"two fingers are all I need to get the job done."

Levi: it's like they say. never bite the hand that fingers you

Hange: PFFFFF

Moblit: no one has ever said that

Levi: it's a saying. people say this

Miche: it's "never bite the hand that FEEDS you"

Levi: ?????

Levi: that's stupid. no hand has ever fed me

Moblit: slaps a hand over Hange's mouth (good and correct course of action)

Erwin, slowly extending an apple because that makes him feel sad on a molecular level: ...would you like. this?

Levi: not from that hand, you freak

Erwin: I WASH my hands??????

Levi: I will NOT be fed and fingered by the same hand, I am not an ANIMAL

Hange: shrieking into Moblit's hand

Levi heaved a sigh and suppressed a small smile when Gabi stopped in front of her cousin, head tipped back to grin up at him; Reiner was a brick wall of a man, and Gabi had yet to grow taller than even Levi. She’d get there, without a doubt–all his brats loved shooting up like the weeds he plucked from the tomato beds whenever he looked away for a second.

Levi, frustrated with his gay little crush: what the FUCK am I supposed to do about that blond man????

Kenny, wisened elder queer: have you tried killing him?

Levi, offended: obviously????

Kenny, nodding: that's a good start but this next step is CRUCIAL: you need to become openly obsessed with him and start MURDERING on his behalf