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sometimes you write fic in your head at work because the only way to stay awake after a long busy day is by slowly rotating the blorbos in a situation, and then you spend your day off accidentally writing it
here's 1.8k unproofread words of buck with a concussion and a smidge of sharing body heat:
Open your eyes.
Come on, Buck, open your eyes for me.
Buck’s head hurts, God it really fucking hurts. Hand on his chin, light shining into his eyes, too bright. He tries to jerk away, but the hand holds him steady. Fingers warm against his cheek.
Do you remember where we are?
There’s a crack in the glass. A window, a car window, a smear of red and outside everything’s all white, oh shit is it snowing? It must be snowing. Buck’s head hurts, a sharp, sharp throb above his temple that he reaches up to touch and hisses at the sting of it, red on his fingers now too. Ow, fuck, ow.
I know, I know. Can you tell me what day it is?
If Buck guesses, there’s a one in seven chance he’ll get it right.
Well, don’t tell me that.
Buck thinks it might be Wednesday.
Someone laughs, close by. Buck’s head hurts. Is it snowing? There’s a crack in the glass, and a smear of red, and past the glass a blurry field of white, grey and black. A warm hand on his face. Buck blinks and blinks.
“Eddie?” he mumbles.
“Hey,” Eddie breathes. “Try not to move. You hit your head pretty hard.”
“What… happened?”
“Road’s icy. Some asshole was speeding and he skidded, you had to swerve to avoid him. We went through the barrier and right into a ditch.”
“Oh…” Buck blinks again, but his vision stays blurry. Out through the windshield the headlights are pooling into the snow, drift of white all the way up to the bumper. It’s snowing. They should turn off the lights, save the battery; Buck reaches out a clumsy hand for the button and misses, his arms heavy and uncoordinated. His head hurts so damn much.
Hey, hey, stay with me.
Buck isn’t going anywhere. He doesn’t think he’s going anywhere, anyway. Where’s he going? He feels sick like he used to get in the car when he was a kid, even just on ten minute drives to the grocery store. Threw up in the parking lot so many times they should have put a plaque up to commemorate it. Oh fuck, he’s gonna be sick - fumbles the door open, blast of cold air and the sting of snow against his aching face, and the seatbelt digging into his neck too hard, shit, it’s okay, you’re okay, a hand on his back as Buck heaves. Gooseflesh prickling up and down his arms.
Eased back into his seat, his eyes screwed tightly shut. Warm body leaning over his and the click of the door closing, shutting out the wind, though Buck keeps shivering. Maddie always got him a ginger ale, after a car ride - where’s Maddie - ?
- gonna need your help with this one, buddy. I’m from Texas, remember? I don’t know the first thing about snow.
Is it snowing?
Yeah - yeah, Buck, it’s snowing.
In Los Angeles?
No, not Los Angeles, we were driving - do you remember?
Buck doesn’t remember.
I know you have a first aid kit somewhere.
There’s rustling sounds, and Buck only realises there’s a warm hand touching his neck when it pulls away again, leaving cool air behind; he squints his eyes open and watches the hand, rummaging in the glove box, hand attached to arm attached to Eddie, oh, it’s Eddie.
“Hey, Eddie,” Buck mumbles. He grins. God, he loves Eddie so much.
Eddie jerks like he’s been electrocuted, knocking his elbow against the car door. He sucks in a breath too hard and has to cough it back out again, while he curses and rubs his elbow.
“Jesus Christ,” he says, “where’s your first aid kit?”
Buck’s stomach sinks. “Are you hurt?”
“No, I - I’m fine, don’t worry about me.”
“Always gonna worry about you.”
Eddie turns his head to look at Buck. His eyes are brown smudges, too far away for Buck to focus on no matter how hard he blinks. Buck tries to lean closer, to see Eddie’s face clearly, but something stops him with a sharp tug, digging into his neck. It makes his whole head throb and Buck hisses, batting at the thing, the strap across his chest, get it off of him, get it off.
Easy, easy, hold still. Eddie’s leaning close, kneeling over the centre console to steady Buck’s head with both hands. Close enough that Buck can smell the fresh scent of his laundry detergent, and close enough that Buck can see his eyes, wide and dark, and a scratch on his forehead.
“Said you weren’t hurt,” Buck mutters, lifting up his hand.
Fingers too unsteady to trace the scratch, he ends up pressing his whole palm against the side of Eddie’s face. Eddie’s skin is damp with sweat. Sea breeze, that’s the laundry detergent. Blue lid on the bottle.
Chris came home at last smelling weirdly floral, Helena’s scent of choice, but he’s sea breeze scented again now. Everything back to normal. And that’s why - that’s why they were driving, Buck thinks. Where were they driving?
“It’s just a scratch,” Eddie whispers.
“Where’re we going?”
“Where’s your first aid kit?”
“Red bag.”
“Okay, and where’s that?”
Buck frowns at his hand on Eddie’s face. His head hurts so much, a sharp pulsing throb radiating from his temple, held at bay by Eddie’s hands against his neck and Eddie’s thumbs on his jaw. Carefully, Buck lifts his other hand to the other side of Eddie’s face. Fingertips brushing Eddie’s hair, the pad of his thumb brushing the corner of Eddie’s mouth.
“You’re killing me, Buck,” Eddie says.
“Trunk,” Buck says. “Red bag. A-and blue - blue’s for emergencies.”
“Okay. I’m gonna get those. You, try not to move.”
When Eddie leaves, he takes his warm hands with him. Buck’s head is too heavy. Driver’s side window cracked like a spider’s web, red smear in the centre of the glass. Headlights too bright against all the white outside. Is it snowing? They were going somewhere, him and Eddie, they were - where’s Eddie?
Where is he?
Everything all too bright.
Can you open your eyes for me?
Don’t wanna.
I know, I’m sorry. But can you try for me?
Eddie’s voice. Sea breeze, blue lid. A red smear on the glass. Buck squints into the bright, bright light, a hand on his face to keep him from flinching away.
Your pupil response still seems fine. Let me get this C collar on you, to be safe. Thank God you’re such a boy scout.
Something firm wraps around Buck’s neck. Something cold and damp and sharply stinging dabs against his forehead, wipes down the side of his face and up into his hair, making him hiss and jerk backwards.
Sorry, sorry, almost done.
Gentle hands, pressing something soft against Buck’s temple.
“Eddie?”
The hands still. “I’m right here, Buck.”
“What happened?”
“Some asshole ran us off the road during a blizzard. I’m not getting any signal, so we’re gonna be stuck here for… I dunno, a while.”
He smoothes a piece of tape down over the gauze on Buck’s forehead, presses a couple tylenol into his hand and passes him a bottle of water to wash them down. Buck watches him with half-lidded eyes, as Eddie packs away the first aid kit and starts tugging supplies from the emergency kit. The locator beacon is right on top, in easy reach, because Buck likes to reorganise his kits every couple of months. He follows subreddits where users debate the merits of different brands of PLBs and MREs and emergency blankets.
When Buck can’t sleep, he imagines scenarios that scare him, and then he makes lists of all the ways he can prepare for them. Sometimes, selfishly, he likes to imagine Eddie is with him.
Hey, I’m always with you, aren’t I?
Not always.
Buck blinks his eyes back open, a hand on his knee, gently shaking his leg. It’s dark outside. His head hurts. Eddie’s leaning in close.
“I know you’re tired, and I promise you can rest soon, but I’m gonna need you to tell me what to do here.”
“Blue bag.”
“‘M not a prepper. Just… prepared.” Buck squints around himself. Lifts an unsteady hand to rub his face, hisses in a pained breath as his fingers knock against the gauze taped to his forehead. “Umm. Duct tape?”
“Yeah, I got it. Beacon activated. We got, uhh, a prepper’s wet dream in here.”
“Check,” Eddie says, holding up the roll.
“Need to cover the windows up, for insulation. Then t-tape a blanket up, make a space… to keep warm. Backseat’s best. There’s… coffee can?”
“Coffee can… check.” Eddie lifts it up so it rattles.
“Tea lights and waterproof matches inside. We can light the candles in the can, generates a bit of heat.”
“Okay, let’s get you into the back, and then I’ll get taping.”
It’s slow going, Eddie keeping a tight grip on Buck’s arms all the while, and Buck still feels so dizzy once he’s on the backseat he has to lie down immediately. The jeep’s tilted slightly upwards in the snow, rolling him down against the back of the seats, stomach rocking, head spinning. Eyes screwed tightly shut. Head against a makeshift pillow made of extra sweaters in Jee’s size and Chris’s as well - Chris from months ago, probably too small now, he’ll have to get a size up, adds it to the list. Breathes in through his nose, out through his mouth. Drifts.
Buck?
It’s dark when he opens his eyes again. Flickering points of orange light, Eddie’s shadow on the ceiling as Eddie crouches over him. Soft dark, velvet dark.
“Room for one more?” Eddie whispers.
Buck shifts over as best as he can and Eddie does the rest, slotting carefully into the space around him. He drags a thick, woollen blanket over them both, all the way up and over their heads. Eddie’s arm, cradling Buck’s head. Buck’s legs, cradling Eddie’s legs. It’s warm, he’s warm, all over.
“What happened?” Buck whispers. “I’m, I know you told me, but I…”
“You hit your head,” Eddie whispers back, his breath puffing against Buck’s face.
“Got that much.”
“It’s icy. Asshole driver ran us off the road and we got stuck in the snow. He didn’t even stop. Yes, I activated your boy scout beacon,” Eddie adds before Buck can ask.
“I wasn’t a boy scout.”
“You’ve got scout leader written all over you. If - you know. Christopher’s too old now. But if you have kids…”
“Another kid.”
“Yeah.”
Eddie’s other arm slips around Buck’s waist. Buck can hear, just barely, the sound of the wind outside. It’s quiet in here. The creak of their boots whenever they shift even slightly. Eddie’s breathing, slow and steady. Buck’s own heartbeat, in his ears.
“I… did I tell you I love you?”
“Yeah,” Eddie says again, softer. Then, cautiously, like a get out of jail free card. “You sounded pretty confused, though.”
“I’m… I’m not.”
Eddie hums against his shoulder. “Tell me again when you don’t have a concussion.”
“Okay.”
Buck’s hand finds Eddie’s in the dark, lacing their fingers together.
WHAT IF EDDIE WAS A FORMER KNIGHT TURNED APOTHECARY AND BUCK WAS A PRINCE WHO HAD BEEN CURSED INTO THE FORM OF A FIRE-BREATHING DRAGON IN BY A WICKED ENCHANTER IN EXCHANGE FOR HIM CURING PRINCE DANIEL OF HIS SICKNESS (philip and margaret weren't sufficiently careful with the wording of their agreement so daniel got sick again and died anyway) (in classic fairy tale style a fairy godmother managed to loophole it so that he's a dragon in the daytime and a human at night so he does manage to get some human socialisation)
@semperama me in bed last night thinking buck dragon thoughts
ok here's my vision: eddie retires from knight stuff after getting injured in a fantasy war, leaves his hometown with christopher (shannon might already be dead, sorry shannon) to move to fantasy los angeles to take over his abuela's apothecary (little cottage outside of the city walls, on the edge of a forest, classic ass apothecary stuff) as she's getting too old to run it and there are brigands in the woods, so she's gonna move into the city to live with pepa. when eddie gets there the city is in uproar because a dragon has ATTACKED THE CITY, killing princess maddie. her parents are sick with grief so the tragically widowed prince doug has bravely taken on the mantle of prince regent in this difficult time. prince doug's first act as regent is to put a bounty out on the dragon, of course. eddie considers going for it, as with that money he could renovate the old cottage and save up a real nest egg for christopher, but his adventuring days are behind him.
MEANWHILE, buck has been framed in a coup led by doug obviously. he believes maddie is dead and he's fled the city. very few people know he exists as king philip didn't want people knowing they have an occasional dragon son (very embarrassing). in the daytime he keeps to his XL quarters, at night he's a ward of the king. there were only a handful of loyal servants sworn to secrecy who knew the truth and doug's had them all killed and burned down a wing of the castle to get rid of anyone who could vouch for buck (rip to those unnamed servants). people in the city are sometimes like '... wasn't there a prince?' and someone replies 'oh you're thinking of prince daniel, he died' 'no, no, I swear there was another one wasn’t there...? I remember the christening?' 'I think you've got confused.'
ANYWAY, dragon buck fled the city and took refuge in the forest. the guards fired off a few arrows that damaged his wings so he couldn't fly far. he's curled up in a sad little dragon ball on the edge of the forest (so he can stare sadly at the city) when christopher stumbles upon him and is immediately like OOOH COOL YOU’RE A DRAGON... oh no you're hurt :( but it's okay because christopher's dad is an apothecary! so he goes to fetch eddie who is immediately like OH SHIT IT'S THE DRAGON and instinctively draws his sword, but the dragon seems... scared? and like it understands him? and well eddie isn't in the practice of slaying frightened beasts, let alone intelligent ones, and christopher is looking up at him so earnestly, so eddie patches up the dragon (and notes the distinctive patch of pink scales over one of its eyes) and even goes hunting for some meat for it. he feels like a fool tossing it a deer carcass when that's good food for idk a week, but the dragon looks so grateful, and it only eats half the carcass before nudging the rest back to eddie.
so night falls and there's a knock at the cottage door, and when eddie cautiously opens the door (remembering the brigands in the forest, although brigands don't typically knock) standing in the doorway is a naked young man looking worse for wear, with a distinctive birthmark over one eye...
so buck's had it drilled into him his whole life that he must never tell anyone who/what it is, that's buckley family rule number one, but on the other hand it seems like his life is over now anyway so he spills his guts to this handsome kind stranger (although buck doesn't know WHY he turns into a dragon, he thinks it's just something he was born with). eddie's like this sounds crazy and the scales/birthmark thing could just be a coincidence but this guy is clearly in need of a warm meal and a place to stay for the night, so he serves up a big bowl of venison pottage and gives buck a spare tunic and leggings, and despite how this guy is clearly Going Through It they wind up having a good long chat into the dead of night. before buck dozes off he tells eddie he'll wake him right before dawn, so eddie can see. and sure enough a few hours later, buck shakes him awake looking pale and sweaty and fully naked again (he's left eddie's clothes neatly folded on the sideboard) and quietly leads eddie outside, and sure enough when the first light breaks over the forest treetops, buck transforms into a dragon. (it looks like it hurts.)
eddie is suitably like 'well shit'. he shoos buck off to hide in his forest clearing again and tells him his abuela might be able to help. so that day he rides into the city to speak to her - on his way through the city, he passes the guard barracks where bounties are posted, and there's a whole crowd of eager adventurers and knights-errant come to slay the dragon. there also wanted posters for the forest brigands, led by a man known as the captain (😉). eddie asks around a little bit about the attack on the city and the royal family etc, then goes to fetch abuela and bring her back to the cottage. she eyes buck up and concludes that this is definitely the result of a curse, but it's a really powerful one, not something she can undo. (eddie murmurs to her that the transformation seems to hurt buck, so she gives him a recipe for something that might help, and pats him on the cheek and tells him he's a good boy.)
so eddie and buck are hanging out!! buck is still in mourning and reeling to learn that he was cursed; he has no idea who would curse a baby or why, and can't imagine his family knew about it or else they would have told him, right?? but still he's having such a nice time getting to run around outside and talk to the diazes!! he's never been in a forest or a cottage or outside of the city walls before. he's never had a friend that wasn't his sister or a servant before. (he feels so guilty that it took his sister dying for him to experience this.) but one day while eddie is at the market or whatever, something happens to christopher, like idk he falls into the river - and buck blows his cover to come fly and rescue him. all the townsolk who are at the market see this bloody great dragon emerging from the forest and maybe try to eat this sweet small child???? buck has to go deeper into the forest to hide (not easy when you're a bloody great dragon). at first eddie regretfully lets him go because he just needs chris to be safe, but chris is absolutely furious and demands they help their friend, and well - it's extremely easy to track the path a bloody great dragon makes in the woods, and eddie can see the adventurers on their way to slay their foe. so he grabs chris and his old sword and legs it into the forest, hoping he might at least be able to delay them long enough for the sun to go down.
buck didn't make it far before the trees grew too close for him to get through, and he's tangled in the branches in a panic when eddie catches up with him. the knights aren't far behind him, and they're really confused to see eddie and christopher there already and extra confused when eddie draws his sword on them and yells at them to abandon their quest. (ravi is one of the knights. these guys aren't monsters, they're people who earnestly believe this dragon attacked the castle. there was a fire! people died! including the princess!)
ravi draws his own sword in confusion, and then an arrow flies through the air and knocks the sword out of his hand. BRIGANDS emerge from the trees. eddie and ravi and the other knights ready themselves for a fight, but then a short woman with her face obscured by a scarf steps forward and says, 'buck, it's me.'
eddie doesn't know who this is, but buck clearly does from the way he stops thrashing around. ravi and his pals all lower their swords, recognising her voice. and sure enough princess maddie tugs her scarf down and runs to her brother
what if buck overcame the constraints of the curse and forced himself to turn into dragonform at will in order to rescue eddie when idk doug pushes him off a tower or something......
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"hey toast you stayed up past midnight because you were working on the fic and not because you were procrastinating by making a hideous pattern for a joke cross stitch" have you never met a writer before
during a quiet night at the station harry turns to ravi and says 'hey rav, fuck marry kill, chim, eddie or buck?'
'obviously kill buck-' 'oh yeah, obviously' (buck, lifting his head up from where he's sprawled in a recliner: hey.) '-fuck eddie, I've got eyes. marry chim for the sweet captain privileges.'
(eddie, from the other recliner, without lifting his head: nice.)
'hey cap,' harry hollers, 'fuck marry kill, ravi, eddie or buck?'
'I'm pretty sure this is a HR violation,' says chim from where he's doing admin at the dining table. 'but uhhh. buck, I'm sorry, you're my brother and I love you, but I can’t. I've gotta kill you-'
(What the fuck?? says buck)
'transfer ravi to another house and then fuck him, I guess. eddie, I'll marry you.'
(yeah ok says eddie around a big yawn)
chim says, 'hen, you're exempt, lesbian card in play.' (thank you lord says hen without looking up from the book she's reading.) 'harry, you're exempt because I need to be able to look your mom in the eyes'
(And because he's, what? twelve? mutters buck.
Im eighteen and three quarters, hisses harry.
Spoken like a true 12 year old)
'buckaroo, fuck marry kill, eddie, ravi or-'
'I'm killing ravi.'
'ah, ah, let me finish! eddie, ravi or your truly.'
'kill ravi. then uh. Uh.' buck clears his throat. (hen lowers her book.) 'I'm uh, I'll marry chim, he, you know, I already know he's a good husband. a-and jee and nash are already buckley hans, so that's. convenient.'
'and you'll fuck eddie,' hen concludes, placidly.
'as a friend.'
'you don't want to marry me?' eddie says, sounding a little hurt.
'I - it's not that I don't want to marry you, I just really don't wanna fuck chim or ravi.'
'so you do want to fuck eddie,' ravi says.
'you said you'd fuck eddie!'
'well duh. I mean, i'm straight but look at him.'
'I'm always looking at him!!!'
an awkward silence. harry, deeply confused, whispers 'what is happening?'
'it's my turn,' says eddie, 'kill ravi. fuck chim, as a friend. marry buck.'
p.s. buck's immediate, unvoiced reaction is, of course, 'eddie doesn't want to fuck me?' but then the tones go off and save him from having to examine that thought any further
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we don't talk enough about the fact that if Eddie Diaz didn't drag his sore injured-in-a-car- accident ass all over New Mexico then Buck would've been dead
like. canonically
this is the direct he saved my life episode. I can make a ton of what-ifs to Eddie being shot where other people save him but there is literally either Buck dies or Eddie saves him in Mother's Boy. radically. nothing else could happen
the thing about Tangled is that this is a story geared towards little girls (even if it's "fun for the whole family," it's a disney princess movie, it's geared towards little girls), and it says, "here is a girl who is naive and doesn't know anything about the 'Real World' or how to navigate it safely and correctly. now pay close attention: the good guys are the ones who help her grow and explore new things while still respecting her own perspective and feelings, not making her feel stupid. the bad guys are the ones who tell her that she is too weak/immature/naive to do the things she wants to do, because she is fragile and needs protecting." and I watched this when I was nine years old and it resonated deep in a part of me that I couldn't articulate with words yet.
like, I was nine years old. other notable memories from being nine years old include adults making jokes about how easily squished fairies could be when I tried to explain my love of tiny fairies living tiny lives, and adults talking over my head about how I was "still so innocent" when I asked a question about what something was. a movie saying "hey even if you're naive and innocent you're still important and you have ideas that are worth something and people who treat you otherwise are holding you back" was such an important thing. idk
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