this post gave me brainworms and it needed to be my first hollanov edit ty @symphoniccowboy
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song: judgement day by yumi zouma
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this post gave me brainworms and it needed to be my first hollanov edit ty @symphoniccowboy
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song: judgement day by yumi zouma

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I really do think that a lot of the guys in the MLH - whether they’re self-proclaimed allies or not - end up feeling pretty awkward and/or weird around Shane and Ilya when they first come out. Whether because of the rivalry or the queer thing, there’s an adjustment period for a lot of people… and I think, beyond player opinion kind of having to change because Shane and Ilya break so many pre-conceived notions and stereotypes of queer men, most of the guys are just really, really ignorant of what two men even do together in a relationship. Especially those two.
And so I think that when it becomes clear that Shane and Ilya have not in fact had personality transplants, and are not only still the same dudes but are now in a relationship with their best bro, some players do have a record scratch moment. Like, it’s bordering on the edge of jealousy. It’s very much a: “is this what you guys do all day? you just hang out and play chel and order in?” And “you guys went to the Super Bowl this weekend? That was the date you went on?” And “wait so it’s just like - you spend all day every day with your bro just shooting the shit and having a good time but you also fuck? which is hot obviously because you want to fuck. and are always horny. and know your way around the equipment. because you’re both dudes.”
“Uh… yeah?”
“Yes.”
And half the Boston Raiders leave that conversation thinking: being gay sounds awesome?
legitimately worldview altering realisation and i'm not even employed right now
you can't be a disabled ally without also supporting homeless people and addicts like it's just not possible
unhoused and people struggling with substance abuse
but this yeah
no i mean addiction. gambling addiction and self harm addiction included. we don't have to avoid these words like they're a bad thing. the stigma will exist regardless, so if someone says "what, you support addicts?" instead of saying "i support people struggling with substance abuse" you can just say "yes." no caveats, yeah i support addicts. i support homeless people. i support homeless addicts. it's fine
After years of regular abuse to their bodies, Shane and Ilya have lots of aches and pains. One night, Shane awakes to a familiar pain in his hips, tendons and ligaments pulled too tight. He can feel the pain, starting at the top of his leg, where femur meets pelvis. Can feel it radiating out, throbbing, traveling down his nerves to rest in his knee. Feels it spread further, down to his ankle and into his toes.
Shane knows this pain, and he knows the only thing that will help is to stretch the muscle. Pushing through the pain, he bends his knee and plants one foot on the bed, hooking his other ankle over his knee. He laces his fingers behind his thigh and pulls, his ankle coming toward his chest, stretching the offending muscle and tendon and ligament. The pull on his hip burns, and Shane pulls hard enough to almost feel relief.
Shane tries to do his stretches without waking Ilya, knowing he went to bed late and had to be up early, but Shane’s movement and unsteady breathing must have woken him, because suddenly Ilya is there. Strong, warm hands are stroking his hip and behind his thigh, helping push his ankle toward his chest.
“Shhhhhh, is okay malysh, you are doing so good”.
Shane whimpers at the mixture of pain and pleasure flooding his body. Unable to say anything through the throbbing, pulsing feeling that had made a home in his body.
“I know, you are doing so good. Just a little bit more and I will get your heating pad for you.”
Starting at his ankle, Ilya presses light, lingering kisses along his legs, following the same path as the pain pulsing in his nerves. Once he reaches the top of Shane’s hip, Ilya makes his way back down his leg, pressing sweet kisses to every inch along the way.
“Let’s switch sides now sweetheart”
After they repeated the stretches on the other side, Ilya got up to plug in Shane’s heating pads and arrange them on his aching muscles. Strong, warm hands massaged Shane’s legs, pressing hard and dulling the throbbing sensation with a new, sharp pain. This kind of pain was good. It broke up the ever present ache in his hips and knees and ankles, made him feel like maybe the pain wouldn’t last forever.
Afterward, with Shane in a position that doesn’t disturb his heating pads and hurts his legs the least, his head tucked into Ilya’s neck with his husband’s warm, perfect hands caressing his head, Shane whispers into the darkness,
“Thank you”
Ilya looks down and kisses the top of Shane’s head.
“Of course sweetheart. Wake me up if it gets bad again”
“Ya tebya lyublyu”
“Ya tebya lyublyu”

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content made for me in a lab (via cutilicious aika flores obv)
link to bluesky post
In addition to how to turn various things, it includes:
Other useful AI Removal/Detection links
How to spot AI Hallucinations like a Reference Librarian (originally on Substack)
Library Freedom Project has a lot of handouts about AI on their Resources page
imagine if some arena security guy escorting shane to the ambulance hears ilya’s name clearly when no one else does and sits with it and realizes that he may not know why hollander is so insistent on telling rozanov that he’s ok but he’ll pass on the message.
and so he gets himself into position near the visitor locker rooms and he gestures to ilya as he’s leaving said locker rooms (looking very shellshocked and quiet and scared mind you) and he takes him to the side and just says
“hey i was with hollander when they were taking him away and he kept trying to tell us to talk to you. tell you that he’s ok. man i don’t know why he was insisting but—”
and he just cuts himself off because rozanov’s face is doing something really weird?? Almost like affection?? Then it’s wiped clean and he’s rambling off this excuse of “oh we got friendly at all stars this year he must have seen me stay on the ice once he got hit okok thank you so much for message i have to go”
and the security guy watches ilya practically run to the team bus and just stands there and goes. huh. that’s weird.
then when they’re outed the guy is waking up in a cold sweat at three am thinking oh my god i was informing the man that the love of his life wasn’t dead
i think somewhere in their 80s ilya dies in his sleep at the cottage and when shane finds him in the morning he goes right back to sleep because obviously his mind is tricking him that his husband isn't breathing. shane doesn't wake up either. it's like his body spared him from having to live without his soul.
they get to spend their last moments gloriously naked cuddled up in their forever home. their 20 something year old selves would be proud.
We need like 40 more challengers stat I want straight men to start complaining about how every woman on tinder only wants a bisexual male threesome

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another incredibly tragic thing shane just drops casually happens when he and ilya do a house tour for gq or some shit. the interviewer asks something like “whats the biggest change in your living space since coming out and moving in together” and shane goes “honestly just being able to comfortably live with each other. for a long time we were erasing every tiny detail of ourselves so we wouldnt be caught. but now we can have our wedding pictures on the mantel :)” and everyone dies
I lowkey have beliefs n stuff but nobody wants to here my theories
I think there's a part of Shane that genuinely believes that when he finishes his last game, they will take him out back and shoot him like a sick dog.
Okay yes we laugh and joke about Ilya never winning an argument in that marriage, but we have proof IN THE SHOW that Shane will not stay mad at him for ANYTHING.
Shane got ghosted for 6 months and after yelling at him for 20 seconds folded under NO PRESSURE and was giggling and cheesing when Ilya came near him. STAND UP

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shane cockwarming ilya this, shane cockwarming ilya that… this fandom tends to forget that ilya is a throat goat and freaking loves to suck a dick, he swallows cause he “does not mind” (i.e. moans harder when shane cums down his throat than shane himself.. you know - the person cumming)
add to it that ilya loves resting his head in peoples laps, getting his hair played with.. and has an oral fixation
so what i am saying is that ilya loves, loves, LOVES! cockwarming shane - sometimes they just chill on the couch, watching a renovation show or a movie ilya isn’t particularly interested in so while he rests his head in shane’s lap he simply turns around, tugs shane’s sweats down and puts shane’s cock in his mouth
they stay like that for a long time, ilya gets all floaty and sleepy bc shane’s hand is stroking through his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp and his cock is in his mouth
when ilya gets antsy again he starts sucking him off and gets him to come quickly, swallowing at the end of course and goes back to cockwarming him if shane wants to continue watching his show