Because THAT makes perfect sense!

ARGH!!!!

Seriously, it’s not like I didn’t pick up because I was hanging out with my friends ignoring his call. I have no friends. 

I would also like to add that this frustrates me even more, because he woke me up with a phone call at 6:50 am today. I had to go deposit money to the bank, so he called to ask what time he should come pick me up, 8, 8:30, 9. So I said 9. Because, my classes today didn’t start until 2:30pm so it was a waste of time to be at school so early. So he said “fine” reluctantly. Then I went back to “sleep” more like just lying in my bed making shapes out of the relief of the paint on my wall until 7:45am. I then showered, changed, brushed my teeth and got everything ready in my backpack. I was waiting with my headphones on. And I waited... And waited... 9:20... I call him “When are you coming?” “Oh, I’m just finishing this match give me 10 minutes.” “OK”

...10 am...

“Dad, are you almost here?”

“Oh, they just dropped me off, can I shower first?”

“Sure, call me when you get here”

...10:50...

I’m irritated because I could have slept more! and my migrane is coming back! My WIFI was also down, so I couldn’t get any schoolwork done. Now my stress is increased, because I don’t know if time will duffice now for me to get all my work done.

“Dad, almost???”

“Be there in 2.5 mins”

“OK”

I walk outside.

10:55

I pace from one side of the block to the other with my backpack on.

11:02 I see the car approaching.

I waited two hours, but remained calm.

I said good morning, I made small talk, went to the bank swiftly and got out of the car fast at school even saying “bye, take care”.

And you yell and get pissed off because for 10 minutes you were parked in the university I didn’t answer the phone because I didn’t have a signal? I showed him my phone which showed no missed calls. So, it wasn’t that I purposefully ignored his calls, but rather they didn’t go through at all. 

And saying just let me know you’ll take longer next time just gets me angry. I wasn’t taking longer. I wasn’t doing anything. I was looking at snapchat and listening to music. Next time, I’ll sit under the sun with my eyes fixed on the road until you get there to pik me up to avoid the situation!

Or actually, now I’ll just take the bus everywhere. I don’t have to rely on you and i don’t have to be a liability anymore. 

Am I crazy? Or am I really just immature and incomprehensive as he says?

Or am I right, and he’s the one being silly and immature?

It’s not just my father though a lot of older adults seem to think that just because they have been a legal adult longer than you, their opinions and actions are always the right ones. I feel a Matilda flashback coming on for some reason...

On top of my crazy family, I have a bunch of projects due this week. A play to go see during the weekend for class. Tests the following week. And finals the week after that. I also have to apply for a scholarship that week. And then I only have a break for a week and then I start working my internship for the summer, and the last week of the internship I start my summer mini semester. Followed by an 18hr fall semester where I’ll have classes every day of the week from 8am until 6pm. And I have to get involved with a research project and teach middle school during that semester. I won’t see a single penny of my internship money because along with Financial Aid and the possible scholarship it’s all going towards tuition and books.

Is that enough stress, or should I add more, because trust me there is a lot more. Mainly when I call home with my mom and sibblings. 

His only worry is work and dumb people who don’t show up to wokr on time. I make my food. I clean my apartment. I’m making money for my college tuition which is not cheap. Or finding means to pay for it through scholarships which require me to put in extra work.

Who really has it worst? Do I, not have stress as well? How is that reasoning to blow up because my cellphone did not receive his phone calls because the reception was bad? How does asking for a heads up make me feel better? Honestly, it makes me wheep for society because I know he’s not the only one out there like that. 

So if you have ever faced someone like this. Or a similar situation has brought you down. Do what I did put on your headphones and sing along softly or to the top of your lungs; whichever you prefer, or can do. And remember, one day, you’ll live among intelligent lifeforms that think like you. Or think about puppies... Puppies are cute! Here’s one to brighten your day/night: