marauders_have_my_soul

*sirius enters the dorm*

sirius: prongs, we need to talk.

james: *sits up* what's up.

sirius: I'm gay.

james: ...

sirius: ...

james: can I—

sirius: yes.

james: *gets up and hugs him* are you—

sirius: I'm fine.

james: does your mother—

sirius: no, but when she—

james: you know you're welcome—

sirius: I know.

james: ok, good ... wait, was it—

sirius: yes.

james: does he—

sirius: no.

james: you haven't—

sirius: not yet.

james: but you do plan—

sirius: yes.

james: well, go get him, tiger!

sirius: *leaves*

james: *smiles fondly to himself*

"I don't want to go," Harry said, crossing his pudgy little arms together and pouting in a way that was so reminiscent of James, Sirius almost teared up.

"Why's that, Haz? You love school?" Sirius asked, looking over the four-year old with nothing but confusion. It was true. Ever since the first day, Harry got up each morning with excitement, thrilled to see his friends and his teachers. It was Sirius and Remus who had trouble sending him off without tears.

"Miss M read us a fairytale yesterday at circle," Harry explained, his wide, round eyes distressed. "There was a little girl with a red coat, and a wolf, who-" he broke off, looking at Remus with tears.

Remus, who had only been listening up until this point, looked at Harry with such deep sadness, Sirius wanted to pull both of his boys into his arms. "Did the story scare you, Harry?" Remus asked softly. "It's alright if it did. Wolves can be scary."

But Harry, who looked like James more than anything, but who had Lily's personality down to a T, gave Remus a startled glare. "Moony, wolves are not scary!" he insisted, looking exactly as Lily did when they all used to try to skip important homework. "I love your wolf, and Miss M was so mean about him! I don't want her as my teacher ever again!" He stamped his foot to emphasize this, face screwed up with anger.

If Sirius had not been so surprised, he would have laughed aloud. Remus looked shocked, the sadness and sympathy melting off his face into raw love as he took in the anger the four year old in front of him had on his behalf.

"Never saw one without the other, did you?"

@wolfstarmicrofic | Word count: 203

"What was that?" Remus asked with a tiny voice, unconsciously moving closer to Sirius, who chuckled.

"Calm down, Moony, probably just a book falling."

They were in the library's forbidden section, searching for a book they needed for their next prank. It was past midnight, and they had settled it with rock-paper-scissors to decide who would go—they lost.

"Let's just get this over with," Remus murmured beside him, trying to appear calm, but Sirius knew he was scared witless. "The book should be nearby—"

He was cut off by another loud, strange noise, almost like a moan or a cry. Remus jumped and ran back to Sirius, grabbing his hand without a second thought.

"Okay, that was definitely not a book falling," Remus said, tightening his grip on Sirius's hand. "We can come back for it when there's light, right? I can't stand being here any longer."

Distracted by Remus holding his hand, Sirius simply nodded and followed as Remus started walking out of the library, their hands still locked. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw James and Peter peeking out from behind a bookshelf, giving him a thumbs-up.

Wtf loser just say that you love him my god🙃

“Traitor,” Remus gasped, staring at Sirius with cold eyes, his eyebrows narrowed and his fists clenched.

But Sirius just gazed back, his expression cold and calculating. “How could I? How could you?”

They were at a standoff. Everything around them had stopped, and it wasn’t lost on either of them that both Peter and James were gaping at them like they were afraid of what would happen next.

“I thought…I thought you loved me,” Remus mumbled, looking down at Sirius, and the shorter boy’s eyes betrayed him, showing a fleeting flash of regret.

“I-“ Sirius began to apologize.

But it was too late.

“Attack!” Remus ordered, grinning and laughing as he, James, and Peter all charged at Sirius simultaneously, dunking him under the water.

“Moons, no!” Sirius cried dramatically, but he was giggling as he was pulled into the salt water, his black tresses floating amongst the waves.

But when the three boys finally let up and Sirius settled himself into Remus’s waiting arms, gasping a bit, he pecked his boyfriend on the nose softly. “Who’s the traitor now?” He mumbled, beaming at Remus with an adoring expression.

“You,” Remus retorted. “That’ll teach you not to splash me when I’m not looking.”

It’s a childish game. “Truth or dare, Lil?” “Dare,” she replies without hesitation, leaning back into the worn leather booth. “Obviously.” Hestia’s eyes gleam. “Go snog Potter.” It’s a stupid, stupid childish bloody game. “No,” Lily says firmly. “Pick something else. We’re Heads together. And friends.” She turns to Mary for support, but her best friend only tilts her head and shrugs. “I think I want to see this, Lily.” Lily stares at her, feeling utterly betrayed. “You’re joking.” “What’s the big deal?” Mary asks. “Like you said, you’re friends now. It’s just a dare.” “No way.” “Come on, Lil,” Hestia groans, “don’t be a spoilsport!” “You dared me to kiss Benjy!” Mary adds. “I can’t,” Lily begs, “and you would have given Benjy a bloody lap dance, even if no one had dared you.” “He’s still in love with you and you know it,” Hestia says pointedly. “Potter?” Lily yelps, her voice rising. “At least you lot don’t have to sit through the prefect meetings and watch him moon over her for the entire hour,” Marlene chimes in. “He does not—” “He does. Even Lupin agrees,” Marlene counters. “And you know how those boys are. They tell each other everything.” Lily certainly hopes not. “I’m not going to just walk over there and…snog him.” “Of course you’re not. Consent is important, Lily.” Hestia leans forward, her elbows resting on the table between them. “You’re going to ask him if he feels amenable to having your tongue down his throat. And then you’re going to snog him.” “Jesus, Hestia,” Lily hisses, shutting her eyes tight.  “What? You think he’d say no?” “Of course he wouldn’t,” says Mary, betraying Lily once again. Lily chances a glance over to the table where the Marauders sit, a collection of empty and half-drunk Butterbeer glasses strewn between them. Peter seems to be regaling them with some story, his hands flying around in animation. “I really can’t.” “Give us a reason,” Hestia challenges. “And not that rubbish about you being Heads. You think Emmeline and Eddy weren’t snogging all last year?” “I just…” Lily’s voice trails off as she glances at the boys’ table again, this time allowing herself to linger on James. He wears a dark blue jumper, sleeves pushed up to his elbows in that casually maddening way. As if on cue, he throws his head back and laughs. Even though Lily is too far away to hear over the din of the Three Broomsticks, she can still pick out his laugh. She can find it in the middle of a hurricane, in the chaos of a war. She hears it in the halls, in her dreams. She wants to hear it forever. Hestia clears her throat, snapping Lily back to the present. She looks back to find three pairs of amused eyes fixed on her. “Please don’t make me,” she mutters miserably.

Sirius glanced up to her, "Hey, Red."

"What you doing?" She gestured to the paper and quill in his hands, "I know you're not doing homework."

Sirius laughed, "I'd never... it's a letter, for my brother."

"Right", Lily leaned back in her seat, "I didn't know you two still talked."

"Well I talk and he never fucking replies", Sirius bitterly smiled.

Lily nodded knowingly, "I get that. I used to send Petunia letters practically every day. She never sent a single one back, and I finally got the message by third year."

Sirius frowned slightly, "So I should 'get the message' and stop?"

Lily bit her lip, "Well, it's a bit different. Regulus is the younger one, and as a younger sibling, myself, we tend to look up to our older siblings a lot, either as examples of what to do or what not to do. And yeah, he's seeing you an example of what not to do, but that means he's still looking up to you, that he still cares about you and watches you from afar."

Sirius laughed, "Sounds a bit creepy."

"Oh, shut up, Black", Lily smiled back, "I just mean it's not too late, and he clearly still cares about you. And I would have done anything to get Petunia to send me a letter... so your brother is lucky to have you."

Sirius nodded, staring down at the letter in his hands and decisively folded it in half and slipped it into an envelope.

Lily moved over closer, leaning her head on his shoulder, "You're a good person, Black."

Sirius smiled down at her, leaning his own head on top of hers, "Regulus may be lucky to have me. But you know what, Red? I'm lucky to have you."

“You look silly like that.”

Sirius, with James’s invisibility cloak pulled up to his neck, was just a floating head bobbing next to Remus, following him around like a puppy on his prefect rounds.

Sirius winked and pinched Remus’s cheek. “Well, I’m out past curfew. Wouldn’t want to be caught.”

Remus blushed. Potent satisfaction swelled in Sirius’s chest.

Yet with only a week left until the end of their sixth year, he was tired of playing this game. Remus was never going to make the first move, which left the life altering decision on whether their friendship could survive love — requited or not, forever or not — up to Sirius.

“Stupid,” Remus mumbled, smiling.

Sirius pulled the cloak over his head and completely disappeared.

“Sirius. Stop it.”

Sirius giggled.

Remus stretched his arms out, trying to snatch the cloak. “Sirius, c’mon, where are you? You know what, whatever.”

Still hidden and following several long paces behind, Sirius let Remus walk all the way up to the seventh floor. “Moooooony,” he’d call every few minutes in a hollow voice, like a ghost. “Oh Moooooony.”

“Fuck oooooffffff,” Remus would sing back.

He acted annoyed, but Sirius saw the smile on Remus’s face. It was starting to feel dangerous being alone with him. Many a daydream involved this very scenario, with Sirius pulling Remus under the cloak, unseen, kissing him hot and fast until they were out of breath.

Sirius contemplated. His own thoughts made his face warm and zipped an energy through him he didn’t know what to do with, so he took off running. He didn’t try to hide the sound his pounding footsteps made.

“Sirius? AAHHHHG!”

Sirius tackled Remus around the middle, cloak slipping off his shoulder, knocking the wind out of them both. “Gotcha, Moons!”

Remus grabbed his shoulder and tried to pry him off. To Sirius’s surprise, he also pulled out his wand.

Sirius cackled. “Gonna hex me, Moony?”

“Thinking about it,” Remus exhaled, but pocketed it quickly. “You drive me nuts.”

“Tell me about it.” No, really, please tell me about it.

Arms still wrapped around Remus’s middle, their faces a breath away, Sirius could feel his heart beat incessantly in his temples, his longing almost giving him a headache. It would be so easy to kiss him right now.

“That’s odd.” Remus pulled away and Sirius let him.

“What?”

“The room of requirement just appeared.”

An intricately carved door, which was not there a moment ago, had nestled its way between two sleeping portraits.

Remus pulled the map from his pocket. Studying it, his eyebrows pinched together. “No one is around,” he said, looking up again and peeking down both ends of the hall. He turned back to Sirius. “Did you need something?”

“No,” Sirius lied. He was very certain he knew why the door had appeared.

“I wonder what’s inside…” Remus trailed.

Sirius very pointedly did not indulge him.

“Don’t you wonder?” Remus asked him, his annoyance turning playful. “Let’s go inside.” Remus held the door open for Sirius, and they both stepped across the threshold.

It was simply a broom closet. Cramped, dark, dusty.

“Well, this is stupid,” Remus mumbled. “Perhaps someone’s jinxed it?”

Sirius doubted it. “Maybe.”

“Let’s go then.” Remus reached for the door, but it was gone, as if it had never been there at all. He palmed the wall in a panic.

Sirius groaned and tipped his head back.

“It’s gone,” Remus breathed. “The door is gone.”

“It will come back,” Sirius calmed him.

“It’s jinxed,” Remus said to himself. “It’s a prank. Oh Merlin, is this what James was trying to tell us he was working on? I’m going to —“

“Moony. Moony.” Sirius grabbed Remus’s chin to turn his face towards him. They both stopped breathing. “It’s not jinxed.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I summoned the room,” Sirius grimaced. “On accident, but I think I did. And now it won’t let us out until I get what I asked it for.”

Remus’s eyes bounced across Sirius’s face. His stare lingered on his lips. “What did you ask it for?”

Sirius’s heart ambled up his throat until he was choking on its pulse. His grip, still on Remus’s chin, slid up to cradle his face. Sirius smoothed his thumb across Remus’s cheek, who leaned the weight of his head into Sirius’s hold. Fuck, why was this so easy and yet so hard?

“The courage to do this,” Sirius whispered, guiding Remus down to kiss him. Soft, slow, scared. When their lips met, his stomach flipped and his knees might’ve buckled.

Sirius felt Remus sigh in relief across his cheek. He threw his arms around his shoulders and felt himself be tugged in by the middle.

Lily slammed her hands on the desk, "It is unacceptable to skive off your duties! The next prefect to not show up, I'll deck! Don't think I won't! I'll also rip that badge right off, because clearly you don't deserve it! Now which one of was supposed to be on patrol last night?!"

James started to pass round a plate of biscuits, "We understand if you've got something more important or you just forgot. Don't worry, it happens to everyone, alright? You won't get in trouble for a simple mistake, yeah? We just need to know to make sure everyone's alright and sorted for next week."

"No!" Lily reached over the desk and grabbed the plate of biscuits, "No snacks until we find out who decided to skive off their duty!"

James leaned over and whispered to Lily, "Can we switch yet?"

She nodded.

James instantly grabbed a biscuit and threw it on the ground, "If you don't own up this second then all of you are getting removed as prefects!"

Lily sighed, "Sorry about my partner, you won't all be getting removed. I trust you all greatly, and I'm sure whoever skived had a good excuse."

"We already know who it was!"

"No, we don't."

James nodded, "We do", he slowly walked forwards to one of the ravenclaw prefects in the year below, "You were listed for duty last night... and yet you never showed up! Admit it!"

The prefect leaned backwards, "I- I was there, I swear."

Lily smiled, "Of course you were, we trust you."

James kept his eyes squinted on the prefect as he mouthed, "No we don't."

A student in the back of the room lifted their arm up, "It was me, I was ill."

"Oh", James straightened up, "Well that's fine."

Lily nodded, "Just please tell one of us or get one of your roommates to tell us next time."

"Meeting over."

As the students filed out, James turned around to Lily and leaned over the desk she was sat at.

"Yes?"

"I can't believe you told someone else that you'd deck them, thought that was just an us thing."

Lily laughed, "I'm afraid not, I said it to Wilkes just last week."

James grinned, "You ever actually done it?"

"Last week."

"Hot."

"Punching someone is hot, is it?" Lily raised her eyebrows, "I don't think you should be condoning violence as head boy."

"I trust that he deserved it."

"Oh, he did... y'know we're going to have to clean up those biscuits now."

"I'll do it", James shrugged, grabbing his wand out its holster, "I'm brilliant at the sweeping charm."

"Showing off, are you?"

"You know me."