about love

we were there young and naive casting around for real love you were uttering it you had affection in the heart that i needed to hear but i avoided to listen

we shared a song or two we spoke of our thoughts we were exactly where we wanted to be you got me carried away you got me lost in the sweetest way there was

it's 11 pm on a tuesday night the lights are dim and the music is gentle and i'm drowning in my elusive thought of the idea of you

as someone who feels everything so deeply, my heart won’t stop wandering. anxiety and worries develop along the way, and i often find myself being overwhelmed with painful thoughts and dreadful imaginations.

He is the guy whose scent is like no other--giving me pure tranquility that I’ve been craving all my life. The guy who listens while looking right into my eyes, and giving me a sense of comfort like that I’ve never felt before. The guy who’s curious about my deepest problems and concerns, and would do literally anything to bring me back to happiness. The guy who’s seen the ugliest and darkest part of me, yet still continues to love me harder and giving me compassion like no one has ever done. The guy who sometimes love me more than I love myself. The guy with whom I have been able to unravel my true self, slowly but surely. The guy who’s always been gentle with my soul, and always speaks to it wholeheartedly. The guy who constantly challenges me to be better. The guy whose hugs I can’t never get enough of. The guy whose forehead kisses always remind me of my father’s--deep and genuine. The guy I’ve ever truly loved, and with whom I would love to spend the rest of my life.

Being in love surely turns you into someone different, like being able to pour out this kind of exaggerating thoughts at a random time, a random place. It might sound cliche, but when you find real love, believe me, you’ll just know, and it would give you much imagination and abilities you’ve never expected to have--only to show the world a kind of love you’ve never come across before.

Sepasang sejoli bertemu Menelusuri jalan yang hampa Yang tak berhujung Namun Apa daya kehambaran tersebut Jika mereka termakan oleh cinta?

Sepasang sejoli bertemu Menatap dalam benih mata Seakan-akan cinta mereka Tak akan dilumatkan oleh kepiluan

Sepasang sejoli bertemu Ditelan oleh waktu Tak berbekal rasa paham Bahwa kisah mereka Akan dirampas oleh jarak

Sepasang sejoli bertemu Dengan hati dan jiwa yang rapuh Hanya untuk larut Dalam pahit dan pedih

Menerawang langit kelabu hari ini Sepertinya senja hadir dengan resah Sesampainya bisikkan angin di telinga Membawaku ke dalam kehanyutan

Keras kepala ini berpikir Apakah jauh mimpiku tersebut Yang hanya sekedar ingin melihat senyum di wajahmu?

Aku duduk terdiam Berkali-kali bersimpangan dengan pertanda Bahwa Kebahagiaan tersebut terus memanggil namaku

Forever ago.

I stumbled upon myself joining the bitterness of love. My heart was paralyzed; my conscience was distorted. Something about it made me realize the blindside of my soul. Forever ago.

The rain fell down like never before. I kept reassuring myself that this was bound to happen. I was overwhelmed by constant fear and doubts. You happened to feel right- you were the one.

Forever ago.

I felt home but I had no clue. I sensed comfort but I was insecure. It was such fierce feelings, until you brought me into my demise.

Forever ago.

Love was hard. Love was wicked. Love was everything that I had never wanted.

Forever ago.

The truth is- Human nature desires non-sense things all the time. We often find ourselves trapped in the midst of long-winded thoughts about love. Those “what-ifs” and absurd expectations keep popping up in our heads. Just for once, we would love to break free- to have absolute peace in our shivery hearts.

The truth is- Love makes us vulnerable. It makes us defenseless- it does not allow us to make the most of our own reasoning. We are to risk our hearts, or even our own lives, once we dive into the feeling of love. When we start realizing this, it makes perfect sense why we are condemned in the first place.

The truth is- Protecting ourselves is a kind of crap we’ll never be able to do when being in love. It makes us lose our minds, it makes us change our perception. It gets us lost, it breaks our hearts, it eliminates our sense of direction in life.

You are the morning light I will always wake up to. You are the story I will always tell. You are the music I will always sing. You are the risk I will always take. You are the soul I will always crave.

There’s so much more in us, rather than just two human beings being together. It’s the love we share. You and I- we are destined to build a home in it.

His hair reminds me of the joyous summer days. His scent reminds me of the feeling of contentment that has been long gone. His eyes reminds me of pure bliss in the heart, mind, and soul. His laughs remind me of the sweetest disposition. His kisses remind me of genuine happiness. His hugs reminds me of paradise on earth. His love reminds me of home.

You are the reason I am feeling grateful today.

I can’t not write about love. I can’t not boast about how priceless the feeling is. I can’t not exaggerate whenever I’m tasting even only a bit of it. I can’t not appreciate love when it finally comes again. I simply can’t not.

The last time I fell in love, I got disappointed. I could not help but expect. I could not help but dream. Once he got away, all those expectations and dreams went crashing down and took the inside of me away with them. I wasn’t ready for it. I watched myself crumbling--and getting more fearful than ever to keep going. I kept telling myself that it was the last time I would actually fall in love ever again, before deciding to settle down in the future.

But then, love finds me again. I don’t know how the hell it happened, but what I know for sure is that it comes again, and it has seamlessly struck into my mind, my skin and my bones, and has remained that way ever since. Settling down and having fun--everything seems possible if imagined with him. This time, I feel true fondness. I feel true realness. I feel the truth.