Marblester

Last day of pride happy pride month! (i knew it was pride month…i was having a terrible time with my family and i really wanted to focus on my art).but i’ll be back another time so see you all in disability pride month tomorrow which is July☀️👋.

Hello everyone I’m not feeling great because i have a blocked runny nose and also what happening.on saturday evening i was planning to do art at night in the living room with instrumental music on the tv but then everything along with it started going off and on,i didn’t know why until i heard it was the upstairs not working & “someone” was trying fix it (a friend my mom has been keeping because he had a problem with his house) so as a result of that i lost my most of my tv time and got very stressed without the music.My mom then came down to charge his phone as well as hers & was going to stay there when i wanted to be alone so i annoyed her the as best as possible to prevent that and it didn’t work,she stayed & ate ice that stressed me out further more (no offence pica community❤️).When she finally went i ended up not sleeping throughout the night until it was 5am which is where my called me to go upstairs & i did,nudging her beside as i went.Now while saturday was annoying and frustrating it’s Sunday where the terribleness began…this time i was on the computer and playing music (games not so much) i got off and waited for evening or night to come so i could do art or kickback and watch tv but my mom was busy doing stuff & started to eat ice again and drink energy drinks i really felt uncomfortable being around her and wanted her to go quickly so i put her bag near the stairs so she could go but then she came in angry saying “IM NOT FINISHED” “HOW OLD ARE YOU!?” my bodymind was getting very irritated and i started threatening her that i was going to smash a small bottle on the floor from there on we had a fight & argument (i didn’t hit but i walked out and showed her middle finger & bum and i now feel disgusting for going to far with that). She then came shouting extremely loud at me then 1 of my sisters came out to calm her down saying “she has gone through alot of stuff and is trying to help you” after I went to the kitchen she said i should “have sympathy for her” & that the school is trying to help as well (no because they still do “safe restraint” and punitive discipline).All of this just doesn’t just make me bitter but also burntout,irritated,restless amongst other stuff.I wish i could tell more but i really need to do my art & self-directed learning :( [TL;DR upstair bedroom outlets not working,want to be alone fownstares & do art,had a big non-violent fight with my mom and ended up sleeping on sunday with sensory music on tv & didn’t on saturday] i’m healing again but…i will be back so until then…goodbye👋🫩😔🌧️.

On Thursday 28th of may i attempted to run away with my suitcase and when i did i wandered looking for a place to spend the night but i didn’t knock on anyone’s doors nor talk to any one because of…well…im not preferable of seeking out friends (you can scroll down on my blog to find a long story,then read in any way that’s accessible & find out why) & possible danger of getting into trouble.When i continued walking i found a park that i forgot the name of. it had a historyboard about a sailor boy in a navy army,large plants,a playground & other stuff when i spent my time there it was ready to go but then i decided this runaway was a bad idea because i didn’t want to be homeless so i went to the park close to my house,my sisters found me & i got returned home.Now the reason why all of this started was…1:my phone powered off & i was unable to charge it so i asked one of my if i could go on the computer & said “no it’s a week day you have to go to school” and i exploded because Whitefield still did “reasonable safe restraints” on children and STILL didn’t CHANGE their attitude toward behaviorism.2:my mom’s parenting style (authoritarian) not to mention hearing hear say “I WON’T have him BEHAVE BADLY in this house”.3:my long history of dealing with a terrible school system,authoritarian parenting and behaviorism, and complex + bystander classroom trauma (the bystander part coming from seeing & hearing other children go through punitive “discipline”.This resulted in my bodymind being hyperaroused and jumpy making me feel tensed up as well as fed up with all this and pack my suitcase with food,a soda can & clothes.My bags on the other hand went through a transfer with books,toys and art supplies.In the end I came around with my crying and angry at me saying “DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WITH YOUR DAD?” i sighed,took my suitcase and bag upstairs,undid all of the transfers with my bag, unpacked my suitcase and ate the noodles with my mom saying “are you going to say sorry to me for what you have done?!”.So yeah sad and enraging story right? but atleast i discovered a park that i could go to again for relief…and then come back.So on monday i will post the following pages of the STEAMISM book i wrote and reveal the results whenever possible until then…goodbye👋.

Dangerous heat dome📛♨️☀️ over the Anglo-Celtic isles,Greater European Forests (GEF) & Mediterranean subrealms causing great distress for you,me & all of us that live in these biological zones so when it dies down i’ll return until then goodbye👋

Happy birthday David Attenborough🎬🏆🏜️🏔️⛰️🪾🌱🪵🍁🍂🎋🍀☘️🪸🪺🌎🌍🌏🌕🌑☀️❄️⛈️🌧️🌋🏝️🎊🪅🎉💚💙

Happy international workers day 1st of may

April is IBS awareness month so happy IBS awareness month I guess…