Collection of Reflections

Nina Simone by Anthony Barboza

I can understand how the mind can fantasize about the luxuries of being able to stay at home. So I try not to carry too much judgment when I find that people are jealous of what they think not having a job looks like. Yes, I am a stay at home mom. And trust me, that is a job. Especially with three crazy children running around almost nonstop. I often wonder what they think transpires in a house full of kids. What they think I do all day. And once upon a time, I felt the need to defend all that I do. As if having those jealous minds understand the amount of exhaustion staying at home all day brings-no adult conversation, no breaks, no me time, no freedom-as if my life depended on them realizing how hard this shit really is for one person. But nah. I’m a just keep doing what I’m doing. Let the unnecessary jealousy work itself out on its own. I wish I could take my ass to work everyday. But trust, I’m going to make the most out of my circumstances. And focus less on how others perceive and judge me as a person.

He will not teach his children anything. For the early years of their lives he will be absent. He will run the streets doing as he pleases. He will do only for self. And forget that he was supposed to get his two youngest shoes. He will expect the mother to educate, nurture, entertain and tend to the kids. As he only contributes less than half of his check. He spends the rest only on himself. He does not pay any bills. He does not make repairs in the house. He comes home and throws his shoes and clothes anywhere. Leaves his wet towel on the bed every day. He lays in the bed and looks through his phone for hours. Then complain about having nothing to do as his children look up at him with pleading eyes. He’ll take the one outside for ten minutes maybe. If the baby is crying he won’t budge. If they want anything they go to her. They know not to go to him. Because they know he won’t do anything. And through all of this he will criticize the woman holding down the fort. This is the narcissist father.

yrsadaleyward

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