Business Woman At Large

When you see a $250 burger on the menu, first reaction most likely would be: “WTF?” , ”RIDICULOUS!”  "Only a ____ person would buy that." (What word did you use? Arrogant? Elitist? Jackass? Dumbass?)

Sure, you could take that approach and insult people who spend a lot on something. That’s what most people do. Or you can say, “Hmm… Who actually buys this and why?"

As a general rule, people who spend 100x more than other people are not stupid. There’s something else going on here.  Something that almost nobody talks about.

…Lets take a look into the world of LUXURY.

Luxury is one of those things that makes us feel happy, sad, angry, and jealous - all at the same time.  Yes, think about it…  For example, who the hell walks into a Tom Ford store and buys a $6,000 dress or suit…on a Wednesday? $6,000 for just ONE suit!  Just thinking about spending that much money on clothing makes some people cringe.  But notice that if you were given this suit for free - the same suit James Bond wears that fits like a glove - every single one of us would put it on with a huge grin and brag about it.

Most people think spending this kind of money is completely stupid and irrational. Some even laugh at the people flying first-class. "Lol, stupid. They paid 3x the airfare, but we’re all going to the same place. Ha ha.” But why don't you stop and ask, "Hey, I wonder why those people are spending that kind of money?"

You’ll notice that most frugalistas and experts completely dismiss the value of luxury. They see the world as a spreadsheet of dollars and cents that can be counted and should always be maximized to save as much money as possible. But you and I know that’s not how life works. Sure, saving is important, but if you can afford it and you want it, shouldn’t you be able to splurge to buy it - every once in a while? I say, spend extravagantly on the things you love…and cut costs mercilessly on the things you don’t.

Interesting? Now, do you see why we feel so conflicted about luxury?

We want it, but at the same time we don't. We see it everywhere, but nobody wants to talk about it publicly. We say certain things are "wasteful," but the $25 lunch we bought yesterday seems wasteful to someone who’s living on $25 a month and feeding a family of four.  And we’re all for luxury until we see how much it actually costs...at which point we instantly label it “ridiculous.”

Am I saying you should immediately go out and buy a $6,000 suit? No.

But what I am saying is that it’s better to understand what’s going on in this luxury world than to immediately write it off as "too expensive" or “stupid.”

In fact, I’ve seen my view of luxury change through the years because I've seen it from both sides of the table. In my first year in the States, I earned only $11,000 and I didn’t spend a lot on luxury then, nor I had much understanding. But as my income grew, I saw another side.  As I started seeing things from both perspectives, I learned to move past the sticker shock of saying "That cost HOW much? That’s insane!" and appreciate it instead.

Maybe your luxury is insane. Who cares?

Let’s get one thing clear: Luxury doesn’t have to mean a $50,000 dog house or a fur coat for every night of the week. YOU choose what luxury means to you.

I might think it’s insane, your college friend might think it’s insane, but if you’re getting superlative value from it, that’s luxury.

Instead of being dismissive of all luxuries (like I used to be), I decided to learn about the reasons behind why people pursue more, even when others might find it ridiculous or frivolous.

Check out what I learned:

LUXURY REASON #1: Functionality. I used to not understand people who got first-class airplane tickets by saying, “Ugh, we both get to the same place, and I just saved $2,000.” I was a stupid know-it-all when I said that. Now I know when you travel first class I can actually sleep well on cross-Atlantic flight, wake up fresh, have a decent breakfast before landing (therefore save time), and go straight to a meeting. Luxury can be functional.

LUXURY REASON #2: Economical. Luxury is, by definition, not cheap. But some people change from a “disposable” mentality of buying cheap umbrellas, cheap clothes, cheap EVERYTHING…to selectively buying the best and keeping it forever. I have few dresses and coats that costs what many would consider an obscene amount. Timeless and flawless after 10-20 years, and if you divide the price by amount of time — the price becomes much more palatable. And that says nothing about how much I love wearing it. There are very few things that give me more pleasure than turning heads when I walk in to a function or a ball in my custom Dolce & Gabanna dress.

LUXURY REASON #3: Jay-Z vs. Dorothy. So many people cannot fathom the idea that what costs a lot to you may not cost that much to someone else. Go look at literally any forum online about how much people paid for wedding rings. 90% of the respondents will say something like, “My husband paid $287 and we’ve been married for 30 years. Anyone who pays more is a fool!” That is great, Dorothy. But there are also people for whom $287 is like an eighth of a cent to you. They earned more, or they just have more (Jay-Z’s ring to Beyonce was wooping 5M, and Beyonce dropped 40M on a present to Jay-Z).  As you see it is all relative.

Coming from Russia, I got my fair chance to experience all types of caviar on a daily basis, and came as close to being an expert as one mortal could :) and here is pretty much all you need to know about caviar:

Real caviar: Sturgeon roe is considered to be premium and “true” caviar. It comes in three varieties — beluga, sevruga and osetra.

The most expensive is beluga caviar (about $250 per ounce). It comes from the Caspian Sea, which is bordered by Russia and Iran. Beluga is characterized by soft, small pea-size eggs ranging from pale silver-gray to black with a hint of green. Due to over-farming, it is illegal to import beluga to United States, so dont forget to try it on your next European or Russian adventure :)

Step down is osetra caviar which is medium size and gray to brownish-gray in color. Next in quality is the smaller, gray sevruga caviar.

Caviar is extremely perishable and should be refrigerated and eaten within three weeks of taking it from the fish. There is some disagreement about freezing caviar for longer shelf life. I personally feel that it alters the taste, others say it should be frozen by the processor and be purchased frozen by the consumer. Well, to each his own! Also, caviar should be taken out of the fridge about 15 min prior to consumption to “warm-up and relax” a bit for a true experience.

Other “Caviars” aka Roe: Much less expensive “caviars” include lumpfish roe (yes, only sturgeon caviar can be called caviar) with tiny, hard, black eggs (used as a garnish in Japanese restaurants), whitefish “caviar” (also called American Golden) with small yellow-gold eggs (garnish as well), and salmon roe (also called “red caviar”) with medium, pale orange to deep red eggs. Many say that this category should not even be called “caviar”,  I can not agree more.

How should it taste: Fresh caviar should be bright, shiny and whole. It should not appear smashed, sticky or dull. Like good quality-fish, it shouldn’t smell fishy or pungent at all. It should have a hint of a sea breeze at worst, and no smell at all at best. 

Want success? Start with self-discipline.

With the Millennials leading the way, it becomes increasingly harder to be disciplined in a society that prizes instant gratification. We are more concerned about feeling good all the time, so we seek immediate pleasures, whether it’s a new car, an exotic trip or a new partner. Our long-term goals are not so important anymore. We get comfortable and wait for a special event to give our lives meaning, happiness and success, we forget that the best things in life do come from commitment and dedication to your goals.

Discipline is the difference between being in control of your future and letting your environment dictate your destiny. Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.

Discipline means freedom and happiness. It gives you the ability to do what you want because you know you can learn how to achieve any dream you set your mind to. Discipline teaches you how to control your thoughts—and how to be happy in any situation, to visualize positive emotions and trigger an optimistic mood. Discipline builds self-confidence, mental and physical strength, and inspires you to grow as a human being. With growth comes the ability to enjoy life in deeper, more meaningful ways.

Anyone can develop discipline. It’s a skill and it’s not complicated—you just have to train yourself for it.

So how do you maintain discipline? By combining an automated brain program—doing whatever needs to be done—with an incredible commitment to your goal and without procrastination. 

Set CLEAR goals: If there is no clear goal, there is no opportunity to create the specific steps you’d need to do to accomplish it. 

Make that goal your everyday PRIORITY and when you start the process, don't question it, don't hesitate, don't back down—you have to work on it every single day to reach your dream. Create a ROUTINE and stick to it until it becomes automatic. 

Understand that progress is change: Your body and brain will do everything it can to resist change and growth. You need to know that it’s natural to feel lazy and undisciplined—but you also need to know that you have all the power to fight it. You have to separate yourself from the feelings that stop you, like fatigue, laziness or self-pity. You have to go above them, even if your feelings tell you that you are tired, stressed and alone in this struggle. Discipline is the direct training of a fighter. 

Kids aren't the only ones who should have fun on Easter Sunday!

The older you get, the more stressful (and less fun) holidays seem to get. Instead of waking up excited about the upcoming egg hunt, you dread having to peel yourself out of bed early on a Sunday. Rather than tearing through the candy and toys in your basket with joy, you're responsible for filling them, and you never get one of your own anymore. One of the worst things, though? You don't just get to pig out on a multi-course meal cause you probably watching that figure or even worse: counting those calories; yet still have to help prepare it, cook it, serve it, and probably clean up after it, too. Sometimes being a grownup sucks, especially around kid-centric holidays.

We all know there's no going back — we can never be kids again. The good news? You can still find ways to have adult-friendly fun that will make you feel like a child again. For the downtime you have between all the adulting on Easter, here are eight adult Easter activities that will help you have a fun day, too.

If you want to do an Easter egg hunt for adults, but don't want it to be alcohol-related, go for every grown-up's next favorite thing: money. Have everyone bring a plastic egg or two with a scratch ticket inside, and then hide them all around for people to find. It's an inexpensive way to spread cash around, and if you're lucky, someone will win big and share the love;)

Add a little juvenile fun to your adult Easter with a good old-fashioned game of truth or dare. Fill plastic eggs with slips of paper that either has a "truth" question written on them or some kind of dare. Pass a basket of the eggs around and have people take turns finding one. If someone pulls an egg they don't like, they aren't allowed to pick again — they either have to do what the egg asks, or take a drink. Be careful what you pick! LOL

One of my favorite traditions as a kid was the annual egg tap game. The rules are simple: everyone grabs a hard-boiled egg and goes around in a circle using their egg to try and crack the person's egg next to you without cracking your own. To give it an adult twist, you can give away a bottle of champagne for the person whose egg cracks last.