{ birthday }
Not even Haru was sure how to read himself in a sense of romanticism. Heâd never really thought about it before, never really cared, though suddenly it was something worth at least considering. It was all a bit confusing though, wasnât it? Who really knew about these sorts of things? There was no set rules, as far as he was aware. A lot of it would be discovered through trial and error, he supposed, testing boundaries and venturing into previously untouched territories.
It wasnât entirely unpleasant and bothersome though, he thought. The warm digits tangled around his own were nice, pleasant. The light, unfamiliar flip in the pit of his stomach that the contact elicited was⌠interesting.
Nothing had really changed much, on the face of things, at least. They still talked about the same old stuff, did the same old things every day, only now with occasional hand-holding and a 200% increase in flustered, nervous stuttering from the gentle giant over seemingly trivial things. Like hands accidentally brushing or shoulders bumping.
No brains, huh? Sometimes that would be nice, he muses, almost wistfully. Not having to think about anything. Like right then, regarding Makotoâs next comment and the accompanying suggestive squeeze around his hand that had sent his previous comfort with the situation scattering. The only motor functions Haru was apparently rendered capable of came in the form of turning his head to the side, his only available voice a quiet, noncommittal âMhâŚâ. The sentiment was no less than mutual, though voicing it quite so easily and in so many words was another story for a different day. He wasnât really sure how Makoto could come out with these little lines every now and then with no apparent trace of mortification. Maybe it had something to do with that fact that he was more attuned to himself, assessing and sorting the things he felt instead of pointedly ignoring them; pushing them to some forgotten corner of his mind and heart until he could ignore them no longer.
Makotoâs suggestion to move on from the room was actually welcomed. The previously comfortable darkness of the room had suddenly felt too thick and almost suffocating, warm and sticky and claustrophobic.
"Alright," he agreed easily, replying to the squeeze around his hand by untangling their hands, deliberately lacking haste as to avoid any misunderstandings regarding the whole hand-holding situation. Only once he let his hand fall lifelessly to his side did he realise how clammy his palm had grown without his notice.
The route to the underwater tunnel was conveniently signposted once farewell to the jellyfish room had been bade, making the next leg of their short journey quick and simple. By now, blue hues had once again become entranced with their surroundings, neck craned back to watch the creatures swimming serenely overhead. All of a sudden feeling greatly calmed again, wishing he was on the other side of the glass, weightless, like heâd float away to some unknown depth if there wasnât anything there to anchor him in place.
Heâd found them a nice spot along the wave-shaped tunnel wall, just behind one of the bends, quiet and not too crowded. Despite his efforts and much to his chagrin, contradicting the sense of peace that their surroundings evoked, Haru couldnât quite keep his mind from wandering into those dark, dusty corners of ignored thoughts. Of the tangles of fingers and easy smilesâtoo easy, disarmingly soâthat are so often thrown his way.
Maybe it wasnât that bad, and he was making an issue out of nothing. Maybe, with some steeled nerves and abandoned caution, it wouldnât be so hard confronting the issues. It wouldnât hurt to try, right? To let his guard slip, just a little, for now, easing himself into the situation while the notion was upon him; fingertips dully itching for something to hold on to.
With this admittedly uncertain resolve, Haru willed his hand to reach out, letting nimble fingers coil gently around the soft fabric of Makotoâs sleeve around his wrist. It was the next best thing to hand-holding, he told himselfâmore appropriate, at least, less in-your-face-PDA and more discrete, comfortable, just how he liked thingsâwith his gaze fixed firmly on the underwater world just behind the glass.
Baby steps.
The warmth that left his palm was accompanied by a heavy, black stone of loss in his stomach but his face only showed the same smile as always; Haru was Haru after all, there was a limit to what things Haru could do that went outside of his little bubble and PDA was a definite marathon away from it. Makoto's hand had been clammy and he shifted to covertly rub it against his left outer thigh to rid it of the moisture, following after Haru was that same smile that was always there around Haru. The smile of content, of love, of happiness. He didn't care where they went when they had these outings, just as long as they were together.
Others would have called them 'dates' but Makoto didn't see why they had to categorise normal friend outings as 'dates' simply because there was something more romantic between them now. They walked together, ran together, shopped together and explored new places together but that didn't mean that every little step outside their own doors together was a date; He envisioned dates as outings that were suggested with the name 'date' in them, times together that they'd have just for the sake of having a date.
They held hands maybe, there might be a kiss at the end (if he was going by the learning experiences that the daytime soap operas his mother watched had afforded him) and one of them would pay for the other or they'd split the bill. This wasn't a date, this was Haru's birthday treat.
Once they'd stepped through into the calming, quiet world of the underground tunnel he let Haru lead them to where he wanted to go, neck craned up so he could watched the sealife swim above the tunnel in awe; The way the water shimmered, the lighting, it was like he was seeing that special thing again he saw whenever they all swam together. The smile on his face grew wider, eyes almost sparkling as he looked around; Even the quiet being broken by a chatty group of schoolchildren being shown through by their teachers and an aquarium employee didn't detract his gaze from darting this way and that in a sheen of pure wonder.
"Ah.." A soft, startled noise when he felt the warm hand close around his wrist and his gaze left the tank and went down to Haru. His fingers flexed, itching to hold something but instead he remained content with the contact that Haru had started. "Did you see the dolphins?" He asked, reaching out to point at a dolphin skirting around towards the back of the tank. "I think there's a couple more in there."














