Kattlovescartoons

It is, however, imperative he never realises he’s doing it. For example:

—

Robert and Roy? Tried solving a physics formula for the suit for a few hours. Days. Weeks, possibly.

Robert drank 5 days old coffee. Roy wrote his will just in case.

Flambae? Only stopped by to drop some food for his annoyingly cute boyfriend. Smack a few kisses on his cheeks. As a treat.

“Oh, that really fucking bothers me,” he gestures to the wall-long formula they’ve written on the whiteboard. “Hold on.”

He solves it.

While humming ‘hips don’t lie’.

“See! All you gotta do is manually decrease the propulsion heat when you reach peak altitude. Easy as shit. Or pie? Eh, shit sounds more badass.”

“…How did you do that.”

“Do what? I zoned out.”

—

“Hey, Bob-Bob, hand me the cutting board. I’m about to massacre these fucking onions. Bitches making MY boyfriend cry in my own damn house? I don’t think so.”

“…This is a laminated thermodynamics degree.”

“Oh. Yeah, I’ve had this thing since I finished college. But I can literally fly. Who gives a fuck about that.”

—

The nail in the coffin?

Vanderstenk.

Who, apparently, decided to give the whole supervillain thing a try. For Flambae specifically.

“YOU! I always knew our paths would meet again, Chadwick. Ever since your brilliant discovery in non-flammable fabric overshadowed me, I knew our rivalry would never end. My only equal. My only enemy.”

“Uh. No idea who the fuck you are, dude.”

“WE WERE COLLEGE. ROOMMATES. “

“Oh! Nope, don’t remember that. Can I get an autograph for my friend Vic, thought?”

Alice notices how bad Chad feels about Robert. He starts to have doubts and guilt bc of how miserable his husband is : more closed off, always looks sad and pathetic, confused like he did nothing wrong, so deep in his work than Chad would already have an infractus if they were still together... And he's super frustrated Robert never acknowledged what he did. But he's afraid he'll be destroyed if he got an actual confirmation.

Alice has enough of that. She doesn't mind Robert never having an answer as to why Chad left him, he deserves to stew in doubts for the rest of his life, but Chad needs one. She pushes him to have a fucking real talk, with no implication, subtext or fake ego, just be direct.

Thinking about Flambae who insists he doesn’t need one because he can do it himself.

Thinking about Flambae seeing Robert in action and subtly changing his mind. He can deny he likes the guy, — poorly, — but he can’t deny the wheels are smoother.

Thinking about Robert fondly rolling his eyes when he finds atrociously written notes left in his toolbox.

‘Lunch w/ me >:D asked beef already’

‘u burnt yourself?? fucking idiot. come see me’

‘shop at 12. stay over. i’m getting that trophy for you. ‘

Thinking about Flambae going on a winning streak and everytime he runs out of his car, he goes to raise Robert on his shoulder first.

Thinking about Flambae wearing a blue wrench and a puppy sticker on his helmet.

But he gets stubborn. He gets cocky. He gets impatient. He wants to win for everybody, but he wants it on HIS terms.

And they fight. Speed over quality, safety over glory.

“I don’t know what you wanna do to yourself,” Robert refuses to change that smoking tire. “But I want no part in it.”

Flambae punches in gear first.

And as Robert watches him burn down and tumble in the ugliest crash he’s ever witnessed, he decides he never wants to see it again.

So he quits.

And Flambae will be damned if he doesn’t wait in front of Robert’s favorite supermarket everyday and convince him to come back.

Robert? Not impressed.

That man and his guilty sunset eyes can follow him all they want. He doesn’t care.

He doesn’t.

“Your fingers were fucking gone,” Robert hisses under his breath. “And the only thing you asked me was ‘what’s my time’.”

“…Bob-Bob, I’m gonna win better next time.”

And Robert says absolutely nothing. He just tells Flambae to fuck off.

The photo Robert sends Flambae?

Ryan Gosling body pillow.

I'm afraid this is the definitive end of the Ryan Gosling body pillow, rip.

I want you all the time.

"Morning." Robert said, with that smirk that told Chad he was in for a long fucking day.

"Morning, Robbo." Chad said, walking into the kitchen. He didn't see the cereal box Robert always left out. He looked back at Robert. He didn't have a spoon, just slurping pointedly out of the bowl.

He smelled coffee.

"Uh, Robert—"

"Checked the weather today," Robert leaned back in his chair to look at him. "It's muggy outside."

Chad stared at him. Then he looked at the coffee machine. Looked at the cupboard above it. Back at Robert.

"Bob Bob if I look outside the patio curtain and see all the fucking mugs outside I will burn you."

Robert said nothing. Just slurped from the bowl again. Slow.

Chad opened the cupboard.

It was empty.

He crossed to the balcony and opened the curtains.

All his mugs were lined up on the table and chair set outside.

Chad turned.

Robert ran into the bedroom.

Whenever Flambae’s mad at him (which only happens every day) Robert will follow him around in his swivel chair on breaks. He acts completely normal about it.

“Stop spinning, I'm trying to argue!”

Robert, increasing his spinning speed everytime Flambae talks: “I’m listening. Actively.”

Will use gen z slang just to mess with Prism, because he knows she (lovingly) hates it. “Ate that up. No crumbs left. Good job, diva pop.”

There's a call recording of just her wheezing for 5 minutes.

Gives PowerPoint presentations using an Elmo or Kermit voice. whenever Coop points it out, he switches back to his usual tone.

“I don't know what you're talking about. This is just my voice. Anyway, Elmo is so proud you didn't stab anyone!”

Prank calls Sonar by using a voice impression of HIMSELF to scam him. “What a coincidence, my name is also Victor! Don't I know you from Harvard? How do you feel about vitamins?”

“Dude, that's literally what I was trying to pitch for — Ohh, you son of a bastard.”

Just a silly little extra thing with Z-Team:

THEN Chad's sim has the audacity to tell me that he wants to flirt with the husband of that Goth lady because he FELT A SPARK?!

FLAMBAE YOU SPOKE TO HIM ONCE!!

Genuinely I'm very tempted on just doing it. Just to see the drama unfold, will I regret? Maybe. But that's a problem for future Katt.

What machinations are brewing within the mind of the enigmatic Red Leader?