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I'm not sure who this is about, since the poll hasn't finished. I was envisioning Yeonjun as I wrote it, but you can read it as whoever you like :) side note, thanks to aura whose work I was reading when inspiration struck!
trigger warning: angst?
"Don't marry him."
The world seems to shake as the words fall from his lips. It feels as though your heart comes to a screeching stop and drops into your stomach with a thud.
"What?"
"Please," he's saying before you've even finished forming the word.
His eyes are so sorrowful, and you're not sure if it's guilt or sincerity. Your head begins to throb as you catch up to reality. A few steps and he's in reach of you, reaching to cup your face between his hands as he looks down at you. His eyes dart between your own, trying to trace the look in them back to one single emotion. But even you don't know what you feel as you wordlessly shake your head as though the action could clear it.
"I..." you splutter, and his eyebrows tick upward, waiting for the rest of your reply, but it doesn't come. It feels like time might have stopped inside this room.
"I love you."
It sounds like the most matter of fact statement in the world. It sounds like waves crashing and the wind picking up and the first bird song of the day. So why does it feel so wrong?
"Why?"
You can feel the warmth of your own cheeks radiating back to you from the skin of his hands. The emotions you can't name are beginning to bubble up like lava in your belly, too many to name.
"'Why?'" he repeats, confusion clouding his brow with lines.
You wish you could silence the noise inside your mind. Thousands of words and questions and scenarios battering round and round inside your head, too loud.
"Why now? Wh- why are you telling me this now?"
You see the way he bites the inside of his cheek before he speaks, a nervous habit he's always had. "Because... I can't lose you."
The lava forms a name: Anger.
Instinctively, you pull your face from his hands, moving half a step back from him. "You're ruining everything... because you're jealous?"
"It's- I'm not jealous." His hands hang dumbly at his sides now. He looks hurt—by your words or by the way you've separated yourself from him, you're not sure. "Didn't you hear me? I love you."
Blinking back hot tears, you shake your head again. You refuse to believe it. Somewhere in the molten pool inside you swirls grief for what could have been if his words are true, and it's too much to bear.
"If you loved me, you could have told me. You had so many years to make your feelings known." You breathe sharply, something catching in your throat. "You just don't want me to have something that you don't."
The expression his face dissolves into makes your heart hurt tenfold. Maybe you were reading this whole thing wrong. But it's too late now; you're too proud to take it back or stay to hear another word. With one last look at your best friend and his pitiful glassy eyes, you turn and make a swift exit, finally allowing the tears to make their own escape. They taste of loss and regret.
Prince Soobin and the love of his life have been thwarted by an evil wizard. While kidnapped, a spell was placed on her that if ever again she kissed her prince, he would die. The wizard then thrust her out into an unfamiliar world without magic, a cruel and unjust world where her prince might never find her – but even if he did, the wizard had written into the spell that would not know his face. Soobin and his four closest friends travelled far in search of someone who had power enough to rival that of the wizard and create a portal to this world without magic. But Soobin would have to pay a small price for this magic; he could never return to his kingdom, relinquishing the throne and losing all memory of his title and people once he stepped through the portal into the real world. He and his beloved would have to live in the world without magic for the rest of their lives, if they can find a way to each other, break the curse, and reach their happy ending.
They say write through your trauma but my trauma a) gives me writers block and I can’t access my creative brain or b) I give the characters trauma and then I get into a hole because everybody now has trauma and wait a minute this was supposed to be escapism 🫣
I’m finally going to get a dog and she’s named after a storybook character that has been woven through my life and she’s so perfect I will absolutely cry!
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Scribbling/drabbling plans; I swear I lose more of my writing ability every year that goes by. I read stuff I wrote as a teenager and I’m baffled, like where did that go, I cannot write that good anymore! So I want to get back to writing whatever comes to mind, writing it bad and fixing it later, finding my style again
Maniacal reading plans; I need to start reading fanfics again. I need to read my own fics and remind myself of what I can do. I also need to read unserious books because life is too serious
Fingers crossed, praying, etc I’m soon to be a dog mum again. After realising at the beginning of this year that I need and am ready for another dog in my life, I have been trying so hard to find my soul dog and lemme tell you, it hasn’t been easy. But things are looking up!
I have come up with a better metaphor than “you can’t pour from an empty cup” for burnout. You can’t boil an empty kettle. Pouring from an empty cup just gets you nowhere. Trying to boil an empty kettle can ruin the kettle, the stove, and burn down your house if you keep trying it.
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I finally listened to ARIRANG and I didn’t get my wish for one song to have “you know that BTS is back” a la Spine Breaker, but I knew that chances were teeny tiny for that anyways. I don’t know what people’s opinions on this album are because I haven’t been around on social media, but I for one am so uncomfy hearing “Mike Will made it” in a BTS song and will probably cringe every time. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I haven’t heard that in a song since like 2015 and I certainly don’t want to hear that in a BTS song. I guess it’s just a me thing but I enjoy when they make their own music, I don’t really vibe with this album but I stand by the sentiment that you don’t have to like every song or album by an artist you’re a fan of, it doesn’t make you a bad fan and you shouldn’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Maybe some of the songs will grow on me when I hear them more, but I did actually skip some songs before the minute mark because they just weren’t for me, not my kind of music. I get that they just wanted to put something out and go on tour asap!
Also a side story about this comeback, my family and I went through something over the weekend and to cheer me up my dad mentioned that he had seen on YouTube that BTS were on Jimmy Fallon. “It’s not in English but it’s translated” - bless him 🤭
I have been writing mostly for myself for the last year or so, writing in character, so I've gotten used to writing she/her instead of you/your. But now I'm thinking... why do we write you/your? Wouldn't it make more sense for us to write in first person pov so that when readers are reading it they're reading I/my as if they're experiencing and narrarating themselves?
Maybe you/your started for little posts and then gradually fanfics also went in that direction?
chat reminder to just write whatever the fuck you want. write that overused trope. write that obscure shit that no one will have heard of. just. do it. your writing is yours stop depriving it of that.
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I don’t know because I’m chronically offline but I came back and her account has been deactivated 💔 I hope she’s okay, I’m guessing she’s just had enough of tumblr
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