I'm being so fr rn. if I had a dick I would fuck Levi with it
I'm gonna make him my wife
YOU ARE THE REASON
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@malewife-levi-ackerman
I'm being so fr rn. if I had a dick I would fuck Levi with it
I'm gonna make him my wife

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in another universe three paces to the left
Levi heaved a sigh and suppressed a small smile when Gabi stopped in front of her cousin, head tipped back to grin up at him; Reiner was a brick wall of a man, and Gabi had yet to grow taller than even Levi. She’d get there, without a doubt–all his brats loved shooting up like the weeds he plucked from the tomato beds whenever he looked away for a second.
VERY teeny tiny chapter today. but Gabi is finally here!!! Reiner also I GUESS
I wrote a little something which I thought would be a bonus scene for the tumblr, but it's like 700 words so I'm putting it on ao3. fuck it we ball
Erwin starts spitting blood for no reason. everyone freaks the fuck out and orders in a Real Physician (you know it's serious when no one is calling for resident mad scientist Hange Zoë), who then determines that actually Erwin has stomach ulcers the size of fucking apples because he is the most stressed man who has ever lived and also almost FORTY (OLD 🫵) on top of that, BUT with a resting autism pokerface of steel so no one can ever tell he's fucking tweaking. this is Not Great 👍
the physician inquires a bit more about Erwin's general state of being and is unnerved and frankly horrified to find out that "both the chest and stomach pains have been at a normal and manageable level lately".
Erwin is astounded to hear that the chest and stomach pains are in fact NOT normal and his body has been basically eating itself from sheer stress for the past twenty-something years 👍
worry about it kitten daddy fucked up
don't worry kitten daddy got it
start worrying kitten daddy fucked up

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Erwin starts spitting blood for no reason. everyone freaks the fuck out and orders in a Real Physician (you know it's serious when no one is calling for resident mad scientist Hange Zoë), who then determines that actually Erwin has stomach ulcers the size of fucking apples because he is the most stressed man who has ever lived and also almost FORTY (OLD 🫵) on top of that, BUT with a resting autism pokerface of steel so no one can ever tell he's fucking tweaking. this is Not Great 👍
For @rsn258 I hope you like it!!
I think they would have at least 2 kids if they had. (Used images of holding a baby)
good evening?
how Erwin felt like a year after the rumbling when he realised he could finally get Levi pregnant
how Levi felt like a year after the rumbling when he realised Erwin could finally get him pregnant
it's honestly a good thing that Kenny wasn't a woman because a 6"3 milf being straight up unhinged, neglecting children, and murdering men for no reason would have lobotomised my lesbian ass

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would have been extremely funny if Kenny had been around during the events of No Regrets as a semi parental figure
Levi, frustrated with his gay little crush: what the FUCK am I supposed to do about that blond man????
Kenny, wisened elder queer: have you tried killing him?
Levi, offended: obviously????
Kenny, nodding: that's a good start but this next step is CRUCIAL: you need to become openly obsessed with him and start MURDERING on his behalf
Levi, intrigued: .......go on
how Erwin felt like a year after the rumbling when he realised he could finally get Levi pregnant
Political negotiations? Sure! I think it's working.
girl I'm losing it
maybe the single funniest twitter comment I've ever seen

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I see the evil in you and I don't mind
I wonder what Nile was like at Erwin's funeral
I'm having visions. after all the official business is long done and the funeral pyre has burned out, Nile returns to pay his respects to his ex situationship like the well adjusted married man he is.
only to run right into a dead eyed Levi, who never left. (Hange told him to take his time. it was an order from his Commander.)
words are exchanged, none of them particularly kind.
"what do you want, Dok?"
"to pay my respects."
"why?"
"he was my friend, once."
"and then he was your prisoner."
"..."
(Nile will not take this. not today, not from him.)
"you're the one who killed him, Captain."
(of course he knows what happened on that rooftop. he's a Commander too. he gets to know these things before most others.)
what he doesn't know is what happened right after he said that. the next thing he knows, he's on the ground, the grey sky above him, fresh blood stains on his pressed and laundered uniform shirt.
alone in front of the cooling pyre.
the next day, the first official letter issued by the new Commander of the Survey Corps finds its way onto his desk.
"Nile,
you both got a good hit in. let's call it even.
Cmdr. Hange Zoë"
Nile touches his throbbing, reset nose.
and he calls it even.