GUT WRENCHING ANGST with ajax please thank uu
anything you ask, darling! @bwitch3d asked for something similar, so i made just one! thanks for the request. this one is a little long, but i hope u guys like it <33
ajax petropolus x fem!reader â forbidden lovers; angst + fluff at the end
NO MATTER THE CONSEQUENCES
You remember exactly how your first year at Nevermore was. Traumatic. You were excited to make friends, since you felt extremely lonely at home. You were an only child and your parents never gave you enough attention. So you wanted to have friends that you could play with. Things that children normally want.
You met wolves, vampires, mermaids and gorgons - a species your parents despised. Although, you wanted to befriend each one of them.
Ajax Petropolus, a gorgon, gave you a huge smile and asked you to sit next to him in your first class. âIs this your first day here?â the boy's thin voice made you crack a smile.
âYeah! How about you?â the boy nodded and you both spent the whole year together. Having fun, studying together. He became your first and best friend on Nevermore and you made a lot of other friends - but where you were, Ajax was and where Ajax was, you were.
When the holidays arrived, you were dying for your families to meet so you could spend the holidays together, but when your mothers saw each other, it was a disaster.
âYou!â the two spoke at the same time. You and Aj looked at each other confused. They already knew each other and it seemed like it hadn't been a good interaction.
âWhat I said about gorgons, y/n! We despise themâ your mother said and you felt the blood rush to your head.
âBut mom-â you tried to speak but Ajax's mom cut you off.
âYou two are forbidden to talk-â
âOh dear, let me give orders to my daughter, you should take care of this boyâ your mother interrupted. How could they do this to you?
âLetâs go, Ajâ the boy looked at you with no sparkle in his eyes. You could tell he was devastated. And you were too. You could feel your heart being shattered into a thousand pieces.
On vacation, obviously you weren't going to give up on Ajaxâs friendship, so you sent him secret letters every day - since your mother had confiscated your cell phone. But he didn't answered.
You thought it might be his mom who wouldn't let him send letters, so when your classes started again, you tried to talk to him.
The boy was in the library, reading a book very concentrated. âWe can't do thisâ he whispered without looking at you. He looked around, like he was embarrassed that someone would see you talking with him.
âCome on, Aj! You gotta be kiddingâ you nudged him, trying to make the boy laugh.
âI'm seriousâ he looked into your eyes in a way that broke your heart. It couldn't be true. âYou need to get out of here, I'm busy.â
You stood there for a few moments and left. Not even noticing that a few tears were falling from your eye. Your first friend in Nevermore already hated you and havenât done anything.
In class, Ajax talked to everyone normally, but he refused to look at your face. The rarely looks that he gave you were filled with sadness. He got close to Enid and Xavier - he spoke to them the way he spoke to you and it made your heart break even more.
Even though time passed, every vacation you had, you tried to find out what happened between your families, but you havenât found anything.
âMom, but forbidding me to talk to Ajax is surreal! Why so much hate between you and his family?â you insisted on every family dinner.
âStill not over it, y/n? Have you fallen in love with a gorgon?â your mother teased you.
âOf course not!â she smiled satisfied by your answer and it drove you crazy. âBut what if I were, what would you do?â your mother gave you a death glare.
âIs this boy trying to make contact with you?â
âNo, because you forbade us to talk!â you snapped.
âHoney, if he cared about your friendship, he wouldâve gone after you...which didnât happened.â the woman said like she was deathly sorry for you. If you could, you would leave your house and never come back again.
âYou disgraced my life in Nevermore.â you leave the table.
âI think she needs a therapistâ you heard your father whisper across the table.
But this year you swore it would be different. As much as you hated to admit it, your mother was right. If Ajax still wanted to be your friend he would at least smile at you. So the best thing you could do for your mental health was to give up trying to find a reason for your âbreakupâ and enjoy the year in Nevermore.
And so you did, you met a funny girl - Wednesday Addams - she barely smiled, didn't even show much affection, but she shared her thoughts and theories about the monster that was in town with you.
âI think you're the only decent person after Enid in this schoolâ she affirmed and you took it as the best compliment you had ever received in your life.
You also started seeing a boy. His name was Ryan - he was tall, brunette, dark skinned. He was handsome and fun. You were missing so bad to laugh with someone that it turned into something bigger.
âI think we should date, like boyfriend and girlfriend thingâ Ryan whispered to you one day while you were studying in the library. Your hand sweated and your heart raced. You felt like you were more scared than excited.
You felt that the boy was strange today, his legs were always shaking. He seemed distant and you didn't want to disturb him. Thought it was a problem with his grades - but now you realized that it could be the nervousness of asking you to be his girlfriend.
âW-what?â you stuttered, not knowing if it was true or not. You thought you didnât matched in that way, he was nothing like you. âAre you serious?â the boy just smiled but you felt like it wasnât a honest gesture.
"Great, girlfriend! We're dating now" he yelled for the entire library to hear. Some applauded, others asked for silence and you still didn't know how to react. What just happened here?
The next day, the news had already spread throughout the school. Even Weems came to talk to you. âCongratulations on your relationship, y/n! But I don't want to see him go to your room at night!â she laughed. âI remember my teenage days like it was yesterday.â she threw a wink in your direction and walked away.
But you started to feel uncomfortable when you walked down the hall and everyone started whispering and looking at you. If there was one thing you hated, it was having attention towards you. Something Ryan loved.
âAre you alright?â Enid asked you as soon as you sat in your seat to start class.
âApart from all those stares, I amâ you flashed a smile at her and the girl put a hand on your arm.
âIf you need anything I'm here, I ended up not posting this gossip on my blog, but that's because we're friends and I would hate to make you uncomfortableâ she said making you confused.
âThanks⌠I guessâ you whispered the last sentence as soon as Tornhill entered the class
Your gaze met Ajax's who was staring at you as if you had just beaten him in a fencing duel, he was sad and nervous. This minimal interaction had been the only one in years. Your heart sped up and you hated the feeling.
At break, you spotted your boyfriend who was laughing with his friends. When they saw you, the boys moved away and Ryan looked a little nervous. He didn't even kissed you. Maybe it was because there were a lot of people around him still whispering about you.
âEveryone is talking about us!â you whispered to him.
âI know! And I'm so sorry, y/n! I swear it meant nothing to me.â he stammered.
âHavenât you heard?â he seemed relieved.
âHeard of what?â you murmured. Your attention turned to a murmur behind you.
âI can't believe Ryan hooked up with Barbara! I thought he and y/n were dating.â
âNot everything is as it seems, right?â
âHe told me he asked Y/n to date just so she wouldn't feel so badâ
To be honest, you didn't feel sad that he had cheated on you, you felt embarrassed that everyone was gossiping about you the whole day and you didnât even knew about that. You thought talking to Enid and getting the full story before you looked anyone in the face would be a great idea.
You couldn't even look at Ryanâs face again as he grabbed your arm trying to say something you werenât able to hear. So you ran towards Enid's dorm.
You were so immersed in your own thoughts that you didn't even notice when you bumped into Ajax in the hallway, knocking over all five books the boy was holding in his hands. âI'm sorryâ you murmured helping him pick it up. You thought he was going to fight you or ignore you like nothing happened - as he always did.
âYou alright?â he asked still gathering some books.
âYou know about it?â you asked and the boy answered you with a simple nod. You got mad at him for it. You'd rather he had just ignored you, because he didn't want to know about your life for all these years. Now that you had been 'chetead' he wanted to know how you were?
âWhy do you care?â The boy swallowed hard and didn't give you any answers. You handed him the books and got back to what you really intended to do.
Enid told you that they had hooked up the day before Ryan asked you to be his girlfriend. Barbara - a girl you didnât even know - was jealous and that's why she spread it to the whole school. âYou really liked him?â the blonde asked you with a look of comfort. You knew you could trust her.
âTo be honest, I don't think so. In fact, I didn't even say âyesâ when he asked me. I didn't disagree either... but I was in shock! I just didn't know what to do or what to say." you heard Wednesday snort and you and Enid looked over at the girl who seemed to be concentrated on her book.
âRyan is the ugliest, dumbest person l've ever seen in my entire life!â you and Enid burst out laughing, Wednesday cracked a small smile.
âIt's true, though, y/n, you deserve a person who wants to give you the worldâŚâ the blonde said holding your hands. âYou and Ajax would be cute togetherâ you felt your heart ache and tears gathered in your eye.
âAjax and I are barely friendsâŚâ you knew that Enid was going to say something, but you chose to interrupt her. â| need to go up to my room, l'm a little tired and hungry! Thanks for everything girls, see you later.â
On the same night, when you got to your dorm, you thanked Bianca for being a girl who stayed in the library studying at midnight, so you would have free time to put your thoughts in order. As soon as you started to think about what happened in your day, all of your thoughts turned to books on the floor and a simple question. âYou alright?â
You rolled over in bed trying to think about your boyfriend... ex boyfriend or whatever! And you were stressed for not being able to feel even an ounce of sadness for the cheating. In fact, you didn't even know if you could call it cheating, because it was supposed to be something sad and coming from someone you loved, but you didn't love Ryan.
So your thoughts - these were treacherous indeed - went back to every moment of your childhood that you spent next to Ajax. And how your separation hurt. That was a real feeling, someone you loved couldnât be with you. And you hated him for not fighting for your friendship.
You hated him for every look he threw your way. Hated it when he didn't look. Hated that he talked with Enid the same way he did with you. You hated yourself for still having such strong feelings for him that you couldn't get over even after all these years.
The tears finally ran down your cheeks, and they became uncontrollable, you started sobbing. It was suffocating. You wanted to scream, you wanted to smack something, but all you did was lie in bed and try to sleep.
When you started to stop crying and feel sleep coming on, someone knocked on your door. âWho is it?â you screamed from your bed. Sometimes it could just be a prank that freshmen girls did, or it could be Bianca who forgot her key.
âIt's me.â Ajax. Your heart went into your mouth. You couldn't open the door, your face was red and swollen from crying.
âWhat do you want?â you asked, getting up from the bed and heading towards the door.
âI just want to talk, okay?â he said quietly. Ok, you would have to open the door, it would be very impolite if you didn't.
You ran to the bathroom and washed your face hoping it wasn't so obvious that you had been crying all night because of him. He would think it was because of Ryan, though.
When you opened the door, you felt your heart beat even faster. He was gorgeous it actually hurts. He carried a box of chocolate in his hand, the box you shared when you were kids. You also noticed that his eyes were black and his nose was bleeding.
You didnât say a word, you went to your bathroom to clean him.
âAre you crying?â he asked as soon as he entered your dorm.
âI was trying to sleepâ you dodged the question.
âI didn't know that trying to sleep you needed to cryâ he opened a sarcastic smile, but you remained serious. You weren't going to talk to him like you'd been friends forever. You started to clean the boyâs nose.
âWhat happened here?â you asked softly, and the boy looked at your eyes and you already knew the answer. He was fighting with Ryan.
âSorry.â he whispered.
âFor what exactly?â you teased and he looked at the floor.
âA lot of thingsâ he whispered. âI donât know where to start.â
âAjax, I don't even know if you can explain yourself to me! You didn't want to fight for our friendship. Maybe I wasn't as important to you as you were to me-â
âThat's not true and you know itâ he interrupted you.
âNo, I don't! How am I supposed to know if you started to despise me, you wouldn't even look at me.â you already felt your tears coming back.
âJust answer me one thingâ he approached you, your heart was beating too fast. âWere you crying for Ryan?â Ouch. he touched your wound, but you wouldn't lie. You swallowed.
âNo.â he closed his eyes for a few seconds, suppressing a smile, murmuring âgoodâ. His croaky voice made you weak. Ajax knew he was the reason you were crying for.
âSo let me explainâ you walked away from him and sat on your bed, waiting for him to start. âWell, you know our moms aren't friends. And I questioned why all vacation that year.â At least it wasn't just you.
âI found a very beautiful knife in my grandfather's office, I asked him what it was and he told me that that knife should only be used to kill people of your species.â What? You started to get nervous. âHe told me that a long time ago, a man of your kind had a relationship with a gorgon who was married... it turned out that they fought for their honor and the lover ended up winning... killing a gorgon.â This was looking like a book story, you were outraged. âSo to this day our species hate each other.â
âBut we could have fought it, that's no reason to-â
âYou haven't changed at all, y/n! I'm not done yetâŚâ you held back a laugh and he noticed, opening a shy smile. âI did something I had never done before, I argued with my family. I told you that you were the most special person I had ever known, that tradition could be broken, that we could declare peace.â he swallowed hard before starting. âBut then they said that they would put people to observe us, and if anyone saw us together, they would hurt you.â he said. âAnd you know that Weems is a friend of my parents. Maybe you didn't realize it, but she watched us all day, if it wasn't her, it was Professor Tornhill.â Wow. âAnd I decided to stay away from you, to protect you, but you don't know how much it hurt meâ he sat by your side and put his hand on his head. âAnd then I saw you with Ryan, like come on? He's an idiot!â you didn't know what to do or what to say.
You spent a few minutes with him in the same position. His nose made a noise and you knew he was crying. Shit. âI was worried that someone would say something to you that would upset you or do something to you and I wouldn't be there to protect youâ he finally lifted his head and wiped away the tears. âSo I didn't know what to do, if I stayed close, they would hurt you, if I stayed away, I couldn't protect you! I hate this! I hate that we've been put in this situation. I hate that there's no way out of this. But worst of all, I hate that I love you.â What? He loved you? Wow. Your hand began to sweat. Again.
âWhat made you change your mind?â you asked.
âI know I can't take this anymore. I can't hear your name on everyone's lips, knowing that there are people out to hurt you. I know my life would be so much easier if I wasn't in love with you. I promised to stay away from you, but I canât. You are the bane of my existence. And I want⌠need to be with you, no matter the consequences.â he looked into your eyes and held your hand, you smiled, your entire body feeling warm, with a few tears falling from your eyes.
âIâm determined to leave my house if I have to. Let's create our own lives. I honestly donât give a fuck about people say. We are destined to be together, I've never even thought that I could love someone as hard as i love you.â you walked up to him and wiped away a tear on his face.
You kissed him and it was a little wet due to crying. But it was sweet. It was desperate. You knew you love him. And you loved him so much, that it was killing you.
âI love youâ he whispered against your mouth.