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I like to imagine that there actually exists a person with a cock so huge that it is inconvenient, I'm talking third leg massive, rolling pin, curling iron, sofa cushion kind of length

#yanking that thing usunder #takes them minutes to stroke it

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A drunk wanks havana inducing

#can you tell im british

Started picking out an outfit, 20 minutes later I'm naked, journaling about my mum and crying to stereo love which came up on shuffle.

How do you jerk someone off? Like I feel like it'd just be so embarrassing? Sitting next to them like

whyenn-reader

getting both wet AND hard because i don't let my physical form limit my self expression

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Anyone noticed that flies and rabbits clean their faces in the same way?

I make a POINT of being nonsensical actually so boohoo faggot you can go misunderstand in a corner.

yokowan

asking "hey is it fine if I smoke in here" and before you're able to answer I've already set up a full rack of salmon over a fire in your living room

Once upon a time there was an old man. He lived far far away from here, further than the furthest distance you can imagine. He lived in the uppermost branches of a baobao tree and had not stepped foot on the ground for longer than most of you have had teeth.

This meant that after years and years of travel, you had to speak to the man from 10 meters away. Him shouting down at you and you, craning your head up to hear.

His name was Fanomezantsoa, and he is who this story will be about.

#story #old man #journey #story introduction #short story #Madagascar

rathayibacter

that pistachio completely sealed in its shell is scared and alone, like a miner trapped by rubble. you need to free it by any means necessary. get the gun from your dad's cabinet

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Sometimes I get sad but then I remind myself I'm too cool to cry and emotional detachment is sexy and then I'm fine

Pussy so acidic it burns through my pants

greelin

i really can’t tell you if the meds are working. But well i love to laugh

gaynfl-moved

you got commitment issues so bad you might aswell be growing on a tree

The way you leaf 😃

#the crowd goes silent

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malteasehers

You ever go to type something and then think

"this one's for the notes app my boy"