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@maraskywalkers
mentally, I'm here.

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youve heard of missionary position. now get ready for MERCENARY position
endless 9-1-1 gifs
youve heard of missionary position. now get ready for MERCENARY position

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Years ago back when I worked in cubicle land, we were hiring junior software developers. They didn’t have to have a ton of experience, just a willingness to learn, and some demonstration of their software skills. Like: show me a program you wrote (any language) or a web site you designed. Anything.
And there was this one guy I talked with who seemed super sharp, but had virtually zero experience writing software. When it came time to do the show-n-tell part of the interview he whips out his laptop, brings up a website, and spins it around to show me what he made.
A website of tiny ceramic frogs.
Not for sale. Just… all these ceramic frogs, organized into categories. Frogs on bicycles, frogs with hats, frogs sitting on lily pads. It was a virtual museum of ceramic frogs in web form.
I scrolled through his online collection of frogs, slightly baffled.
“This is your website?” I asked finally.
“Yep!”
“You coded this yourself?” I popped into view-source mode and poked around some incredibly well-formatted, well-commented html. I nodded slowly. This guy was meticulous.
“Yep!”
“So… where’d all the frogs come from?”
“I made those too,” he says, beaming.
And while I’m processing this he rummages in his bag and pulls out a little ceramic frog working at a computer terminal. He places it on the table before us, next to the laptop.
“And THIS one,” he says, “I made for you! As a thank you for the interview.”
It was adorable. I hired him on the spot. I mean, why not? Worst case he’d wash out in 90 days and we’d hire somebody else. He turned out to be one of the best developers on our team.
And yes, his cubicle was loaded with ceramic frogs.
just thought about star wars and teared up
what if there was a franchise that was about hope, and the relationships between fathers and their children, and the relationships between mentors and their students, and redemption, and fighting against evil even when it all seems lost, and ordinary people believing in the possibility of a better and brighter future, and clinging to your culture even when darkness threatens to overcome you, and being thrust into situations that are so much bigger than you but still doing your best to make even the smallest difference, and fighting against oppression even when it’s all you’ve ever known, and watching the universe change around you and being unable to stop it, and being let down by the people closest to you but still being able to forgive them, and having faith in the people around you even when you don’t have faith in yourself. and also there are laser swords.
Buck's tongue tastes like wet ash. It clings to his matted curls and sweaty forehead and settles sour on his taste buds. His mouth is dry and his throat burns from the smoke.
The fire was out. Boots crunch on smoldering rubble. Bobby is directing the clean up, but Buck can't focus. A headache that had started at the base of his skull is now throbbing in time with his quick heart.
“Fuck.” He grumbles and walks towards where Hen is finishing up treating the victims. Only minor injuries, no fatalities. Hen has a small station set up with first aid and water.
He sits on the bumper of the ambulance and watches her work. He should be helping. He just needs a break. His head pulses and he pinches the bridge of his nose, holding tight like pressure outside might ease the pressure inside.
“Here,” Hen sits next to him and holds out a paper cup filled with water. He takes it and sips. It’s warm and tastes like wet paper.
“Thanks.”
She goes back to her work and Buck dumps the rest of the water into the dirt. He ends up stumbling back to the engine. He hauls himself up into the seat and shuts the door. He just needs a moment of quiet.
He only gets one moment before the door is opening and Eddie is climbing in next to him.
“Are you okay?” Eddie sits in his seat and turns toward Buck. “You disappeared on me.”
“Sorry, tired.” Not wrong, but not quite right. “Headache,” he adds.
Eddie leans down and reaches under his seat. He produces a large water bottle. Blue tinted plastic with a large mouth and a screw top. The side is emblazoned with the LAFD logo and underneath in neat type it reads Diaz. Buck vaguely recognizes it, he remembers some wellness campaign the department ran a while ago. Buck thinks his is abandoned in the bottom of his locker or something. He didn't know Eddie used his.
"Drink some water, it'll help." Eddie is already unscrewing the cap and pressing the bottle into Buck's hands. The water sloshes when Eddie lets go with one hand, Buck realizes his hands are shaking. The bottle is full and heavier than he expected. Eddie doesn't say anything, he just keeps his other hand steady on the bottom of the bottle and tilts it up so Buck can drink. Buck lets it happen. The water is cool and tastes of nothing. Perfectly nothing. Buck hates it when water has a weird taste. He sips and then gulps.
madney and buddie parallel 8x10 Voices // 9x13 Mother's boy

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explain your gender in 10 words or less without using boring words like “male”, “female”, “nonbinary”, “masculine”, “feminine” or “androgynous”.
go!
My sweet beads, put them there!
sometimes you write fic in your head at work because the only way to stay awake after a long busy day is by slowly rotating the blorbos in a situation, and then you spend your day off accidentally writing it
here's 1.8k unproofread words of buck with a concussion and a smidge of sharing body heat:
Open your eyes.
Come on, Buck, open your eyes for me.
Buck’s head hurts, God it really fucking hurts. Hand on his chin, light shining into his eyes, too bright. He tries to jerk away, but the hand holds him steady. Fingers warm against his cheek.
Do you remember where we are?
There’s a crack in the glass. A window, a car window, a smear of red and outside everything’s all white, oh shit is it snowing? It must be snowing. Buck’s head hurts, a sharp, sharp throb above his temple that he reaches up to touch and hisses at the sting of it, red on his fingers now too. Ow, fuck, ow.
I know, I know. Can you tell me what day it is?
If Buck guesses, there’s a one in seven chance he’ll get it right.
Well, don’t tell me that.
Buck thinks it might be Wednesday.
Someone laughs, close by. Buck’s head hurts. Is it snowing? There’s a crack in the glass, and a smear of red, and past the glass a blurry field of white, grey and black. A warm hand on his face. Buck blinks and blinks.
“Eddie?” he mumbles.
“Hey,” Eddie breathes. “Try not to move. You hit your head pretty hard.”
WHAT IF EDDIE WAS A FORMER KNIGHT TURNED APOTHECARY AND BUCK WAS A PRINCE WHO HAD BEEN CURSED INTO THE FORM OF A FIRE-BREATHING DRAGON IN BY A WICKED ENCHANTER IN EXCHANGE FOR HIM CURING PRINCE DANIEL OF HIS SICKNESS (philip and margaret weren't sufficiently careful with the wording of their agreement so daniel got sick again and died anyway) (in classic fairy tale style a fairy godmother managed to loophole it so that he's a dragon in the daytime and a human at night so he does manage to get some human socialisation)
@semperama me in bed last night thinking buck dragon thoughts
ok here's my vision: eddie retires from knight stuff after getting injured in a fantasy war, leaves his hometown with christopher (shannon might already be dead, sorry shannon) to move to fantasy los angeles to take over his abuela's apothecary (little cottage outside of the city walls, on the edge of a forest, classic ass apothecary stuff) as she's getting too old to run it and there are brigands in the woods, so she's gonna move into the city to live with pepa. when eddie gets there the city is in uproar because a dragon has ATTACKED THE CITY, killing princess maddie. her parents are sick with grief so the tragically widowed prince doug has bravely taken on the mantle of prince regent in this difficult time. prince doug's first act as regent is to put a bounty out on the dragon, of course. eddie considers going for it, as with that money he could renovate the old cottage and save up a real nest egg for christopher, but his adventuring days are behind him.
MEANWHILE, buck has been framed in a coup led by doug obviously. he believes maddie is dead and he's fled the city. very few people know he exists as king philip didn't want people knowing they have an occasional dragon son (very embarrassing). in the daytime he keeps to his XL quarters, at night he's a ward of the king. there were only a handful of loyal servants sworn to secrecy who knew the truth and doug's had them all killed and burned down a wing of the castle to get rid of anyone who could vouch for buck (rip to those unnamed servants). people in the city are sometimes like '... wasn't there a prince?' and someone replies 'oh you're thinking of prince daniel, he died' 'no, no, I swear there was another one wasn’t there...? I remember the christening?' 'I think you've got confused.'
ANYWAY, dragon buck fled the city and took refuge in the forest. the guards fired off a few arrows that damaged his wings so he couldn't fly far. he's curled up in a sad little dragon ball on the edge of the forest (so he can stare sadly at the city) when christopher stumbles upon him and is immediately like OOOH COOL YOU’RE A DRAGON... oh no you're hurt :( but it's okay because christopher's dad is an apothecary! so he goes to fetch eddie who is immediately like OH SHIT IT'S THE DRAGON and instinctively draws his sword, but the dragon seems... scared? and like it understands him? and well eddie isn't in the practice of slaying frightened beasts, let alone intelligent ones, and christopher is looking up at him so earnestly, so eddie patches up the dragon (and notes the distinctive patch of pink scales over one of its eyes) and even goes hunting for some meat for it. he feels like a fool tossing it a deer carcass when that's good food for idk a week, but the dragon looks so grateful, and it only eats half the carcass before nudging the rest back to eddie.
so night falls and there's a knock at the cottage door, and when eddie cautiously opens the door (remembering the brigands in the forest, although brigands don't typically knock) standing in the doorway is a naked young man looking worse for wear, with a distinctive birthmark over one eye...
so buck's had it drilled into him his whole life that he must never tell anyone who/what it is, that's buckley family rule number one, but on the other hand it seems like his life is over now anyway so he spills his guts to this handsome kind stranger (although buck doesn't know WHY he turns into a dragon, he thinks it's just something he was born with). eddie's like this sounds crazy and the scales/birthmark thing could just be a coincidence but this guy is clearly in need of a warm meal and a place to stay for the night, so he serves up a big bowl of venison pottage and gives buck a spare tunic and leggings, and despite how this guy is clearly Going Through It they wind up having a good long chat into the dead of night. before buck dozes off he tells eddie he'll wake him right before dawn, so eddie can see. and sure enough a few hours later, buck shakes him awake looking pale and sweaty and fully naked again (he's left eddie's clothes neatly folded on the sideboard) and quietly leads eddie outside, and sure enough when the first light breaks over the forest treetops, buck transforms into a dragon. (it looks like it hurts.)
eddie is suitably like 'well shit'. he shoos buck off to hide in his forest clearing again and tells him his abuela might be able to help. so that day he rides into the city to speak to her - on his way through the city, he passes the guard barracks where bounties are posted, and there's a whole crowd of eager adventurers and knights-errant come to slay the dragon. there also wanted posters for the forest brigands, led by a man known as the captain (😉). eddie asks around a little bit about the attack on the city and the royal family etc, then goes to fetch abuela and bring her back to the cottage. she eyes buck up and concludes that this is definitely the result of a curse, but it's a really powerful one, not something she can undo. (eddie murmurs to her that the transformation seems to hurt buck, so she gives him a recipe for something that might help, and pats him on the cheek and tells him he's a good boy.)
so eddie and buck are hanging out!! buck is still in mourning and reeling to learn that he was cursed; he has no idea who would curse a baby or why, and can't imagine his family knew about it or else they would have told him, right?? but still he's having such a nice time getting to run around outside and talk to the diazes!! he's never been in a forest or a cottage or outside of the city walls before. he's never had a friend that wasn't his sister or a servant before. (he feels so guilty that it took his sister dying for him to experience this.) but one day while eddie is at the market or whatever, something happens to christopher, like idk he falls into the river - and buck blows his cover to come fly and rescue him. all the townsolk who are at the market see this bloody great dragon emerging from the forest and maybe try to eat this sweet small child???? buck has to go deeper into the forest to hide (not easy when you're a bloody great dragon). at first eddie regretfully lets him go because he just needs chris to be safe, but chris is absolutely furious and demands they help their friend, and well - it's extremely easy to track the path a bloody great dragon makes in the woods, and eddie can see the adventurers on their way to slay their foe. so he grabs chris and his old sword and legs it into the forest, hoping he might at least be able to delay them long enough for the sun to go down.
buck didn't make it far before the trees grew too close for him to get through, and he's tangled in the branches in a panic when eddie catches up with him. the knights aren't far behind him, and they're really confused to see eddie and christopher there already and extra confused when eddie draws his sword on them and yells at them to abandon their quest. (ravi is one of the knights. these guys aren't monsters, they're people who earnestly believe this dragon attacked the castle. there was a fire! people died! including the princess!)
ravi draws his own sword in confusion, and then an arrow flies through the air and knocks the sword out of his hand. BRIGANDS emerge from the trees. eddie and ravi and the other knights ready themselves for a fight, but then a short woman with her face obscured by a scarf steps forward and says, 'buck, it's me.'
eddie doesn't know who this is, but buck clearly does from the way he stops thrashing around. ravi and his pals all lower their swords, recognising her voice. and sure enough princess maddie tugs her scarf down and runs to her brother
what if buck overcame the constraints of the curse and forced himself to turn into dragonform at will in order to rescue eddie when idk doug pushes him off a tower or something......
the bad news: I now hate my current wip and strongly believe there isn't a single joke in it that lands
the good news: I know my process enough to recognize this as the slump that I hit in everything I write when it's like three-quarters-ish done
the bad news: the only way out is through
the good news: I do know the way out!
the bad news: yeah but it's through
making a cross stitch that says "I am funny and he would fucking say that" to hang directly above my monitor
"hey toast you stayed up past midnight because you were working on the fic and not because you were procrastinating by making a hideous pattern for a joke cross stitch" have you never met a writer before
gonna tell my kids this was live laugh love

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you have won a lifetime supply of this
How do you feel?
good!
I CAN SELL THIS AND GET RICH
im drowning in my supply help
Eh it's okay
BAD. VERY BAD
results/other
you would receive the supply once a month
the brand/type will vary so you could
you can sell the things you get/give them away but they will keep coming until you die
requested by miss-million