Many young wizards have taken to transmuting swans into humans and marrying them. One day, you are lucky enough to find a swan in the wild, and without hesitating, you turn it into a beautiful lady. Unfortunately, that ‘swan’, was a goose. You have just given a goose a human form.
After I explained the mistake, she laughed uproariously.
“You’re damn lucky I’m not a swan!” she said, wiping tears from her eyes. “They get by on their reputation for being pretty and graceful, but buddy, a swan ain’t nothing but a bigger, meaner goose. What do you all want swan wives for anyway?”
I opened my mouth and then shut it again. Honestly, I hadn’t actually stopped to think about that much. It had become a mark of status, having a demure, graceful woman following on your arm, always dressed in white and gazing soulfully about.
“They all seem very nice,” I said finally.
She pursed her lips thoughtfully as she finished pulling on the robes I’d brought with me. “Then there’s something else going on,” she said. “I’ve met my share of swans and not a one of them would put up with that shit. Are you sure they were swans to begin with?”
“Well, no, now that you mention it. I mean, everyone says that’s what they are, but I’ve never actually seen anyone else do it.”
“Do they talk? Act like humans? Do they seem intelligent?”
“Well, they are humans, so I suppose they must be, right?” This conversation was not going the way I had expected it to.
“Hah! Fat chance. Transmutation is just changing the shape of a thing. You turn a swan into a human and all you’ve done is put a swan mind in a human-shaped box. Wouldn’t do a wizard much good to be able to turn into a wolf or whatever if they suddenly only had a wolf’s brain to work with, would it?”
“So, you’re saying that if those women were swans originally, they’d still act like swans?”
“Hoo boy yeah,” she said. “Absolutely. Hissing, biting people, trying to build nests, shitting everywhere. The works.”
“Wait, but what about you?” I asked, desperately trying to get the conversation back on track. “You seem like a human, but you were a goose ten minutes ago.”
She grinned wickedly at me.
“I was shaped like a goose ten minutes ago,” she said. “And I appreciate the makeover. But I wasn’t a goose to begin with. Now come on. There’s something hella creepy going on around here, and we’re gonna figure out what.”
She started walking back up the path towards town.
“Wait!” I shouted, hurrying after her, “If you weren’t a goose, then what are you? And what’s your name?”
“You can call me Gwydd,” she said. “And as for what I am, it’s a long story. I’ll tell you some day. But first, you’re going to tell me everything you know about these swan ladies.”
I described again how the supposed transmuted swans acted. "They never speak, but they seem to know etiquette. They look fondly at their husbands, but now that I think on it, the fondness appears more rehearsed than genuine. They move and dance with grace, but if you observe long enough, there is a feeling of repetition. No variance. But...Gwydd...I am dying to know more about you. How did you become a goose?"
Gwydd beckons me to keep up as she heads to town. "If you must know, I'll give you the short version. I am a sorceress. I came to this place to track down an arcane anomaly affecting my spells. Triangulating the source eventually, I came here and...became a goose involuntarily. I have yet to discover how. And now that I have answered your question, tell me, why didn't you just cast Awaken on a shrubbery or something? At least then it would have intelligence near your own, even if it would be naive as a babe."
"It's just the newest cool thing to do, I suppose. So many others said they had transmuted a swan, and their wives always seemed so demure and mindful. Though upon reflection mindful does not fit well as a descriptor."
"It does not fit well for these young wizards, either. Well we're going to find out what this is all about, and I'll be dispelling some wives very soon. By the way, I am NOT marrying you, if that wasn't obvious to this point."
I smiled and hurried after Gwydd. This was going to be much more fun than anything I had planned.
The first "swan-wife" I pointed out to Gwydd slumped as she cast her spell to remove magical effects. She didn't cast it as I was taught to construct a Dispel Magic spell. There weren't enough hand gestures or words spoken. It wasn't even a word, more like a quick melody.
A strange grinding and clacking began to come from the still woman, and as I turned to Gwydd to confirm that she hadn't done something very nefarious, observers in the room erupted in a frightened chorus.
"By the gods! Her arm's off!"
And it was. Her right arm had fallen from her body onto the ground, and even more alarming, the loosed connection between the separated parts revealed gears and cogs.
"Is that an automaton construct?" I whisper to Gwydd.
"Why yes. I believe these young wizards have been acquiring their wives from an enterprising artificer. And it was obvious just looking at the 'husband' that he didn't have the arcane wherewithal to transmute a fly. Thankfully I was here to free the captured soul that was its power source."
"Wait, constructs are powered by...souls?!"
Gwydd nodded to me solemnly, "It is a wretched act to create, one that knots the weave of magic itself. And I begin to have an idea why I was drawn to this place, and why someone would want to stop me from investigating its core. Are you in?"
Something inside me squealed in excitement at the thought. I was going on a QUEST!
